Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Ways to deal with street harassment in Indonesia

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It happened when I lived in Jakarta (Indonesia). My family (my husband and I have 2 kids) just moved there. I like taking my bike to see around the neighbourhood or just walk.

Most of the houses have guards. They sit or stand outside of the gate house together, playing card or smoke together. One day I passed them with my bike. When I was right i front of them, they started to whistle at me, a few of them were calling me, “hei hei where are you going?”, they said many things to me.

But, hey, I’m a mature woman. They can not do that to me. I’m not innocent little girl anymore. Be careful you, men!! So, I stopped my bike calmly, I went to them, looked at them calmly and confidence and said lots of things, that i do not like what they did to me. I said that I live in this neighbourhood, they will see me nearly everyday, and that will not be nice for me if they keep doing that, I also can report them to their bosses (they do not want to loose their job of course).

They said sorry.

And then every time I ride my bike or walk going somewhere, I always wear something nice, looking smart and “wealthy”. I realised, after a few experiences, if I wear something too simple (just t-shirt and short pants and sandal no make up) I got this street harassment. But if i wear something nice (at least wear shoes and sunglasses!!), I don’t get this nasty thing. And carry myself with confidence.

I hate street harassment.

– Anonymous

Location: Jakarta, Indonesia

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“A guy started calling me names and suggesting I have sex with him”

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I was walking back home from job interview and all of a sudden a block away from my house a guy started calling me names and suggesting I have sexual intercourse with him. I got so scared because there were no people around, and he was following me. I was not sure if I could call 911, so I ran to my apartment building. When I was safely locked in my apartment I cried…

–  Anonymous

Location: Minneapolis, MN

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Jets players catcall female reporter

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Image via NPR

This past Saturday, Ines Sainz, a reporter for a Mexican television network, attended a Jets football team practice and interviewed players with two of her male coworkers in the locker room. During the practice, the assistant coach seemed to purposefully throw the ball in her direction. Then when she was in the locker room, several players “catcalled” at her, making her feel “very uncomfortable.”

Via NPR:

“Of course you feel it when you are being stared at and when you are being spoken of in a certain way,” Sainz told The Associated Press. “I opted to ignore it … I tried to not even pay attention.” She tweeted in Spanish on Saturday night that she tried “not to look anywhere!!”

While this is not exactly street harassment, a lot of the factors are the same.

  1. The men who catcalled her treated her disrespectfully and made her feel uncomfortable, just as street harassers do to the women they harass.
  2. Many men only harass women on the streets when they are in groups and I bet had only one guy been in the locker room, he wouldn’t have harassed Sainz. Often the harassment isn’t for the benefit of the women, it’s to impress or to get a rise out of one’s male peers.
  3. Sainz’s reaction is like so many women’s after they’ve experienced street harassment: pretend to ignore it, suffer through it, and then move on. That’s what we’re told to do and when it happens all the time, sometimes that’s all we have the energy to do.
  4. Just as women are sharing their street harassment stories on blogs, via twitter, and Facebook, Sainz tweeted her experiences afterward. It raised awareness and the Jets owner apologized to her. Afterward Sainz said, “I don’t want to make it a bigger deal. I have confidence in the NFL and the Jets’ management and I know that this will serve as a precedent so that this does not happen to another women.”And that’s how I think a lot of women feel about street harassment. They don’t want to dwell on it or make a big deal as long as it stops so that no woman ever has to deal with it again.

Ladies, let’s take a cue from Sainz and keep speaking out about the harassment we face. And men, don’t take a cue from the Jets players – don’t harass women and don’t ignore it or keep silent when you see your buddies doing it. That makes you complicit.

[9.14.10 update: Amanda Hess at TBD addresses the rampant victim-blaming that seems to be growing as more people hear about what happened to Sainz]

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Weekly Round Up: September 12, 2010

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Story Submissions Recap:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

In the News, On the Blogs:

Events:

Sept. 16: “Hey, You, Can I Get a Smile?” One-Woman Show, NYC

Announcements:

10 Tweets from the Week:

  • Phoenix_Noire No offense to all of my male friends, but you don’t “get” me on the same level as my sisters. When I have to explain street harassment? No.
  • jennpozner We fail our boys as a culture wen we teach them that #streetharassment is their imperative. @ihollaback
  • CA_Young Hating having to be a guy telling another guy to stop shooting down a woman’s experience of street harassment. I shouldn’t have to.
  • plannedaccident Okay men who harass me: 1. I’m not ur baby so don’t refer to me as such when u don’t know me 2. Don’t catcall/beep at me while I’m walking.
  • zoeylarsen If you turn “good morning” into a catcall, you need not be allowed in public.
  • ashleyrebeccah Guy on street harasses me & when I don’t respond he says “ur supposed 2say TY!” Rly, I’m supposed to TY for harassing me? #streetharassment
  • iHollaback: Just got off the phone with Hollaback Pittsburgh. Their launch is scheduled for Oct, but they are already kicking ass!
  • lashcampaign London Mayoral candidate Oona King will ensure local authorities recognize street harassment as violence against women http://oona4mayor.com
  • ashley_dodson I’m so sick of sexually hrsmnt in public. Spread awareness of street harassment. Men & women can bring an end 2 it.
  • ears_of_steam overheard a dad explain 2 daughter what #streetharassment is, & how “u don’t have to stand there & be nice.”
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“He just saw that I was a woman, and that’s all he needed”

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One spring day I decided that I would dress up a little for class at my community college because it was so beautiful out, so I wore a pair of white shorts that came to just above my knee and a blue top. I went the whole day of classes around our small campus without any incident. I’d had a good day and put on my favorite song and rolled the windows down for the drive home. But as I slowed my car to turn out of the street my school is on, an older man with gray hair was walking in the opposite direction. He looked into my open window and whistled at me. I sped up to get further down the street, and immediately turned down my music and rolled the windows up, feeling embarrassed. My good day was pretty much ruined. I mean, the man probably couldn’t even see what I was wearing, because I don’t think I slowed down enough for him to really get a good look at me. He just saw that I was a woman, and that’s all he needed. I guess I called atte ntion to myself because music was playing in my car. But how easy would it have been for him to just mind his own business and keep walking without whistling at me?

I got home and told someone about the incident, and she just dismissed me and said, “If it was a young, cute guy you probably wouldn’t be complaining.” I was really angry that she would even say that, but this is from the person who says “Oh, lighten up, it’s a compliment.” But it’s not. It’s humiliating, and it makes me feel unsafe. Like I don’t belong there, in public, like the men who do this are saying, “This is my space and you’re only here because I’m letting you be here.” I hate that people try to tell me I should be grateful for the attention. How many different ways can you let someone know you don’t want it? I never wore that outfit to school again, and I still feel nervous and awkward wearing shorts or a skirt on campus. It wasn’t the first time I’ve been harassed at school; another time I got honked at by two guys in the parking lot as I was walking to class in an old hoodie and jeans! They stopped their car to stare at me and I ju st kept walking like I didn’t see them. It’s ridiculous. And it’s obviously not about attraction or whatever people try to tell me. It’s harmful, and I wish men would stop doing it.

I have never holla’d back. But reading all of these stories here on this blog and on the hollaback websites makes me feel like the next time it happens, I can.

-NH

Location: Hamilton, OH

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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