Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Don’t Grab An Ass Day!!

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HollaBack DC! alerted me to the Facebook event “Grab an Ass Day!” scheduled for tomorrow, Nov. 19.  I looked it up. There are over 20,000 confirmed guests and 4,000 more who are maybe’s. I also found a Facebook group called “National Grab Ass Days” with nearly 300 members.

I hope that the 20,000+ people who say they plan to grab an ass tomorrow are joking and won’t. Because, wow, how inappropriate, how illegal (in many contexts), and how upsetting to the person being grabbed if s/he did not explicitly give their consent.

Regularly reading stories from girls and women who have had traumatic experiences where random men grab their ass and other body parts while they’re in public, like on public transportation, makes me extra not okay with this event. Sure, if you’re among friends and everyone agrees (w/out peer pressure) to do this, whatever, it’s your life. But will people really seek consent before grabbing? And an event like this, portrayed in a light-hearted joking way, detracts from the seriousness of sexual assault and the way it negatively impacts people’s lives.

What would be better than Grab An Ass Day is a Don’t Grab An Ass  Day. Get a huge facebook group of people who vow NOT to grab an ass that day (unless they have consent) and raise awareness about the problem of  unwanted groping and other forms of sexual assault. Hell, why not take it a step further and get people to vow not to commit any form of sexual assault? That would really be a day I could get behind (lol).

(By the way, I posted a message on the Facebook event page saying I hoped people wouldn’t participate and it’s inappropriate etc and someone just sent me a message saying “grab an ass.” No thanks.)

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Dirty schoolboys

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When I was about 16, I was walking around the grounds outside my school and a younger boy (about 14) grabbed me between my legs and had a good feel. I was so ashamed that he’d found out I was having my period that I forgot to punch him in the face. I have never got over letting him get away with it and I never recognised him at school although I probably passed him many times.

– anonymous

Location: Midlands, UK

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Searching for videos of girls being groped

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I am deeply disturbed by some of the referring terms my blog statistics say people are using when they happen upon my blog. Some recent ones include:

  • “interactive breast grope game”
  • “any girls who want to f*ck a stranger?”
  • “pictures of how to wolf whistle”

Literally every day several people come to my blog via search terms that are some variation of “dirty school girl” and “groping girls video” because of posts like these ones which talk about men groping women in public and this story about a man asking to take a picture of a young woman in a “dirty schoolgirl outfit”. I take it they are disappointed when they get here since I speak out against these problems.

I try to block out how many predators there are who are making money off child porn and misogynistic, racist, homophobic, size-ist adult porn and how many more people are spending their time and money consuming it. But each time I check my stats I’m reminded that they’re out there.

Not that the messed up predators are probably still reading this post (which some of them will find when I tag it with “groping” and “dirty school girl outfit”), but I still want to say to them:

Looking at pictures and videos of girls being groped and sexualized in school outfits is disgusting and you are a predator who clearly has no respect for girls or women. Shame on you for contributing to a culture that thinks it’s okay to make money from girls’/women’s humiliation and a culture that says it’s entertainment when boys/men assault girls/women and harass them at home, school, work, and on the street.

That is all.

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I've had…

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I’ve been harassed more times than I can remember, starting when I was fourteen. I’ve been followed for blocks. I’ve had men walk up to me and say “I want to fuck you.”

I’ve had my ass grabbed. I’ve had lewd comments made about my body. I’ve had men ask me to get in their cars. I’ve had men stop their cars and get out to harass me as I walked down a quiet street. I’ve had men take my photograph. I’ve had a taxi driver pull off the street and ask me if I was a virgin. I’ve had men ask me for dates in the grocery store and get angry when I ignored them.

I’ve been grabbed roughly by the arm by several different men on several different occasions because I dared to ignore their greetings. I’ve been called a bitch. I get stared at all the time by men I don’t know. I have men approach me with personal questions. Even while with my husband or my dad, I’ve had men say things or blatantly stare at me. If I’m wearing sunglasses, men start asking what co lor eyes I have. I’ve had men intimidate me into giving them my (made-up) name and (made-up) phone number. I’ve been called a whore. I’ve had men say they’d like to grab my tits. I’ve had taxi drivers shout at me that their taxi is free.

Men stare at my breasts all the time. I’ve been fondled by multiple men while stuck in a crowd. I’ve had a man stick his hand up my skirt. I’ve had another man stick his hand down the front of my dress. I’ve had men persist in trying to get a date with me for near an hour, when I’m merely trying to browse the bookstore. I’ve had men offer unsolicited critiques of my clothing.

I’m in my early thirties now and I avoid going places where I think harassment is likeliest. I avoid eye contact with all unknown men. I frown while out in public. I walk fast. I *never* relax in public and always feel like I am on display. I’m frequently bitchy to men who try to strike up a conversation with me. I’m scared every single time I walk past a man on the street.

– anonymous

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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I’ve had…

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I’ve been harassed more times than I can remember, starting when I was fourteen. I’ve been followed for blocks. I’ve had men walk up to me and say “I want to fuck you.”

I’ve had my ass grabbed. I’ve had lewd comments made about my body. I’ve had men ask me to get in their cars. I’ve had men stop their cars and get out to harass me as I walked down a quiet street. I’ve had men take my photograph. I’ve had a taxi driver pull off the street and ask me if I was a virgin. I’ve had men ask me for dates in the grocery store and get angry when I ignored them.

I’ve been grabbed roughly by the arm by several different men on several different occasions because I dared to ignore their greetings. I’ve been called a bitch. I get stared at all the time by men I don’t know. I have men approach me with personal questions. Even while with my husband or my dad, I’ve had men say things or blatantly stare at me. If I’m wearing sunglasses, men start asking what co lor eyes I have. I’ve had men intimidate me into giving them my (made-up) name and (made-up) phone number. I’ve been called a whore. I’ve had men say they’d like to grab my tits. I’ve had taxi drivers shout at me that their taxi is free.

Men stare at my breasts all the time. I’ve been fondled by multiple men while stuck in a crowd. I’ve had a man stick his hand up my skirt. I’ve had another man stick his hand down the front of my dress. I’ve had men persist in trying to get a date with me for near an hour, when I’m merely trying to browse the bookstore. I’ve had men offer unsolicited critiques of my clothing.

I’m in my early thirties now and I avoid going places where I think harassment is likeliest. I avoid eye contact with all unknown men. I frown while out in public. I walk fast. I *never* relax in public and always feel like I am on display. I’m frequently bitchy to men who try to strike up a conversation with me. I’m scared every single time I walk past a man on the street.

– anonymous

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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