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“I’m done with seeing it as normal”

June 15, 2017 By Contributor

Trigger Warning – Rape

I want to cry as I share this, even though none of my story can be considered shocking. It is all too common for people to experience what I have experienced. For so many it is even worse.

My mother was raped when she was 23 while out for a run. She didn’t tell me this until I was in high school. Later I found out the only reason she told us was because my older sister, having heard about it from a cousin, had spent a year thinking she was the child of the rapist (which she was not). I didn’t fully understand the implications of my mother’s story at the time. I felt confusion and anger, which only made me more confused. My mother not only survived the assault, she has thrived and is the strongest person I know. Though she continues to cope with PTSD, she has fully moved on with her life. But I haven’t. It’s been 10 years since she told me. Sometimes I feel like it happened yesterday. I can’t watch movies with rape scenes, I can’t even say the word “rape” out loud. Typing it is easier.

I feel an almost uncontrollable, black and red rage when I am faced with what the majority of women experience: street harassment. Especially when exercising. Fitness is my passion, and is what I consider to be my “safe, happy place”. Yet while running I have been cat-called, stared at, followed for eight blocks by a car filled with jeering men. I’ve read hundreds of stories of other women being blocked, threatened, followed, assaulted or even murdered while exercising. My friend was chased by a 13-year-old boy who hit her on the ass with a stick once he caught her. My other friend was groped while running with me, and after I chased the man (let’s say ‘boy’) he was shocked by the confrontation and said, “It’s okay because I’m gay!”

While traveling, I admit to being intimidated into working out indoors. I feel shame and anger when I do this, thinking I should be brave enough. I’ve been followed by a strange man down a street in broad daylight. I’ve had my ass pinched, slapped, or grabbed at least three times in recent memory. I’ve been called “hey, baby” by strangers in several languages depending on what country I’m in, told how good I look “in those shorts” and that I shouldn’t be offended because he was just “talking to me and giving me a compliment”. I’ve had my knee caressed by a stranger walking past me in a bar, right in front of my male date. Who did nothing. I did nothing – I felt like I missed my opportunity and was almost not even surprised. Even though I try to react in the moment, even though I try to block it all out and stay positive, my night is always ruined. It triggers memories and feelings that aren’t mine – I feel a terrible, terrible sadness, loss of control, and thoughts of my mother – and feelings that are mine. Indignant, angry, disgusted, confused, as if something must be wrong with me because this type of thing is normal, right? Just part of being a woman? Is it normal to feel like you can’t have one night to relax and loosen up because this lets both your emotional and physical guard down? I can’t remember the last time I felt safe to do this.

Well, I’m done. I’m done with seeing it as normal. I’m tired of “sucking it up” and staying silent. The President of the United States has harassed women and subsequently bragged about it. He was elected. I am tired of having this issue downplayed by both men and women — men out of ignorance or spite, women out of fear that they will be seen as “crazy feminists”, “too serious”, “unable to take a joke”, “rocking the boat”. That is almost the worst part — that women can occasionally feel resistance from other women about confronting this issue. I’m done with dressing down or up based on what I think will help me blend in and not attract attention. I’m tired of reading advice for female travelers that they can control the dial of harassment by what they wear. It just isn’t true.

I don’t know if anyone has had the exact same experiences. But I know I’m not alone in having the shitty feelings in the wake of harassment. Reactions and coping mechanisms take many forms and I’m only beginning to understand them. What I hate to see is women avoiding exercise altogether out of fear (I know I have), and I hope to help change this. My mother has competed in 4 marathons, including the Boston, since the assault, and runs 6 miles every day. I am so proud to know her. If she can keep running, I will too and hope other women will as well! I’m grateful to read about the activists taking a stand.

I’m also grateful to Runner’s World for publishing their recent article “Running While Female” and to Holly Kearl for her books and blog. I plan to start my own as I continue to live my privileged, love-filled life, and hope I can pay it forward and make a difference. I want to join the movement.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Make “No Harassment” signs as common as speed limit signs, no smoking signs, children at play signs. Educating young boys and girls, as well as men, about what being a man means and how to confront your friends when they harass women.

– AJD

Location: California, Scotland, Spain, Thailand – street, parking lot,

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
s.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: running

Harassment in the Boston Marathon 50 Years Ago

April 17, 2017 By HKearl

Katherine Switzer in 1967. Image via Deadspin

A Runner’s World survey conducted last year found that many American women runners face street harassment and elite women runners like Kara Goucher and trailblazers like Katherine Switzer are are no exception! Fifty years ago men tried to pull Switzer off the course of the Boston Marathon when they saw she was female!! Other male runners placed themselves around her to protect her and she was able to finish. Today, she ran it again at age 70. She talks about that epic 1967 run here and in her book Marathon Woman.

As some one who ran her first marathon at age 14, I am grateful to her and other women like her who blazed the way for me and my peers. It was a real honor to meet her a few years ago! May one day we all be able to run harassment-free.

Holly and Katherine Switzer at a Title IX event in 2012
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Filed Under: street harassment Tagged With: boston marathon, katherine switzer, marathon, running

UK Campaign, Philippines Law

February 15, 2017 By HKearl

Two big stories this week –> a new anti-harassment campaign in the UK and a new law introduced in the Philippines

Via The Gazette

“A poll by England Athletics revealed that a large proportion of women feel anxious when running alone, with nearly half of those surveyed stating that this is due to personal safety concerns…

Of those who had experienced harassment, shouting and car horns beeped by passing motorists were the most common.

But RunTogether, a national programme from England Athletics to get more people jogging regularly, aims to erase this via its This Girl Can Run campaign…

The RunTogether website provides instant access to a rapidly growing network of multiple local running groups in Lancashire.”

Via the Manila Bulletin:

“Sen. Risa Hontiveros [in the Philippines] filed on Tuesday a bill that seeks to protect women and members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community from harassment, especially on the streets and other public spaces.

Hontiveros said she filed the measure, Senate Bill 1326, in response to the growing number of gender-based harassment in public spaces such as the case of a female student from the University of Santo Tomas (UST) who was allegedly groped in a public utility vehicle by a fellow student.

The bill, also known as the “Safe Streets and Public Spaces Act of 2017,” seeks to penalize gender-based street and public spaces harassment such as catcalling, wolf-whistling, cursing, leering, groping, persistent request for name and contact details and the use of words tending to ridicule on the basis of actual or perceived sex, gender expression, or sexual orientation and identity including sexist, homophobic and transphobic slurs.”

Quezon City already has a similar bill at the city-level, passed last year.

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Filed Under: News stories, Resources, street harassment Tagged With: england, legislation, philippines, running, UK

Even Olympic Runners Face Street Harassment

November 14, 2016 By HKearl

motto-timeAn October 2016 Runner’s World survey shows that street harassment is a problem for many, many women (and a few men). I wrote about this problem in a new article for TIME Magazine’s MOTTO section – read it here.

As part of my research for the article, I interviewed U.S. Olympian (x2) Kara Goucher and Runner’s World editor Meghan Kita, who oversaw the survey. I could only include a small portion of their interviews in the article, but because I thought they had many important things to say, they gave me permission to print more of their interviews here.

KARA GOUCHER:

Photo by Stewart Dawson, via Flickr
Kara Goucher in the 2009 Boston Marathon. Photo by Stewart Dawson, via CC on Flickr

First up is Kara Goucher, who in addition to running in two Olympics, has achievements that include: winning a NCAA Cross Country championship in 2000, winning the bronze medal in the 10,000m at the IAAF World Championships in 2007, and having the fastest-ever marathon debut for a woman in the world with 2:25:53 in New York City in 2008.

I falsely assumed that she must have a crew of people running with her and therefore, perhaps rarely or never experienced street harassment. I was wrong. Just like every other female runner I know, she’s faced harassment. Safety concerns impact her training regiment.

HOLLY: How old were you when you first began running?

KARA: I ran my first race at age 6, but started organized running at age 12.

HOLLY: Have you faced sexual harassment and/or had safety concerns during your running career?

KARA: Cat calls and whistles are common place. There have been times in my life where I actually felt threatened. I think that most women can relate to this.

HOLLY: What’s one specific example of sexual harassment you’ve experienced while running? How did it make you feel? What did you do when it happened?

KARA: The first time I felt truly scared was in 2000. Adam and I had qualified for the finals in the 5000 meters at the Olympic Trials that were held in Sacramento.  We, along with our coach, had headed to Lake Tahoe to get away for a few days before the final. We arrived in Lake Tahoe as the sun was setting. We set off for our runs and Adam quickly ran away from me. A few minutes later a truck came along side me with two men inside. They started whistling and calling out to me. I turned down a road and started running as fast as I could. They drove off. But a few blocks later they turned onto the road I was on and started yelling out to me, harassing things. I was terrified. I sprinted back to our hotel and didn’t finish my run. That night I had nightmares about it. I have been followed running since, but that first time really stands out as the time I realized I was very vulnerable when I was out running alone.

HOLLY: Has sexual harassment and/or safety concerns affected your running career in any way? If so, how?

KARA: Absolutely. I am nervous when I run before sun up or after sun down. I try to follow paths that are lit or are naturally busier with other runners. I used to run on a beautiful single track trail in Portland, OR, until my coach informed me that his wife was chased by a man running there. I was too frightened to go back on my own. I realized just how easy it would be for someone to attack me. I try to not let it control my life, but it does affect choices I make in training.

HOLLY: Is there anything else you want to say on the topic?

KARA: Running makes me feel strong and capable so I don’t like the way the vulnerability can take that from me. Running is the greatest joy in my life aside from my personal relationships. I’m not going to let anyone take that from me.

 

MEGHAN KITA:

Meghan Kita, image via her Twitter account
Meghan Kita, image via her Twitter account

Meghan Kita, a marathoner, has worked as an editor at Runner’s World for five years. After three women runners in three different states were murdered, a blog post about it on the Runners World website became the site’s most popular post to date. Meghan followed it up with a post, “The Problem is Not Women Running Alone,” which also generated a lot of discussion. From there, she spearheaded a survey about runner safety and street harassment, the first of its kind. Here is my interview with her:

HOLLY: When did you first begin running?

MEGHAN: In 2002, 14 years ago. I was in high school and joined the track team to get in shape for soccer. I liked it so much that I ran cross country in the fall instead.

HOLLY: What has been your experience with street harassment while running?

MEGHAN: It doesn’t happen that often and I marked “sometimes” in the survey. Maybe I’ll hear a honk per month. Partially this is because I run early in the morning. If it happens, it usually is when I’m running at lunch near work. It happens often enough that it’s irritating. And occasionally it has been more serve. I was followed twice one year. I was followed by someone in a car both times. I’m not totally clear they were following me but they were acting weird and I couldn’t figure out any other reason for their behavior. Both times I just got out of there. I’ve faced enough creepy behavior to be on high alert.

HOLLY: Has street harassment or general safety concerns affected your running career?

MEGHAN: Yes. I bought pepper spray after the 1st incident of following. I don’t carry it all the time, but I’ll carry it if I’m running early in the morning in parks when not that many people are around. Parks make me nervous as there’s not a quick way to get out. The second time I was followed, I didn’t have it as I didn’t think I was in danger. It just goes to show that harassment can happen anywhere and at any time and when you’re expecting it, it may not happen and vice versa. It’s unpredictable.

HOLLY: What are your thoughts on how street harassment and safety concerns cause most women to have different running experiences from men?

MEGHAN: Harassment feeds into pre-existing safety concerns. Every woman has been raised to think something bad can happen just because you’re a woman and may be an easier target, sexual violence is more of a likelihood for you. You’re already on high alert for that and street harassment reinforces that you’re vulnerable etc. Harassment keeps safety in the forefront of women’s mind even though it usually doesn’t lead to anything beyond annoyance.

It keeps us on high alert in a way that I don’t think men’s experience. There are several running routes men have recommended and I’ll spend the entire time thinking, there are woods on left and river on the right and the best way to get off the trail is 3 miles ahead, how is this fun? What if someone pops out and I would have to out run them? This thinking hinders my enjoyment of remote areas that men seem to enjoy running. I wish it wasn’t that way but it is self-preservation. You hear terrible stories, see men reacting badly and why wouldn’t you have your guard up?

Many thanks to Kara and Meghan for sharing their stories. Thank you also to Meghan for spearheading the survey. Thank you to Runner’s World for taking the issue seriously. And thank you to our ally and friend Michelle Hamilton for writing an article about street harassment and the survey in the December issue of Runner’s World. It will be on newsstands soon!

You can also listen to a Runner’s World Podcast episode about this issue + share your stories with #HarassedMidRun.

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Filed Under: Activist Interviews, street harassment Tagged With: kara goucher, meghan kita, runners world, running

“I had to sacrifice my run for these men”

November 9, 2016 By Contributor

I was fifteen years old. I was running outside alone on the street in a sports bra, without a shirt on, because it was hot and I have problems running in the heat (even a light tank top makes a difference). I was being stared at by many middle aged men and once I was honked at by what looked like some twenty year old guy in beat up truck. I was appalled because I clearly look like a fifteen year old and he had to be twenty. I ran with my shirt on for the remainder and ran slower so I would not get too hot. I had to sacrifice my run for these men.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I have no clue. We now will have a bad role model for president. If Mr. President can “grab people by the pussy” then what is stopping other men?

– SW

Location: Longboat Key, FL

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
s.

Share

Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: older male harasser, running, teenager

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