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He Killed Her For Ignoring His Advances

November 27, 2019 By HKearl

Updated: Here is a good piece on Ruth George’s murder at the Chicago Tribune, including: “Men need to recognize that catcalling isn’t a compliment and understand why women bristle at the common request that they “smile.” The fact that a male notices a female on the street doesn’t give him the right to make a judgment or comment. And if she tries to lighten the mood with a smile or a joke, trust us: She’s not flirting. She just wants him to go away without lashing out. She wants him to let her walk away safe.”
Hello SSH Community –

First, you haven’t heard from me in a while as my time away from my day-job has been focused on caring for my toddler while he’s been in and out of the hospital, facing repeat illnesses and requiring many doctor and specialist visits. I still try to post relevant news stories regularly on our Facebook page, and the free street harassment support hotline is still available 24/7 (and is what your donations can help continue to fund).

But here I am writing to you today because this news story shook me — a 19-year-old honors college student named Ruth George was killed by a man in Chicago after she ignored his “catcalls” and verbal harassment. At the time, she was walking near campus to her car in a parking garage and, angry that she ignored him, he followed her, strangled her, raped her and left her dead in the backseat of her car.

The brutality of his actions are shocking. The normalcy of what she was doing when this occurred – just walking to her car from her campus – is scary. My heart goes out to her family and friends. This never should have happened.

Over the 13 years I’ve been researching and writing on this issue, I’ve read at least two dozen of these stories. Usually the man is mad the woman ignored him and he escalates to lethal violence. That similarity comes up over and over again. It makes me think — How many times have we all been told to ignore someone who was bullying or harassing us? It’s still pretty common advice even though obviously there is no guarantee that it will keep you safe — indeed instead research suggests that a calm, short, assertive response may be the best strategy.

What Ruth’s tragic story also makes clear is that telling people how to respond to their harassers will not end this problem. Instead, we need to focus on ending the systems, attitudes and culture that allows harassment and violence to occur in the first place. We need communities involved. We need to listen to the voices of those most affected, including girls and teenagers.

Recent Examples of What We Need:
1 – As a long-time runner whose faced countless incidents of harassment, I am proud to be part of the current November Runner’s World issue that focuses on what communities can do about stopping the harassment of runners. As announced in the issue, Runner’s World and Women’s Health have a new initiative to address this called Runners Alliance.

2 – Many of the community tactics Runner’s World covers in this article are applicable to street harassment in general, including the efforts of organizations like Men Can Stop Rape and Collective Action for Safe Spaces (CASS).

3 – Here in Washington, DC, thanks to CASS and others, our city government is tackling this issue in a holistic way, with a city-wide survey and PSAs being two of the outcomes so far. Our transit agency is too, and our latest joint campaign that’s up on the system focuses on what witnesses of harassment can do.

4 – Plan International is currently undertaking a Chalk Back for young women around the world to raise awareness about street harassment, as part of the current 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence.

Additionally, of course, ideally we need lessons on sexual harassment and consent in schools and we need politicians/celebrities/public figures to treat women with respect and consent.

What will you do to advocate for and help create a safer community for all?

-Holly
Stop Street Harassment Founder & CEO

P.S. Please consider a tax deductible-donation to support our work.

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Filed Under: 16 days, Stories, street harassment Tagged With: chalking, death, murder

USA: New Orleans Takes A Stand Against Gender Violence

September 30, 2016 By Correspondent

Sequoya La Joy, Louisiana, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

As a woman, street harassment is nothing new to me. I can remember being whistled at in the Chicago suburb I grew up in when I ran into the gas station to get cream sodas and my mother pumped gas. I can remember being on road trips with my mother and watching her dodge the strange men at rest stops and road side cafes who tried to talk to us both. I commuted to and from work and school for four years via foot, bike, or city buses. Men have groped me as I have gotten on and off the bus, followed me to my job, followed me to my stop, and screamed at and touched on the bus and the street. However, just a few months ago, I bought a car.

I was delighted at being able to get to one place and the next without having to look up bus times, call a cab, or wait for the street car. I felt so protected in my 1998 navy blue Mercedes Benz, surrounded by metal, glass, and old leather. I was in my own bubble in the beginning. As the summer progressed and the temperatures rose, I rolled the windows down instead of waiting for the AC to kick in. I had a sunroof for the first time and I often drove with the sunroof and front windows open. However, rolling the windows down removed a thin but very real barrier to the outside world. Less than one eighth of an inch of fiber glass separated me in my bubble of leather, metal, and glass and all of the motorists and people that occupied the streets of New Orleans.

Men came up to me when I was stopped at traffic lights to ask for my number or ask for money or a ride. I men yelled from their windows asking for my snapchat name was or if I had a boyfriend. They may have been doing this all along, but when I rolled down the windows, I erased the barrier that kept me oblivious to what these men were saying.

I was in the passenger seat of my father’s car this summer at a stop light when I noticed a man who had been begging walking up to a SUV next to me. A woman was driving and what looked like her young teenage daughter sat in the passenger seat. I thought it was interesting that he was walking up to the pair and wondered if he were a family member they were picking up. I watched the man reach for the door handle and try to rip the door open. It was then, I realized this wasn’t a family member and the women weren’t there to pick them up. I watched the mother scream and reach over and shut the door as my father noticed and honked his horn. The light turned green and they drove off. It was then that I started to make sure my doors were locked when I started driving my car and only rolled down my drivers window and cracked the passenger’s window.

Since I’ve been driving, I’ve also been harassed by other motorists even with my windows up. Just this past weekend, I was on the interstate driving to a relative’s house and heard a car beeping at me. I ignored the beep as I could see a man in a muscle car out of the corner of my eye and didn’t want to engage. The man continued to beep five more times and I looked over, thinking I may have left my gas tank open or that something was wrong with my car, just to see the man making a lewd gesture with his tongue at me. This was the first time this had happened on the highway. I honestly feared that another car could have hit me or I could have hit another car during this interaction. I had no idea why this man felt entitled to slow down the entire interstate and do this. My windows were up and I was supposed to be wrapped in my protective bubble of glass, metal, and leather and yet I felt very unsafe.

New Orleans is a city that is not always safe for women.

diamond
Devin Diamond. Image via The Advocate

In fact, this summer, Erica Davis, a young black woman in the LGBT community was murdered on her way to work. Weeks later, Devin Diamond, a black trans woman was found murdered and burned alive. Street harassment and gun violence run rampant in this city and it can be a dangerous place for all people but women and gender nonconforming and LGBT folks are at a very high risk of violence in this city.

On October 27th, local organizations and universities will join forces and celebrate New Orleans’ 25th Annual Take Back The Night Event. Take Back The Night originally started in protest of the murder of young microbiologist Susan Alexander Speeth, who was stabbed to death one block from her home while walking home alone at night. The event will start at Loyola University New Orleans and there will be community organizations set up and offering resources, a speech, and then a candle light vigil and march that will take participants onto Tulane University’s Campus for a open mic.

Take Back The Night is a international event that has happening for over 40 years and is an event that aims to end gender violence and violence of all kinds and aims to make the night a safe space again for women and other victims of violence.

tbtnnolaThis event is to honor those who have experienced violence and assault and to empower survivors. The New Orleans Take Back The Night march will involve Loyola University, Tulane University, Dillard University, Holy Cross, Xavier University, University of New Orleans as well as organizations like New Orleans Family Justice Center, Louisiana Foundation Against Sexual Assault, Metropolitan Center for Women and Children, Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners and Sexual Trauma Awareness and Response. If you have experienced street harassment and would like to share your story, you can submit your story and also find a list of resources such as hotlines,
counseling, and events.

Sequoya is a Native American and Italian woman from Chicago who fell in love with New Orleans. She’s currently a Sociology Major at Loyola University New Orleans and supports her higher education habit by slinging drinks to the masses. She aspires to attain a PhD and write a best seller. She currently operates a small blog.

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Filed Under: correspondents, Stories, street harassment Tagged With: cars, murder, street harassment, take back the night

Three Examples of Scary Street Harassment Escalation

September 8, 2016 By HKearl

Street harassment can escalate without warning. That’s what makes it so scary. These three stories from this past week alone clearly illustrate this:

tiarah-poyau-2016Via For Harriet:

“22-year-old Tiarah Poyau was fatally shot at the J’ouvert festival in Brooklyn over the weekend. NYPD said the fatal altercation occurred after Poyau asked a man to stop grinding on her, according to the New York Post.

She was walking down the street with three friends during the pre-West Indian Day celebration when she told the man who invaded her space “get off me.”

Poyau was shot in the eye at close range.

20-year-old Reginald Moise was apprehended. He has five prior arrests. Police say they found the gun used in the shooting at Moise’s girlfriend’s apartment.

Moise was charged with second-degree murder, criminal possession of a weapon and reckless endangerment.”

 

Via Thailand’s National Newspaper:

“A 23-year-old American tourist suffers spinal injuries falling down a ravine in Krabi while she was fleeing from an alleged sexual assault late Thursday night….

According to the Phuket Gazette, the man who attempted to molest her, identified as Apai Ruangwong, has been charged with committing obscene behaviour toward another person and causing serious injury.

‘He said that he had known the victim for a day. He volunteered to walk her to her place, but couldn’t stop himself from touching her inappropriately.

‘The victim was frightened and ran away to escape him,’ Piyapong Boonkaew, superintendent of Ao Nang Police Station, told the Phuket Gazette.

Apai called rescue workers for his victim, who fell off the high cliff, the officer said.

It was only on Friday that rescue workers could reach her.”

 

Via City Living Seattle:

“Police arrested a 31-year-old man Sunday after he approached a woman as she was working in her yard, told her he wanted to have sex with her, and then returned hours later and broke into her home as she was showering.

The victim told police the suspect approached around 3 PM her as she was working in her garden near the 5100 block of 12th Avenue Northeast and informed her he wanted to have sex.

The woman immediately left her yard and went inside her home.

Hours later, around 7 PM, the woman was taking a shower when she heard someone trying to get into the bathroom.

The woman thought it might be one of her roommates and opened the door, only to find the suspect standing inside her home.

The woman began screaming for help, and one of her roommates grabbed the suspect and shoved him out the door of the home.

Officers arrived on scene minutes later and arrested the suspect in a nearby alley.”

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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment Tagged With: attack, escalation, murder

Gay Clubs Should be Safe

June 14, 2016 By HKearl

Half-staff LGBT flag in DCThe shooting at the Orlando gay club over the weekend is horrendous. That Latinx LGBQT-identified people were attacked and killed in a space that was supposed to be safe is disheartening and enraging. We mourn the victims and stand with the survivors and the families affected.

We stand with those who strive for equality, acceptance, and a world where people are not hated, harassed, abused or killed because of their identity.

As a HuffPost blogger Denise Frohman wrote:

“We know homophobia didn’t end with marriage equality. We know the shooting in Orlando didn’t happen overnight — we have a cultural problem that perpetuates homophobia, racism, sexism, and Islamophobia in our schools, our streets, and on our televisions.

We are the work we have to do.

I want feel safe everywhere I go. I want liberation for all of us who live under the threat of violence…

I mourn those killed in Orlando, their families, their partners, and the peace of mind we cherished in these spaces. Tomorrow and the day after, we will work, as we’ve always done to reclaim space, even the ones we built for ourselves.”

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Filed Under: LGBTQ, News stories Tagged With: hate crime, murder, shooting

15-Year-Old Girl Killed by Street Harasser

February 24, 2016 By HKearl

Trigger Warning — Murder

Via Indian Express:

“A 15-year-old girl was shot dead allegedly by a man who had been harassing her for sometime, police said. Accused Kuldeep and his aide Pujari have been arrested…

Prinki, who worked as a domestic help, was yesterday returning home with her sister when Kuldeep along with his aides stopped them, they said. According to the victim’s sister, Kuldeep soon took out a gun and shot at Prinki, police said.”

Another senseless death because of sexism, gender-based violence, street harassment — the third I’ve read about so far in 2016. My heart goes out to her friends and family.

May justice be served in her memory.

 

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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment Tagged With: 15-year-old, gender-based violence, India, killed, murder, teenager

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