Guest Blog Post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2015

About seven months ago, one afternoon I was walking out of a class I taught with enthusiasm and full of energy and headed home. On the way, I decided to stop by a super market to purchase somethings I needed.

When I exited the store, I saw a big car with black windows parked near the entry door of the market. There were two men inside the car. They immediately began inviting me to their car and calling me names. I ignored them. I looked down and continued walking home, but before I knew it I noticed one of the men in front of me with his arms wide open as if he wanted to embrace me. I said something loudly because I was terrified. He moved out of my way and I kept walking. I then noticed two guards standing in front of a building very close to the market. I asked them why they hadn’t done anything to protect me and one of them said abruptly, “we are here to guard this office. Defending women and girls is not our job.”

I was debating with the guards when I found the black car near me once again. This time, they began saying obscene things to me. I got really angry and asked them, “are your sisters and mothers prostitutes that you assume all women are?”

One of the men got really enraged and got out of the car. He ran towards me and began slapping my face. Soon, he was hitting me everywhere and kicking me. I had not imagined this would ever happen so I didn’t know what to do. I began screaming in the hopes of God or one of His followers helping me. The most shocking thing was the fact that both guards were still watching in silence. My screams brought a crowd of men and women around. People came of their houses and offices and began to watch me being beaten. The enraged man did not stop at hitting me. He ran back to his car and brought a big gun out with him. He looked at me and said, “I will fill you with lead.”

He loaded the gun, but his friend attempted to calm him down and ultimately stopped him from firing.

After that, they both got inside the car and left the area while yelling obscenities at me. The crowd was still watching me. Some people looked at me with pity while others with hatred and blamed, but they all had thousands of questions. Some asked me who the men where, what they wanted from me and whether I knew them. The same people who moments ago were quiet as rocks had somehow regained their voice and were questioning me. I do not remember what I told them. I just wished I could erase this day from my memory.

By Azada Faqiri, cross-posted from Dukhtarane Rabia (Daughters of Rabia): A blog on social justice in Afghanistan

Poster text: I screamed with all my might so that of God or one of His followers might help me. But everyone just kept watching.

Guest Blog Post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2015

When I speak about street harassment, I notice the ears of men go red. I wish it was out of shame or fear of it. Women face many different kinds of harassment and abuse in our society: physical, sexual and or mental.

I have often thought about how mental abuse and harassment can be one of the worse methods of marginalizing women. This kind of harassment cannot be seen and pointed to, but it can leave a lasting impact on people’s emotional and mental health. Unfortunately, I have also noticed that most women tolerate this kind of abuse in silence for many difference reasons. One of the reasons may be that they feel standing up to defend themselves is not effective. Especially in Afghanistan where religion and traditions have been mixed and hard to distinguish from one another, it is hard to prove to men that their behavior and the harassment they perpetuate is unjustified. In addition, these men have access to many different weapons to justify their behavior and silence anyone who objects. When it comes to shutting women up, the most efficient weapon has been character assassination.

Opinionated and educated women are more likely to be hunted down by this weapon because they are viewed as a threat to patriarchy. The men who attack these women know very well that if a woman is known as being promiscuously or immoral, it is nearly impossible for her to free herself of that label. Therefore, it is not a coincidence that usually women are attacked when they disobey the laws of our patriarchal society and stop bowing their head to misogynistic systems and structures. When women don’t submit to men’s power and desires, take ownership of their own bodies, view themselves as more than commodities and things or speak up using logic, their character is immediately assassinated.

The literature of this form of terror is simple, but specific. It is enough to call a woman certain things over and over at different settings and venues in order for her to be delegitimized. These words include but are not limited to promiscuous, immoral, prostitute, whore, infidel, man-hatter, angry, bitch…. Isn’t it fascinating that there are no male equivalents for the words bitch, whore, slut…?

If one tries to fight harassment by talking to misogynists as two fully developed human beings who are deserving of equal rights, if one decides to respect oneself and not give into this myth of female inferiority, one is immediately labeled shameless. If one uses logic, she is called infidel. If one points out to inappropriate behavior by men, she is called a man-hater.

Standing strong despite the devastating effects of these words is not easy, especially if a woman wants to have some public approval and impact. These words cause long term emotional and mental issues. They destroy women’s confidence and exhaust them. They break women’s spirits and tear them to pieces. Perhaps that is why one should learn how to gather one’s pieces and stand against the angry wave of misogyny.

By Farima Nawabi, cross-posted from the Dukhtarane Rabia (Daughters of Rabia): A blog on social justice in Afghanistan

Poster text: In our society, if a woman is known as being promiscuously or immoral, it is nearly impossible for her to free herself of that label.

Guest Blog Post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2015

A few days ago, I watched a man, who was about 20 years old, pinch a 10-year old girl’s bottom in public. When I defended her, the man looked at me and said, “Shut up, bitch.”

One fight got loud and passersby noticed, but what was surprising was that they were looking at me and the young girl with hatred and disbelief. As usual, in their eyes, it was the women who were at fault, not the perpetrator of this ugly act. Every day, through their words and actions, people tell women to be ashamed of themselves while their violators walk away with pride. Women must keep silent to remain dignified. To be respected, we must be silent. Is there anything that could take a man’s dignity and respect way?

When we read news, we all speak against the sexual assault of young girls, but is there a big difference between the violation of girls’ and women’s bodies in their homes versus when it is done in public on a daily basis? What makes one worthy of our condemnation and another our protection? Isn’t it that we tell women who have been raped to be silent as we do with women who are harassed? The harassment of women in public spaces is a manifestation of rape culture and a serious issue. It is true that street harassment is much more common, but this is no reason to think it is “natural” and “justified.” To end street harassment, we need to support women who are harassed- not silence them or shame them.

Our streets are not safe for women and this is a problem. It prevents girls from going to school, women from going to stores, and all from being independent human beings. Street harassment prevents women from working and becoming economically self-reliant. But most importantly, it makes women’s bodies public property- not their own. If something is deemed public, it will be abused and raped. We must fight this mindset. We must fight street harassment so that women are the owners of their own bodies and the sole decision makers for them. We must realize that existing in public does not make women’s bodies’ public property. Just like men, women can exist in public spaces while owning their bodies. We must recognize that women own their bodies and no one has the right to touch their bodies or talk about it without their permission.

By Hadisa Osmani, Dukhtarane Rabia (Daughters of Rabia): A blog on social justice in Afghanistan

Poster text: They say women should remain silent to remain dignified. Is there anything that could take a man’s dignity and respect away?

Guest Blog Post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2015

Being harassed in public is a type of humiliation most women are familiar with. Many have felt the weight of its trauma on their shoulders every day. All the while, the majority of men are unaware of the social, mental and physical impact of street harassment on women.

For many, being harassed is so belittling that they don’t dare talk about it fearing being blamed for it. Many women in Afghanistan don’t speak because they are afraid they will lose the few freedoms they have if they admit to the existence of this issue. This is not a rare occurrence.

Here, in Afghanistan, especially in big cities, the vast majority of women face verbal and physical harassment. No group of women- old, young, hejabed, non-hejabed, burqa-wearing, student, teenaged- are spared. Few women don’t carry the invisible wounds of trauma that harassment has inflicted upon them.

I too am one of the millions of women around the world who has had scary experiences with harassment. They hurt my spirit and torture me and I can’t forget them.

One of the freshest wounds is from a few days ago. A friend and I were walking home from the university and busy discussing our lessons. We were so warmed up that, unlike usual, we did not notice the lustful looks and comments of the men around us.

Suddenly, someone forcefully hit my friend’s leg. She screamed and hit the attacker with her books. We realized he was an old man. We were both shocked and scared. My entire body was shaking. I didn’t know what to say. My friend’s screaming gathered a crowd around us. She was angry, shaking and cursing. I held her hand and pulled her away from the crowd. One of the men had begun hitting the man who touched my friend.

Startled, we had forgotten what we were talking about. We were close to bursting into tears for being belittled publicly. I felt tiny. My friend looked at me and said, “This is Afghanistan. You can’t expect more than this.”

I didn’t know where to dump the flood of pain I felt as a woman who has been denied the bare minimum safety to go to school. How could I become a shoulder for my friend and relief her pain? I looked ahead and stared at the cloud that was swallowing the sun. I held my friend’s hand harder. We walked home in silence with the weight of hatred pulling us to the ground.

I felt terrible. All night I thought about what happened. The more I thought, the more it made me sick to my stomach because this wasn’t the first time I had witnessed, experienced or heard about street harassment.

One after another, my experiences populated by mind. I remembered every detail. I could not forget.

Deh Afghanan Bazaar, crowded streets and the man who had forcefully pushed his body against a young girl’s and then ran away. The girl had run behind him, screaming, cursing.

I had just hit puberty. I did not understand all this, but slowly I had begun to hear words of caution from older girls at school.

“When you go to bazaar walk when one hand in front of you and another in the back so that no one can touch you,” they said. I had gotten confused and terrified. Until I finished school, I had been fearful of crowded spaces and tried to avoid them.

I remember my friend’s tearful eyes who told me of the fear she felt when a man on a motorcycle had stopped her and pulled her scarf away from her head. She was swallowing her tears as she spoke.

I know a taxi driver who tried to abduct a female university student and drove through a crowded street full of cars.

I remember the day one of my female students came to class angry. She hit her books against the desk and cursed “all those who can’t shut their mouths.” She had asked her harassers if they didn’t have mothers or sisters of their own that they were harassing someone else’s sister and mother. They had told her they had mothers and sisters. Not wives.

Her pride was hurt, but perhaps in this world pride is a privilege we only allow for men.

I cannot forget the faces, whistles and words of my fellow university classmates at the academic setting of the university, where we are all supposed to be safe.

I cannot forget these memories. Many people don’t know that it is not just suicide attacks that cause mental issues in our societies. Lack of security, fear that someone will touch and violate your body, or verbally harass you can also cause you mental unrest and pain.

….but forgetting these stories is the only option. In this world, where many fathers don’t see their daughters as humans and brothers their sisters, what can one expect of strangers.

Poster text: All women have the right to exit their homes without fear. Nothing justifies street harassment. 

Wahida Mehrpoor, Dukhtarane Rabia (Daughters of Rabia): A blog on social justice in Afghanistan