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Neighborhood Protectors

August 28, 2009 By HKearl

The Philadelphia Daily News reported that last week in Philadelphia, PA, a young woman had been waiting at a bus stop to go to work when a man approached her, demanded her purse and cell phone at gun point, then forced her into a nearby alley and sexually assaulted her. When he showed up in her neighborhood again, the young woman spotted him and started yelling, “He raped me! He raped me!” as she chased him down. Her neighbors joined in the chase and helped detain the man until the police arrived. Neighbors interviewed for the article said:

“I got a daughter myself – I hope someone would do the same for my kid,” and another one said that sexual assaults aren’t a crime anybody takes lightly in the neighborhood. “Everybody is like family around here and that’s one thing we don’t play,” he said. “That’s the crazy stuff out here.”

The article notes that something similar happened in Philadelphia earlier this summer when neighbors detained a man who raped an 11-year old girl (when she was on her way to school) until the police arrived.

Too often survivors of sexual assault (both female and male) are not believed  so I am glad these neighbors took the complaints seriously and made sure the men could not escape until police arrived.

These stories remind me of something I read a few days ago in Marilyn French’s book From Eve to Dawn: A History of Women in the World (volume 1). In the Intro, she wrote about how 1000s of years ago, most people lived in matricentries, meaning families were centered around the mothers (in part because they didn’t completely understand men’s roles in procreation). Women used land and passed it on to their daughters while men migrated from other clans to mate with them. Children were named for their mothers and stayed with their mothers until they were grown and then usually stayed nearby much of the time.

She writes, “Nor, in such societies, could men abuse their wives, who were surrounded by family members who would protect them” (French, 8). A woman’s family and community helped keep her safe in general. But then, in time, men better realized their role in procreation and started taking women away from their families in an effort to control their reproduction and ensure paternity, and that’s when acts of violence against women seemed to start.

I like this idea of neighbors/community/family as protectors, though it’s not always possible, especially when, in our society today, there is so much abuse within those relationships. I think the Philadelphia stories and French’s book also speak to the importance of bystander intervention by men and women – both to intercede and prevent harassment and assault from occurring in the first place and to hold harassers/assaulters accountable for their actions. Being better about intervening and becoming protectors for those in our neighborhood is something we can all try to do.

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: child rape, From Eve to Dawn: A History of Women in the World, marilyn french, matricentries, neighbordhood protectors, PA, philadelphia, rape, sexual assault, women's history

Denied Peace of Mind

August 20, 2009 By HKearl

I’m skipping work for a few days to write a few chapters of my street harassment book. Near the hotel where I’m staying (to flee distractions), there is a beautiful trail alongside the Potomac River and before buckling down to write yesterday and today I went for a run on it. Having never run there before though, I ran with my phone and kept alert and I ran in a different direction each day. I quickly found out that the trail was isolated, deserted, and mostly far from any roads, buildings, or even people. The beauty of the scenery was dimmed by my hyper awareness of every unusual sound and nervousness when I passed by a few lone men because of the isolation. No one harassed or attacked me but, as any woman who is out alone in a deserted area knows, there is rarely relief from the fear that one day you’ll be the wrong woman in the wrong place at the wrong time.

This afternoon, after more than six hours of writing and a self-imposed internet ban, I came online to do a bit more research for the chapter I’m writing. When I also checked e-mail, I saw a friend had sent me a relevant link to an article in the Phildalphia Daily News called “Staying safe on the run” about the harassment and risk of assault women runners, including the article author, regularly face. She shares a recent story about being harassed while on a run and then highlights some of the women who have been in the news recently because they were abducted or assualted while running.

Ugh. As a runner, I have had men honk and whistle and make kissing noises at me, some have said sexually explicit comments, and two men followed me on two separate occasions, one by car and another on foot. As precautions against assault, I rarely run with music, I mix up my routes and the time of day I run so I don’t become predictable, I don’t run in the dark, and if I am running somewhere new, I usually run with my phone. Sometimes I wish I was a man because that would make being a runner so much easier.

Aside from my own experiences and those detailed in the Philly article, in the last few months I’ve reported on a female runner being attacked in New York, followed in Delaware, and murdered in Vancouver. I plan to address the particular issues that face women runners – and walkers and cyclists – in my book in a chapter that details ways women alter their lives because of actual or feared harassment.

Wouldn’t it be nice if men never harassed or assaulted women? Then we could run in peace and with peace of mind.

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: attack, philadelphia, rape, safety, sexual assault, street harassment, women runners

NYC Subway Rape Victim Speaks Out

April 6, 2009 By HKearl

NYC Subway Rape Case: Maria BesedinThe young woman whose lawsuit was recently dismissed against the MTA and the employees who did very little to help her duing a brutal sexual assault on a NYC subway platform has spoken out.

“Speaking for the first time since the ruling, Maria Besedin said Thursday she never expected the toll booth clerk and train conductor who witnessed the 2005 attack to be heroes and put their own lives in danger. But, she said, they didn’t even call 911, or yell, ‘Stop!’

Besedin hoped to have her day in court so a jury could decide if the MTA staffers were negligent for only alerting central command. She believed her case would make the system safer for all users.

‘I’m honestly still in shock,’ she said of Queens Supreme Court Justice Kevin Kerrigan’s decision Tuesday to quash the suit.

‘It’s so hard for me to process this whole thing because I just really wanted everyone out there to be safe, to never have to experience anything like I did.’

The petite 25-year-old was still visibly shaken by her ordeal, which happened at the 21st St. station in Hunters Point on June 7, 2005, two days before her 22nd birthday.

She said suffers flashbacks, posttraumatic stress disorder, and continues to undergo therapy and take anti-anxiety medication. She has dropped out of college and lives with her parents in Rhode Island. …

‘I think it was beyond negligence, it was obvious that an extremely violent crime was going on.’

‘By the time somebody came, I mean, I had lost all my dignity, and it was over,’ she added.

Besedin’s lawyer, Chris Seeger of the firm Seeger Weiss, says he plans to appeal within days.

‘Yes, I do want justice,’ said Besedin, who still rides the subway.

As for the court system that rejected her case, she said, ‘It means that they don’t really understand exactly what negligence is and what the impact . . . this kind of atrocious thing can have,’ she said.”

Agreed. Let’s hope the appeal works. Her case could lead to important changes within the MTA.

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Filed Under: Administrator Tagged With: 911, flashbacks, Kevin Kerrigan, Maria Besedin, MTA, new york rape case, PST, queens supreme court, rape, sexual assault, subway

Judge Throws Out Subway Rape Case

April 2, 2009 By HKearl

Remember the young woman in NYC who was raped by a man on a subway platform and sued the MTA and the two employees who essentially sat by (after calling the command center) while she was raped? Well, I just read that the judge has thrown out the suit.

scalejustice“In a nine-page ruling, Queens Supreme Court Justice Kevin Kerrigan concluded a token clerk and a subway conductor had no responsibility to intervene and were following work rules by not confronting the rapist.”

Meanwhile the attacker has never been caught. Surveillance video failed to capture the attack.

The woman who was raped is understandably devastated and she has 30 days to decide whether to appeal the judge’s decision.

It is difficult to say if any of us would have acted any differently had we been the MTA workers, especially if they were following company protocol. But at the same time, I have a hard time not feeling appalled and outraged that they knew this was occurring but they only did the bare minimum to stop it.  I really wish the outcome could have been different.

It’s Sexual Assault Awareness & Prevention Month right now, and while people are much more likely to be sexually assaulted by someone they know, these types of random attacks happen too. At the very least, MTA may want to rethink their procedure and/or protocol for when assaults do occur so that they can respond better to literal cries for help… And maybe if she appeals and gets to have a lawsuit, they will HAVE to rethink it.

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Filed Under: Administrator Tagged With: cries for help, Kevin Kerrigan, lawsuit, MTA, New York City, NYC, Queens, rape, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, subway rape

Men can stop street harassment

December 2, 2008 By HKearl

Street harassment and rape are related in many ways. For example, a fear that street harassment will escalate into a rape attempt is not an uncommon reaction for many women (especially when the harassment takes the form of stalking, physical contact, and sexually violent language).

Like rape, street harassment isn’t going to end until men – the majority of the perpetrators – work to end it. The fact is, women can take every precaution told to them (which limits their freedom and sense of safety) and some of them will still be raped or street harassed. The answer is for men to stop their behavior.

Women can help educate men to stop and can make men’s actions have consequences by reporting them, calling them out on their actions, and intervening when other women are harassed, etc. But ultimately, we can only accomplish so much without men’s cooperation and participation. I know that most men don’t engage in street harassment, just like most men don’t rape, but all men need to hold each other accountable for that kind of behavior and help make it socially unacceptable.

I just came across a “Ten things men can do to stop rape” list issued by Kansas State University and I’m adapting several of their suggestions to address ways men can stop street harassment:

Things that Men Can Do

  1. Be Aware of Language. Words often demean or put down women. Avoid using words like bitch, whore, ditz, bimbo, and ho and language that reduces women to their body parts. That language sends a negative message about females that devalues them. Seeing them in such a light makes it easier to treat them disrespectfully or to view them as stupid or to only value them in a sexual way.
  2. Speak Up. If your friends are engaging in behavior that is making women uncomfortable or that is clearly inappropriate, don’t participate, don’t encourage them, and tell them to stop. When you see street harassment occurring, intervene and help end the incident. You may not always see street harassment occurring but you will likely hear jokes and language that is inappropriate, makes light of rape or the harassment of women, or degrades women. When that happens, don’t laugh, don’t encourage the speaker, and tell him or her to stop.
  3. Support Survivors of Street Harassment. Street harassment will not be taken seriously until everyone understands how common it is and stops blaming women for its occurrence. In the U.S. alone, millions of women are harassed each year. By learning to sensitively support women who experience and report street harassment, men can help individuals feel more comfortable about coming forward and talking about what has happened to them (and may be happening to them quite regularly) and the impact street harassment has on their lives and well being.
  4. Talk with Women. Listen to women’s stories to learn how street harassment & the fear of rape affects their daily lives. Try to understand how it feels to be harassed or “complimented” over and over by random men. Conceptualize what it’s like to go in public and get followed or touched by a man or group of men after having been told since a young age that women are at risk of rape by strangers.
  5. Talk with Men. Talk about what it is like to be viewed as a potential harasser or rapist. Talk about how they would feel if a woman they loved was harassed on the street or in other public places. Talk about appropriate ways to express an interest in a woman you see in public.
  6. Contribute Your Time and Money. Join or donate to an organization working to prevent street harassment, like Right Rides in NYC.
  7. Work against ALL oppression. The harassment of women feeds off of all forms of prejudice including racism and homophobia. By speaking out against behaviors that promote one group as being superior to another, you support everyone’s equality.
  8. Don’t do it. Don’t ever harass a woman or do anything that may make her feel demeaned, uncomfortable, scared, or angry. If you are in doubt about a comment or action, just don’t do it. Act respectfully toward anyone you encounter.

Do you have other suggestions?

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Filed Under: Administrator Tagged With: catcalling, human rights, men can stop rape, rape, street harassment, what men can do

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