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Anti-Black Woman Harasser in Arlington

August 7, 2009 By Contributor

angry harasserI was in Arlington and walking to the train station. When walking on Quincy Street, I walked past a guy who was loading groceries into his car, which didn’t seem out of the ordinary, until he started calling at me.

“‘Scuse me, sweetheart,” he says. I know he’s trying to hit on me, and I don’t want to talk to a man I don’t know. I continue walking, he continues calling at me.

“Excuse me, lovely…excuse me, sweetheart…hello?…hello?…hello?” I continued to ignore him and walk. Though it was daylight out still, the street felt isolated to me, and I just didn’t want to respond to him. He gave me a funny vibe.

He then starts calling me names.

“Yo, Bumpyface!” he says. “Bumpyface. You got acne. You’re a bumpyface. You’re ugly.”

I know I don’t have the best skin in the world, and I am very touchy about it. His comments were so cruel. I don’t get how I was so “lovely” that he wanted to talk to me one minute, to being an “ugly bumpyface.” I pulled out my phone to snap his photo to submit to your site. At the time, he (and his friend who was in the vehicle) were laughing and thought it was funny.

“That’s why I didn’t respond to you in the first place,” I snapped. “Men like you have no respect for women. I don’t know you, and don’t want to talk to strange men.”

I spoke in a calm manner, I didn’t curse, so I don’t know why the hell he went from 0 to 60.

He got in my face, started thumping his chest, and approached me as if I were someone his own size.

“What you say to me? What you say? Huh, huh? Say it again, bitch, say it again! Fuck you bitch! Take my picture, bitch! That’s right, bitch!”

I started walking away, and he followed me.

“Fuck you, bitch! I HATE BLACK WOMEN!” he ranted. “I’m tired of black women! Black women ain’t shit! Black women are ugly! I don’t give a damn about BLACK WOMEN! Stupid bitch!”

Once again, if you hate black women so much, why talk to me?

He got really close to me and acted like he was going to punch me. He kept swinging fake punches close to me, and though he didn’t actually hit me I became fearful for my life. I started backing up into the street, even though cars were coming. I then started running, and he ran after me. I tried calling the cops on my phone, but I was nervous and couldn’t think straight because this guy was right in my space. Luckily some kind of action came into me. I saw someone getting into his car and yelled “CALL THE POLICE!” at the top of my lungs. He ignored me, got into his car and drove off.

The harasser finally got tired of chasing after me and terrifying me and ran back to his car, laughing. Unfortunately I couldn’t get a clear shot of his license plates. I just know they were Virginia plates (from their font style), and the first part was J_C (I don’t know the middle letter, and can’t remember the four numbers).

I finally managed to call the police, and ten minutes later (after this guy and his friend were long gone) an officer came. I showed him the photo I took of the guy, but his reaction was pretty nonchalant.

“You don’t know this guy, right?” he asked.
“No, I’ve never met him before,” I said.
“And you said you don’t live in the area, so you probably won’t see him again,” he said.
“But it’s scary that he just started cursing and swinging punches at me,” I said.
“This is actually a pretty safe neighborhood, ma’am,” the officer said. “And there’s not much we can do since you didn’t get his license plate. You probably won’t see him again since you’re not from here, but in the rare chance you do see him again give us a call.”

That was the least reassuring conversation I’ve had with an officer. I didn’t know how to react. I felt numb. I spent the rest of my walk in a numb zone. I stared at my feet and became non-responsive. People walking by brushed past me on the street and knocked into me, but I didn’t react. I felt as if I had no control over my own body and actions anymore and that’s the worst feeling in the world.

Walking home from Metro was hell. It had become pitch black and men were still trying to talk to me on the street. I once again didn’t respond, and thankfully they didn’t respond in crazed anger.

I know there’s a movement of men like this guy on the Internet who have blogs and YouTube channels devoted towards this racial misogyny, but to have it right in my face is something else. These men think they own black women, and when rejected by a woman of their own race they take it to the extreme. After the Asia McGowan/Anthony Powell murder/suicide in Detroit a few months back (another man who wanted black women while hating them at the same time, and made hateful videos about it on his YouTube channel), today’s incident reminded me that I am not safe and that my best interests aren’t important. It sickens me that someone will hate the whole gender of their own race simply because of the rejection of one individual. If this guy wanted me to start hating all black men to justify his sick actions, well he didn’t win. I can’t hate all black men because of the actions of one sick encounter on the street. His behavior reflects on him, not on all black men.

I can’t talk to my family and friends about this because they think I take a lot of risks when I’m out alone. They’d tell me I shouldn’t have taken his photo, they’d tell me I should’ve just responded to him when he tried to initiate a conversation with me, and they’d tell me I should’ve kept walking when he started to insult me. It’s not fair that I have to do everything as to not upset a harasser, but harassers can do and say what they please. Even if I did respond to his initial catcalls at me, and even if I just walked away and not done anything, there’s no guarantee that he wouldn’t have still gone mad.

After today, I have no choice but to be a docile, submissive woman. I don’t know what else to do. And after knowing the police don’t have my back, I have to do everything in my power to protect myself.

– Fearful

Location: N. Quincy Street (between Wilson and N. Glebe) – Arlington, VA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: anti-black women, arlington, glebe, harassment-free living, holla back dc, racial misogyny, racism, street harassment, virginia

Street Harassment Photography Contest/Show: Enter Now!

July 20, 2009 By HKearl

Calling all photographers!

In October 2009, Washington, DC, will be the site of the first annual Holla Back DC! Make DC Harassment Free day-long summit addressing gender-based public harassment, or street harassment. The conference will attract hundreds of activists, educators, and individuals from the DC Metro area (& beyond) for conversations about the problem and what we can do to make public spaces in DC harassment free.  Prior to the summit, we are hosting an opening reception where selected photographs from this competition will be displayed to raise awareness and prompt dialogue about the issue.

This photography contest is open to all individuals who can capture gender-based public harassment photographs in the DC metro area.  We encourage all entrants to be as creative and realistic as possible with their submissions. You may submit up to three photographs by midnight, August 12, 2009.  We will notify selected photographers by August 19, 2009.

Let your photographer friends and family know and encourage them to participate.  For more information and official rules, please go to: http://makedcharassmentfree.com/contest/index.htm

holla1heading
(Note: I am one of the conference organizers and we are still looking for a conference site. If you have any suggestions of locations downtown DC that can hold at least 150 people and is low cost to free – so that we can keep attendence to the conference free – please contact me)

(& also, special thanks to my good friend Kira for designing the conference logo)

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Filed Under: Events Tagged With: holla back dc, make dc harassment free, photography contest, photography show, street harassment conference, street harassment summit

Street Harassment Round Up – May 17

May 17, 2009 By HKearl

Stories:

On Holla Back DC! a contributor talks about her bystander efforts to challenge street harassers. She says, “If I’m close enough when I spot men ogling women who are unaware they’re being ogled, I usually say something in the lines of ‘I saw you do that, and you better not try it with me! Nasty!’ to embarrass them.'”

As mentioned in the last two week round ups, since April 26, HollaBack NYC has been posting one photo a day of street harassers. They will continue to do so for a month. All of the photos are being submitted by one woman, Sally N., a New York City resident. Emily at HollaBack NYC says, “We believe these pictures tell the story of what it’s like to be a woman in the big apple.” Visit HollaBack NYC to see these photos.

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem!

In the News:

  • A man disguised as a woman gropes a woman on the women-only subway car in Mexico City
  • A man in Vancouver, Canada, and a man in West Redding, UK, were arrested and tried, respectively, for sexual assault of young women in public places.

Upcoming Events:

  • May 21: Fundraiser for RightRides
  • June 8 (7-9 p.m.): New Yorkers for Safe Transit are holding a community forum about the rampancy of gender-based violence in the New York City public transit system. “Taking Back Public Transit: Confronting Violence on Board” will be held at Brecht Forum, 451 West St. (btwn. Bank & Bethune), New York.
  • June 27 (2-4 p.m.): Girls and women ages 12-25 are invited to share their stories about sexual harassment on the Chicago buses and subways with the Rogers Park Young Women’s Action Team. Berger Park Cultural Center, 6205 N. Sheridan Road, Chicago, IL.

Street Harassment Resource of the Week:

  • “Let me tell you how to talk to me” and “I Need Respect;” songs written by the Girls’ Leadership Council (HOTGIRLS Street Team) in partnership with FIREGRL Club program at the Harland Boy & Girls Club in Atlanta to raise awareness about street harassment. Find more resources on the Stop Street Harassment website.
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Filed Under: Events, hollaback, News stories, Resources Tagged With: holla back dc, holla back nyc, HOTGIRLS street team street harassment, mexico city, public transportation, Rogers Park Young Women's Action Team, sexual harassment, Stories, Vancouver, West Redding

Street Harassment Round Up – April 19

April 19, 2009 By HKearl

Stories:

Holla Back DC posted many compelling posts this week, but one of my favorites was about male allies: “Can you imagine the affect this would have if enough men stepped in and said this every time they saw sexual harassment occurring? We would see a positive change.”

On this blog, a contributor wrote about her success in stopping chronic harassers near her workplace.

Activism/Recognition:

ineveraskToday Blank Noise held a street harassment event in Bombay (visit their site for an update on how it went), where women were invited to bring an article of clothing they’d been harassed in and wear clothing they’d always wanted to wear but hadn’t for fear of harassment. Details of the event were e-mailed to the participants with promise of public participation.

Street harassment-focused self defense class by Defend Yourself occurred in DC on April 18. Read my post about attending it.

Emily May of HollaBack NYC has been selected for the Women Media Center’s second class of Progressive Women’s Voices (PWV) for 2009. The program aims to make women visible and powerful in the media everyday and the selected women like Emily are the “go-place for journalists looking for women sources, experts, and commentators.” Emily was selected in great part because of her work on HollaBack and her expertise on street harassment. Congrats, Emily, way to get the issue out there in mainstream media.

Upcoming Events:

April 22, a RightRides volunteer orientation in New York

April 29, Holla Back DC! blog launch party in Washington, DC

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Filed Under: street harassment Tagged With: Blank Noise, defend yourself, emily may, holla back dc, holla back nyc, progressive women's voices, self defense, sexual harassment, street harassment, women's media center

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