Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Miss D.C. speaks out

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Image via Miss DC

In follow-up to yesterday’s post, I was able to connect with Jen Corey, the current Miss D.C. She graciously agreed to answer a few questions for me about her experiences with street harassment to help raise awareness about this issue.

(And if you’re in the Washington, D.C. area, you can catch her tomorrow on NBC’s “Daily Connection” from 2-3 p.m. EDT. She will be speaking about her harassment experiences. UPDATE – awesome news clip from Miss D.C. from NBC and around minute 3:30 she mentions HollaBack DC! and Stop Street Harassment)

HK: How old were you when boys or men started harassing you in public places?

JC: I was probably about 12 or 13. I was very tall for my age (about 5’8″ in middle school) so men assumed I was much older. It actually happened in front of my mom frequently and she would have to step in and say something.

HK: About how often do men harass you in public places?

JC: Extremely often. I work in Georgetown so I would say most days of the week as I’m walking down the crowded streets for lunch, someone will say something or stop in front of me and look me up and down. I also take the metro every day so I get yelled at from cars while walking to and from the metro.

HK: What impact does street/public harassment have on your life?

JC: It’s been very upsetting. I had a traumatizing experience a few years ago in Adams Morgan. I was getting all of my girl friends into a cab in front of the McDonald’s. I was the last to get in and as I was standing there, a car full of men pulled up behind me and a large man reached out and slapped me so hard on my backside that I fell face first into the cab. My friends didn’t even realize what happened at first because it sounded like a car had run over a water bottle. The men just laughed and drove away while I stood in the street crying. There were officers on the side of the road, but they did nothing. My cab driver yelled at me to get into the cab so we could follow the car, but by then I was in pain and just wanted to go home. I had a bruise on my chin and a black and blue hand print on my backside for a week.

I refused to go back there for a long time. And when I first started going back I would demand to stay sober, thinking that I could “protect” the other girls I was with.

HK: Do you feel the harassment has changed since you became Miss DC? If so, how?

JC: I don’t think it’s changed because most of the time that it happens now, I am not wearing my crown and sash. It’s just as frequent. It happens when I’m all dressed up going to an event, or when I’m leaving the gym with my hair in a ponytail wearing sweats.

HK: Where do you draw the line regarding what you find to be acceptable and unacceptable interactions between strangers in public?

JC: I don’t want to be disrespected. More than anything, I don’t want to be touched. Don’t grab my hand when I walk by and ask me “where’s your smile?” Don’t walk past me, stop and look me up and down saying “daaammmnnnnn.” I don’t expect every guy to leave me alone when I’m out, and I don’t even mind cheesy pick up lines. I just want to be respected and I don’t think that it’s too much to ask.

HK: How do you usually respond to harassers and what response/s has/have been the most empowering for you?

CJ: Well I definitely don’t go around hitting them, although, this incident over the weekend was not the first time I had to. I used to ignore it, but now I assess the situation (and my potential risk of getting hurt) and act accordingly. Most of the time I get in their face (since I’m almost 6 feet tall, we look eye to eye) and say something like, “Did you really think that was going to work?” or “Don’t touch me. I’m bigger than you.” And I always tell another guy that I know or think I can trust near by about what happened. This way if the creep comes back, I have someone else backing me up.

HK: Do you have any suggestions for other women about how to deal with this kind of harassment?

CJ: Don’t ignore it. That’s the problem. Certain men do this because they think they can get away with it. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something yourself, then tell someone near by.

HK: Do you have any ideas or plans for addressing this issue in DC?

CJ: I will be going on NBC on Wednesday, May 26, to talk about the issue. If I can be a voice for other women who are fed up, then I will do whatever I can to make things right.

This is not OK or something we should ignore. Getting grabbed is NOT just something that’s part of the bar scene and should be accepted. I have every right, as an American, to go out and not be touched or hit.

I am so glad Jen is speaking out about this. All women should have the right to go places without experiencing unwanted touching and harassment from men. Find ideas for what you can do to help end this problem. And if you’re in the DC area, check out the anti-street harassment work of HollaBack DC! and Defend Yourself and how you can get involved.

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Harassment comes when you never expect it

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I get harassed so frequently walking down the major streets of Georgetown in DC (M Street, Wisconsin Avenue) that I started using the C&O Canal to get around during lunch breaks and to head home after work. It’s been a great relief from harassment for the most part, but when I have to cross over and pass M Street the same old mess happens!

I got off the canal at 32nd so I could pick up lunch from Booeymonger. As I crossed M Street, some old man leaned into my space and said “Your boyfriend’s a lucky man,” or some garbage that started with “Your boyfriend…”.

Most of the harassment stories I’ve submitted have involved men of my own race (black) harassing me in the most vulgar and obnoxious ways. I’m used to my being a minority making me invisible in mostly-white settings like Georgetown, so getting harassed by an older white man threw me off guard a little. I have been harassed by white men in the past, but it’s a rare experience. I didn’t have a comeback ready like I normally would’ve in any other situation.

“Uh, I don’t have a boyfriend,” I said, in a lame attempt to tell this guy off. “And it’s none of your damn business whether I do or not!” Of course, this old fool has a big old grin on his face, so my retort didn’t faze him.

I hate being thrown off guard like that. Harassment comes when you never expect it.

– Tired of Being Harassed

Location: M & 33rd Street, Georgetown, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“I’m not your babygirl!”

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It seems like the warm weather has brought these harassing-cretins out of hiding!

I was walking to pick up my lunch and I walk past this worker standing by a truck. This fool leans back on his truck and watches me walk! It was disgusting. He didn’t care that he was on the clock!

I decided to snap as many photos as possible—one of the “How’s my driving?” tracking number, one of his truck’s license plate, and another of him (and he actually posed for the photo—LOSER!).

And now that I know about the new YouTube channel, I decided to get a video of him as well.

The quality of the video’s not great and you can hear me more than you can hear him, but I pretty much tell him that what he did was tacky and that I was reporting him. He didn’t care! He said to go ahead and report him and he couldn’t stop smiling. Unbelievable. You can tell by my voice that I was incensed.

***

The second incident was after I picked up my lunch. I was heading back to work and this loser with three teeth in his mouth who was smoking a cigarette and walking his bike referred to me as “Babygirl” like it’s my damn name. When I told him “I’m not your babygirl!” he got aggressive.

“I don’t give a FUCK what your name is!” he snapped.
“And I don’t give a FUCK that you want to talk to me!” I snapped back.

I then decided to catch him on my cell phone with a video, and followed him as he continued to call me names and kept telling me to “go FUCK yourself! Fuck you, bitch!” People who watched this happening thought it was funny and laughed. Yeah, sure. It’s your entertainment but it’s my agony.

He then hops on his bike and rides off, with me yelling “Don’t worry, I got you on video!” Well, I had him on video. I pressed the “BACK” button on my phone instead of the “OK” button, which cancels the filming. So I erased that toothless harasser’s video, feeling completely stupid. The back-to-back harassment had me so riled up that I couldn’t think straight.

I’m shaking at my desk back at work as I type this, with no way to release the anger and stress I feel. (My co-workers are looking at me as if I’ve lost it. They don’t know what I constantly go through.)

I am tired of these men reducing me to an object to leer at. I’ve had it.

– Anonymous

Locations: Incident 1: Wisconsin Avenue, Washington, DC
Incident 2: Canal Street & Thomas Jefferson Street

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“Yes, you are my baby” Ew!

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Damn! This is my third harassment submission this week. The warmer weather has brought the fools out full force.

Right when I get off the bus to head to work this morning, this scrub leans into me and says “Good morning, baby.” I respond with “I’m not your baby!”

Then he says “Yes, you are my baby!” Ew!

Frustrated, I pull out my phone in an attempt to snap his photo, and he yells “Aw, shit!” and starts running, but not without yelling “Bye, bitch!” as he turns left off of M and onto Wisconsin Avenue, thinking he was going to get away.

“Ignorant!” I snapped. “I am not a bitch!”

Though I refused to run, I followed him. He continued running down Wisconsin, heading south towards K Street.

He makes a left turn into some alley, and unfortunately I lost him. I make a left turn into where I thought he went, which was near a place I believe was called the Georgetown Ministry. I believe this was a homeless shelter. I asked the people waiting in front of it if they’d seen him, giving a description of him (middle-aged Black male, average height, above-average build, wearing a red hockey jersey that said “blazers” in white on the back), but unfortunately they hadn’t.

“Are we supposed to be looking out for him?” one man asked. I didn’t know what to say.

“Uh, he’s just someone who’s no good,” I said. I thanked them and walked off.

I’m so upset right now I just don’t know what to do. I was originally upset that I wouldn’t have time to run for my morning coffee. Then I was upset that this idiot ruined my day by calling me his “baby” then calling me a “bitch.” I was also upset that I couldn’t get his photo and he got away with demeaning me. To top that off, I was late for work and my boss doesn’t like me, she being one who completely ignores me and looks at her feet anytime I come her way (even if I try to be pleasant and talk to her), and when she did that to me this morning, I nearly lost it.

I stopped talking to family and friends about my harassment because they tell me to “accept a compliment,” ignore them and not to react. They’re going to say “you shouldn’t have followed him” and stuff like that. How the hell are they going to tell me how to feel and react when they don’t go what I go through?

I feel that today’s harassment incident was a domino effect of negative events, and not a great way to start the beginning of what was such a warm and beautiful morning.

– anonymous

Location: Georgetown, Washington, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“That’s what I’m talking about”

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I was cutting through the courtyard of the building I work at this morning, and from the outdoor elevator tower I hear “Mmm-mmm-mmm!” and “That’s what I’m talking about.”

I look in the direction of where it was coming from and see an older man, old enough to be my father, peeking from one side of the tower, dressed in the blue uniform of the workers that service our building.

I look again and then he’s peeking from the other side of the tower. Then he says “Hello.” Instead of returning his “hello,” I called him “strange.”

Since I believe he’s one of the workers that do maintenance for my office building, I think he’d be fairly easy to track down and report. I hope so.

– anonymous

Location: Georgetown area, Washington, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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