I was taking the subway in the afternoon and everything was going well until I got off the wagon. I took the stairs and a man going in the opposite direction said to me, “Hey, chiquita!”

I was 17 and he was probably three times my age. That time was my first experience of harassment ever. I had seen other women harassed, I knew there was an issue, but it had never been directed at me.

At first, I thought he was talking to someone else. It couldn’t be me, I was way too young for that. But there was nobody else around me. I then went through several stages.

At first, I felt disgusted that a old man would make a sexual comment about me.

Then, I felt scared and ashamed. What if he followed me or worse?

When I arrived home, I began to feel angry. I was angry that he had made me feel ashamed of becoming a woman, I was angry that he had made me feel scared when I shouldn’t feel threatened, even when I am alone.

I was furious that with one small comment, he had succeeded in a way: I was changed.

I think the worst part in this sad, yet enlightening story, is that most people around me told me that it was nothing, that men are men, that nothing could be done and even, that I should have taken it as a compliment towards my femininity.

Maybe I’m wrong, but shouldn’t a compliment feel reassuring and not threatening?

– Romane

Location: Subway

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.