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A male ally in New Delhi, India, speaks out – part 3

February 25, 2011 By Contributor

[Editor’s Note: This is part 3 in in a 3 part series. Here is part 1 and 2]

For Men:

Each time you don’t have to fight back the guys who harass women on the street or hit them with your cars. I agree what I did back them in the rain was reckless and some serious damage could have been done too. But is sitting quietly in your car with the windows rolled up and the stereo on load the answer to everything?

You don’t have to be super human to fight street harassment too. At times, a simple task like moving in front of the girl and shielding her from the view of those guys is also good enough. We don’t essentially need to pick up a fight each time some guy harasses someone on the street. At times, you could do what I did, go behind the counter and help someone throw groceries in the sack so she doesn’t need to bend down.

Little things, and little efforts at times go a long way in making a woman feel a little more secure. Men need to make a genuine effort to stop street harassment too. This is not a women’s only issue. This is an issue that needs collective effort by both men and women.

Please talk to the woman in front of you, not to her chest. We all understand that you’re fascinated by breasts, but that doesn’t mean you need to talk to a woman looking at her breasts. Check your own actions. Are you making someone feel uncomfortable? Are you standing too close to someone? Is your bag touching anyone while you’re on a public transport? Do some retrospection and decide for yourself how you can make woman feel more comfortable in the office, on the streets, in the markets, on the train, on the bus.

Don’t fight each time or raise a hue and cry each time you’re on the street and you see a women being harassed. We don’t really expect that from men either. That would never work. It would only lead to fights and then that would lead to more fights. But do move a little bit to the left, or to the right, or to the center, if moving a little bit helps a random woman on the train feel a little better from the roving eyes of some ogler.

Small things often go a long way in making someone feel nicer. So do it. Watch out for Street Harassment and devise your own little ways to combat it. We don’t need to fight a world war to solve this issue. Men all by themselves can solve this if they all come together and make a small effort, a small step at a time.

– Tbg

@TbgDgc

This post is part of the weekly blog series by male allies. We need men involved in the work to end the social acceptability of street harassment and to stop the practice, period. If you’d like to contribute to this weekly series, please contact me.

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Filed Under: male perspective, Stories Tagged With: eve teasing, male perspective, street harassment

A male ally in New Delhi, India, speaks out – part 2

February 24, 2011 By Contributor

[Editor’s Note: This is part 2 in in a 3 part series. Here is part 1 and you can read part 3 tomorrow]

Another incident. This happened on the train in New Delhi, India. This is a Metro train service within New Delhi region city limits, the same as the BART in San Francisco. I seldom travel on the train to anywhere, I really feel very uncomfortable in the crowds. I had some fever and cough the day before, and the cough medicine had made me really drowsy, so I thought it best not to drive myself. That’s how I ended up in the train. After a full day at work, I was really tired and anxious to get home.

Luckily, I got a seat. Which was really good, because the Tylenol I took last was 8 hours ago and I needed another one soon. There’s a station in New Delhi which is called the Rajiv Chowk Metro station which is like the main station in New Delhi area. There are a lot of people who go through this station everyday and it’s a major junction to take trains to other parts of the city too. If you’re in a train that isn’t crowded, expect it to become very crowded at this station. And that was what happened. A lot of people got on the train. I was still sitting. There was this young lady standing close to where I was sitting. Usually I get up and offer my seat to just about anyone, but that point of time I was really feeling very beat with the fever. As the crowd increased, the girl moved closer and closer to where I was sitting. A middle aged guy carrying a laptop bag was standing very close to her. The lady was standing facing me looking out the window, and the guy was behind her. In a while I could very well make out that the guy was rubbing his crotch on the girl’s back, and the girl was becoming very uncomfortable. I could easily make out what he’s doing because I was sitting and could see his waist at eye level. I promptly got up and gave my seat to the young lady and stood facing the guy. I very politely asked him what he was doing, in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. I could not help but scream “Why were you standing that close to the girl?” I guess that was when some other people realized that the guy must have been doing something really bad and he was promptly handed over to the Metro Authorities at the next station. The girl did what girls should (recommended in Indian society) She vanished. I guess in the midst of all the commotion, she somehow got down the train and took another one or made her way out of the station and gotten home somehow.

You must understand how India works. If the guy had managed to catch a good look at her, he would have tried to keep a look out for her in the future. That would not have been a very good idea. I strongly feel it was a good idea for the girl to vanish in the midst of all the commotion.

Let’s have a brief look at the middle aged guy’s tryst with the law. The Metro authorities would have made him sit for a while. Some officer would have then tried to talk to him for a few moments. The guy would have pointed out that it was very crowded and it was impossible to stand without being really close to the girl. And the officer would have probably let him go or would have taken a few hundred rupees from him to let him go. And case closed. The next day, the middle aged guy would probably have been on another train somewhere in the city doing the same thing all over again.

Another time, it was raining, and this girl was sitting behind another guy on a motorcycle. The girls pants got wet in the rain and her thighs were very visible. These other two guys were constantly staring at her legs. The girl was becoming uncomfortable. The guy with the girl did try to ride away but the traffic in the market was dense and he couldn’t go anywhere quickly. I was in my car noticing all of this. As soon as the traffic opened in front of me, I swerved a little to the left, hit the two guys who were staring with my fender and raced away. Looking in my rear view mirror, I could see they fell down on the road.

The incident in the Super market is not a rare one. It happens everyday, all over the world. Girls wear short dresses or long dresses, they wear revealing clothes or are covered from head to toe, Men do stare. They ogle and they stare and they do no try to hide the mental undressing that they are doing in their mind too.

The incident in the fast food place is also not rare. It too, happens everyday. The incident in the Metro train is probably repeated thousands of times in every public transport all over the world too. And what would you do in the rains? What do you want women to do? Do you expect all of them to stay indoors or stop wearing light colored clothes?

[Come back tomorrow to read Part 3, with Tbg’s advice to men]

– Tbg

@TbgDgc

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Filed Under: male perspective, Stories Tagged With: eve teasing, India, male allies, street harassment, tbg

Street Harassment Snapshot: February 20, 2011

February 20, 2011 By HKearl

Read stories, news articles, blog posts, and tweets about street harassment from the past week and find relevant announcements and upcoming street harassment events.

Street Harassment Stories:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

You can read new street harassment stories on the Web from the past week at:

  • Stop Street Harassment Blog
  • HollaBack Atlanta
  • HollaBack Buenos Aires
  • HollaBack Chicago
  • HollaBack DC!
  • HollaBack France
  • HollaBack Israel
  • HollaBack London
  • HollaBack Mumbai
  • HollaBack NYC
  • HollaBack Portland
  • HollaBack SoCal

Street Harassment in the News, on the Blogs:

  • Deccan Herald, “‘There is no respect for women‘”
  • India Today, “Delhi: Man killed for shielding daughter from harassment“
  • Fox News, “Hollaback! at Harassment“
  • New American Media, “Letter From India: An “Eve-Teasing” Tragedy Stirs Outrage-and Shame“
  • After the harassment and sexual assault of CBS correspondent Lara Logan i Cairo became public, there were many articles and blog posts about street harassment in Egypt and beyond
    • Stop Street Harassment, “Street harassment in Egypt and Lara Logan“
    • Ms. Magazine, “Lara Logan and Egypt’s Next Revolution“
    • CNN, “Egypt’s harassed women need their own revolution“
    • Washington Post, “What happened to Logan was unacceptable“
    • The Daily Beast, “Egypt’s Women Rally Behind Lara Logan“
    • Guardian, “Adding insult to Lara Logan’s injury“
    • The Boston Globe, “No rights for women, no freedom in a nation“
    • Women’s E News, “Logan Attack Doesn’t Brand the Entire Middle East“
    • NPR, “Why Have many Comments About The Attack on Lara Logan Been Removed?“
    • Washington Post, “Egyptian women’s issues highlighted by Logan case“
    • HR Reality Check, “Women’s Human Rights in Egypt: Cautious Optimism and the Way Forward“
    • The Atlantic, “Street Harassment is Everywhere“
    • Huffington Post, “Egypt’s Ongoing Problem with Sexual Harassment“
    • Slate, “Why Lara Logan’s Sexual Assault is Demoralizing for Egyptian Women“
    • All Headline News, “CBS correspondent latest victim of sexual harassment, assault in Egypt“
  • The Times of India, “Eve-teasers thrash bus driver, conductor“
  • Washington City Paper, “The Needle: Valentine’s Play Edition“
  • Clutch Magazine, “Next Time a Street Harasser Bothers You, Hit Him With This“
  • FreshOutlook, “Street Harassment in the UK“
  • Herald Scotland, “Cat Steward on…hollaback, girls“
  • Ms Magazine, “At Last, SoCal Women Can Holla Back“
  • Next Magazine, “Under Siege Under Ground“

Events:

  • Feb. 24: Stop Street Harassment Book Talk, James Madison University (VA), 6:30 p.m., Miller 1101
  • Feb. 26: HollaBack Atlanta’s launch party
  • Feb. 26: BLANK_NOISE’s #actionheroes college network meeting in Bangalore, India
  • March 10: Town Hall & Community Forum on Mass Transit, NYC, 6 p.m.

Announcements:

New:

  • If you’re in London, submit street harassment stories for inclusion in the publication Langdon Oglar
  • Participate in a new study for Dr. Kimberly Fairchild
  • Check out the Catcaller Form by The Riot
  • htownhollaback Remember, we’re giving away a copy of @hkearl ‘s book “Stop Street Harassment” once the Facebook [group] hits 50 members! http://tinyurl.com/4n25j2h

On-going:

  • Have an encounter with gender-based violence on NYC mass transit to share? http://tinyurl.com/transitstory (via RightRides)
  • If you live in Washington, DC, take a street harassment survey for HollaBack DC!
  • If you’re a queer woman of color in New York City, please take this survey about your street harassment experiences for Kimberlynn Acevedo’s work on the topic
  • Are you in Egypt? Use HarassMap to report your street harassers
  • Have an iPhone? Download the Hollaback iPhone app that lets you report street harassers

10 Tweets from the Week:

  • kintoall I’m a bit concerned about the hooplah re-abuses of Muslim women & on street harassment. Come to the USA, & you will see the same. sorry2say
  • SarahDobbs Oh, good, street harassment. I thought this day wasn’t going shittily enough.
  • HitchDied Nice weather doesn’t make me hate running any less. Street harassment makes me hate it much, much more.
  • femmeniste “Damn girl. Mmmm.” Oh, great… looks like #StreetHarassment season came early. #Gross #NYC
  • natalieraymond I’d almost forgotten how much worse street harassment gets as soon as the big puffy coats come off.
  • Muhammad_J http://bit.ly/fI4yKT ‘Up to 100% of American women suffer street harassment.’ So let’s not bash #Egypt Arab/Muslims for Logan’s ordeal.
  • SparkerPants I usually chase aftr thm, proposng marriage. RT @GuyKawasaki: A questionnre 4 men who catcall womn http://is.gd/a1VTsh
  • hollyface Wow, in a 10 minute walk I got sleazed on twice. Street harassment is NOT COOL!
  • Alyssa4602 The prevalence of sexual harassment and sexual assault in #Egypt is one of reasons a revolution was needed.
  • Cairo_On_a_Cone #thistimenextyear THERE WILL BE NO SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE STREETS OF #EGYPT #Jan25 #tahrir #womenrights
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Filed Under: Events, hollaback, News stories, Resources, Stories, street harassment, weekly round up Tagged With: Egypt, eve teasing, hollaback, Lara Logan, sexual harassment, street harassment

High Court in Bangladesh outlaws term “eve-teasing”

January 31, 2011 By HKearl

Using terms like “catcalls,” “wolf whistles,” and “eve-teasing” to describe street harassment negates the seriousness of the problem. The terms make the behavior seem funny and cute-sy. The terms make it easy for people to dismiss women’s complaints and to stand by as men continue to harass women. (And can you imagine a similar type of “funny” phraseology for racial harassment? Wouldn’t happen, hasn’t happened.)

I use these terms grudgingly, when I think I must because they’re what people understand or when I’m reporting on a source that’s used them.

So I’m overjoyed by the news that Bangladesh’s high court ordered that incidents of harassment have to be called sexual harassment, not eve-teasing.  (via Dawn.com):

“Bangladesh`s high court recently ruled [that] the term downplays the seriousness of such crimes. The court said this in response to a class action lawsuit filed by legal activists after a number of teenaged women committed suicide, reportedly due to stalking and harassment. Police would often dismiss such crimes as innocent mischief caused by young men.“

And here’s more via Sify.com:

“The court also ruled that stalking, either physically or electronically, must be considered sexual harassment.

From January to November 2010, 26 women and one father of a bullied girl committed suicide, and 10 men and two women were murdered after protesting against sexual harassment, according to a Bangladeshi rights group.

Since coming to power in December 2008 the Awami League government has launched a crackdown, including stationing undercover police in playgrounds to prevent young males from molesting female pupils.”

Nice work, Bangladeshi activists!

Now we need to get rid of the term “catcall” in the United States!!

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: Bangladesh high court, catcall, eve teasing, street harassment

Two eve-teasers arrested, and an eve-teaser murdered in India

January 19, 2011 By HKearl

I read two blog-worthy stories out of India today regarding eve-teasers (street harassers), the first entails police arresting two harassers, the second is about men murdering a chronic harasser (!).

1. From the Times of India:

“Two college students were arrested by the Gurgaon police on Monday for teasing two women passengers in an auto rickshaw…The victims were targeted by the accused while they were travelling in a pink auto, which is being run in the city exclusively for female passengers. Police said the incident took place in Sector 23 around 2 p.m. on January 13.”

Gurgaon is just outside of New Delhi and this arrest seems to be part of the increase in police vigilance to stop eve teasing in the Delhi area, an initiative that was announced at the beginning of this year. I suspect there will be many more stories like this one if the police continue to harshly punish harassers.

2. From Express Buzz:

“Eight persons were arrested for murdering a man who teased a woman at Kumaran Nagar on Sunday. Police said Prakash (35) alias MGR of Sridevi Nagar, Alapakkam, was at Vazhaithope Pagudhi, Kumaran Nagar near West Mambalam, playing cards with his friends Sakthi Saravanan and Babu when a 10-member gang led by Prabhakaran (30) stabbed Prakash and his friends. They were taken to hospital where Prakash died.

Prakash who lived at Vazhaithope Pagudhi 10 years ago used to play cards with his friends after getting drunk. They reportedly had a habit of teasing girls who passed by. Even though he shifted his house to another area, he kept on coming back to Vazhaithope to meet his friends and continued teasing girls.

This angered Prabhakaran, who lived in that area, and he  often picked up quarrels with Prakash. On Sunday, Prakash,  as usual, played cards with his friends and later teased a girl, a relative of Prabhakaran. She complained to Prabhakaran, who along with his brother Bhaskaran and eight friends murdered Prakash. Police arrested eight of them, including the brother and are on the look out for the other two.”

Woah. I’m all for bystander intervention, but not with force or violence unless it’s absolutely necessary. Certainly there are better ways to stop harassers than by murdering them (…right?).

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: eve teasing, Gurgaon, India eve teasing, Kumaran Nagar, murdering harasser, street harassment

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