Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

16 Days – Day 8: Don’t Touch Me!

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Each day across the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, we will highlight a 2018 activism effort undertaken to stop street harassment or a personal story about stopping harassers!

Day #8: Don’t Touch Me!!

After a man groped Emelia Holden in a restaurant in Georgia, she turned around, grabbed him by his collar and slammed him onto the counter shouting, “You don’t touch me motherf—!” It was all caught on video.

She said later, “I didn’t even think, I just reacted.”

She told a coworker to call the police and the man was arrested and charged with sexual battery.

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“Took the top off my coffee and threw the full thing in his face”

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After being harassed in the streets every day during my commute to work and over my lunch hour when I left the building to find food, I had had enough. A man on his bicycle waiting at the door of an apartment made the kissy sound, you know the one… it makes my skin crawl every time I hear it. I had just come from Starbucks and had a full coffee. I turned around and told him to f**k off, stop harassing women, I don’t want to hear any more of your bullshit opinions about my body.

He looked at me and smiled viciously, dramatically pursing his lips again and making the sound, he seemed excited for my angry reaction. I saw red, took the top off my coffee and threw the full thing in his face.

As I walked away he was screaming behind me, “You crazy, dumb bitch.” I kept walking as he was screaming, and everyone around me was laughing like it was hilarious. I hate my body sometimes, I hate being inside of it, I hate being SO AWARE of it all the time. I want to be left alone, I want to be able to get lunch in peace.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Laws must be made AND ENFORCED.

– Anonymous

Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas.

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“What could have been demoralizing turned out to be invigorating”

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One morning I was late to work and had to park far away as all the other employees had taken the nearest spaces. As I exited my vehicle, I noticed two white boys across the street, reminiscent of Beavis and Butthead. I knew they were going to say something.

The first time he said something, I didn’t understand it, so I asked him to repeat it.

“I wanna lick your poop chute” and then he did that thing with his tongue that the truck driver in “Thelma & Louise” did.

His cartoonish companion chuckled and maneuvered in a slightly menacing way to demonstrate that he had his bro’s back.

I’m not sure what overcame me, but I feel like my subconscious picked up on several clues that prompted me to take bold action. I noticed the landscaping of 10lb stones covering the ground around their feet. I noticed the sudden lack of traffic on the one way street between us. And I noticed their likely cowardice in the face of unexpected retribution.

Without saying anything, I marched across the street. His demeanor changed to recoil as he meekly inquired, “What are you doing?” I picked a choice stone from the ground, turned and heaved it in his direction, shot put-style. In my mind I thought if I hit him with this large rock, he’s especially dull, so I almost did care if I had, but he dodged it at the last second and took off running up the street yelling, “YOU’RE CRAZY!!”

I responded with, “Come back you coward! Come back and say something else to me!” But he was off to the races. It was funny how quickly he ran.

As I turned around, quite satisfied, to head back to work, I passed his male companion and hawked a loogie in his direction. Contorting his back, he dodged it. By the time I made it to my street a block away, Beavis was STILL running, nearly half a mile away.

This was risky in a lot of ways, I know. But my intuition led me in the right direction. It all happened so quickly and I left feeling quite powerful. Had I not responded in that way, I would have been bothered by it for the rest of the day. To my surprise, my coworkers were quite insightful about how I was bullied and how Beavis and Butthead were trying to intimidate me. Normally people don’t approve of women taking the offensive. What could have been demoralizing turned out to be invigorating.

– Sara F.

Location: Denver, CO

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“Never be ashamed or afraid.”

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Here in Pakistan, your clothing doesn’t make a difference at all. If the harasser wants to touch, comment or just “accidentally” collide your shoulder with his, he will do it.

I have learned that you should never ever let anybody go with out having the consequences. But when it’s for the very first time, you get a little shaky.. And I experienced it again today after quite a while.

At first I gave him the benefit of doubt, but to the point where the limit was crossed. I made a scene. I started shouting at the top of my lungs, and that person didn’t dare to look me in the eye. I was scared a little myself but didn’t show it, and most of all don’t expect people to help you.

You’re enough for yourself and that is that. Just take stand for your self once and afterwords it’s gonna be fine. Never be ashamed or afraid. You rule!

– Aliza Khan

Location: Pakistan

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“I’m going to continue to speak up “

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I live and work in Queen Anne, Seattle. Currently Seattle is exploding with construction, and I pass by MANY construction sites on my morning walk to work.

On one particular day, I crossed paths with a construction worker before he entered his office building. He suggestively said, “Hello”. (You know the tone. It wasn’t a polite “hello” to a passerby. I hadn’t even made eye contact with him. He just saw it as an opportunity to interject himself into the attention of a young, small girl, wearing a dress and walking to work alone.)

I had to do something about it. I stopped walking, asked him to repeat himself (which he did, even clarifying the creepy way in which he said “hello”), and I began to explain to him why what he just did wasn’t okay. Then, since we were conveniently right outside his office, I asked for a manager to be sent down.

Also conveniently, other construction workers were filing into the office around this time, so I asked several of them to send someone down (hoping to up my chances of one of them actually doing it). To my pleasant surprise, a project manager came outside with the man who’d harassed me. I explained again what happened and why it wasn’t okay, ending with the request that they think about their words and why they’re speaking them to women they don’t know on the street.

Then I was offered a half-hearted apology and walked away. Very doubtful that the manager reprimanded or talked to the employee further, I also sent an email to the Seattle branch president of this construction company, asking if their employees are trained on street harassment and explaining once more why this is an important issue.

I haven’t heard anything back, and doubt I will, but at least I’m trying? And I’m going to continue to speak up when things like this happens, unless I feel it would put me in danger of bodily harm- in which case, my plan is to get away and then send the cops to the location.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

1. Ask them to repeat themselves, hopefully embarrassing them and making them think twice.
2. Stop and demand a moment of their attention, since they’ve entitled them self to yours. Explain that you are a human being who deserves respect, not an object to be commented on.
3. Ask if they have a wife, mother, daughter, or niece and ask how they’d feel if someone did that to one of them. If they have a wife, also ask what she might think if she knew her husband was harassing women on the street.

– BW

Location: Near the corner of Republican and 2nd Ave W in Seattle outside the Lease Crutcher Lewis construction office

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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