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Harassers with x-ray vision

January 6, 2011 By Contributor

This happened last night while driving :

I had my window cracked open because i was smoking in my car and we were stopped at a red light. Two mouth breathers in a blue Honda Civic started yelling: “I LOVE YOUR TITS!”

Because they were so noticeable in my three layers of winter clothing and my scarf whilst I am behind the wheel of my car… Right. You like that I have tits and you could hypothetically look at them, because that’s why they’re there – AMIRITE??!

Idiots.

I cranked up the metal, flipped them off and drove away.

– Anonymous

Location: Edmonton, Alberta

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: i love your tits, sexual harassment, street harassment

“Suddenly he had my foot in his hand and was squeezing it in different places”

January 5, 2011 By Contributor

My partner and I were on vacation in New Orleans the week after Christmas. Having left snowstorms behind us at home, we were enjoying the sunshine and wearing jeans and t-shirts.

One morning, we were sitting waiting for the street car at the stop by the French Market when a man approached me and very cordially asked me, “What type of shoes are those?”

He was about middle aged, looked clean enough, and seemed friendly. I was wearing plain black leather loafers, but the brand name escaped me. I guess I assumed he was looking for something similar for his wife or daughter. I smiled, slipped off my shoe and read him the brand. He asked if the leather was soft. Alarm bells should’ve gone off when he knelt at my side and took the shoe from my hand, but he just seemed so genuine. He noted the padded insert and asked if I had high arches.

Suddenly he had my foot in his hand and was squeezing it in different places. I was starting to get nervous, but he was calmly going on about being a reflexologist and I was caught between stunned silence and naive belief. It wasn’t until he painfully pressed down on a bone in my foot I’ve broken twice in the past that I was jolted back to my senses. With his hands still on my foot, he started asking my girlfriend about her feet. I pulled my foot away, still smiling and trying to be polite.

Then, without either of us even saying anything to him to end the encounter, he was just gone. I suppose he’s done this enough times to know when the game is over, because he completely disappeared the instant before either of us became confrontational.

In retrospect, I’m upset with myself for doing nothing. I’ve told cat-callers to fuck off more times than I can count, called supervisors of men who’ve harassed me while they were on the job, and I read blogs like this one regularly. I KNOW better. I stick up for myself and others when I see or experience street harassment. But here was a man TOUCHING me and trying to touch my girlfriend, and I smiled and nodded while it went on for several minutes. The whole experience left me feeling disgusting and was really triggering for me as a sexual assault survivor.

– mbc

Location: New Orleans, LA, near the French Market

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: assault, foot fetish, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

“There is no where to go to escape it”

January 1, 2011 By Contributor

I’ve been harassed nearly everywhere I’ve gone, and no matter how I was dressed. I’ve had my boobs grabbed, my ass grabbed, my crotch grabbed, and some of the most filthy and disgusting things I never wanted to hear whispered into my ears. And it doesn’t just happen in the streets. Concerts, bars (even while I was clearly talking to a boyfriend), groceries stores, malls, in the workplace, there is no where to go to escape it. No one has ever done anything to stop it. When I ignore it or give the harasser an annoyed look, they start calling me an ungrateful bitch, or a whore. When others see me being harassed, they never do anything to stop it, as if it’s only worth the trouble if things turn to violence.

It started when I was thirteen, and I enjoyed the attention of whistles and honks from the car. It didn’t take long for me to get sick of hearing it, and for more serious trespasses to start. I was never even a sexy dresser. Jeans, t-shirt, no makeup. That didn’t effect things, either. I often wore old, dirty sweatpants and a torn up flannel shirt to a job I had loading trailers in college. For some reason, that just made them like me more, especially at gas stations. For years, I quit going to bars and concerts because I was so sick of dealing with the crowd. As I’ve gotten older, I don’t get it quite so much. Oddly, the business suit seems to work better as a deterrent than the sweat pants ever did.

All that time, I just figured it was something I had to live with and work around. This website and it’s message are great, and I hope it will help change the way we deal with this issue.

– KW

Location: Everywhere

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

Coping with “fearful crushes” on the NYC subway in 1909

December 29, 2010 By HKearl

Any woman who has taken mass transit for any amount of time (or, in some cases, at all), has, no doubt, experienced or witnessed sexual harassment.

Harassment on public transportation is a common topic on my blog, from posts highlighting studies about harassment on public transportation, to posts about women who won’t stand for harassment, to posts about the latest country to start women-only buses or subway cars as a “quick fix.” It was also the topic of my presentation last month at Third International Conference on Women’s Safety: Building Inclusive Cities (where I argued that women-only cars are not long-term solutions and do not challenge or end harassment).

I think sometimes we may think that “back in the day” people were civilized, there was no street harassment, no harassment on public transportation. Sadly, this is simply not true. As long as there has been gender inequality and a societal disrespect for women there has been street harassment and as long as there has been public transportation, the harassment has occurred there.

1909 Hudson Tubes photo from Photographs of Old America via Ephemeral New York

The latest evidence of this tradition of harassment came to my attention via a post on the blog Ephemeral New York (thanks to my colleague ChristyTJ for the link).

In the post the author writes how in 1909 there was a test run of women-only subway cars (“suffragette cars”) during rush hour on the trains of the Hudson Tubes (today’s PATH). They were suggested because of inappropriate behavior by some men toward women riders. In the end, there was enough opposition to the idea, including from women, that women-only subway cars were never implemented.

The blog post piqued my curiosity and I found a lot more information about harassment on public transportation during this time period from the US Department of Transportation website, in an article by Dorothy Schulz and Susan Gilbert called, “Women and Transit Security: A New Look at an Old Issue”: 

“Within eight years of its opening, the transit system was being criticized for the sexual harassment of women and girls, who, although they accounted for only about a quarter of all peak hour passengers, were forced to endure jostling and unwelcome sexual contact….

One solution the transit system rejected was cars solely for women, although years later the system would embrace the idea of cars for students travelling between school and home in the afternoon hours. The transit system, though, continued to receive criticism about the safety of women riders. A few years later, women police officers worked as decoys to contain the behavior of men who made it ‘their business to insult and annoy women and girls.’…

As early as 1909—only five years after the IRT opened—a prominent leader of the Women’s Municipal League proposed that it reserve the last car of every rush hour train for women. At a time when women’s separate spheres in most aspects of public life were taken for granted by men and women, Julia D. Longfellow advocated this male-free space to assure that women were not forced to cope with “the fearful crushes,” and with sexual insults, and that they would not have to safeguard themselves from men’s sexual aggression. A secondary purpose of her demand for segregated cars was less benevolent. Longfellow, representing the views of many upper-class women of her time, believed that some working-class women were willing participants in this subway rowdiness, and that creation of women’s only cars would lead to more ladylike behavior by those who needed such reforming

The IRT rejected the idea, but women’s safety—or lack of it—whether real or perceived—remained a public concern. In 1918, when the first policewomen entered the New York City Police Department under a new, female fifth deputy commissioner, one of their first assignments was to attack the problems of white slavery and men who annoyed women on the streets, in the subways, and on the elevated trains—problems that were seen, at least in part, as related.

Those familiar with Progressive Era concerns about white slavery know that creation of such groups as the Traveller’s Aid Society were directly related to demands that women be present in train stations to protect young women, often runaways or working-class immigrants, from the clutches of those perceived as ready to lure them into lives of prostitution. Early policewomen, too, spent much of their time patrolling train stations, with the expressed aim of saving women from the perils believed awaiting them there.

Thus concern about women and their safety in and around transit systems has a long history and plays an important role in women’s demands for public positions in both the social service and criminal justice fields.”

Fascinating. How very little has changed in 100 years!!! I think this historical context helps show that even when there are some measures introduced to stop street harassment and harassment on public transportation, until there is a complete societal shift regarding the acceptability of such behavior, it will not end.

We have yet to achieve that societal shift. And we need it.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: new york city subway, sexual harassment, street harassment

“How come your hand doesn’t slip over a hot oven?”

December 22, 2010 By HKearl

A guy on a bus in India thinks it’s funny to “accidentally” let his hand slip to touch a female passenger. His buddies seem to think it’s funny, too. Watch what happens when he tries to touch her a second time…

This video clearly shows how a bystander can end a harassment incident and help change the social acceptability of harassment, especially when the woman experiencing harassment may not feel able to respond. The bystander did not back down and he thought fast on his feet with his retorts. (Side note: I am against the use of violence if at all possible).

What other responses do you think the bystander – or the woman facing the harassment – could have given when “Romeo”‘s asserted that his hand slip was an accident?

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Filed Under: Resources Tagged With: eve teasing, sexual harassment, street harassment

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