Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I just wish it would stop happening to me”

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I was out hunting for Pokemon, barely three blocks from my house when a car drove by me and a man yelled that, “I’d F*ck you, n*gger!” It wasn’t even 8 p.m. on a Monday.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I just wish it would stop happening to me.

– Cara

Location: Eugene, OR

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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Germany: In Cologne, Women’s Bodies Should Not Be Used to Promote Racism

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Editor’s Note: Our new Blog Correspondents ProChange in Germany wrote a piece for both Ms. Magazine’s blog and SSH… so this is cross-posted from Ms, with permission.

Following planned attacks on women on New Year’s Eve in Cologne, Germany, more than 500 reports have been made, 40 percent involving sexual assault. In other German cities such as Hamburg, Stuttgart and Düsseldorf, similar cases were also filed.

In Cologne, the police have arrested 21 suspects so far, most of whom have been identified as men from northern African or Arab regions.

Shockingly, in the beginning, there seemed to be no public outcry over the attacks. It was only on January 2, after the local media started covering the incidents and quoted eyewitnesses stating that the perpetrators looked northern Africa or Arab, that suddenly there was outrage.

But instead of turning the incident into an opportunity to stand up for women’s right to be safe in public spaces, many who are against the influx of refugees used the assaults to spread racist hate speech targeting asylum seekers, migrants and foreigners.

While there may have been asylum seekers among the perpetrators, as the newspaper die Welt reported, this racist response is unacceptable. The rhetoric is unjust to both the persons affected and to the many asylum seekers coming to Germany searching for a better life.

Certainly the perpetrators should be punished, no matter where they are from. The German state must use the rule of law to send a strong message that violence against women will not be tolerated. But it is disturbing to see that the body of the “German woman” is being used to promote racist hate speech, and it’s something that has been prevalent throughout the German debate on refugees.

For example, the philology association from Saxony achieved questionable fame for warning young girls against sexual adventures with Muslim men. Under the guise of protecting the young girls, racist stereotypes were promoted and combined with sexist ideas. While Muslim men were portrayed as a potential danger, young girls’ abilities to decide their own sexuality were denied. 

The wildest stories have circulated on social media. For instance, it was claimed that refugees were urinating on vegetables in supermarkets, and stealing goods worth several thousand Euros without punishment. When investigated, it turned out that those wild stories were lies. 

You might assume from scrolling through Facebook that crime has increased with the influx of refugees. But the image of the “criminal refugee” is not backed by crime statistics. In fact, refugees commit crimes at the same rate as the native German population, and the number of sex crimes committed by refugees is actually below 1 percent.

Right-wing political parties, such as the AfD (Alternative for Germany), warn against refugees as potential rapists of German women. Politician Björn Höecke, for instance, spoke about the special risk for blonde (!) German women.

It seems like the right-wing movements have finally discovered an interest in women’s rights. But while the potential rape of “our women” has stirred up hate for the “uncivilized other,” the fact that sexual violence is already prevalent within German society, or that it can affect non-German women as well, seems not to be of interest to them. 

In addition to racist backlash, there has also been a great deal of victim-blaming in the wake of these attacks. This was blatantly clear in the recommendation made by Cologne’s mayor, Henriette Reker, during a press conference following the New Year’s Eve attacks where she spoke about preventive measures for the upcoming carnival celebrations. When asked how women could protect themselves, she answered that it is always possible to maintain a certain distance of more than an arm length from men. Women turned to social media to mock her advice, using the hashtag #einearmlaenge (one arm length). She has since apologized, but the damage has already been done.

Following the attacks, this should be—and still can be—an opportunity to name street harassment and other forms of sexual violence as everyday sexism. It is also the right time to call for a revision of the German penal code to better address these types of offenses.

Every woman should have the right to safely be in public spaces, among men of all races, and in as close proximity as a crowded place dictates. The priority should be to ensure that that is the reality, not to punish the refugees, migrants and asylum seekers who are just as likely to be peaceful, law-abiding residents of Germany as those who are native-born, nor should it be the time to engage in needless victim-blaming.  

ProChange is a group of people between 20 and 64 years of age who have been active for several years or decades now. ProChange consists of a small group of core members (pictured left) in a network of other activists. Our main focus is on street harassment, sexism and sexualized violence. We are opposed to all forms of exploitation as we believe that they are all connected.

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More on the New Year’s Eve German Attacks

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Via Vice News:

“The number of reported New Year’s Eve attacks in Cologne, Germany, has now risen to 516, according to police, who said that 40 percent of those involved sexual assaults.

Meanwhile, authorities also said that a group of six Pakistanis and a Syrian national were attacked in the city late on Sunday night. Two of the Pakistani men were hospitalized after being set upon by about of 20 assailants.

The local Express newspaper reported that Sunday’s attacks had been planned by “rocker and hooligan gangs,” who had used social media to launch a “manhunt” of foreigners.

Tensions remain high in Germany as citizens struggle to comprehend the consequences of the mass attacks on December 31. Blame has fallen on the police for their insufficient reaction, on migrants because of the reported origin of the attackers, and on the German government….

The scale of the New Year’s Eve assaults has given leverage to anti-immigration groups, which have long been calling for Germany to toughen its immigration policies. However, some politicians and women’s rights activists have accused them of using this incident to further their own political aims…..

Women’s rights activists — who stood separately holding signs on the steps of the cathedral — were verbally attacked by passersby, who called them dumb and stupid for suggesting that sexual assaults happen all over the world, and that perpetrators can be of all nationalities.””

And via DW.com:

“A few kilometers away, in the “Multi Kulti” center in the neighborhood of Mülheim, several women have gathered in an attempt to work out what measures should be taken to make the streets of Cologne safe again.

“No one is talking about the fact that this is happening to women every day,” Tanja, an activist and one of the initiators of the event told DW.

“People are insisting on making this a political story, trying to shift the focus on pro- or anti-refugees. But in fact, no one is listening to what we have to say – the women who have been suffering from this violence in the streets on a daily basis long before refugees even came here,” she says.

The violence on New Year’s Eve was not different from that during any other big-scale celebration in the city, according to Tanja. “Because refugees are now a burning topic, the media all of a sudden report about these events, but what nobody wants to admit is that these things happen all the time. I’m sorry to break this to you, but German-born men also harass and rape.”

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16 Days of Activism: My name is NOT Light-Skinned

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Welcome to the third day of 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence. Here is the third name that women do NOT want to be called by men they do not know when they’re in public places. (All 16 names were submitted via Twitter or Facebook.)

Ending the social acceptability of men calling women these names takes us one step closer to creating a culture where gender violence doesn’t happen. Read more about the connection between gender violence and the inappropriate and demeaning names that men call women they don’t know.

Don’t let harassers off the hook: respond | report | share your story.

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At the breaking point because of constant harassment

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I went through complete and utter hell earlier this evening, and I would not wish what I’d went through on my worst enemy. If my story sounds disjointed it’s because I’m still recovering from the events of today.

I was not having the best day. Today was a slow day at work and it didn’t help that I found out at a dentist appointment before work that I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled. Swell.

I normally take the C&O Canal to the Key Bridge to walk home from work, feeling that it’s an escape from the foot traffic and chaos of M Street. My usually peaceful walk up the canal was interrupted by a bunch of loud, obnoxious guys that were hanging out at the top of the exit I use to get off the canal and to the Key Bridge. The way they were hanging around the exit taking up space made me uncomfortable, but I ignored them and kept walking.

As I get to the bridge and start walking, I’m listening to music and am in my own world. I hadn’t realized I was in someone’s way. This average-looking, middle-aged white guy in business casual attire starts yelling at me.

“I’M TRYING TO FUCKING GET AROUND YOU!” he yelled through clenched teeth.

“Sorry!” I said. “You don’t need to curse at me. If you said ‘Excuse me’ I would’ve moved.”

This guy was so angry and unhinged that no apology would’ve calmed him down. And it shows how much I stereotype harassers…I’m so used to being harassed by grungy guys on the corner that I wasn’t expecting it from a middle class-looking guy. But as I said, this guy was so full of rage that I could’ve offered him a million dollars and he still would’ve shot hatred towards me.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” the guy yelled in response to my apology. He looked uptight and I was just the victim he chose to attack.

“Don’t take your bad day out on me! This is a sidewalk, not a relay race!” I snapped back.

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH YOU FUCKING NIGGER! I’M TIRED OF FUCKING HEARING YOU TALK!” he said. I was taken aback. Nothing I’d done warranted his behavior. Not a thing

“Uptight, crazy racist bastard!” I yelled. What pissed me off is that he could easily let that hateful term roll off his tongue, bully and belittle me, then continue walking on as if nothing happened. And of course, people walked by and watched, but did nothing. No one asked if I was okay or came up to me and said “We saw what happened. Are you okay?” Nope. I’m just the black chick no one gives a shit about.

I called the police as I crossed the bridge, keeping a safe distance to trail this guy. I took a photo of him, but I was too far away to get a good shot (and behind him so I couldn’t get a shot of his face) and was just too afraid to get close enough to get a shot of his face. This guy was insane and wasn’t worth getting that perfect shot.

I lost the guy at Lynn and 19th, and was told to wait for the police there. While I waited for the police I called my mother. I was shaken up, but at that point I had an attitude of, “Can you believe the day I just had?” and I just wanted to get home. Talking to her actually made me feel worse than I did when randomly called “nigger” by some racist prick.

“See?” she said. “You’re always quick to judge people by their outside, calling them ‘ghetto’, so this nicely-dressed guy says something it just shows you can’t judge people on their outer appearance.” I felt that I was being attacked.

Also, “Maybe this guy had a bad experience with black people and you just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time,” she said. (Both my mother and I are black.)

“That doesn’t mean he needs to take it out on me like that,” I said. “No one deserves that.” (Would it make it okay for me to take my anger out on any random white person because of the racism of this idiot? Nope! Two wrongs do not make a right.)

“True,” my mother says. “And he probably wouldn’t have said anything if you were a big, black male.” (At least we agreed on something.)

“(My name), you are always having problems when you’re out and about,” she continued. “How is it that someone else can go about their day and nothing like this happens, but with you it happens every single day? You’re always having a problem and are always calling the police. The police probably has a record with all the times you’ve called with your name and number. How does that look?”

I’m standing out in public on a street corner waiting for the police, on the phone getting put down by my mother. I called her out on it and she denied that that was what she was trying to do, but that’s what it felt like. And she is too damned concerned with appearances. “You call the police all the time…how does that look?” “You react to everything on the street…how does that look?”

The police came (10 minutes after this guy was long gone) and I showed the officer the photo of the man who berated me on my phone and gave a description of him. He said he’d look around for him, but pretty much said that since he fits the description of every other middle-aged, middle-class white guy who lives in Arlington, it’d be hard to find him. So it was pretty much a lost cause.

I continue on my way home, once again on the phone with my mother, and I walk past these guys who I know are homeless (I’ve seen them in line waiting for the free meals that get handed out at Gateway Park) and who looked to be in a state of intoxication. They staggered as they walked and slurred their words. One of them got really close to me, stared at my chest and said “How ya doin’, Sweetheart?” Yuck.

“My name is not ‘Sweetheart’,” I snapped.

“What is your name then?” the loser says.

“Miss or Ma’am!” I snap.

My mother overhears this and is yelling at me on the phone to “Stop reacting to them! You are judging people by their appearance again! He could’ve been a guardian angel…” I love my mother, but at this point I was thinking, “Are you fucking kidding me?!” This wasn’t a random test where an angel was disguised as a disheveled-looking man to test human kindness—this was real life and my real life involves me getting harassed by every damn Tom, Dick and Harry all the damn time!

“This man was looking at my chest and was in my face calling me ‘Sweetheart’,” I said.

“But you’re reacting to it again, and now he’s going to react negatively like the other guy…” my mother says.

“I don’t care,” I said. “I’m past him so whatever nasty thing he has to say in response I would’ve have been able to hear.”

“Why do you continue to react to them? Do you think it’s going to make him change his behavior? Stop it!” she says.

I am glad she ended the call a minute or two later because I couldn’t take this anymore. I was so broken down that when I continued walking home I wasn’t paying attention when I crossed a street, and hadn’t noticed a light had turned green on me and an SUV was ready to run me over. A cyclist that rode by made a gesture at me implying I was stupid.

I felt stupid…and worthless, invisible, a target, a victim, and just lonely. I wish I had someone there to say, “I am so sorry that happened to you,” not to wonder what’s wrong with me to cause me to have all these issues on the street.

Being called “nigger” isn’t what hurt me, nor being ogled like a piece of meat, but having my mother discredit what I’ve gone through as me being “judgmental” and what these men do to me being a form of karma. I hate having my experiences be belittled and treated as if I’m crazy and deserving of this. But with that kind of reaction from those who are supposed to love and care about me, I’m starting to wonder if there is something wrong with me that this nonsense continuously happens to me. I think I’ve reached my harassment breaking point. I cannot take this anymore.

Commenters, please don’t put down my mother. I definitely don’t agree with her take on this and feel that she honestly doesn’t know how to react to it since she doesn’t go through it herself, but she is my mother regardless. I just wish one day she will finally understand what I go through and realize that I’m not the problem and that I don’t have to change…the men on the street who do this do.

I just wish I had someone I could talk to about all the drama I go through on the streets. My mother is obviously not that someone and I need to stop telling her everything I go through. I wish I had a support group of people who get harassed as frequently as I do.

– “Tired of Being Harassed”

Location: Arlington, VA

Racist harasser: Key Bridge
Leering harasser: Pedestrian Bridge next to the Contintental Restaurant

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