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The power of sexism in the United States

May 25, 2011 By Contributor

Sex-based male domination in the United States has been present since it’s foundation.  It is a relationship that is based on economics and power: economics because women have and still do make less money than men, and many are dependent upon men for their survival; power because in relation to women, many men exercise their will (whether consciously or unconsciously) over women.

We live in a society in which sexually excessive staring, offensive language, inappropriate bodily contact, and objectification/oppression (even economically) is culturally acceptable.  We live in a society that professes life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for its citizens, but women (like many social groups) are systematically and routinely denied these values, these opportunities, these rights to live a life of their choosing.

If we analyze the concept of power as the exercising of ones will over others, we can see that male domination, and the subjection of women is something that is socially constructed at birth.  Possibly even pre-birth.  We will be able to see that overall women are socialized to think and behave in a way that benefits those with power (men).  On the other hand, overall men are socialized to treat women as an object, as something that is void of human emotions.  Thus this type of relationship creates an invisible social gap between the sexes.

Before the birth of a child, parents who know the sex of their baby purchase items that create gender roles i.e. pink clothing and dolls for girls, and blue clothing and toys like fire trucks, police cars, or construction style items.  Gender roles are reinforced through the use of media images that portray males as being strong, aggressive, and successful.  Opposite are images that portray females as being passive, quiet, and dependent on a knight in shining armor to save her.  I would even argue that under a capitalist society which is geared to make money, gender roles are created even more systematically in the areas education, peer interaction, and modern communication technology.  All of these examples plays into a system that leave women in a state of subjection.  This is a social construct of with men having power over women.

Such images, musical lyrics, toys, and even parenting skills creates a social system i.e. sexism that enforces this system, subjects women to slave/dependent social status, and separates men and women from having positive social interactions, and long healthy relationships.  An in depth analysis of sexism is required to understand and combat this social problem that has left women behind for centuries, and while I am not providing techniques to address this issue, I am telling men that we are responsible for what happens.  We are to put in more effort to tackle the issue of sexism because we come from that position of power, and have more access to change in this system.  We owe it to women to address this issue wherever it comes from because without women, we would not be here.  It is women that has given us life.  Not the other way around.

In conclusion, Audre Lorde once wrote, “The master’s tools will never be used to dismantle the master’s house.”  Frederick Douglass wrote, “Power concedes nothing without demands.  It never has, and it never will.”  I argue that this is the mentality of a fatalist.  A person who does not believe that a better tomorrow is possible.  If Gandhi, Nehru, and the people involved in India’s independence under British rule believed this they may have still be under British rule.  If the abolitionists of the U.S. possessed this mindset I might have been a slave.  If the many people throughout humankind’s history thought like this many people of different societies may have been in worse situations than what we are currently faced with.  The master’s house can be dismantled with his/her own tools, and power can concede without demand.  It is up to both men and women to believe.  If you do not believe in love, justice, equality, liberty, and freedom for all people, and in terms of sexism, the oppressive regime will continue.

– Christopher Smith

This post is part of the weekly blog series by male allies. We need men involved in the work to end the social acceptability of street harassment and to stop the practice, period. If you’d like to contribute to this weekly series, please contact me.

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Filed Under: male perspective Tagged With: male allies series, sexism, street harassment

“Some guy said he would let me fart in his mouth and hold it in until I told him to let it out”

November 10, 2010 By Contributor

I’m glad I found this site. I feel more in control knowing there are actions I can take instead of feeling angry and helpless.

A few days prior, this was my story.

When stepping off the trolley, before my foot even hit the pavement, “Bitch nice glasses” was hollered at me. I was caught off guard and didn’t say anything, but am sure I made an angry, uncomfortable face.

When he didn’t get the response he was looking for he attempted to demand my attention by yelling, “Anyone ever do this to you?” and licked in between his fingers, motioning that he was going down on a woman. I hate that gesture, when has that ever been sexy? It’s gross and infuriates me. I flicked him off, told him he was rude and to f* off. Then he calls me a cunt cause I wasn’t excited about it. I apologized to a mother and child for swearing in front of them and the dude started at it again.

I was so angry, I called him an ignorant pig, shook my textbook at him and said I should beat him with it. He then dropped his pants and smacked his bare ass as he walked away. It made me so mad I cried in the bus stop. It happens so fast. I’m glad he left when he did.

His intention was to get a rise out of me and he was successful. The only thing worse than that feeling, is knowing the other person is getting away with it and will do it again. I’m glad to now know strategies to detour that behavior.

This isn’t the first time. I’ve been followed for blocks, crossed the street only for them to cross with me. I’ve been told my tattoo on my chest is “begging for his head to be shoved between my tits.”

“Does the carpet match the drapes?” & “Can I get your number?” are common introduction sentences.

I’ve been told all the dirty things someone would want to do to me while in a gas station. Some guy said he would let me fart in his mouth and hold it in until I told him to let it out. I didn’t even know people did that. Another guy asked me, “What I could do with 9 inches.”

Seriously? That is not something you ask/tell a stranger. It is disrespectful, disgusting and made me feel 100% uncomfortable.

I don’t dress provocatively, I rarely wear makeup. I am a 5’9″ nerd. Not someone “begging for it” (sarcasm, an outfit does not justify harassment). People would say I am nice. I’m not one to yell fuck you at a bus stop, but there I was doing it.

For someone to make another human being feel this uncomfortable and unsafe, only because they are different, is immoral.

– Anonymous

Location: Cleveland, OH

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: disrespectful behavior, sexism, sexual harassment, street harassment

Sizist homeless man

June 30, 2010 By Contributor

I passed a homeless man on the street, and he said to me, “That’s all right, I don’t want money from a fat girl like you.”

– anonymous

Location: Boston, MA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: sexism, sizism, street harassment

If You Don't Engage, You're "Racist"

October 9, 2009 By Contributor

Macarthur BART station via Yelp.com
Macarthur BART station via Yelp.com

I’m a 20 year old South Asian woman living in Berkeley, CA, USA. I was riding the 18 bus to Macarthur BART station in Oakland around 8.45 at night. I was sitting near the front of the bus reading a book and listening to music. There was a black man in his 30s sitting in front of me, who turned all the way around in his seat and staring at me. I managed to ignore him for a while, but when I took one earbud out of my ear to adjust it, he took that as an invitation to tell me I had beautiful hair. I smiled very slightly but didn’t say anything and went back to my music and book.

He kept talking to me, in a raised voice so as to be heard even above my music. Finally I took my earbud out again and said very quietly, “If you don’t mind I would just like to read, thanks”.

He proceeded to get very angry and began calling me an “uppity bitch”, a “fat ho”, and a “racist Indian cunt” who thought I was “too good to talk to a black man”.

I kept my eyes down because I really didn’t want to give him any more reason to follow me off the bus and he eventually stopped cursing at me and walked to the back of the bus.

I’ve lived in Berkeley for three years now and I’ve been catcalled, whistled at, had my appearance remarked upon multiple times but this was the first time I was actually worried I was in danger. Sometimes I hate living in this area.

– anonymous

Location: Berkeley, California

[editor’s note: see this blog post for how common this man’s reaction is.]

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: BART, berkeley, bus, california, public transportation, racism, sexism, sexual harassment, south asian, street harassment

If You Don’t Engage, You’re “Racist”

October 9, 2009 By Contributor

Macarthur BART station via Yelp.com
Macarthur BART station via Yelp.com

I’m a 20 year old South Asian woman living in Berkeley, CA, USA. I was riding the 18 bus to Macarthur BART station in Oakland around 8.45 at night. I was sitting near the front of the bus reading a book and listening to music. There was a black man in his 30s sitting in front of me, who turned all the way around in his seat and staring at me. I managed to ignore him for a while, but when I took one earbud out of my ear to adjust it, he took that as an invitation to tell me I had beautiful hair. I smiled very slightly but didn’t say anything and went back to my music and book.

He kept talking to me, in a raised voice so as to be heard even above my music. Finally I took my earbud out again and said very quietly, “If you don’t mind I would just like to read, thanks”.

He proceeded to get very angry and began calling me an “uppity bitch”, a “fat ho”, and a “racist Indian cunt” who thought I was “too good to talk to a black man”.

I kept my eyes down because I really didn’t want to give him any more reason to follow me off the bus and he eventually stopped cursing at me and walked to the back of the bus.

I’ve lived in Berkeley for three years now and I’ve been catcalled, whistled at, had my appearance remarked upon multiple times but this was the first time I was actually worried I was in danger. Sometimes I hate living in this area.

– anonymous

Location: Berkeley, California

[editor’s note: see this blog post for how common this man’s reaction is.]

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: BART, berkeley, bus, california, public transportation, racism, sexism, sexual harassment, south asian, street harassment

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