Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Grab my butt and SQUEEZE with both hands”

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Today I was going for a jog. I was minding my own business when I passed a young man, nodded and smiled as I usually do with anyone I see. I continued along my route and then I heard someone walking behind me. At this time I was walking as I was a little tired and since I had slowed down, I moved over to allow them to pass. I glanced back to see that it was the same young man.

This was strange to me so I moved a little further away in the hopes and expectation that he was simply walking and minding his own business. But then he proceeded to, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION, grab my butt and SQUEEZE with both hands.

As I turned around, he was running and within seconds, turned a corner and was out of my sight. I do not take these matters lightly and I do not believe they ever should be taken lightly as this is a violation of my rights and personal space.

I did report this to the police and hope that if I see him again, I can confront him and let him know that what he did was not okay. I am a little disappointed that things like this happen all the time. They shouldn’t. I was very much upset by this and am even more upset that someone would have the audacity to do something like that. I feel like I can’t even walk down the street without being worried about being harassed, and that’s a shame.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Educate our communities. Let it be known that women should not have to be worried while in public places doing normal everyday things that we should be allowed to do safely. Teach our children that people should be respected despite gender, race, class, religion, sexual orientation, etc. Our communities should be made aware that misogyny and sexism of any kind is intolerable and SERIOUS.

– VC

Location: Winnemucca, NV, USA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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Judge to survivor: “Bad things can happen in bars”

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Robb Evans, former police officer and sexual abuser (Josh Biggs/Arizona Daily Sun)

Sadly, we know that sexual harassment and assault is rampant in our culture, including in public spaces like our streets and the town bar. Here’s an example: Last summer, a drunk 43-year old male police officer named Robb Evans walked into a bar, walked over to a woman, and reached up her skirt and assaulted her. The bouncers threw him out.

Horrible.

A jury convicted him of sexual abuse (a class 5 felony) and, after an internal investigation, thankfully he was fired from the police force.

But that’s not the end of the story.

Via Think Progress:

“Arizona trial Judge Jacqueline Hatch, who was appointed to the bench by Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ), decided that Evans’ actions did not warrant jail time — sentencing him probation and 100 hours of community service. Evans also will not have to register as a sex offender. Yet, while Judge Hatch apparently did not view the disgraced former cop’s actions as particularly serious, she had some very harsh words for the woman he assaulted:

Bad things can happen in bars, Hatch told the victim, adding that other people might be more intoxicated than she was.

“If you wouldn’t have been there that night, none of this would have happened to you,” Hatch said.

Hatch told the victim and the defendant that no one would be happy with the sentence she gave, but that finding an appropriate sentence was her duty.

“I hope you look at what you’ve been through and try to take something positive out of it,” Hatch said to the victim in court. “You learned a lesson about friendship and you learned a lesson about vulnerability.”

Hatch said that the victim was not to blame in the case, but that all women must be vigilant against becoming victims.

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change,” Hatch said that her mother used to say.”

The Arizona Daily Sun reports that the judge also said that “even going to the grocery store after 10 p.m. can be dangerous for a woman.”

When a cop sexually assaults a woman and then a judge practically supports him, is there any wonder so few survivors of sexual abuse or harassment want to report it?!

The survivor of the assault is not standing for this kind of victim-blaming and is calling for an apology from the judge. Someone else started a Change.org petition you can sign calling for the judge to step down.

Here’s contact info if you want to tell the judge how you feel about victim-blaming:

Honorable Jacqueline Hatch
Judicial Assistant: Kathy Sandstrom
(928) 679-7551
200 N. San Francisco St.
Flagstaff, AZ 86001

Sadly, the judge’s comments show just how pervasive victim-blaming is in our culture and how even women, especially older women, help perpetuate it. In my own experience of giving talks about street harassment, it has only been older women who have made inappropriate comments to me like, “Well, with the way girls dress these days…” I know that they were raised in a different era when that was the dominant mentality, but times have changed and their unhelpful comments need to stop.

When I hear women victim-blame each other, I also feel badly for them. Their attitude suggests that they think men sexually assaulting and harassing women is so inevitable that the only way women can be safe is to stay home/dress conservatively/have a male protector.

I’m not so cynical, nor do I have such a narrow picture of sexual assault.

I’m glad to be part of a generation that by and large doesn’t want to “prevent” sexual assault by blaming women and telling them to stay home after 10 p.m., but instead understands that sexual violence happens in homes/schools/workplaces/bars/streets/subways to women and men, boys and girls. We want to change the cultural acceptance and normalcy of sexual violence and harassment and we do our best to work with allies of all genders, ages, and backgrounds to make that happen. There are many older people who agree with us and work with us and I hope that one day people like Judge Hatch will too.

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DC Groper Admits to 8 Attacks, Will Likely Face Almost No Punishment

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In early July, Washington, DC resident Liz Gorman was sexually assaulted in DC’s Dupont Circle. The next day Liz, who immediately reported the incident to the Metropolitan Police Department, wrote about her experience on the Collective Action for Safe Spaces blog. By Friday, the post had set off a viral reaction, both locally and nationally. Fast forward to late August and we have some good and bad news.

The Good News: After Liz and then four other women reported the alleged assailant, the DC Police looked for him and found him.

Via The Washington Post:

“The police did interviews, took statements, watched hours of security video until they froze the frame there — right there! — and found the jerk on the bike, his victim screaming next to him.

Then they caught the guy they believe is responsible for the attacks. Oscar Mauricio Cornejo-Pena even told them: Yup, he did it. He was a most helpful suspect, even offering up some crimes the cops didn’t know about.

“He admitted that he committed numerous similar offenses, possibly eight or more,” according to the charging documents drawn up by Officer Alexander MacBean.”

Thank you, DCPD! This story illustrates just how often harassers are repeat offenders. Most people don’t harass others, but some people harass a lot of other people.

The Bad News: He wasn’t charged for assaulting Liz, only the other four women. Plus, his conviction is pretty weak.

Also via The Washington Post:

“He was charged with “misdemeanor sexual abuse (with aggravating circumstances),” which, according to D.C. Official Code, is punishable by jail time of “not more than 180 days, and, in addition, may be fined in an amount not to exceed $1,000.”

That means that terrorizing women who are walking down the street, roughing them up and grabbing their privates gets you the same punishment as attending a cockfight, impersonating a police officer, trespassing on someone’s lawn or selling a fake Gucci purse.

In the District, sentencing guidelines say that a person who breaks into a vending machine or a parking meter should get more jail time (up to three years) and pay a bigger fine (up to $3,000) than a sociopath who violates women on the street….

The truth is, he’s probably not going to get any real jail time, said Chai Shenoy, a lawyer who specializes in sexual assault and who runs a group in the District, Collective Action for Safe Spaces.

Of the cases she has taken on, the ones where women are groped on Metro, violated on the street or attacked in their neighborhoods, she has never had a criminal conviction for that type of street harassment.

“We applaud the police for taking the crimes seriously, using their resources and working hard to make an arrest,” she said. “But it’s a double-edged sword. We want police to take these crimes seriously, we want prosecutors to take these crimes seriously and then, at the end of the day, we have sentencing guidelines that won’t provide justice.”

And that’s what we’re up against. Even if/when we report harassers and even if/when the police take it seriously and find them, the penalties are pretty weak. So, it can make you wonder if it’s even worth the time or energy. As hard as prevention is, it’s going to be the best way to stop street harassment for the next generation.

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“I am a feminist, yet I am a victim”

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This article excerpt is cross-posted with permission from the blog Organica: The Story of an Arab American Girl.

I am writing about my everyday experiences as a single woman living in Cairo, Egypt. I travel independently, run my own life and refuse to allow harassment or male behavior hinder my life. I am writing about the price I pay for braving the road, the protests, the streets, and the sit-ins. I am writing about how my feminism feels helpless and often afraid.

Here it goes: my name is Hana and I am an empowered victim.

When I lived in the United States between 2006 and 2011, I used to dream about the day I’d move back to Egypt so that I could yell and shame every man who sexually harassed me on the street. I thought it would feel empowering. I was wrong. Not only is it extremely draining and tedious, it quite often takes a scary turn. Sexual harassers thrive on getting a rise out of their prey.

This is not an article on sexual harassment, but a glimpse of my life.

On the Road:

Everyday my mother looks at me with terror: ‘khali balak men nafsik winabi ya benti’ [take care of yourself my daughter] before I leave the house, and my response is ‘Mami haye7sali eh ya3ni? Mate2la2eesh’ [Mom, what do you think could possibly happen to me anyways? Stop worrying!]. But in reality, I’m wrong and she’s right. She should be worried for my safety. I am often instructed to reconsider my outfits when I am driving alone and I argue that I am not going to let men affect my choices.

The driver-to-driver harassment is rampant in Cairo. One time while in stagnant 6th of October bridge traffic, I was texting on my phone (traffic was at a complete standstill).

The driver in the car next to mine said: “I hope this phone falls on the car mat, so that you may bend down to get it, and I’d drive into you, ya know what I mean?”

I yelled “balash elit adab w 2araf’ [I don’t want disrespect and disgust], which he responded “ba2a keda?” [Like that, eh?] – And then he followed me to my house all while making further obscene comments.

There was nothing I could do to protect myself from this bully – I was helpless.

Protests:

I moved back to Egypt on July 5th. On July 8th there was a million man march and the beginning of a sit-in. That Friday was my first ever protest in Egypt. I dressed appropriately and took to the streets with immeasurable excitement. Given that I moved back to Egypt for the revolution, I thought nothing could taint my first experience in a protest – I was wrong.

A man approached with his three friends and asked about the color of my bra – apparently he preferred white ones. I yelled and said that I would scream if he said anything which made him and his friends laugh loudly – at me – declaring that I am crazy but a ‘hottie,’ and a crazy-hottie combo would be great in bed. I pulled out my pepper spray but it failed to reach my monsters.

The day continued along the same lines, I got groped several times, one of which was actually from the front (I did not know that was even possible), and another by a 12 year old CHILD who I caught and yelled at. I was scared and felt vulnerable although equipped with my knife and pepper spray. There was nothing I could do and it felt awful.

The Streets:

There is no ‘that street’ story because there are countless street stories. They all revolve around the same thing: being verbally and quite often physically assaulted by men. Forget the catcalls, and the comments (I was once told that I am attractive, but would be much more attractive if I lost some weight), but the physical harassment is unbearable.

My street story is by no means special. I was walking home, turning at a corner, when a man’s hand came out of a car window and groped me (it was painful). The car had 4 or 5 guys and I could hear them laugh at my humiliation. I continued walking, feeling disgusted when the car appeared again, and one of the guys in the car so kindly suggested that it was obvious that I wanted to get groped again.

Yeah, that felt awful too.

…

Reality:

The worst thing that I face as a woman who refuses to let such actions hinder or inhibit her is the feeling of helplessness. I am a feminist, yet I am a victim. I know for a fact yelling back or even screaming at harassers is effective, some do actually apologize when shamed, but I also know that NOTHING will stop these men except actual punishment. I am a woman who never uses the metro, microbuses, buses and I rarely use taxis, yet I face this much harassment. I can only imagine what the women who do use public transportation face on a daily basis. I presume I’d have to multiply my experiences by a hundred.

I do not pray often, but I pray that the day comes when I feel safe walking the streets of Egypt; I walk them now anyway, but I feel weak, vulnerable and helpless and it feels awful.

–An Egyptian Woman.

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Showing cleavage without putting out equals cruelty to men?

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Women should cover up their cleavage or else put out because otherwise, they’re  being confusing and cruel to men. It’s their fault they make men lash out with leers and gropes if they don’t allow the men to “get with” them.

I wish I could report this idea was straight out of The Onion (fake news) but it’s not. It’s from a woman’s opinion-editorial.

Via Jezebel:

“Bettina Arndt argued in the Sydney Morning Herald that “everywhere you look, women are stepping out dressed provocatively, but bristling if the wrong man shows he enjoys the display.” (Remember, it’s summer down under.) Arndt writes:

[Men] are in a total state of confusion… Sensitive males are wary, not knowing where to look. Afraid of causing offense. And there are angry men, the beta males who lack the looks, the trappings of success to tick these women’s boxes. They know the goodies on display are not for them. These are the men most likely to behave badly, blatantly leering, grabbing and sneering. For them, the whole thing is a tease. They know it and resent it.

There’s nothing new about arguing that scantily-clad women drive helpless men to distraction — or worse. SlutWalkers and Talmudic scholars (among others) have made the case over and over that nothing a woman wears (or doesn’t wear) can cause a man to rape her, but their voices are often drowned out by those who ridiculously insist on outsourcing all male sexual self-control to women.

In Arndt’s case, she goes beyond merely holding women responsible for their own rapes. Her op-ed implies that women who don’t cover up are committing an act of cruelty against most men, most of the time. Arndt claims that a conventionally attractive woman who shows off her cleavage “is advertising her wares to the world, not just her target audience, and somehow men are expected to know when they are not on her page… But as we all know, many men are lousy at that stuff — the language totally escapes them.”

Wow, her op-ed is very insulting to men and makes them sound like full grown, spoiled brats who will lash out if they can’t have their way (and apparently their way is being with any woman who shows cleavage). She also assumes all men are heterosexual.

She also places fault for leering and groping with women! I’m so over victim-blaming.

People need to look at cultural norms and the manufacturing of sexy and whether or not a society has respect for women instead of blaming women.

In some indigenous cultures where women are topless or in places like Hawaii where women walk into grocery stores in bikinis, they do not face high rates of rape or oogling as a result, because that’s the norm. People are used to it.

Too often, the media sexualizes breasts and actively encourages people to oogle them as a way to get them (heterosexual men) to buy products. The media and a general disrespect for women also fosters the notion that men are entitled to look at women and are even entitled to touch them, and if women don’t like it, they’re the problem!

Meanwhile, there are countries where women are considered teases because of the cultural norm that they shouldn’t show their wrists or ankles in public. One cleric in Saudi Arabia even advocated for a hijab that only allowed women to show one eye because, he claimed, two eyes were too seductive.

Women wearing hijabs and long, modest dress are still groped and harassed in many countries – in Yemen, over 90 percent of women had been the target of street harassment, including groping. This doesn’t happen because they are showing skin but because women are so devalued and discriminated against that men think it’s okay to treat them that way.

So to reiterate – showing breasts is not a problem by itself. Especially when you consider how women with large breasts can wear tshirts and their breasts are still visible and they can wear tops that may give less busty women no cleavage but will give them cleavage. What are they supposed to wear? Burlap sacks? No. Breasts aren’t the problem, instead the problem is the way our society fosters the notion that men are entitled to look and touch and disrespect women’s wishes for being looked at or touched.

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