sexual assault Archives | Page 2 of 26

Ireland: Breaking the Silence and Opposing Gender-Based Violence from Square One

November 30, 2016 By Correspondent

Grace Gageby, Dublin, Ireland, SSH Blog Correspondent

Trigger Warning – Sexual assault, rape

When gathering stories about harassment and sexual assault from my friends for my first article published on Stop Street Harassment, Beatrice told me about her first encounter:

“My uncle tried when I was four. It was only my mom who stood by me when I told my family the story. My dad and the rest of the men refused to let me speak. My great-grandmother resented my mother for speaking up”.

Sexual assault is a topic that is, of course, always difficult to talk about. Speaking up is just the start of a process that can take years, a journey through the justice system that won’t necessarily end in justice, and it can require repeated retelling of a traumatic event. Victim blaming is still rampant across the world, as is women’s fear of their claims being doubted or ignored. Speaking up about sexual assault is not only difficult because of the severe mental distress it causes, but because the abuser is often known to the victim, and a familial relationship can further hinder the victim from making their abuse known.

Too often sexual violence and harassment are viewed as something men do out of attraction, rather than a desire to dominate and hurt women. This is seen in the use of sexual violence as a weapon of war. For example, more than 20,000 Muslim girls and women have been raped in Bosnia since the fighting began in April 1992, according to a European Community fact-finding team. More recently, Islamic State has used rape as a weapon to terrorize communities, particularly across northern Iraq. In these cases, rape is used to traumatize victims, to control, to undermine individual’s autonomy, and to spread mass distress. Combating sexual assault in a global context requires an understanding of how gendered and socially constructed the world is.

Similarly, street harassment, something too often dismissed as a ‘compliment’, is really about displaying dominance. It is about reminding women of patriarchal power structures in our society, reminding subordinated groups of their vulnerability, and sending the message that public spaces do not belong to them. Men who harass women and members of the LGBT community also bank on women remaining silent, on not asserting themselves. Harassment is not an unfortunate digression, but a manifestation and preservation of the systematic oppression and maltreatment of women.

In tolerating street harassment, we set a precedent for other acts of gender-based violence to occur, and to be condoned. It is the duty of all to stand up to harassment and smaller instances of gendered intimidation, so that more grievous violence can be opposed.

Grace is a student. She writes regularly for her school newsletter and yearbook, and has been published in Inis Magazine. Grace is currently involved with the socialist feminist group ROSA (for Reproductive rights, against Oppression, Sexism & Austerity), and their campaign for abortion rights in Ireland.

Trump’s Locker Room Banter is Our Life

October 11, 2016 By HKearl

A recently released 2005 recording of American presidential nominee Donald J. Trump engaging in what he calls “locker room banter” about forcing himself on women has prompted many people to speak out against his behavior and his excuse of his behavior.

For instance, famed Anita Hill wrote an op-ed in the Boston Globe today saying,

“Trump’s language, which he and others have tried to minimize as “locker room banter,” is predatory and hostile. To excuse it as that or as youthful indiscretion or overzealous romantic interest normalizes male sexual violence….Today’s conversation that must extend far beyond the presidential election. We have made strides in how we think about sexual violence but we’re nowhere close to done.”

The most visible response is happening over Twitter. On Friday night, author Kelly Oxford tweeted, “Women: tweet me your first assaults. They aren’t just stats. I’ll go first: Old man on city bus grabs my ‘pussy’ and smiles at me, I’m 12.”

By Saturday morning, as many as 50 women tweeted their stories per minute of first-person accounts of sexual violence with the hashtag #notokay. By Monday afternoon, nearly 27 million people had responded or visited Oxford’s Twitter page.

Incredible, but not surprising. A 2014 study we commissioned GfK to conduct nationally in the USA showed that nearly 1 in 4 women had experienced unwanted sexual touching by a stranger while in a public space.

I can add to that number. When I was 18 years old and standing on the sidewalk in front of a cross country teammate’s friend’s house a few blocks from my college campus, a group of men walked past me. A man at least twice my size reached out and grabbed my crotch, then laughed and walked on. You don’t ever forget the humiliation and fear and disgust of something like that happening. And at the same time, I always feel “lucky” that I have never had to live through a more severe violation.

These are the kinds of stories women everywhere have lived through. To us, it is not locker room banter. It is traumatic, upsetting and memorable. We remember. Our bodies remember.

Anyway, I am really glad to see this huge response to the really alarming evidence of what we many of us suspected: Trump is a dangerous, entitled misogynist who does not respect women (nor persons of color, immigrants, etc). Surely now he will never be president. Surely now the American people will put women’s rights and respectability above any other characteristic they deem presidential about him. Surely.

India: Sanitation and Sexual Assaults

September 29, 2016 By Correspondent

Suchita Kotnala, Texas, USA / India, SSH Blog Correspondent

Trigger Warning – Rape, Murder

With the ‘World Toilet Day’ approaching on November 19^th, it’s time to turn our focus on the sanitation facilities, or lack thereof, in India, especially the rural India, where it is estimated, that nearly 65% of the population defecates out in the open. The lack of good sanitation practices not only poses a grave health risk to the vast population in general, but, also adds the risk of bodily harm that women have to face and live with everyday.

Although India is modernizing and evolving rapidly today, a significant chunk of its population has been lagging behind in terms of social and economic advancements, and women have been paying the biggest price for it, with their freedom. The fact that numerous women fall prey to sexual predators while on their way to attend to the nature’s call during the silent and dark hours between sunset and sunrise in the rural areas, paints a grim picture for the developing ‘superpower’ India. Every now and then, a high profile gang-rape story shakes the nation out of its reverie, but the sad truth is, that only a fraction of the sexual assaults even get reported, due to the existing caste and gender biases within the police force. In 2014, two teenage girls were found murdered, in Uttar Pradesh, India, after they went missing on the prior night, when they had gone out to relieve themselves. It is alleged that they were raped and strangled, but the police investigation failed to offer any clear answers. More recently, on the night of 31^st July this year, a 20-year-old woman was brutally gang-raped and murdered by two men, when she stepped out to answer the nature’s call, in Tamil Nadu, India.

Although strengthening the law and order and increased sensitization of the masses towards gender based violence is vital to bringing about a change for the better, the importance of providing privacy and security to the women while they perform one of the most basic rituals of life can’t be disputed. No one should have to plan their entire day around activities of daily living, fearing for their life or well being every time they stepped out of their house.

The Indian Govt. has stepped up on its efforts to build more toilets lately, spending millions. The initiative might be of greater consequence, if coupled with efforts to educate the society and change the culture and attitudes of the people towards good sanitation practices.

The Indian society cannot hope to progress and prosper if a significant portion of its population continues to struggle on a daily basis, merely to stay safe and alive every morning.

Suchita was raised in western India by loving and supportive parents who helped her and her sister to grow into strong, independent and career-oriented women. She’s a registered general practitioner in India and is currently preparing to obtain medical residency in the United States. She is passionate about women’s rights especially because she has had firsthand experiences of harassment and sexist behavior at public spaces, school and work.

Survivor Activists Call on Campuses to #JustSaySorry

August 11, 2016 By Correspondent

By LB Klein, former SSH Blog Correspondent

*Kamilah Willingham, via her Twitter page*

There is a joyful moment during which applicants to institutions of higher education turn into admitted students. This moment is perhaps best captured by students sporting newly-acquired campus swag such as a sweatshirt in official colors with the campus name emblazoned on the front or a t-shirt with a mascot. However, for survivors of sexual assault on many campuses who felt their schools did not support them, these coveted items quickly become a tangible reminder of a dream promised and nightmare delivered. To capture the hollowness of institutional betrayal, Wagatwe Wanjuki and Kamilah Willingham, two prominent Black feminist survivor activists and founders of Survivors Eradicating Rape Culture, are literally setting these items on fire.

Willingham and Wanjuki are burning their once-prized possessions and asking for other survivors to do the same until their alma maters do what they see as the bare minimum: acknowledge their experiences by apologizing. Through this #JustSaySorry campaign Survivors Eradicating Rape Culture is asking for “public acknowledgements of past failures” to “restore a sense of trust in the school’s intention and ability to approach campus gendered violence with integrity.” They argue that this action is simple but would have a huge impact on survivors who often feel their campuses see them as numbers in a crime statistics report and not treasured students or alumni who deserve restoration.

A few years have passed since Wanjuki and Wilingham were sexually assaulted while students at Tufts University and Harvard Law School respectively, they discuss the long-range impact of institutional betrayal. In a recent article she penned for The Establishment, Willingham mentions the “PTSD and a six-figure student debt amount” that linger, while her pride in her Harvard Law School attendance have faded. Much like movements to address street harassment, #JustSaySorry uses a grassroots and community approach to ask institutions to move beyond the often clinical official statements often issued by college and universities. #JustSaySorry is calling for acknowledgment of survivors as people and to consider the human impact of sexual violence and its aftermath when handled poorly.

Survivors Eradicating Rape Culture and the #JustSaySorry campaign come at a time during which there is increased attention to the issue of sexual violence on campuses, but the road to accountability can be a long and fruitless one for survivors. No matter how well we enhance our university systems (and we should) we are in need of more than just more laws and more policies. Our processes for holding institutions accountable for the harm they have caused survivors frequently mirror the failings of systems of perpetrator accountability.

Wanjuki and Willingham are reminding us through their deeply personal and cathartic actions that genuine apologizing is a rare, critical, and distressingly radical act for administrators and institutions. Survivors Ending Rape Culture is calling on survivors to send them items from alma maters who failed them or to post videos or photos of themselves withholding their donations to their institutions.

Anyone can show solidarity for their work by using the hashtag #JustSaySorry to call out institutions that have caused survivors harm or by tuning into their live broadcasts of burning protests. To create more survivor supportive cultures, we cannot rely solely on strengthening formal systems. As Willingham and Wanjuki are demonstrating, we must also recognize the powerful role that the people who make up institutions and communities have to help survivors heal.

LB Klein, MSW, MPA has dedicated her professional and academic life to ending gender-based violence, supporting survivors, and advancing social justice. She is a doctoral fellow in the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill’s School of Social Work and serves a lead trainer and curriculum development specialist for the Prevention Innovations Research Center at the University of New Hampshire.

USA: #ListenToUs: Why Men Need to Listen to Women’s Stories of Sexual Violence

June 21, 2016 By Correspondent

Mariel DiDato, NJ, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Recently, I was out with a friend for a night on the town. When the night was over, we were waiting for our ride home on the sidewalk outside of our favorite late-night food spot. We happened to overhear a conversation between three men standing near us on the sidewalk. They were discussing a rape case, and talking about how “the girl was definitely lying about the rape.”

“Do you hear these guys?” I said to my friend.

“Seriously,” she replied, “Of course they think she lied.”

We began discussing about how normal sexual violence is for women. How some men think “no” means “convince me,” or how others think that rape can only be committed by a stranger in a dark alley.

My friend and I experienced that normalcy just that afternoon on the beach. A man had been staring at and following us up and down the shoreline. We were oblivious to this until two women sitting nearby let us know we had a stalker. They said they were calling him “The Hawk.” My friend and I walked back and forth a few times to test it out, and sure enough, we realized he was tailing our every move. The four of us laughed together about how creepy it was.

Perspective: we laughed about a potential predator following us. That’s how much we are used to this kind of behavior.

While my friend and I were discussing this on the sidewalk, a different man came up to us and scolded us for suggesting that sexual violence was normalized. I told him that he should listen to women when we talk about our experiences. Instead, he made a joke, and tried to convince us that we were overreacting.

“I volunteer with survivors of sexual assault,” I said. “I’m also a woman. I know what I’m talking about.”

“Yeah, of course you do,” he replied under his breath. As if I wasn’t to be trusted. As if I was lying just to win an argument with an irrelevant stranger. As if women regularly lie about how we’ve been attacked by men for the sake of spite. As if a man knows a woman’s experience better than a woman.

Why does this sound so familiar? Maybe it was because when Hollaback posted a video about a woman being catcalled in NYC, men told women that we are overreacting and that we should accept strange men’s compliments. Maybe it was because of #NotAllMen, where some (not all!) men become more upset about the semantics in women’s testimonies of violence than they do about the actual violence. Maybe it was because in the cases of Bill Cosby, Dr. Luke, Johnny Depp, and even in the random group of boys standing next to us on the sidewalk, there is always the assumption that the woman must be lying about her assault.

When women are upset about catcalling, we just need to lighten up and smile. When women are talking about how men abuse us, we are automatically condemning the entire gender. When women choose to report a highly under-reported crime, it must be because they have ulterior motives. The fact that only 2 to 8% of reports of sexual assault are false seems to be insufficient evidence for the majority of women who won’t be believed.

We’re just devious. We’re just emotional. We’re just overreacting.

This mistrust of women occurs at each stage of the violence pyramid. No matter what a woman’s complaints are, they‘re minimized or discounted by someone. It’s irritating, but relatively harmless, when it’s a drunken stranger on a sidewalk who tells me that I’m thinking incorrectly about my own experiences with violence. It’s another thing when a survivor’s report of sexual assault is met with disbelief, and even retaliation. It’s a systematic problem when not only friends and family, but judges and police officers, are more likely to think that a survivor is lying about being harassed or assaulted than they are to believe their story. I’ve seen both personally, and professionally. This has to stop.

If you’re reading this and saying, “Hey, wait! I listen to women, this article is unfair!” It’s not about you. Stop derailing the conversation, and listen.

If you hear a woman say she’s uncomfortable with catcalling, put yourself in her shoes. Walking down the street as a man and hearing a compliment is not the same as hearing a sexually-aggressive comment from someone that is, on average, 50 pounds larger than you. We’re not overreacting. You need to listen.

If you hear ANYONE talking about rape and you automatically assume that she or he is lying, you’re part of the problem. For their sake, and the sake of survivors everywhere, listen.

Take #ListenToUs to Twitter to share a time when your experience with sexual harassment or violence was minimized or not believed.

Mariel is a recent college graduate, feminist, and women’s rights activist. Currently, she volunteers for a number of different organizations, including the Planned Parenthood Action Fund of New Jersey and the New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault. You can follow her on Twitter at @marieldidato or check out her personal blog, Fully Concentrated Feminism.

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