Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Be a Hero and Stop Harassment!”

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Breakthrough is a Delhi, India-based amazing, award-winning “global human rights organization that uses the power of media, pop culture, and community mobilization to inspire people to take bold action for dignity, equality, and justice.”

I first learned about them because of their innovative bystander campaign around domestic violence called “Bell Bajao” or “Ring the Bell.” It encourages people to ring a neighbor’s doorbell if they hear domestic violence occurring because that can interrupt the situation, and then to call the police if it continues.

I connected with a few staff at Breakthrough a few months ago (including Veronica Weis, the author of yesterday’s blog post about street harassment in Delhi, India) and invited them to participate in International Anti-Street Harassment Week. I was thrilled when they accepted the invitation and created this amazing bystander poster campaign for street harassment. Please the posters share widely!

 

 

They also created two comics about bystander interventions.

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College men share tips for stopping street harassers

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I love the work that Men Can Stop Rape (MCSR) does to challenge harmful definitions of masculinity and to empower men to be allies with women in ending gender violence. Their latest project is a new campus bystander campaign called Where Do You Stand? aimed at men.

This comprehensive campaign uses billboards, posters, T-shirts, bystander intervention trainings, and peer-education sessions to equip young men with the necessary skills and tools to intervene when they see a situation that doesn’t look right, including street harassment.

On January 31, they officially launched the campaign during an MCSR bystander training for about 30 young men at Georgetown University in Washington, DC. I attended and spoke at the beginning for a few minutes.

The main portion of the workshop was role playing and brainstorming responses to scenarios.

They also talked about barriers that prevent bystanders from intervening and brainstormed a list of methods for intervening, such as providing a distraction or addressing the harasser head on (see a photo of the list they created).

The first few scenarios they discussed focused on intervening in questionable situations at college parties. The last example on street harassment kept me furiously scribbling notes.

One of the facilitators described a group of men standing on a corner near a building, street harassing women going by. He asked the young men how many of them had seen that happen before and more than half of them raised their hand. Then he asked the for their ideas for dealing with this scenario. Here are some of them:

1. Say, “Yo, chill son,” to slightly call them out on the behavior.

2. Directly point out what they’re doing and say, “This is unacceptable.”

3. Use public ridicule to call them out or silence them…though a few young men pointed out that is okay if you know the harassers, but if you don’t and you call them out like that, you may “get whooped.”

4. If it’s your group of friends, tell them, “That’s not cool,” and if they keep it up, say you’re out and walk away. Chances are they’ll back down then. Another guy similarly suggested saying, “If this is how you’re going to spend your night, I’m leaving. This is not okay.”

5. Reverse catcalling the men can be effective. They don’t know how to respond or what to do.

6. If it’s a friend doing it, tell him that it’s not the right approach to take but to be the respectful gentlemen he is if he wants to meet someone.

Some other interesting things the young men said:

* Guys who catcall wouldn’t be my friends because that’s the rudest thing they can do and I’m not okay with that.

* Men catcall because there are other men around. It’s a way to demonstrate their masculinity while riding with your crew or walking down the street. So figure out why your friends feel they have to prove their masculinity to you and address that.

* If you establish yourself as a person who doesn’t laugh at catcalls, then it won’t happen around you because they won’t use that as a way to try to impress you.

* Intervening is hard, but once you do it, it will pay off. People will know you’re the guy who doesn’t like that behavior and others will call them out on it if they do it around you. Maybe they will still catcall when you aren’t around, but it’s a start. The benefits of intervening far outweigh the consequences.

I left the workshop pumped. I know there are plenty of men out there who want to help stop gender violence and harassment, but I’d never been in a room full of them before. It gives me hope! I hope you will share their bystander tips (and others from the Stop Street Harassment website) with friends and family. And if you’re on a college campus, consider bringing the Where Do You Stand? campaign to your school!

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Be a fake friend to stop street harassers (capes optional)

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Editors Note: This is cross-posted with permission from the blog Lauren Bravo is My Real Name. Her bystander intervention technique was simple but effective and it started off by checking in to see if the person wanted help so it was not dis-empowering. Her tactic is one that any one of us can do. So keep that in mind when you witness harassment and you’re not sure what to do.  Pull the fake friend card and step on in!

I did a good deed the other week. On the scale between replacing the loo roll when you’ve finished it and pulling a child out of the way of a speeding bus shouting “Little Jimmy, nooooo!” then I’ll concede it’s closer to the Andrex end, but still, I felt proud.

My deed was this: I saw a woman, on a busy Euston Road at 6pm, being hounded by a man. He wasn’t being outwardly aggressive, but he was sliming round her like a slug in an overcoat, asking questions and ignoring all clear signals (headphones in, one-word answers, refusal to make eye contact) that she wasn’t interested.

I caught the girl’s eye and mouthed, “Are you ok?” to which she shook her head. So then I had a decision to make, quickly. To barge in like the Green Cross Code Man and say, “STOP, letch! She doesn’t want to talk to you. RETREAT,” before blasting him with a sonic ray gun, or the alternative; pretend to be her mate.  “There you are!” I cried, launching myself on her (for if I’m going to do a good deed I may as well get a hug out of it). “Hi!” she faked, as I dragged her away. Then we stood together on the pavement miming friendly chat like a couple of am-dram actors, while Slug Man stared, lingered, and eventually slithered off back to his cabbage patch.

She was pretty grateful, or at least acted like she was. “I always attract the weirdos too,” I told her, in what I thought at the time was a reassuring manner. Then I disappeared off into the night, swishing my imaginary cape and feeling proud.

Why don’t more people do this? Seriously? There must have been 20 people within view and earshot standing nearby, yet nobody else paid the slightest attention. I assume for the same reasons more strangers don’t tell you when you have food on your face – because we are all really hermit crabs, and unprecedented human contact is more often than not a big ol’ faff.

There’s the worry that you’re going to get ‘involved in something’, of course, and I can appreciate that. But nobody’s saying you have to leap in with your handbag swinging. Even a stern glance or a calm, disapproving presence could help. A well-timed ‘tut’ might still go some way to helping these lowlifes learn that harassing us for the simple crime of possessing ovaries is Not Ok.

This isn’t necessarily about sisterhood, either. I stopped and rescued her because I’ve been in her place enough times to know it’s awful, and because it makes my blood boil that street harassment is still so commonplace when it ought to have gone the way of the permed mullet. But a bloke could likewise have stopped and rescued her because he’s a decent person, and it makes HIS blood boil that street harassment is still so commonplace it ought to have gone the way of the permed mullet.

So let’s make this a new thing – street harassment crusaders! Operation Creep-Be-Gone! Bolshy builders, drunk leerers at bus stops, creepy guys who hang around asking you your name at train stations – all beware! For before you know it, a Fake Friend might leap out of the shadows and stop you in your tracks. Who’s with me?

(Capes optional)

– Lauren Bravo, by day, Senior Writer for Channel 4 Food and columnist for the Worthing Herald series. By night, London-lover, glutton and grump.

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Domestic Violence and Street Harassment: Five Connections

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Today the building where I work is flooded with purple: purple sweaters, shirts, skirts, shoes, scarfs, necklaces, umbrellas, and even wallets. It’s also over-run by cupcakes…yum.

It’s Purple Thursday in Washington, DC, an awareness day organized by the DC Coalition Against Domestic Violence (DCCADV) during national Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Many of my co-workers at AAUW and I are wearing purple to show support.

The cupcakes are here because, as part of the Pixel Project’s “Paint it Purple Campaign,” I’m holding a fundraiser cupcake bake sale. All of the proceeds of my home-made cupcakes will go to DCCADV and Pixel Project. As the day comes to a close, I’ve sold 47 cupcakes (and counting) to the generous folks who work in my building.

I’m participating in Purple Thursday and hosting a bake sale because I believe no one should be unsafe at home or in trusted relationships, and certainly not one in four women. I’m participating in Purple Thursday because I have a personal connection to the issue of domestic violence through family members and friends who’ve survived such relationships. I’m participating because I spent four years volunteering at domestic violence shelters in high school and college.

I’m also participating, and blogging here, because of the very real connections that domestic violence has to street harassment*.  Here are five of them

1. Combined, they ensure that everywhere unsafe:

Too often people who do not “get” street harassment say, “Well if you don’t want to deal with street harassers, then stay home.” Most famously this year, a 71-year-old male mayor in a province in Turkey said, “Do not walk around, sit in your homes,” when women talked to him about the problem of street harassment.

Sadly, given how few alternatives there are for dealing with street harassers, many women occasionally do “choose” to stay home to avoid harassers and to feel safe. In a 1993 Harvard Law Review article, Cynthia Grant Bowman wrote that street harassment creates an “informal ghettoization of women…to the private sphere of hearth and home.”

Nearly 20 years later, that term rings true. “Choosing” to stay home in order to avoid harassment or worse on the streets is a human rights issue. Having to make this “choice” also begs the question, “What do you do when your home isn’t safe either?”

Getting back to the Turkish mayor, not only was his “advice” to stay home impractical and it put the onus on women to be safe instead of on men to stop harassing them, but it was also ironic. His town has a 70 percent rate of domestic violence and the women he advised to stay home were employees at a domestic violence shelter! They of all people know that a woman’s home is not always safe and they know that in their town, it’s not safe for 70 percent of women.

While other places have lower rates of domestic violence, telling someone to stay home to avoid street harassment is not a realistic or desirable solution and it can put them in more danger. For some women, the combination of street harassment and domestic violence means that nowhere is safe.

2. The same individuals may perpetrate both:

Just last week, police arrested Jesse Perez Torres in connection with the murder of a 17-year-old who was attacked in broad daylight when she was walking home from high school. He has an alleged history of domestic violence. Five months before the murder, Torres allegedly assaulted his wife and threatened to kill her.

If someone has no qualms about harassing, groping, stalking or assaulting (or, in the case of Torres, murdering) a stranger on the streets, they may not be very respectful at home either. And vice versa. If you hurt your loved ones, it may not be a stretch to think you’d hurt a stranger on the street, especially if you think you can get away with it, just as most street harassers and rapists do. As a result, working to prevent domestic violence can help prevent street harassment and vice versa.

3. Neither are viewed as serious problems:

For far too long, domestic violence was an issue people did not talk about. It was a private matter that you ignored if you knew it was happening to someone else and you didn’t talk about it to others if it was happening to you. The rise of the “battered women’s movement” changed that a lot, but today, the issue is still not given the gravity it deserves.

Did you know that funding to domestic violence shelters is often one of the first things cut or reduced in city or state budgets? When domestic violence isn’t viewed as a serious problem, shelters can seem unnecessary or “extra” instead of lifelines and beacons of hope. Earlier this month, the mayor of Topeka, Kansas, repealed the city’s domestic abuse law to cut costs so the city wouldn’t have to pay for prosecuting domestic violence cases.

From CBS: “Topeka has had at least 35 reported incidents of domestic battery or assault since early September. Those cases are not being pursued, and as of last Friday, 18 people jailed have been released without facing charges, according to Topeka police.”

Unbelievable and unacceptable.

Related, street harassment is rarely treated as a serious problem. Sexual comments, stalking and even groping are construed as a compliment, no big deal, and something to get a “tough skin” about. When street harassment escalates to sexual assault or murder, it usually is acknowledged, but only as an isolated incident instead of as something that’s part of a larger problem.  In the US, there have been no large-scale studies on the topic, no major public service announcement campaigns, and almost no acknowledgment from leaders and stakeholders that it’s a problem. This needs to change.

4. People who share their stories of domestic violence or street harassment are often blamed:

“Why didn’t she leave?” and “What must she have done to make him treat her that way?” are common questions people ask when they hear about domestic violence. Many people asked them in 2009 when it surfaced that singer Chris Brown beat his then girlfriend Rihanna.

“Why did you go to that part of town alone?” or “Why did you wear that outfit?” are common questions people ask when someone shares a street harassment story.

These questions put the blame on the survivor of domestic violence and street harassment, not on the perpetrator. Such questions allow the violence and harassment to continue and they create an environment where people who speak out aren’t taken seriously because it’s assumed they must be partly to blame for what happened. The blame game must end before more survivors feel like they can come forward and before all perpetrators are held accountable for their actions.

5. Bystanders can make a difference:

Let’s end on a good note. Bystanders can make a big difference in ending the social acceptability of domestic violence and street harassment by speaking out and they can make a difference in ending specific incidents of each behavior by creating an interruption.

A bystander campaign I really like in India focused on domestic violence is called Bell Bajao (Ring the Bell), which is a campaign that asks people to interrupt violence when they hear it by ringing the doorbell of the house. They recommend saying something like, “can I borrow a cup of sugar” or simply ringing the bell and leaving and then calling the police if the abuse continues. To advertise the campaign, they have video PSAs and a video van that has reached 5.5 million people thus far. Innovative and interactive, the van builds audience-participation through games, street theater, audio-visual tools and quizzes. The campaign just won the World Summit Youth Award in September.

In the USA, the University of New Hampshire and Men Can Stop Rape each have bystander campaigns aimed at college students that center on how bystanders can prevent and stop sexual assault and rape, and each campaign also addresses street harassment. They provide interested people with all of the components necessary to create a campus-wide campaign. If you’re on a college campus, I encourage you to check them out.

As Purple Thursday draws to a close, remember, you can make a difference in ending domestic violence and in ending street harassment by being an active bystander. You can believe, support, and not blame people who talk to you about domestic violence and street harassment. You can speak out against perpetrators of those behaviors. You can think of creative ways to interrupt and intervene when you know domestic violence or street harassment is happening, such as asking for a cup of sugar, asking for the time, or simply asking the abused or harassed person if they’re okay.  You can make a difference.

*Men face domestic violence and street harassment too, but the connections between domestic violence and street harassment are most clear when women are the survivors and men the perpetrators and that is the focus of this post.

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“Leave the women alone!”

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This happened years ago, but I was on a crowded tube train once when a woman was groped by a male passenger. I only became aware of this when another guy confronted the perpetrator and threw him out of the train at the next stop, shouting, “Leave the women alone!”

– Anonymous

Location: London, United Kingdom

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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