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No, I Will Not Marry You!

June 18, 2009 By Contributor

After getting off the bus, I make a call on my cell phone, passing by a man who says, “Hey baby. Marry me.” I had already passed him when he said it so I just kept walking. I sat down at a Coldstone Creamery table to finish the conversation and eat a snack when the guy comes over and stands in front of me. He says hi and quickly leans in toward my neck when I tell him very loudly and firmly to leave me alone and get away from me. He acts insulted and tells me he only wanted to look at what was on my necklace. I give him a look of contempt and he finally leaves me alone, yelling “Fuck you! Fuck you you fucking bitch!” the entire time he walks down the sidewalk.

I am a student here in Honolulu, I have no car and I am almost always by myself when I run errands at the store or grocery. I am absolutely sick of dealing with this type of bullshit every time I leave my home. I never dealt with this sort of constant harassment in any other city I have lived in.

I am certainly not going to stop telling these pathetic old men to leave me alone just because they will yell and threaten me. I felt completely furious. I was angrier than the time I was waiting at a bus stop and a man got off and persisted to say he’d seen me before and took out his wallet to get out money when I threatened to call the police to get him to leave. Enough is enough, but what can I do?! I don’t know what to do anymore and fear that if I keep having to deal with this on an almost daily basis I will explode on someone one day.

– anonymous

Location: 710 Keeaumoku St, Honolulu, HI

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: coldstone creamery, hey baby, honolulu, marry me, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

Street Harassment from NY to France to Japan

June 2, 2009 By HKearl

Exploring the blogosphere, I came across the following street harassment post on the blog Pomp and Circumstance:

“Heat and mating season make New Yorkers let it all hang out. I am pro sex yet have always had mixed feelings about street harassment. A woman whose weight fluctuates from average to a little extra, a globe trekker approaching 30, I’ve developed an international view on the issue.

Growing up in Philly after I lost my baby fat and had a growth spurt I got a lot of attention on the block. I chuckled, flinched sometimes. After a few years, I took “White is right!” “Can I get a ride? and “Pssst, snowflake” for granted. Yet I was always self-conscious, wearing overalls over my miniskirt to waitress one summer.

In France, I starved myself more to almost French size, sticking out only to my matronly host who said I was a little plump. Still, I was the victim of both friendly Bonjours and a teenage ass grabber.

I moved to Japan and gained 20 pounds. My teenaged students shouted ‘I love you,’ and girls grabbed my breasts in clubs. I was the victim of chikan-subway molestation. A crime so common authorities told me to carry hatpins.

I moved to New York five years ago. In the big city, women and men, cultivate the blank, sidewalk face, which I wear more often than I’d like. Sometimes, a ‘God bless you, beautiful’ is a relief.

-A”

An interesting and global take on street harassment, huh? Do you feel glad to hear from people on the street sometimes?

I’m also interested in how she perceives the role her weight plays in the kinds and volume of street harassment she experiences. Have you ever felt your weight impacts the type or volume of harassment you experience?

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: catcalling, chikan, hey baby, japan, new york, paris, philadelphia, pomp and circumstances, sexual harassment, street harassment, subway molestation

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