I don’t have a story, I have stories. Lots of stories. I don’t have time to tell you all of them, and you don’t have time to read all of them. I do have a small selection. All men (and women, too) should know that the following is NOT OK:
– Walking past a woman and shouting, “Daaaammmmn,” while rolling your eyes over her.
– Walking past a woman and stopping in front of her to stare at her chest.
– Coming up to a woman to tell her: “You make me so horny.”
– Grabbing a woman’s ass as she walks by.
– Walking circles around a woman (or, at the time, a teenager) while masturbating.
– Flashing your genitals at a woman.
– Pointing at a woman when she walks by and talking about her like she won’t hear a thing. This isn’t a compliment. It doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel objectified. It makes me feel anxious to walk past group of men. It makes me feel dirty.
When you walk up to me and tell me that I’m making you so hot, right there and then, it makes me feel like you just raped my mind. Sure, I like compliments. And sure, I can take a compliment. Yelling that I make you hot is NOT a compliment.
Touching me is NOT a compliment.
There is a person inside this body. Please address her. Tell her that you’re sorry for being so forward, but that you think she looks beautiful and that you just wanted to say that. She will be delighted to take your compliment. THAT is a compliment. THAT is something to cherish, and THAT is something that will make me smile. The response you get in return will be a lot better, I promise.
Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?
Raising awareness! It seems a lot of men genuinely don’t realise the hurtful things they say and honestly think they’re giving compliments. And even if they don’t, it’s just what’s normal for them because they don’t know different. We should teach them differently.
– N.S.
Location: Everywhere
