Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Street Respect: “They have no respect, the way they look at you”

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When the stoplight turns green and the shady grey van zooms off, the man sitting next to me scoffs.

“No respect,” he says in a thick Spanish accent.

“I’m sorry?” I say.

“They have no respect, the way they look at you,” he says, shaking his head.

“Oh,” I respond, a bit surprised. I have never had a stranger– let alone a male stranger– stand up for me in this regard. “Yeah, I know! It’s awful!” He nods, taking a long swig of his beer.

When this man first came up and sat down next to me, I had a thousand possible scenarios of what could have gone wrong– a young woman sitting alone at the bus stop late at night us particularly vulnerable. Yet, this man sat quietly for probably 15 minutes without saying a word, quietly sipping his beer. Despite all he could have done, he was nothing but respectful, even when the cowardly men driving by were not.

When it finally comes, we board the bus together. I sit down and the man stops in front of my seat. He extends his hand. “José.”

“Melanie.” Then I said, “Gracias José,” and truly, truly meant it.

– Melanie

Location: Near the Little Tokyo Metro Stop, Los Angeles, CA

This is part of the series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

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Street Respect: “Keep up the good work”

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To get to my favorite running trail I have to run through an apartment complex parking lot. I dread the start of every run because of the cat calls I often hear as I chug up the hill through the lot.

Last week I put on my straight face as I ran past a group of guys and heard the usual “hey girl!….” but then it was followed by “Keep up the good work- you are almost up that hill- you got this!”

I responded with a big, “Thank you!”

It just reminded me that I don’t need to be on the defensive all of the time.

– Stephanie

Location: Fredericksburg, VA

This is part of the series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

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Street Respect: “You have a great night!”

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Last night, I – along with most residents of my city – watched our team win the NBA championship for the 5th time! Afterward, I was pumped up enough to go for a short run through my neighborhood. All around, people were celebrating with fireworks, honking and cheering out their car windows. As I ran down the street, I approached a man walking in the opposite direction, presumably heading home from a nearby sports bar. When he opened his mouth to address me, I wasn’t sure what would come out. To my surprise he simply said, “You have a great night!” and continued along. I can say, that is the first time I’ve ever passed a man while running and received that type of comment. Obviously, it was a night of good feelings and camaraderie among my fellow San Antonians.

The experience made me feel great…how amazing would it be if this were always the type of commentary we shared with strangers on the street!

What can we do create more street respect?

Keep that neighborly spirit alive! Treat each other as friends and neighbors, not as subjects for rudeness, jokes or crass commentary. Brighten someone’s day rather than dampen it. Set a good example for your friends and bystanders by treating passersby with courtesy and respect.

– Sarah

Location: San Antonio, Texas

This is part of the series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

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Street Respect: You look “Fancy”

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Walking down the street Someone shouted that I looked “FANCY” and I appreciated that…because damn it, I did look fancy!

Finally a man had something to say to me that wasn’t about my body. My hair was bouncy and curled and I wore sparkly gold ballerina slippers and a loose fitting sweater… I felt fancy and I guess I looked pretty fancy too.

What can we do create more street respect?

Tell people of its importance. It needs to be engrained in society, that respect is the highest form of flattery.

– Perri

Location: Brooklyn, NY

This is part of the series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

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Respect on the Streets

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By Kendra Corbin, SSH Intern

I’ve been an intern at Stop Street Harassment for over a month now. During this time, I’ve had the opportunity to read countless stories about experiences with harassment on the street. It’s emphasized that crappy, unfair things happen in this world to good people. But at the same time, I still hold my faith in humanity because I know that wonderful people are still out there. I have learned this through my personal experiences with street respect.

Stop Street Harassment defines street respect as: “the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It is the exact opposite of ‘street harassment.'”

I believe that every individual’s comfort level with strangers is different, and that’s okay. Some people yearn for constant social interaction while others want to be left alone while walking through town or running errands. For me, fewer things brighten my day more than a polite person walking past me and saying, “Good morning, ma’am! How are you doing today?” I’m also a huge sucker for people that exchange friendly smiles with me, hold the door open for me when walking into buildings, or make pleasant small-talk while waiting in lines. I find it refreshing to experience polite courtesies in public instead of rude comments or behavior.

I wish that street harassers knew just how far respectful behavior would take them in life. I once had a young man randomly approach me in public. He handed me a card with his name and phone number on it. He smiled at me as he said, “Hi, I know you don’t know me, but I just wanted to give you my card. If you want, please feel free to text me. I would love to take you out sometime. Have a nice day.” With that, he walked away. There are a few reasons why this short conversation was so memorable:

1) While I never contacted him because I already have a loving boyfriend, I appreciated that he did not try to make me feel uncomfortable by being pushy

2) The conversation was kept short, sweet, and polite

3) He gave me the choice to call him instead of putting me in the awkward position of asking for my phone number on the spot

4) I’m at the age when it’s expected that people couple-up. Even if I’m not interested, I honestly do not mind if young men try to approach me, as long as they are respectful. That includes respecting my decision to decline any advances.

This experience proves that it’s possible for men to approach women in public in a healthy, safe manner. There is no need to whistle from cars, to honk horns, to stare in creepy ways, to shout obscenities, to touch someone without consent, or to make another person feel unsafe in any way. That type of behavior will not get anyone far. Nobody enjoys being degraded as they walk down the street.

Respect makes all the difference between ruining another person’s day and making another person feel great. Thank you to everyone out there that already understands the beauty of mutual respect for others.

Kendra Corbin is senior at Shenandoah University. She is majoring in Mass Communications and minoring in Women’s Studies.


 

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