Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Another death from street harassment

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streetharassmentdeathI just read this – a young woman in Washington, DC, was killed two months ago after turning down the flirtatious advances of a young man passing by her house.

“Stanton was eating a hamburger her mother had made her Thursday night when Jones approached her and demanded she make him a hamburger, according to court documents. Stanton refused. Jones then approached the mother, again demanding a hamburger, said the records. Stanton’s mother also refused, saying “I don’t cook food for people I don’t know”, court records indicated.

Jones became angry, according to a witness, made a telephone call and left the area, according to court documents. A second witness told investigators that Jones returned and opened fire on Stanton’s apartment. The bullets passed through the front door, striking Stanton several times.

She was taken to a local hospital where she was pronounced dead. Her mother was shot in the foot and survived.”

Also from the article:

“Some women say neighborhood men can be overly aggressive.

“You never know. Well if I say no, is he going to do this or do that?…it’s just hard,” said Tia Terrell.

“I’ve had men approach me, and I turn my back, they throw rocks and stuff,” said Renay Smith. “That’s crazy. We don’t want to talk to you, just leave us alone.”

This points out what is so very scary about street harassment – a woman never knows how the man will react. Will he escalate his harassment if she ignores him, if she turns him down, if she calls him out, if she yells at him? It leaves us guessing and unsure how to react.

🙁 I can’t believe another young woman is dead over this crap. I think this is the third death connected to street harassment that I’ve heard about in less than a year.

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Privilege and Street Harassment

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Yesterday I went for a run after work in downtown Washington, DC. As I left my office, I had a feeling that I was going to get street harassed and so as I ran, I thought up things I could say when it happened (despite all my work on street harassment, I have yet to do anything more revolutionary at the time of harassment than ignore or glare at them). And I was right, I got harassed.

As I ran down the dirt path of the mall, a man who was walking in the same direction I was running turned around, saw me, waited until I was next to him, and then went “mm-mm-mm” at me as I ran by. It wasn’t the worst harassment I’ve had by a long shot but it is humiliating to be treated like I’m not a person to respect but one to objectify and infuriating knowing that if I had been a man, I could have done my run in peace.

Instead of saying something though, my immediate thought was about how if this were a few decades ago, he could have been attacked, jailed, or lynched for just looking at me for a second too long because he is black and I am white. The high number of lynchings has particularly been on my mind after recently reading: Freedom’s Daughters: The Unsung Heroines of the Civil Rights movement from 1830 to 1970.

So I didn’t say anything to him because I felt my race privilege – yes we will have a black president but racism isn’t over! – and the shameful history of race/gender/violence in American and I kept on running. (Though given my track record of not ever saying anything, I may have done that had he been a man of any race).

Similarly, sometimes I don’t feel it would be fair to call out a harasser who is clearly of a lower socioeconomic status than myself. I immediately think about my privilege of class (and race if both come into play) and I can’t bring myself to call them out for exerting their gender privilege. Does one privilege trump another? Should I just call out all men on their behavior?

What are your thoughts?

(Note: I don’t think one race harasses women more than another. In particular, given how often black men have been falsely portrayed as preying on white women to justify murdering, assaulting, and discriminating against them by white people, I don’t want to perpetuate that in any way… The most offensive street harassment comments I’ve received were from groups of white young men and the scariest experiences occurred when various white men followed me either on foot (2xs) or in their car (1x). Oh and yesterday I got leered at by an older white man on the metro on my ride home from work/running. He finally looked and turned away when I met his stare and I was determined to say something if he turned around to look at me again but he didn’t.)

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Men can stop street harassment

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Street harassment and rape are related in many ways. For example, a fear that street harassment will escalate into a rape attempt is not an uncommon reaction for many women (especially when the harassment takes the form of stalking, physical contact, and sexually violent language).

Like rape, street harassment isn’t going to end until men – the majority of the perpetrators – work to end it. The fact is, women can take every precaution told to them (which limits their freedom and sense of safety) and some of them will still be raped or street harassed. The answer is for men to stop their behavior.

Women can help educate men to stop and can make men’s actions have consequences by reporting them, calling them out on their actions, and intervening when other women are harassed, etc. But ultimately, we can only accomplish so much without men’s cooperation and participation. I know that most men don’t engage in street harassment, just like most men don’t rape, but all men need to hold each other accountable for that kind of behavior and help make it socially unacceptable.

I just came across a “Ten things men can do to stop rape” list issued by Kansas State University and I’m adapting several of their suggestions to address ways men can stop street harassment:

Things that Men Can Do

  1. Be Aware of Language. Words often demean or put down women. Avoid using words like bitch, whore, ditz, bimbo, and ho and language that reduces women to their body parts. That language sends a negative message about females that devalues them. Seeing them in such a light makes it easier to treat them disrespectfully or to view them as stupid or to only value them in a sexual way.
  2. Speak Up. If your friends are engaging in behavior that is making women uncomfortable or that is clearly inappropriate, don’t participate, don’t encourage them, and tell them to stop. When you see street harassment occurring, intervene and help end the incident. You may not always see street harassment occurring but you will likely hear jokes and language that is inappropriate, makes light of rape or the harassment of women, or degrades women. When that happens, don’t laugh, don’t encourage the speaker, and tell him or her to stop.
  3. Support Survivors of Street Harassment. Street harassment will not be taken seriously until everyone understands how common it is and stops blaming women for its occurrence. In the U.S. alone, millions of women are harassed each year. By learning to sensitively support women who experience and report street harassment, men can help individuals feel more comfortable about coming forward and talking about what has happened to them (and may be happening to them quite regularly) and the impact street harassment has on their lives and well being.
  4. Talk with Women. Listen to women’s stories to learn how street harassment & the fear of rape affects their daily lives. Try to understand how it feels to be harassed or “complimented” over and over by random men. Conceptualize what it’s like to go in public and get followed or touched by a man or group of men after having been told since a young age that women are at risk of rape by strangers.
  5. Talk with Men. Talk about what it is like to be viewed as a potential harasser or rapist. Talk about how they would feel if a woman they loved was harassed on the street or in other public places. Talk about appropriate ways to express an interest in a woman you see in public.
  6. Contribute Your Time and Money. Join or donate to an organization working to prevent street harassment, like Right Rides in NYC.
  7. Work against ALL oppression. The harassment of women feeds off of all forms of prejudice including racism and homophobia. By speaking out against behaviors that promote one group as being superior to another, you support everyone’s equality.
  8. Don’t do it. Don’t ever harass a woman or do anything that may make her feel demeaned, uncomfortable, scared, or angry. If you are in doubt about a comment or action, just don’t do it. Act respectfully toward anyone you encounter.

Do you have other suggestions?

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Street Harassment: 1880s vs 2008

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I just read “Going Public: Shopping, Street Harassment, and Streetwalking in Late Victorian London” (thanks Emily!) and what I’m most struck by is how some of the arguments around street harassment are pretty much the same 130 years later.

In part, the article looks at how more middle class women and girls were entering public arenas in the late 1880s, specifically to do shopping and to go to tearooms and they were outraged over being treated like “streetwalkers” by unknown men.

Some of the newspaper editorials cited in the article about this occurrence echo today’s blogs and the comments sections of online articles about street harassment. I’ve come across dozens of modern day examples during my research, but here are a few:

1. Women say they were harassed despite being dressed respectably/modestly:

1880s England: In letters to a newspaper which were excerpted in a column headed “How Ladies Are Annoyed in London Streets,” women usually described themselves as innocent victims of street annoyances who were respectably dressed, walking or traveling in broad daylight, and who weren’t attempting to attract notice. (Victorian London article page 10).

2008 USA: “I have been followed and shouted at while wearing loose capris and t-shirt. The outfit was in no way skanky or revealing but even [if] it was that doesn’t give someone the right to harass and threaten me.” (comment from a CNN online article from 2008)

2008 England: “I echo the sentiments saying that what one’s wearing etc is irrelevant. My breasts are not big. I will not necessarily be wearing revealing clothes when I get comments. I am not especially attractive or especially ugly. But I have had comments, been followed home, been whistled, been groped, and been punched (no reason, no dialogue, the guy was walking past and just punched me in the chest).” (comment on the F-word Blog about street harassment)

2008 England: “I wore a wonder bra ONCE when I was a naive 15 year old and decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle. So I went back to my ‘modest’ clothes, not because I’m ashamed of my body but because they’re more comfortable and more me. This hasn’t stopped the perverts though.” (comment on the F-word Blog about street harassment)

2006 India: Blank Noise conducted a project where they collected hundreds of clothes women had been harassed in to show that women are harassed in anything and everything

2. Men blame women’s appearance/clothing for their harassment:

1880s England: “What can women who ‘dress themselves up’ with ‘false bottoms and stays – and other erotic adornments’ expect? If women ‘really do wish to be left alone,’ they should dress to be ‘plain and unappetizing and avoid the haunts of men.'” (from a newspaper letter from 1887 cited on p 6 of the Victorian London article).

2008 USA: “Whenever a woman dresses in a skanky way… she will receive more attention whether she wants it or not. Not saying they are a “ho”… but they are wearing a “ho’s” uniform, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise.” (comment from a CNN online article from 2008)

2008 USA: “Word of advice, look in the mirror…if you are dressed like a hoochie (tight jeans, short skirt, see through or low cut shirt etc) you can expect more catcalls. It’s not rocket science. And for you ladies out there who look hot in sweats, you’ll receive them no matter what. For the record, any physical harassment is totally wrong, but hollering at a woman walking down the street? Come on!! What do you expect dressed like that?” (comment from a CNN online article from 2008)

2008 England: “What comes first – the stare or the wonder bra/low cut top? I find wolf whistling as boorish as you but to not recognise a 2 way street is just as sexist.” (comment on a Guardian online article from 2008)

So there continues to be a major focus on women’s appearance and clothing. Then and today, some men think a woman who looks – to them – like she is seeking sexual attention from men through flashy or revealing clothing deserve any interactions – negative or positive – men bestow on her. Many women argue that it doesn’t matter what they wear or what they look like or how respectable/modest they appear, they still get harassed.

So what do we do about this obvious disconnect? There’s clearly more going on than just “skanky” women getting catcalled. And why should men be allowed to comment on, yell at, touch, follow, and assault any woman they want just because the men think that’s what the women want based on what they look like… Ugh I could go on for a while discrediting the comments of these men, but i’ll save that for my potential book 🙂 and to anyone who wants to take a shot in the comments.

A few other points in the article definitely echo today, for example, the lack of concern by police officers when women report street harassment, how the definition of street harassment varies among women, and the desire of women disgruntled by street harassment to distinguish themselves from women with so-called lower morales than them. There aren’t a lot of studies out there on street harassment and this article is definitely worth the read if you’re interested in the topic.

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Street harassment flashback shocks me

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On the Shakesville blog, people are answering the question: “In what ways has the idea of sexual assault and/or street harassment affected your daily movements?” The question was posed on Saturday and already there are over 400 responses. Since this is exactly one of the topics I want to discuss in a book I plan to write on street harassment, I was thrilled and I have been eagerly reading through the posts. It never ceases to amaze me how much our lives are impacted by street harassment.

I was part-way through reading a post by FriedaK about getting followed by a guy in a car as she walked home from a night shift at work when I had a flashback to a street harassment incident I had completely forgotten about. Over a year ago when I first began researching street harassment, I wrote down all of the “major” incidents I could recall but I didn’t remember this one.

In this incident I was either 14 or 15 years old and I was running a 6 mile loop through the streets near my house in Pacific Palisades, CA. I think it was a Saturday morning. I ran up Sunset Blvd and then cut up into a very affluent neighborhood because they had a large hill I liked running up. I’d run this route many times.  This day, I was part-way up the hill (and about 2.25 miles into my run) when a man in a car started driving slowly beside me. My heart quickened but I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was probably looking for a certain house, etc. Still, I increased my pace.

I ran about another 3/4th of a mile with him still beside me and I was getting more nervous each second. There was no one on the street and most of the houses had big security gates and looked very intimidating and I didn’t really see running up to one of them for help as a viable solution. By that point, he’d been beside me long enough that I worried that he was up to no good. I was too freaked out to look at him and so I just pretended I didn’t notice him and wasn’t bothered. I reached the peak of the hill and as soon as I saw a side street, I sprinted down it and kept going full speed, weaving in and out of side streets until I reached Sunset Boulevard, a well populated street.

I didn’t see him again during the run but I was really shook up. I’d been running alone for a few years at that point and I had generally always felt safe (though not enough to run at night) and it was a big shock to not feel safe anymore. My mom bought mace for me to carry around that time and I can’t remember if it was in response to that incident or not.

Compared to so many women whose stories I’ve read, this incident is nothing. I wasn’t assaulted, raped, attacked, nor did I even have anything offensive or threatening yelled at me. He may not have been following me at all. I will never know. But I do know it was very real to me at the time and in the few minutes since I remembered it happening, I have felt shaky and scared just thinking about it. It’s surprises me that I forgot about this incident and that remembering it has upset me so much.

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