[Editor’s note: Normally only stories from men who are sharing stories as bystanders or allies in ending gender-based street harassment are those posted on here, but I thought it was worth offering this perspective because it similarly shows that sexual harassment of men, just like sexual harassment of women, is construed as a compliment and is not taken seriously, as it should be.

That said, I do want to note that women are more likely to have an underlying fear of assault when a man harasses them than when a woman harasses a man; we live in a gender inequitable society so there is a different underlying meaning between the two scenarios; and also, usually women experience far more sexual harassment than do men. These are some of the reasons why I focus on women’s experiences rather than men’s. Also, just like this man, men who are harassed are targeted for something other than their gender: their sexual orientation, their race, their size, their class, their disability etc. Women across the board are harassed simply for being female.]

Hi ladies, i am a man and i would like to share my thoughts and views and also my own experiences with street harassment. I do not believe that women deserve to be harassed. I have never harassed a woman, never will. I always try to have respect for women but i will honestly say that it’s very hard sometimes. The reason i say this is because i have been harassed many times by women! I am not your average male height or shape. I am short and small built. I also wear glasses, not the typical ‘hunky’ man that you women always seem to go for. Because of my size, i’ve been teased and belittled. I’ve had girls laugh at me, make snide remarks and even grope me. It makes me feel embarrassed and powerless. As a man, that’s not the worst of it. I am supposed to ‘take’ it and even enjoy it. That’s what i’ve heard and been told. So there’s nothing i can do about it because i’m a man. The police wouldn’t take it seriously, my mates just get jealous and say how lucky i am and i’ve even had a tutor say to me why complain?! Sigh.

– Dominic

Location: UK