Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I felt like at any moment he might pounce on me”

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I was waiting for a bus after a business meeting in Midtown one morning and I was wearing a pencil skirt and heels. A short but respectable-looking middle-aged man in a suit walked up to me and, practically panting, said, “You know, you have really nice legs…” as he lecherously looked me up and down.

I just gave him a disgusted look and hoped he would go away, but instead he sidled up really close to me and continued asking questions. “What’s your name? How tall are you? You’re really tall.”

I tried to ignore him and whisper one word responses in hopes he would just leave me alone, since I wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation. Finally he said, “We should really have lunch sometime,” and when I replied that, “My boyfriend really wouldn’t like that,” he finally left me alone, of course muttering as he walked away, “He’s a really lucky guy.”

It’s not so much what this guy actually said, but the way he said it – I felt like at any moment he might pounce on me, which was nauseating. He invaded my personal space and privacy and just didn’t know when to back off. What a pathetic old creep.

– Anonymous

Location: 45th & 6th Ave., New York

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Car tries to run over woman, passengers yell, “We don’t stop for ugly bitches!”

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I have been harassed an infinite amount of times. The most painful, however, are the occasions where instead of “complimenting” my appearance, the men criticize it.

Just a few days ago on my campus, I was crossing at a crosswalk. A car that was idling rather far down the street suddenly sped up and tried to hit me; as I looked over my shoulder, I saw two male students leaning forward and smiling as they nearly hit me.

I was shaken, but tried to not lose my cool. I continued walking as the car sped away. After a couple minutes, I reached the next crosswalk and heard a car pull up and stop: it was the same men. They had seen that I was headed for the next crosswalk and had waited for me. I motioned for them to pass but they gestured for me to go. I was furious at this point, but noticed that other cars had began to line up behind them and didn’t want to make others wait. I began to cross the street and the car charged me again, yelling out their window, “We don’t stop for ugly bitches!” and holding down their horn, making a spectacle.

I dodged the car and it sped off. As I walked away, I was more distraught to realize that the people surrounding me (almost entirely male engineering students working on projects in the park), were laughing uncontrollably.

I called to police once I got home, and the male police officer took down my report incredulously. I called back later to see if anything had been found on the men (I had a description of the car) and was essentially laughed off.

I haven’t left the house in days, I feel too ugly to be in public… or, or that matter, to live. I don’t have a car so I need to walk places and it feels like a punishment. I just want a mask to wear on my face so no one can judge it as ugly and try to run me over. I feel no protection from others, neither the police nor my peers; no one will stand up for ugly girls.

– Anonymous

Location: On Campus

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A male ally in New Delhi, India, speaks out – part 1

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[Editor’s Note: This is part 1 in in a 3 part series. You can read parts 2 and 3 later this week]

These are real life stories. Narrated as it happened.

I was at the super market getting late for work and needed to pick up some milk. This is a super market that I frequent often and I know most of the people who work there by their first names and they know me well too.

This new girl had joined recently, like a month back and wasn’t very sure how to handle customers, especially male customers. She was on duty at the check out counter, and I could see a couple of rough looking guys getting their groceries checked out by her. One of the guys stood to the left side and started to hand out the stuff from the cart and the other stood to the other side with a huge sack in his hand.

The girl started to bill the stuff and pass them on to the other guy to put them in the sack. In a couple minutes, while I was looking at them trying to figure out what their intentions were, the other guy then lowered the sack to the floor and opened the top of it and requested the girl to pop the stuff in it. The girl threw in the vegetables but for other groceries she obviously had to bend  from the waist a bit. The guy holding the sack lowered the mouth of the sack a little bit more and very happily ogled inside her shirt each time she bent down.

Needless to say, this incident angered me. There were other people behind me in line who were getting irritated because the girl was doing a slow job, or so they said and the other counters were still closed.

The guy passing out the stuff from the cart bent over to pick up something from the very back of the cart and that was when I saw the ID hanging from his neck. He was a Delhi Police officer. They both were Police officers. (New Delhi, Capital city, India)

That was when I did what I do best. I kept my milk on the counter and moved behind the counter to help her out everything in the sack.

The two cops were angered by this, and humiliated too. They managed to figure out I guessed what they were up to and that must have embarrassed them somehow, or so I’d like to think.

After that, they moved out real quick and the girl still had no idea what those two had been up to.

Another guy who worked there figured it out and murmured me a thanks, and I sure hope he did coach his new comer colleague how to handle such customers from now on.

I remember another incident very vividly. I was standing in line at a fast food pick up place. There was a young teen girl standing in line ahead of me and some guys standing a little away towards the right. Apparently those guys had already ordered and were waiting for their food to be packed. The girl in front of me placed her order and stood to the side. I ordered and I moved back too. The girl was wearing a tee and jeans and a jacket, with no skin visible. The guys standing a bit away were constantly staring at her, and they must have been in their 40’s at least. Pretty soon, the girl became aware of their stares and became a little uncomfortable too. I didn’t know what to do or how to react, so I just moved from where I was standing and stood between the guys and the teen girl. The teen girl was petite and the guys ogling at her couldn’t see her anymore standing besides me so they soon lost interest.

The guys got their food and left, the girl got her food and left. She did not look back or anything, but I’m sure she realized for a moment that there are some good folks in this planet. Very few, it seems to me though.

[Come back tomorrow to read Part 2]

– Tbg

@TbgDgc

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40-year-old perv to 16-year-old on subway, “You like to dress slutty like that. I’d love to give you an orgasm.”

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I was on the Q train going downtown. I was out with friends but alone on my way home at like 1 a.m. I got on the third car and sat in the corner. The doors were about to close and this guy gets on and looks at me right away. We were the only 2 people on the train and he sits right across from me.

I’m 16 and this guy was probably like 40 attractive and well dressed. So he starts talking to me saying, “Wow you look really good, do you want to go out for a drink?”

I’m 16, duh…Then he’s like, “No, you you don’t look good, you look sexy. Do you have a boyfriend?”

I am ignoring him at this point.

Then I notice he has his phone pointed right at me and i got really pissed and scared. We got to the next stop and he got up like he was going to get off the train but he didn’t. The doors closed then he is standing up right in front of me and he puts his camera right in front of me.

He’s like, “Baby you look so good. You like to dress slutty like that. I’d love to give you an orgasm…Does your boyfriend get you off?” I notice he is rubbing his dick with his other hand and flicking his tongue at me. I got up and stood by the door. Then he goes, “Well be that way you little c*nt. I thought you were a whore the way you were dressed! Does your dad know you go out like that you little whore”

I got off the train and he still had his phone pointed at me and was flicking his tounge at me as the train pulled away. WTF is wrong with people. I mean he looked so normal. Does he like go home to a normal family? He had a wedding ring on.

Can I not look nice and be out in public in this city? I am so angry this morning…This guy was blond like 6 feet and had glasses on. He had on all black a wedding ring and a Rolex. I know because I saw it when he had his phone right in my face. What as ass.

– Marissa

Location: Q train, NYC

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Street Harassment Snapshot: February 20, 2011

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Read stories, news articles, blog posts, and tweets about street harassment from the past week and find relevant announcements and upcoming street harassment events.

Street Harassment Stories:

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You can read new street harassment stories on the Web from the past week at:

Street Harassment in the News, on the Blogs:

Events:

Announcements:

New:

On-going:

10 Tweets from the Week:

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