You may remember that last summer, Michael W. Edwards of Maryland was accused of spraying semen from a bottle onto women’s backs in Giant grocery stores and Michael’s craft stores in Gaithersburg, Maryland. At the time, Edwards admitted to the grossness.

When I heard about it, I was not only disgusted by his actions, but I also was annoyed at the reporting. The Washington Post author of the article about it kept mentioning how “normal” Edwards is and how he attends church, etc.

Big whoop-dee-doo. Maybe the writer would feel differently had Edwards shooted semen on HIM at a grocery store.

Well, someone on Facebook gave me a tip that Edwards was recently sentenced to three years in jail for two counts of second-degree assault. But because he attends church and otherwise follows the law, his sentence was reduced to probation, no jail time. The only silver lining is that he has to see a therapist during probation.

Now maybe prison wouldn’t have solved anything either, but shouldn’t he have some other punishment? Especially since it sounds like it was a hate crime.

Edwards claims his “actions” were the result of “misplaced anger after breaking up with his girlfriend.” So because he was upset over a break up, he bottled up some of his semen and went looking for innocent women in stores to shoot it at. That’s a hate crime against women. And yet, again, he faces virtually no consequences.

So guys, go ahead and load up. It’s open season for shooting sperm at women. Well, as long as you attend church, have no prior criminal record, and have “misplaced anger” against women.