Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Hey everyone! Look at this pervert masturbating on the Metro”

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Earlier today, I was taking the Baltimore Metro from Mondawmin to the Johns Hopkins Hospital. I was sitting alone next to the window. In between stops a guy in sunglasses and a red jacket decided to change seats and sit next to me. I thought this was strange behavior, but I did not do anything. He then put his backpack on his lap to block all the other passengers view of his lap and begin to masturbate. I think he wanted me to look at him, but I just stared out the window. He continued like this for about 10 minutes, started to breathe heavily, and then got off at the next stop.

I was so afraid, that I didn’t say anything. I wish I would have at least switched seats or gotten off the metro, but he was blocking me in and I did not want to look at him, let alone ask him to move. I am a pretty shy person, but looking back I should have had the guts to yell, “Hey everyone! Look at this pervert masturbating on the Metro.” Maybe then he would be ashamed of what he was doing.

– Elizabeth

Location: Metro, Mondawmin, Baltimore, Maryland

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“The only thing they ‘respected’ was if I was the property of another man”

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Riding a city bus in Rome, I was rubbed against from behind by a man.

As with many other people this has happened to, I thought he needed more room, so I moved forward. He moved with me. This went on until I was right behind the driver.

Then I’d had more than enough. When he pressed against me again, I turned to face him & said loudly & very sternly, “Move it or lose it!!” I was a bit taller than him, so I was right in his face, scowling.

I don’t know if he understood English or just the threatening tone, but he moved away & left me alone. I was disgusted that he’d touched me like that, but proud that I made him back away.

Other times riding the bus (I was there as a college student / tourist for 2 weeks) I was approached & bothered by men and even teenage boys. I found the only thing they “respected” was if I was the property of another man… I bought & wore a cheap “wedding” ring for most of my trip. I didn’t feel too good about it – esp. since they weren’t respecting me but some fictional non-present male – but at least they left me alone with no work on my part.

– MKEgal

Location: Rome, Italy

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“Leave the women alone!”

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This happened years ago, but I was on a crowded tube train once when a woman was groped by a male passenger. I only became aware of this when another guy confronted the perpetrator and threw him out of the train at the next stop, shouting, “Leave the women alone!”

– Anonymous

Location: London, United Kingdom

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Man harasses, follows woman and her 8-year-old daughter

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A man slowed his car to follow me & my daughter (8 yrs old) on foot. He followed us for about a block yelling out his window that I’m sexy, I need to give him my number, at least my name, just hop in & talk to him for a little bit….

My daughter was obviously confused & uncomfortable, but I ignored him hoping she might think he wasn’t talking to me. I have a history of sexual assault & was merely focusing on controling my senses so that I wouldn’t dissociate. Then he pulled up into the driveway in front of us, cutting us off & yelled at my daughter: “Your mom is a fucking bitch-cunt-whore” before leaving in a fury. My amazing daughter yelled back that he was a stupid jerk & pulled me off the sidewalk, toward the park nearby where there was more people on foot.

Now, even though my only “invitation” for such threateningly creeptastical behavior was to fearfully ignore his graphic catcalls, the other family nearby looked at me instead as if I had caused the entire interaction & they held their children closer as we walked by. I do recognize the difference between a glance of disgust and a glance of pity. They directed their blame at the wrong person, just like when a rape victim is told she shouldn’t have gone out or she shouldn’t have worn a V-neck shirt. A more appropriate response would have been to ask if we’re alright!

My daughter asked me what the man’s words meant & why did all of that family look so mean at us. I told her there are no good answers to those questions. I told her I wish I’d been strong enough to tell him to go away when he first opened his mouth because following us was illegal. She said she knew I was scared because my hand was shaking in hers & that she would always be my hero when I need one.

We wanted to walk to the police station but we couldn’t remember what color the car was or any other details. We agreed that next time we would just tell such a person, “You’re breaking the law” & then we would tell them what they look like so they would know we would remember them.

– Tiffany Brown

Location: Small town outside of Syracuse, New York

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“Many people expect women to feel flattered and just giggle coquettishly in response to harassment”

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I was in a pub for some after-work drinks with some friends and colleagues, including my boss. I felt someone behind me grab my hips, pinching them so tightly he actually hurt me, to try and move me out of his way as he walked to the bar (why he couldn’t have just said “excuse me” I don’t know). I turned round and told him “oi, don’t f***ing do that.” He looked rather shocked and apologised. A few minutes later, as he returned from the bar, I gave him a glare and he backed away and passed me at a respectful distance.

What happened next upset me much more: a female friend of mine said “I think you were way too aggressive with that guy.” I said, “But you saw what he did,” and she replied “I know, but it happens, you just have to accept it.”

I told her it happens precisely *because* people accept it, but she still thought I had overreacted. Both my friend and the groper were rather shocked at my reaction, and I think many people, both men and women, still expect women to feel flattered and just giggle coquettishly in response to harassment, and feel that getting aggressive is somehow unladylike and socially unacceptable.

– Anonymous

Location: London, United Kingdom

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