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“I yelled that he just groped me. I literally started punching him in the head”

November 4, 2011 By HKearl

Via NY Post -- Shyane DeJesus

22-year old college student Shyane DeJesus attacked, berated, and snapped a cell phone picture of a man who groped her on a subway platform in New York City.

From the New York Post:

“DeJesus, who lives in Queens, was headed to work at a shoe store at 9:50 a.m. Oct. 23 when the drama unfolded as she stood on the platform and leaned over the tracks to see if a train was coming.

That’s when she noticed a man sneaking up alongside her.

Before DeJesus could step away, the deviant began rubbing against her thigh.

“It was disgusting,” she said. “I felt so violated.”

When the downtown No. 6 train arrived, the man “grabbed my right shoulder and pushed my head down and lifted my skirt up and groped me,” DeJesus said.

Via NYPost -- Report this man if you see him!

She began fighting back, and the cowardly creep ran onto the train.

“He went on the train and sat down as if nothing happened. I was hysterical. I yelled that he just groped me. I literally started punching him in the head,” she said.

No one came to her aid.

DeJesus got in a few more knocks on her attacker, and, as the train pulled in to the next station, took her phone out of her bag.

“I held the door and positioned the phone in his face. I was shaking, I’m surprised I got it,” she said.

“He smirked when I looked at him. He never said a word, not a word. All I got was that smirk.”

DeJesus then got off the train and ran to her job, where she called police.

Cops are still searching for the man.”

While I don’t condone violence, I sympathize with her actions. When man after man gets away with sexually harassing, stalking, groping, and assaulting women on the streets, subway platforms, buses, and stores of our country, and when bystanders stand by and let it happen, there comes a breaking point. Maybe after getting kicked and yelled at by a person he thought he could easily grope, this perpetrator won’t be so quick to grope someone else. Especially if the police catch him. Good for DeJesus.

DeJesus is not the only New York City woman to have this type of reaction to groping. In the past year, we’ve heard from Nicola Briggs who was videotaped yelling down the man who rubbed against her and flashed her on the subway (he was later arrested and deported), Kate Spencer who hit the man who groped her on a subway platform, and Robyn Shepherd who chased down a man who smacked her butt as she walked down the street.

Street harassers, beware: more and more women are fighting back and not just figuratively and not just online, but actually, physically fighting back. So stop harassing us. We don’t like it, no one does. If you continue to harass us, you may just find out how much we don’t like it when you get a slap to the face or a kick to the groin. I don’t like violence, I don’t like harassment. Stop the harassment, there will be no violence.

And bystanders: do something if you see another person facing harassment! Ask them if they’re okay if you’re not sure if they’re being harassed or not. Just do something! Standing idly by is not acceptable.

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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment Tagged With: college, fighting back, groping, Kate Spencer, New York City, Nicola Briggs, Robyn Shepherd, Shyane DeJesus, street harassment

I’ve Got Your Back Campaign

June 9, 2011 By HKearl

Hollaback is working to launch an important bystander campaign called “I’ve Got Your Back.”

It’s important because we need more bystanders taking action to prevent and stop street harassment. Too often when street harassment occurs, there are plenty of people who see it but don’t do anything. It can feel like an added slap in the face to the person facing harassment and it sets a societal message that the harassing behavior is okay. Also, often the person facing harassment may feel too unsafe to stand up to the harasser, but if s/he knew bystanders would help, s/he may feel safer and more empowered.

The proposed campaign has three parts:

1. In collaboration with the Green Dot Campaign, when bystanders submit stories, there will be green dots to signify those stories.

2. Click on the “we’ve got your back” button (just like you click on a facebook “like” button) and at the end of the day the person who was harassed will get an email saying that hundreds people have their back.  And they will know they aren’t alone.

3.  In partnership with Nancy Schwartzman, director of The Line, they’ll create a short documentary that profiles a young man who tries to stand up for his friends when they are harassed. With the Hollabacks in Buenos Aires, Mumbia, Atlanta they’ll develop interactive workshops to go with it.

Consider donating to Hollaback to help make the campaign happen.

 

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Filed Under: Resources, street harassment Tagged With: bystander campaign, hollaback, i've got your back, Nicola Briggs, sexual violence, street harassment

Two heroes call out their street harassers and their stories inspire other women to be brave

April 19, 2011 By HKearl

I was raised to be polite, quiet, and not hurt people’s feelings, just as so many girls and women have been, and standing up to street harassers (or any harassers) is not something that comes naturally to me. I am in awe, then, of women (and people) who just go for it, who stand up to harassers no matter what, and by doing so, make the world a better place. Today, I want to mention two of them and I consider them to be heroes.

Nicola Briggs

First, this evening, I had the honor to meet Nicola Briggs, the woman who made headlines last fall by calling out a subway pervert who had his penis out against her on the subway (a video of it went viral on YouTube). During the subway incident, Nicola didn’t think about being polite or ladylike, she didn’t worry about making a scene. She called the guy out loudly, got bystanders to help make sure he didn’t get away, and reported him to police. He was arrested and later convicted.

The Islip Area AAUW Branch in New York sponsored me to speak at their local library this evening and Nicola surprised me by coming to the talk! I asked her to share her story for the attendees and everyone was very impressed and inspired. I know I continue to be both impressed and inspired by her presence of mind and determination to make sure he didn’t harass any other woman. Coincidentally, she wrote a guest post on iHollaback today.

Second, today on the ACLU Blog, Robyn Shepherd shared an amazing story of standing up to a street harasser/sexual assaulter. She was on her way to work when a guy whacked her on her rear on the street. She chased the guy down yelled at him and called the police who came and helped her look for him. In the end, he got away, but it was still an important response. She writes,

“I’m realistic. I knew they were never going to arrest this guy. But here’s the thing, and the point to this whole long, profane story. I know there are a lot of people who think it wasn’t that big a deal. But the truth of the matter is, what this guy did was sexual assault. “Forcible touching and harassment,” if you want to get specific.

Sexual assault doesn’t always necessarily mean something as horrible as rape. And too often street harassment is unreported, and douchebags like this think they can get away with it because the girl is gonna be too embarrassed or too meek to do anything about it. Or they think it’s “just a slap on the ass.” And that’s not right, you guys. I don’t know how other women feel about their posteriors, but you don’t very well get to smack the hell out of it willy-nilly because you feel entitled to do so. There will be repercussions.

To the NYPD’s credit, they did follow up, and the detective told me that if I really wanted to press charges, she would help me do that, even if it meant looking through a lot of surveillance tape and looking at lineups and all that stuff. I opted not to, figuring that they had this guy’s description, and if he did it again, he’d be in a lot of trouble. But something tells me he’s not going to. I think I scared him. Or as the detective said, “So you ran up and confronted him and screamed at him in a bank.”

“Yep.”

“…Awesome.”

I know what happened to me could have been a lot, lot worse. But someone doesn’t have to be raped to be humiliated, violated and hurt. Sometimes, all it takes is a smack on the ass.”

Exactly.

It’s our right to be safe on the streets and the subways and buses and in stores and we don’t have to be embarrassed to call out the jerks who try to hurt and humiliate us.

Thank you, Nicola, thank you, Robyn for standing up to harassers and thank you for also sharing those stories. You inspire the rest of us who aren’t as brave to try being brave.

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: Nicola Briggs, Robyn Shepherd, street harassers, subway hero

16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence 2010

November 25, 2010 By HKearl

Today marks the start of 16 days of activism against gender violence.

Aside from writing this quick blog post, I didn’t do anything to mark the day. I’m in India this week and I spent the day visiting the Taj Mahal. It took 10 hours to go the round-trip distance of 250 miles. I saw no gender violence on the streets, but I noticed a stark lack of women. Men were huddled along the road in groups, driving and riding in every possible mode of transportation imaginable, sitting in coffee shops, and crossing the street in large groups. I saw some women walking and riding in vehicles too, but the ratio was perhaps 1:10 or even 1:15, women to men. So while I saw no direct gender violence, the lack of women is partially because of gender violence and gender inequality in the homes and on the streets. Around the world, women’s mobility restriction in public spaces is often caused by a fear of gender violence.

I wrote a bit about this for the Ms blog earlier this week. I also want to direct you to my travel companion’s Ms blog post about the conference we attended earlier this week in Delhi. She highlighted two of the outstanding women we heard from who are working every day to end gender violence and discrimination against women in the slums and against women with disabilities. They are inspirational.

I also want to direct to you to two of the most recent stories about the amazing woman who fought against the gender violence she experienced on the New York City subway system.

  • CBS News: “Subway Flasher Target Breaks Silence“
  • Salon: “What we learned from the subway flasher“

I encourage you to consider doing something in the next 16 days to speak out, act out, or write out against gender violence.

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: 16 days of activism against gender violence, Nicola Briggs, sexual assault, street harassment

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