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2011 Anti-Street Harassment Successes – Part 4

December 30, 2011 By HKearl

Reflecting on the number of people and organizations that worked hard to address and end street harassment is inspiring.  This end-of-year list is longer than last year’s list, and that’s a very good thing. Given the length, it’s divided into four posts.

Post 1: Significant successes overall and 8 SSH successes.

Post 2: New anti-street harassment campaigns.

Post 3: New creative anti-street harassment initiatives.

Post 4 (this one): People who stood up to harassers and spoke out about harassment/assault on the streets.

Standing Up, Speaking Out

These are just 20 of the many courageous individuals who did not stay silent in the face of harassment or assault on the streets. They inspire me, as I hope they’ll inspire you.

1. In Egypt, many women at Tahrir Square in Egypt faced sexual harassment and sexual assault, mostly at the hands of the military police. Two high-profile journalists Lara Logan and Mona Eltahawy were among the women sexually assaulted and they both bravely spoke out about their experiences to bring attention to what women face when simply participating in political activism alongside their male peers.

2. Naama Margolese is a second-grader living in Israel who faced sexual harassment from ultra-orthodox Jewish men on her way to school. They called her a “whore” because of the clothes she wore. She’s shared her experience and how it makes her feel on international television, sparking protests and new police attention to the matter of ultra-orthodox Jewish men harassing women.

3. On the ACLU’s blog Robyn Shepherd (USA) recounted how a man whacked her butt when she was walking to work one morning. She ran after him. When she caught up to him she demanded, “You think that shit is funny? You like hitting women, huh? You think that’s the correct way to act? Whatsamatterwithyou?” and he said, “Ma’am I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She retorted with, “”You know goddamn well what I’m talking about. YOU DON’T HIT WOMEN, ASSHOLE.” Robyn ended up calling the police and four officers came to help her though he was gone by the time they arrived. At the end of her story, she notes, “I know what happened to me could have been a lot, lot worse. But someone doesn’t have to be raped to be humiliated, violated and hurt. Sometimes, all it takes is a smack on the ass.”

4. 22-year old college student Shyane DeJesus attacked, berated, and snapped a cell phone picture of a man who groped her on a subway platform in New York City (USA). A few days later she picked him out of a line-up of suspects. She advises women, “Don’t let them scare you. They’re cowards.”

5. “You got great legs baby!” a 43-year-old man told Brittney, a 15-year-old girl, as she waited for the subway on her way to school (USA). In response, she said, “Excuse me, you probably have a daughter older than me.” Unconcerned by that thought he said, “Sorry you just look so sexy in that schoolgirl outfit I couldn’t help it and you do have great legs.” Undeterred, Brittney said, “Sexual harassment is a crime, leave me alone or I will report you,” and the harasser hurried away. At the end of her story she wrote, “I count that as a win for me because I hear things like that all the time and I finally stood up for myself and said something.”

6. In Jakarta, Indonesia, a man was arrested for sexual harassment after a rubbing against another passenger in a sexual way. Another passenger witnessed it and alerted everyone on the bus and the bus driver handed the man over to the police.

7. K. Wilkins in Ontario, Canada, was locking her bike up outside a bank and witnessed three men harass two women walking near them.  She said the women looked so uncomfortable and so she took a deep breath and yelled across the street, “You, stop harassing these women.”  The harassers booed her, but the young women thanked her. She said, “I witness, hear about, and am subjected to this bullshit daily. I am speaking out!!”

8. Luis Enrique Sossa Maltese, a 39-year-old carpenter, was sentenced to four years and six months in prison for groping a 25-year-old woman near Central Park and the Plaza of Social Guarantees in San Jose, Costa Rica. The survivor of this sexual assault came forward and reported him, she said, to seek justice and the ability to to walk through the streets without fearing he will assault her again.

9. RDH in Tennessee (USA) was walking home after dark and a car started creeping behind her. The driver lowered the car window and asked if he could “hollar” at her. RDH was scared, but she still stood up to him. She asked him how he would like it if his mother or sister was walking and some random stranger came creeping up behind them. She ended up getting an apology.

10. LH in Lyon, France, advised women to give harassers “an angry look, a loud ” no!” or just a hiss; every reaction helps. They will never understand if we don’t express ourselves.”

11. After years of street harassment experiences, when a man groped Kate Spencer on a subway platform in New York City (USA), she wrote, “Without thinking I turned around and hit him as hard as I possibly could. I didn’t even stop walking, nor did I say anything. I did turn around to look at him as I hit him, and his face was one of shock but not of surprise. He knew why I had hit him; he just couldn’t believe he hadn’t gotten away with it.”

12. Noticing a group of construction workers harassing women passing by, a man in Sydney, Australia, took out his cell phone and pretended to film them with it. When the men noticed what he was doing, they scattered and stopped bothering passersby.

13. Two construction workers in the United Kingdom were suspended from work for harassing a woman walking by their work site at Fish Hill Square. After the husband of a harassed woman issued a complaint, the managing director Thomas O’Mahony said, ‘We acted within half-an-hour of being alerted to the complaint. It’s company policy to immediately suspend anyone who is made the subject of a complaint by the public. ‘We don’t tolerate wolf-whistling or any form of sexual harassment. It’s unacceptable – we are in the public eye and our image is important.”

14. Jane was tired of construction workers congregating on her street leering at women walking by. She emailed the construction company and after that the men no longer stood around on the street leering at women.

15. Anonymous in Washington, D.C. (USA), said, “Stop harassing women” to a man who was harassing every woman walking by him as he stood outside Union Station. Her directive silenced him.

16. Two male university students in Delhi, India, stopped a group of street harassers from bothering a female student simply by joining her as she was walking and chatting with her about classes. The harassers quickly left her alone once she was no longer alone and an easy target.

17. After facing lots of harassment from construction workers near her house, a woman in Sydney, Australia, wrote a letter of complaint to the development company. Two days later, when the foreman saw her, he politely let her know that he would speak to the men and that if the harassment happened again to seek him out or contact the company again.

18. Anne was at a McDonald’s in Vermont (USA) with a friend when she noticed a young man two tables over was leering at them. Then she noticed he was masturbating. She said, “Stop that right now! That is not okay!” He denied doing anything so she notified the manager on duty, and called the police.

19. Tired of dealing with street harassers, anonymous in North Carolina (USA) decided to retort back when a man sitting on a bench outside the library told her she was “So Beautiful.” She turned and looked into his eyes and told him, “You’re not.” She wrote, “Commenting on a strange woman’s physical appearance is rude and insensitive – it is ugly. I don’t care if people look at me, but no one has the right to speak to me, touch me or approach me.”

20. Allison in Massachusetts (USA) confronted a street harasser for the first time. A man said, “Smile beautiful,” as she waited for a bus. After freezing initially, she followed him and said, “Just so you know, it doesn’t make women feel good when you tell them to smile. Sometimes people have shitty days and they don’t feel like smiling. It’s offensive to just tell them to smile.”  He apologized.

 

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: Lara Logan, Mona Eltahawy, Naama Margolese, Robyn Shepherd, Shyane DeJesus, Tahrir Square

“I yelled that he just groped me. I literally started punching him in the head”

November 4, 2011 By HKearl

Via NY Post -- Shyane DeJesus

22-year old college student Shyane DeJesus attacked, berated, and snapped a cell phone picture of a man who groped her on a subway platform in New York City.

From the New York Post:

“DeJesus, who lives in Queens, was headed to work at a shoe store at 9:50 a.m. Oct. 23 when the drama unfolded as she stood on the platform and leaned over the tracks to see if a train was coming.

That’s when she noticed a man sneaking up alongside her.

Before DeJesus could step away, the deviant began rubbing against her thigh.

“It was disgusting,” she said. “I felt so violated.”

When the downtown No. 6 train arrived, the man “grabbed my right shoulder and pushed my head down and lifted my skirt up and groped me,” DeJesus said.

Via NYPost -- Report this man if you see him!

She began fighting back, and the cowardly creep ran onto the train.

“He went on the train and sat down as if nothing happened. I was hysterical. I yelled that he just groped me. I literally started punching him in the head,” she said.

No one came to her aid.

DeJesus got in a few more knocks on her attacker, and, as the train pulled in to the next station, took her phone out of her bag.

“I held the door and positioned the phone in his face. I was shaking, I’m surprised I got it,” she said.

“He smirked when I looked at him. He never said a word, not a word. All I got was that smirk.”

DeJesus then got off the train and ran to her job, where she called police.

Cops are still searching for the man.”

While I don’t condone violence, I sympathize with her actions. When man after man gets away with sexually harassing, stalking, groping, and assaulting women on the streets, subway platforms, buses, and stores of our country, and when bystanders stand by and let it happen, there comes a breaking point. Maybe after getting kicked and yelled at by a person he thought he could easily grope, this perpetrator won’t be so quick to grope someone else. Especially if the police catch him. Good for DeJesus.

DeJesus is not the only New York City woman to have this type of reaction to groping. In the past year, we’ve heard from Nicola Briggs who was videotaped yelling down the man who rubbed against her and flashed her on the subway (he was later arrested and deported), Kate Spencer who hit the man who groped her on a subway platform, and Robyn Shepherd who chased down a man who smacked her butt as she walked down the street.

Street harassers, beware: more and more women are fighting back and not just figuratively and not just online, but actually, physically fighting back. So stop harassing us. We don’t like it, no one does. If you continue to harass us, you may just find out how much we don’t like it when you get a slap to the face or a kick to the groin. I don’t like violence, I don’t like harassment. Stop the harassment, there will be no violence.

And bystanders: do something if you see another person facing harassment! Ask them if they’re okay if you’re not sure if they’re being harassed or not. Just do something! Standing idly by is not acceptable.

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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment Tagged With: college, fighting back, groping, Kate Spencer, New York City, Nicola Briggs, Robyn Shepherd, Shyane DeJesus, street harassment

Two heroes call out their street harassers and their stories inspire other women to be brave

April 19, 2011 By HKearl

I was raised to be polite, quiet, and not hurt people’s feelings, just as so many girls and women have been, and standing up to street harassers (or any harassers) is not something that comes naturally to me. I am in awe, then, of women (and people) who just go for it, who stand up to harassers no matter what, and by doing so, make the world a better place. Today, I want to mention two of them and I consider them to be heroes.

Nicola Briggs

First, this evening, I had the honor to meet Nicola Briggs, the woman who made headlines last fall by calling out a subway pervert who had his penis out against her on the subway (a video of it went viral on YouTube). During the subway incident, Nicola didn’t think about being polite or ladylike, she didn’t worry about making a scene. She called the guy out loudly, got bystanders to help make sure he didn’t get away, and reported him to police. He was arrested and later convicted.

The Islip Area AAUW Branch in New York sponsored me to speak at their local library this evening and Nicola surprised me by coming to the talk! I asked her to share her story for the attendees and everyone was very impressed and inspired. I know I continue to be both impressed and inspired by her presence of mind and determination to make sure he didn’t harass any other woman. Coincidentally, she wrote a guest post on iHollaback today.

Second, today on the ACLU Blog, Robyn Shepherd shared an amazing story of standing up to a street harasser/sexual assaulter. She was on her way to work when a guy whacked her on her rear on the street. She chased the guy down yelled at him and called the police who came and helped her look for him. In the end, he got away, but it was still an important response. She writes,

“I’m realistic. I knew they were never going to arrest this guy. But here’s the thing, and the point to this whole long, profane story. I know there are a lot of people who think it wasn’t that big a deal. But the truth of the matter is, what this guy did was sexual assault. “Forcible touching and harassment,” if you want to get specific.

Sexual assault doesn’t always necessarily mean something as horrible as rape. And too often street harassment is unreported, and douchebags like this think they can get away with it because the girl is gonna be too embarrassed or too meek to do anything about it. Or they think it’s “just a slap on the ass.” And that’s not right, you guys. I don’t know how other women feel about their posteriors, but you don’t very well get to smack the hell out of it willy-nilly because you feel entitled to do so. There will be repercussions.

To the NYPD’s credit, they did follow up, and the detective told me that if I really wanted to press charges, she would help me do that, even if it meant looking through a lot of surveillance tape and looking at lineups and all that stuff. I opted not to, figuring that they had this guy’s description, and if he did it again, he’d be in a lot of trouble. But something tells me he’s not going to. I think I scared him. Or as the detective said, “So you ran up and confronted him and screamed at him in a bank.”

“Yep.”

“…Awesome.”

I know what happened to me could have been a lot, lot worse. But someone doesn’t have to be raped to be humiliated, violated and hurt. Sometimes, all it takes is a smack on the ass.”

Exactly.

It’s our right to be safe on the streets and the subways and buses and in stores and we don’t have to be embarrassed to call out the jerks who try to hurt and humiliate us.

Thank you, Nicola, thank you, Robyn for standing up to harassers and thank you for also sharing those stories. You inspire the rest of us who aren’t as brave to try being brave.

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: Nicola Briggs, Robyn Shepherd, street harassers, subway hero

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