Julia Tofan, Connecticut, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent
I’ve experienced street harassment. The first time I did, I was 12 years old on a Girl Scout trip to New York. The most recent time, I was 16 years old hiking at a park with my mother and my sister. Both times, and every time in between, it felt wrong and it made me angry. Worst of all, however, it made me feel powerless. There have been so many incidents, and I have not reported a single one. I believe in being empowered, practicing self-confidence, standing up for my rights, and fighting for equality and justice, so I have to ask myself why I haven’t reported street harassment. These are five answers that began to explain it.
- Victim blaming: That’s the typical response to street harassment, even sometimes by police. Discussions on street harassment frequently involve a discussion of the victim’s modesty, clothing choices, and the time and location of the incident. Less frequently do these discussions involve the conscious decision a street harasser made. The truth is, street harassment is experienced by individuals in all types of clothing, all types of locations, and all types of times. The only factor consistent in every single case is that someone infringed on their right to safety. The last thing any victim wants to hear is “you were asking for it,” and that’s all too common a response.
- Street harassment can be dangerous, yet society doesn’t acknowledge this. A man in Queens, NY, slashed a woman’s throat for declining a date and walking away. In the news, he was referred to as a “ruthless Romeo,” equating his murder with a fictional romance of young teenage lovers. That same month, a woman on her way home from a funeral was shot after refusing to give her number to a male and explaining that she had a fiance. In the news, the criminal was described as “not fighting fair” when he fought with the woman’s fiance and pulled out a gun. The problem with this statement is that it implies fighting without a gun for a woman who did not want his advances was somehow acceptable. These situations are not unique. Victims of street harassment live in constant fear of retribution. It’s not just the cases that are featured on the news though. More than that, it’s the daily occurrences.
- Police officers don’t always help. The very people victims should be able to go to for help are engaged in blaming victims, and that doesn’t give victims access to the caring and understanding support that they deserve. Finding examples isn’t difficult. Just look at the 2011 incident in which Brooklyn NY police officers stopped women in short shorts and skirts and warned them that they could become victims of street harassment and sexual harassment. An alarming number of police officers — like Daniel Holtzclaw in Oklahoma — even are harassers and sexual abusers.
- Street harassment is not taken seriously. “Boys will be boys,” “it’s just a compliment,” and “lighten up” are embedded in our culture. Reporting an issue that is not taken seriously is infinitely more difficult than one that is labeled as a certain crime. To equate stalking, assaulting, catcalling, and objectifying females with the nature of boys and the nature of relationships is to erase a victim’s right to feel pain and dehumanization in a situation that is in every way painful and dehumanizing.
- Women grow up with street harassment and become groomed to accept it. Studies show that 65% of women have experienced street harassment with half reporting it starting by age 17. In a survey of students in grades 7-12, 48% reported sexual harassment. Forty-four percent of individuals in the same survey who admitted to sexually harassing another individual did it because they believed it was not a big deal, and 39% were trying to be funny. These are the viewpoints children are raised with, and changing that understanding of sexual harassment, a form of which may be street harassment, does not happen overnight.
These five answers helped me come to terms with the fact that I stayed silent. I hope to feel safe and supported next time I experience street harassment, and to feel comfortable enough to speak up and make myself heard, but I am not blaming myself for not reporting what happened. I am not displacing the blame from an adult to a minor, someone powerful to someone intimidated, and most importantly, a criminal to a victim.
Julia is a student in a rural town in Connecticut. She writes for Givology, a nonprofit dedicated to improving access to education, and Dreams That Could Be, an organization telling the stories of students facing great challenges but persevering in their education. Read her blog posts on Givology and Dreams That Could Be and follow her on Twitter @Julia_Tofan!
