Guest Blog Post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2015

About seven months ago, one afternoon I was walking out of a class I taught with enthusiasm and full of energy and headed home. On the way, I decided to stop by a super market to purchase somethings I needed.

When I exited the store, I saw a big car with black windows parked near the entry door of the market. There were two men inside the car. They immediately began inviting me to their car and calling me names. I ignored them. I looked down and continued walking home, but before I knew it I noticed one of the men in front of me with his arms wide open as if he wanted to embrace me. I said something loudly because I was terrified. He moved out of my way and I kept walking. I then noticed two guards standing in front of a building very close to the market. I asked them why they hadn’t done anything to protect me and one of them said abruptly, “we are here to guard this office. Defending women and girls is not our job.”

I was debating with the guards when I found the black car near me once again. This time, they began saying obscene things to me. I got really angry and asked them, “are your sisters and mothers prostitutes that you assume all women are?”

One of the men got really enraged and got out of the car. He ran towards me and began slapping my face. Soon, he was hitting me everywhere and kicking me. I had not imagined this would ever happen so I didn’t know what to do. I began screaming in the hopes of God or one of His followers helping me. The most shocking thing was the fact that both guards were still watching in silence. My screams brought a crowd of men and women around. People came of their houses and offices and began to watch me being beaten. The enraged man did not stop at hitting me. He ran back to his car and brought a big gun out with him. He looked at me and said, “I will fill you with lead.”

He loaded the gun, but his friend attempted to calm him down and ultimately stopped him from firing.

After that, they both got inside the car and left the area while yelling obscenities at me. The crowd was still watching me. Some people looked at me with pity while others with hatred and blamed, but they all had thousands of questions. Some asked me who the men where, what they wanted from me and whether I knew them. The same people who moments ago were quiet as rocks had somehow regained their voice and were questioning me. I do not remember what I told them. I just wished I could erase this day from my memory.

By Azada Faqiri, cross-posted from Dukhtarane Rabia (Daughters of Rabia): A blog on social justice in Afghanistan

Poster text: I screamed with all my might so that of God or one of His followers might help me. But everyone just kept watching.

Guest Blog Post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2015

When I speak about street harassment, I notice the ears of men go red. I wish it was out of shame or fear of it. Women face many different kinds of harassment and abuse in our society: physical, sexual and or mental.

I have often thought about how mental abuse and harassment can be one of the worse methods of marginalizing women. This kind of harassment cannot be seen and pointed to, but it can leave a lasting impact on people’s emotional and mental health. Unfortunately, I have also noticed that most women tolerate this kind of abuse in silence for many difference reasons. One of the reasons may be that they feel standing up to defend themselves is not effective. Especially in Afghanistan where religion and traditions have been mixed and hard to distinguish from one another, it is hard to prove to men that their behavior and the harassment they perpetuate is unjustified. In addition, these men have access to many different weapons to justify their behavior and silence anyone who objects. When it comes to shutting women up, the most efficient weapon has been character assassination.

Opinionated and educated women are more likely to be hunted down by this weapon because they are viewed as a threat to patriarchy. The men who attack these women know very well that if a woman is known as being promiscuously or immoral, it is nearly impossible for her to free herself of that label. Therefore, it is not a coincidence that usually women are attacked when they disobey the laws of our patriarchal society and stop bowing their head to misogynistic systems and structures. When women don’t submit to men’s power and desires, take ownership of their own bodies, view themselves as more than commodities and things or speak up using logic, their character is immediately assassinated.

The literature of this form of terror is simple, but specific. It is enough to call a woman certain things over and over at different settings and venues in order for her to be delegitimized. These words include but are not limited to promiscuous, immoral, prostitute, whore, infidel, man-hatter, angry, bitch…. Isn’t it fascinating that there are no male equivalents for the words bitch, whore, slut…?

If one tries to fight harassment by talking to misogynists as two fully developed human beings who are deserving of equal rights, if one decides to respect oneself and not give into this myth of female inferiority, one is immediately labeled shameless. If one uses logic, she is called infidel. If one points out to inappropriate behavior by men, she is called a man-hater.

Standing strong despite the devastating effects of these words is not easy, especially if a woman wants to have some public approval and impact. These words cause long term emotional and mental issues. They destroy women’s confidence and exhaust them. They break women’s spirits and tear them to pieces. Perhaps that is why one should learn how to gather one’s pieces and stand against the angry wave of misogyny.

By Farima Nawabi, cross-posted from the Dukhtarane Rabia (Daughters of Rabia): A blog on social justice in Afghanistan

Poster text: In our society, if a woman is known as being promiscuously or immoral, it is nearly impossible for her to free herself of that label.

Guest Blog Post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2015

A few days ago, I watched a man, who was about 20 years old, pinch a 10-year old girl’s bottom in public. When I defended her, the man looked at me and said, “Shut up, bitch.”

One fight got loud and passersby noticed, but what was surprising was that they were looking at me and the young girl with hatred and disbelief. As usual, in their eyes, it was the women who were at fault, not the perpetrator of this ugly act. Every day, through their words and actions, people tell women to be ashamed of themselves while their violators walk away with pride. Women must keep silent to remain dignified. To be respected, we must be silent. Is there anything that could take a man’s dignity and respect way?

When we read news, we all speak against the sexual assault of young girls, but is there a big difference between the violation of girls’ and women’s bodies in their homes versus when it is done in public on a daily basis? What makes one worthy of our condemnation and another our protection? Isn’t it that we tell women who have been raped to be silent as we do with women who are harassed? The harassment of women in public spaces is a manifestation of rape culture and a serious issue. It is true that street harassment is much more common, but this is no reason to think it is “natural” and “justified.” To end street harassment, we need to support women who are harassed- not silence them or shame them.

Our streets are not safe for women and this is a problem. It prevents girls from going to school, women from going to stores, and all from being independent human beings. Street harassment prevents women from working and becoming economically self-reliant. But most importantly, it makes women’s bodies public property- not their own. If something is deemed public, it will be abused and raped. We must fight this mindset. We must fight street harassment so that women are the owners of their own bodies and the sole decision makers for them. We must realize that existing in public does not make women’s bodies’ public property. Just like men, women can exist in public spaces while owning their bodies. We must recognize that women own their bodies and no one has the right to touch their bodies or talk about it without their permission.

By Hadisa Osmani, Dukhtarane Rabia (Daughters of Rabia): A blog on social justice in Afghanistan

Poster text: They say women should remain silent to remain dignified. Is there anything that could take a man’s dignity and respect away?