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“Change the cultural response to harassment “

September 13, 2018 By Contributor

I was 14 years old, walking on a downtown Dallas street, when a man walking in front of me suddenly turned and grabbed my breast and just as quickly let go and kept on walking away.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

We need to change the cultural response to the harassment of women.

– Jane

Location:

Near the YWCA in downtown Dallas, Texas

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
s.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: 14-year-old, assault, teenager, young

Plane Assaulters & Perv Busters

June 27, 2016 By HKearl

First, I cannot even believe that a SECOND man was arrested this month for groping a teenage girl seated next to him on an airplane.

An Alaska Airlines flight from Portland to Anchorage was recently diverted to the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport mid-flight. A 23-year-old man allegedly repeatedly groped a 16-year-old girl seated next to him. Another man in their row intervened and alerted the flight attendant who then notified the pilot. The pilot diverted the plane and the assailant was arrested in Seattle.

In a similar incident this month, a man groped a 13-year-old girl seated beside him on an American Airlines flight. The flight attendant saw it and moved her and he was arrested at the airport.

What is wrong with these men?? I’m angered by their predatory behavior and blatant disregard for the feelings and bodily autonomy of the girls. And I’m grateful for the bystanders on the planes who took action to stop the abuse.

But in better news, I am loving the new “Perv Busters” effort that launched last week in New York City. We need a similar effort in every community!

Perv Busters - photo by Matthew McDerrmott, via NY Post
Perv Busters – photo by Matthew McDerrmott, via NY Post

Via the New York Post:

“Guardian Angels founder Curtis Sliwa…was training an all- ­female group called the Perv Busters. Their mission: Finding and shaming subway perverts.

“You know the signs that say, ‘See something, say something’? Well, we’re doing something,” said Sliwa, 62, who founded the Guardian Angels in 1979.

After the MTA backed out of a plan to deploy eight MTA cops to battle a recent surge in subway sex crimes, Sliwa decided to take matters into his own hands.

“I’ve got eight girls doing what the transit cops apparently can’t do,” he said.

His crew gathered at Columbus Circle at 8 p.m. Friday for their first night of prowling for “weenie ­wavers.” …

“We all know what it’s like to be harassed and followed. But you don’t have the right to complain if you don’t do anything about it,”
she said.

The team’s youngest member, 13-year-old Veronica Pagan, is a third-generation Guardian Angelette. She sported her grandmother’s beret.

“I joined because I wanted to make them proud, but I also did it for myself. I want to show guys that we are not weak, we can step up just the same,” Pagan said.

After a demonstration on how to handcuff, the girls lined up in formation on the subway platform.

Silwa ordered everyone to board, break off into pairs and stand in the doorways on lookout.

“The first thing we have to work on is the look. If you’re standing there all smiley, people won’t take you seriously,” Sliwa said.

Sliwa then instructed the Angels to hand out the official Perv ­Busters flier.

Rider Daniel Martinez, 33, was excited that the Angels were back, and asked Sliwa how to join.

“I just think it’s beautiful. It’s about time that we see women step up and be warriors. We need more Joan of Arcs in our city,” Pagan said.

 

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Filed Under: News stories, Resources Tagged With: airplane, assault, community action, grope, NYC, teenager

Healing after Assault Abroad

April 14, 2016 By Contributor

This article is cross-posted from Wanderful with permission from the author for International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

Trigger Warning: Assault

As non-male travelers, we live uniquely gendered experiences. No matter where we are, women’s safety is an ever-relevant topic. Thanks to technology, we are more connected to information about traveling to different parts of the world.

From deciding to go to Israel to attending protests abroad, safety matters to all of us. But how do we prevent or avoid smaller, more targeted crimes, like assault or petty thefts?

I had never been assaulted until I came to Nicaragua, the safest country in Central America.

I have traveled to several different countries and put myself in much riskier situations, so I did not expect to be assaulted at knife point in the morning as I ran up the huge hill.

I was wearing headphones, as I do on my typical morning runs, but I had no electronics with me. I wear headphones to avoid catcalls, so men will think I can’t hear their sexual and lewd comments.

trail-660x440Image by Unsplash user Paul Jarvis.

My attacker pulled out a knife and felt through my pockets. He knocked me to the ground and kept searching them, hoping to walk away with an iPhone. Ten seconds later he realized I had nothing of material value on me. He walked away with nothing, and I was physically fine, but I had the emotional consequences to deal with.

As soon as I came home, I felt extremely unsafe. Instead of my post-run feeling of accomplishment, I was petrified. I didn’t know what to expect after an event like I had just experienced.

Still, I vowed not to let this experience stop me from living and exploring this beautiful country. Just as I didn’t expect to be assaulted in a country where I feel relatively safe, I didn’t expect to recover immediately.

I did realize the importance of taking steps to heal, so I learned what to do after an experience like mine.

Here are the steps I took to help me recover from the assault:

1. Report the crime.

After being assaulted, I immediately called my Peace Corps Security manager and reported the crime. The hardest part of it all was admitting what had happened. I have never said the words,

I was assaulted at knife point.

I described the attacker as much as I could, and after reporting the assault, it was easier to process what happened.

If you find yourself the victim of an assault, reporting the attack to the police is also a good option. Even if the assailant is never caught, reporting helps others become aware of safety issues.

2. Write about it.

As soon as I reported the crime, I wrote down exactly what happened, to further acknowledge it. Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. After a few days, I wrote a powerful letter to my attacker in order to quell the thoughts of what I should have or could have done.

I don’t really believe in the concept of full closure, but psychologically engaging my attacker in a final dialogue and forcing him to listen to me made me feel as if I was able to process everything that happened to me and to gain some form of closure.

3. Don’t do it alone.

As an introvert, I usually thrive on alone time, but not after an assault.

I immediately called my friends, who came right away to keep me company. I told them that I felt like I’d gone through a break-up, and they reassured me that I was feeling as if I’d broken up with my feeling of safety. They had undergone worse attacks than I had in their lives, and we talked about things that we wouldn’t have normally broached in conversation. I was so reassured because I wasn’t alone.

A few of the people who supported me did so from afar. I reached out immediately to a few people with connections to Wanderful for online articles and resources. One of those was Leanna. I felt comfortable reaching out to her because she had been assaulted and was not afraid to write about this personal issue so publicly. She inspired me to be open about healing and to let others know they are not alone.

Delia reminded me that, although I wasn’t physically harmed, this was a traumatic experience and that I am more than worthy of self-care.

4. Be okay with your recovery time.

The first day was the worst. I had an insane amount of flashbacks. My mind kept replaying every little thing that had happened and how I felt in those 10 eternal seconds of my attack. I didn’t know when the flashbacks would stop, but I decided to be okay with it. I was also okay with crying at random times because I knew it would pass. I knew I needed to give myself the time I needed to process what had happened.

5. Talk to a therapist.

After my assault, I spoke to a therapist every day for three days. She helped me to come to terms with what happened and to process it further. I don’t usually seek out therapy, but I knew I couldn’t do this alone and that I needed to have a better idea of what to expect. Calling a therapist is still awkward for me, but I know that it is worth it. I don’t enjoy appearing weak, but I know that the short-term discomfort of reaching out for help far outweighs feeling too ashamed to reach out in the first place.

My therapist let me know that my flashbacks were a normal, bodily response and that, with time, they would decrease.

If you can’t afford a therapist, there may be a therapist in your area that offers their services on a sliding-scale. There are also online therapy options and help that you can find in books.

6. Be vulnerable.

Avoid listening to social stigmas of feeling “ashamed” that this happened to you. It wasn’t easy for me to write a descriptive blog post about my experience. The hardest part was clicking “publish,” but it was worth it.

I broke the silence about assault. Friends and acquaintances reached out to me, offering words of solidarity and comfort. I reminded myself that vulnerability is not weakness. We fear being vulnerable because we fear rejection, but I have learned to push past this fear and embrace my vulnerability.

Hopefully, you will never need to heal yourself after an assault. But you may encounter a friend who could really benefit from your support. If you do need this list, know that what you experienced is not your fault. Repeat that a hundred times to yourself if you need to.

Further Resources:
Post-Harassment Self-Care by Autostraddle
Traveling Is Healing for Me, a story by male PTSD survivor C. David Moody
Traveling with PTSD Discussion Forum

Do you have any other advice for fellow travelers about recovering from an assault? Share them in the comments.

Char Stoever was born in Mexico and grew up in Moses Lake, Washington. While at Wellesley College, she gravitated toward learning French and enjoyed being in language classrooms the most. After studying abroad and traveling in France, she realized how empowering it was to be a woman traveler. After graduating, she tutored at-risk high schoolers in San Antonio, Texas. She then taught at Brooke Charter School in Boston. In August 2014 she began her 27-month Peace Corps Nicaragua service as a TEFL Teacher Trainer. As the LGBTQ volunteer coordinator, she has led safe space trainings for Peace Corps Staff. She does social media marketing for the Peace Corps Nicaragua Gender and Development Committee,  and is an editor of Va Pué, the volunteer-run magazine. She also does social media work for Soma Surf Resort Nicaragua.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, Stories Tagged With: assault, Nicaragua, running, traveling

Suspect in the “butt slashing” cases wanted

September 7, 2011 By HKearl

Remember the serial “butt slasher” (aka the assaulter) who has been attacking young women in shopping malls across Northern Virginia? Well, the police (finally) have a suspect.

Via WTOP:

Image from Fairfax County Police, via WTOP

“Police named Johnny D. Guillen Pimentel, 40, as the suspect in one of the assaults. Police have not said where Guillen Pimentel lives. In nine separate incidents, young women have come forward, saying a man had slashed their clothing as they shopped.

Fairfax County Police spokeswoman Lucy Caldwell says detectives connected Guillen Pimentel to one of the cases. “We’re still investigating whether or not he may have been related to the rest of them [the cases],” Caldwell tells WTOP…

A list of the reported incidents:

  • July 25, Fair Oaks Mall, Forever XXI
  • June 20, Greenbriar Shopping Center, Marshalls
  • June 18, Tysons Corner Mall, H & M
  • June 8, Fairfax Towne Center, T.J. Maxx
  • May 16, Fair Oaks Mall, Ann Taylor
  • March 11, Tysons Corner Center, H & M
  • February 14, Fair Oaks Mall, near Champps
  • February, Fair Oaks Mall (no other info available)
  • February, Fair Oaks Mall XXI (no other info available)

An arrest warrant on a charge of malicious wounding has been issued, but detectives believe Guillen Pimentel may have left the area.

Fairfax County Police say he may be driving a blue, 2003 Honda Civic with Virginia tag KLX2689.

If you know where Guillen Pimentel is, contact police at 703-691-2131 or contact Crime Solvers by phone at 1-866-411-TIPS/8477. You also can email Crime Solvers or text “TIP187″ plus your message to CRIMES/274637.”

I hope he is caught soon!

Thanks to loyal SSH reader Golden Silence for the news tip.

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: "butt slasher", assault

Serial slasher stalks and marks girls in shopping malls

August 23, 2011 By HKearl

Lisa Kaplan Gordon via McLean Patch

Great opinion piece on McLean Patch by Lisa Kaplan Gordon about the “butt slasher” :

“Since February, a serial slasher has cut at least nine of our girls as they shopped in local malls – stalking and marking them, like an animal.

The youngest victim to step forward – I’ll call her Jessica, to protect her privacy – is the 15-year-old sitting on my couch, sipping water, talking in a soft quiver teenage girls use before they find their strong voice.

Jessica’s story starts around 7 p.m. on March 11, when she and a couple of friends did what ninth graders do on a Friday night – sail in and out of stores in Tysons Corner Center, trying on outfits and sampling lip gloss.

The girls were checking out H&M, a clothing store with good prices, when Jessica noticed a paunchy Hispanic man shopping alone, eyeballing her. She saw him again walking behind her posse as they made their way upstairs to a cosmetics store, and then for the last time when he dropped something beside her, which she stooped to pick up.

“I’m sorry,” Jessica said, eye-to-eye with the creep, repeating her go-to phrase whenever something seems amiss. She stood up, returned to her shopping, and then sensed a burn in the middle of her left buttocks. When she reached around, she felt a tear in her black leggings, and then saw her hand was covered in blood.

By the time Jessica realized she had been slashed, the creep was long gone.

“I don’t want people to think it’s some kinda big deal, or that I’m scarred for life,” Jessica says, trying to regain that teenage balance of standing out while blending in. “I don’t need or want pity for this. It hurt. It’s over. It’s fine.”

At 15, you think life either sinks you or leaves you unscathed.

At 50, you know every event has impact; that even the slightest turn of the wheel can change your direction entirely.

During the hour we talked, Jess said five times that her attack was no big deal. And, a lot of people seem to agree.

National media calls the creep a “serial butt slasher,” because “butt” at once titillates and trivializes the attacks, casts them as a bit of local color, like Italian men who pinch tourists cooling off at the Trevi Fountain.

Internet gossip monger Perez Hilton embedded a video of the slasher in a section labeled “Wacky, Tacky & True,” as though the attacks were publicity stunts or akin to wearing white after Labor Day.

I heard an ABC reporter say “the most serious injury was actually treated with a Band-Aid,” hinting that the slashes were benign because they hadn’t opened an artery, yet.

Even though Jess covered her two-inch wound with a Band-Aid, it bled all night and should have been closed with a couple of stitches, a doctor said in late July. That’s when Jess, after hearing about other attacks, worried about a possible blood infection from a dirty razor or box cutter and finally agreed to medical help.

“I was embarrassed about it,” Jess says, explaining why she didn’t see a doctor or report the attack to police for four months: Her mother did contact Tysons Corner Center security soon after the slashing, but never heard from mall security again.

Most of the time, Jess waves off the attack, mock-brags that the story is trending on Twitter, laughs when friends call her a “serial butt slashee.”

“It’s better to have them think it’s a joke,” she says, “than have to explain.”

But somewhere in suburban D.C. the sadistic creep is still at large. He’s following our girls, getting his sick kicks from slicing their skin, changing their lives in incalculable ways.

And there’s nothing funny about that.”

I agree, the term “butt slasher” makes it sound funny or weird instead of a serious crime. Maybe if the media called it assault there would be more outcry over the fact that a predator IS still at large attacking girls with a knife.

(Thanks to loyal reader MRH for the news tip)

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: "butt slasher", assault

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