Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I was alone and scared”

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This evening, I was walking from my apartment to retrieve my car that was parked in our ‘first come first served’ lot. It was located behind some residential buildings a couple minutes away.

Just when my car was finally in my sight, I was alarmed to hear the sound of a man wolf-whistling some distance behind me.

I was alone and scared that something bad might happen to me.

I pretended not to hear it and did not look to see the culprit until I was safely in my car.

Now I feel an immense amount of anxiety and shame when coming to and from my car.

We should make forms of street harassment such as catcalling and wolf whistling a punishable crime.

Hold residential buildings accountable for the way their tenants act towards others while on their property, such as parking lots.

— Ashley

Location:

Residential parking lot located on the grounds of a BMHA (Buffalo Municipal Housing Authority) public housing building

 

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

 

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“Rhett Butler Is a Jerk”

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Guest Blog Post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2015

When I was little, I loved the movie Gone With the Wind. The idea of slow, Southern charm infiltrated my little girl brain. I wanted to live like Scarlett O’Hara and find my Rhett Butler (not Ashley, obviously, because the dude was a wimp and married to his cousin). Rhett Butler, though, was that ideal Southern gentleman, all charm and big smiles. He doted on Scarlett and challenged her, too. At least, that’s how I saw it when I was little. But, let’s face it. Rhett Butler was kind of a jerk.

Where am I going with this little rant? Well, when you think about the South, you don’t automatically think of the kind of street harassment you see in New York (those Yankees!). The notion of the perfect, Southern gentleman permeates through society. He’s slow-talkin’ with perfect manners. He would never cat-call a lady as she’s walking down the street. No, no, he holds the door for them when they walk into a store. Maybe tips his hat and offers a small smile. It’s a nice image, but it’s that chivalry that’s exactly the problem.

Street harassment definitely does happen in the South. It’s just slyer, more insidious. It’s coated with a particular politeness. It’s the subtle “Hey, darlin’, you sure would look prettier if you smiled.” It’s that “Miss, you are so pretty.” One time, I was standing at the bus stop and a man come up to me, smiled and said “Ma’am, I just had to come over here and tell you, you have one of the nicest asses I’ve ever seen.” It’s always phrased as a compliment. Heck, they give you the courtesy of a nickname or a “ma’am.”

But at its root, it’s the same exact cat-calling, just dressed up in nicer clothes. It’s not propelled by chivalry; it’s propelled by sexism. A woman is an object, something for entertainment. Even though it seems like a compliment, it’s not. It’s unwanted, uncalled for. I’m not standing at the bus for anyone’s entertainment. I’m just trying to get home from grocery shopping. But it’s not coming from a place of flattery. It comes from a place of needing to be acknowledged, and, if I don’t, I’m not the obliging Southern lady I should be. I’m not Scarlett O’Hara.

So, yeah, Rhett Butler was a jerk who forced himself on Scarlett O’Hara. Just check out this scene. He brings her back that bonnet from Paris, and, then, immediately comments on her underwear. Gross. And he’s just the beginning. Southern street harassment is born out of the notion of Southern manners, but, overall, it’s the same old misogyny. It’s just dressed up in a waistcoat.

 Taylor Brannan is a University of Mary Washington alumna

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Street Harassment Snapshot, abbreviated Dec. 28, 2010

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Because of the holidays, I didn’t do my normal Street Harassment Snapshot post on Sunday. This is an abbreviated one to highlight interesting street harassment news stories & blog posts from the past week or so.

Image from The Good Men Project

If there are any I missed, please add them to the comments.

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Cat-Calling and Rape Culture Go Hand-in-Hand

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Cross-posted from Tales of the Pack

The other night I got into a debate with a well-meaning straight guy about why cat-calling sucks.  He seemed to agree that cat-calling isn’t nice, but he also suggested that it wasn’t a problem that had anything to do with men and power.

I disagree.  Catcalling is a way men inflict their will on women.  In this way, it goes hand in hand with rape culture.

Catcalling is a daily occurrence for me.  It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing (most often I leave the house in baggy jeans and a t-shirt), if I’ve got makeup on, if I’m sick or whatever.  I can tell you, every single time, it’s unwanted attention.  Days that I go without getting elevator eyes with smooching sounds, or a ‘hey baby, hey baby’ are really awesome days in my book.

As Ndidi Oriji at the always-splendid Racialicious wrote:

I didn’t need you to turn my morning into one long defense of my humanity. I didn’t need you to add to the “gauntlet” that I already had to walk to get to the train station.

There are men who insist that catcalls are “flattering.”  No doubt there are women who are complicit in this too.  Men often use this as an excuse that because some women enjoy it, that I, a completely different woman with a different set of tastes and standards, should appreciate it too.  This is, of course, a warped and idiotic logic that is based on the understanding that I, in my possession of XX chromosomes, must be a part of the hivemind of womanhood that kowtows to male standards of behavior.   Because. . .

Rape culture demands that women are sexually subservient. We must behave in a pre-programmed way to any and all attention we get on the street from greasy strangers.  Hence the perennial street-harasser’s favorite: “Smile, honey!  You have such a pretty smile.”

There are variations on the catcalls, too.  Sometimes they do try to express genuine interest, as when I was leaving my office at the Gay & Lesbian Center and a particularly filthy man, along with two friends who were sitting on the curb drinking 40s out of paper bags, suggested that “Girl, you are the kind of woman I go for.”  When I retorted that “That’s a problem, cause I don’t go for men at all,” all three men got angry and one snarked something about an ex-girlfriend.  Unfortunately, I had walked too far by that point to hear what, exactly, she and I had in common.  From the outset, it was a relative innocuous statement.  The problem is that when I dared open my mouth in response, he and his buddies got defensive.

Catcalling is a way of removing a woman’s voice.  How many times have you witnessed/experienced/heard about a woman responding to a catcall with a loud “fuck off” which only encouraged the man to follow/harass/chase her?   In my world “fuck off” means “no.”  But in the world of cat-calling, “fuck off” means intimidate, harass, or yell louder.

As Starling wrote in the now-internet-famous essay Schrodinger’s Rapist:

A man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.

If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.

Catcalling is part of rape culture.  It declares that the catcaller has more rights than recipient of said harassment.  It tells her that her voice is irrelevant and that she should just grin and bear it.  It tells her that she should take it as a compliment and if she doesn’t, it’s her that’s broken.  Pardon me, well-meaning straight guy who doesn’t see catcalling as part of rape culture, but doesn’t this sound familiar?

– Allison Moon

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