Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Tennesseans throw things at women and young girls (Beware!)

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The absolute worst area for harassment that I’ve ever lived in is Hendersonville, Tennessee. In this supposedly “safe”, “down-home”, “good-old-boys” environment, I experienced the terror of having to dodge objects thrown at me from cars and incidents of indecent exposure in addition to the ubiquitous catcalls.

As we all know, it can be intimidating to someone walking, or on a bicycle, to be honked at or run down by a driver who “just wants to talk” or offers a “ride.” But on several occasions, either the driver of the car or his passenger actually threw things at me while I was walking or biking alongside the road. They threw stuff like:

– Bottles, cans, trash, fast-food bags, cups full of soda.
– Lit firecrackers (Southern boys seem especially fond of their cherry bombs and M-80s).
– And in one terrifying incident in a suburban neighborhood off Indian Lake Road, I had a broken homemade skateboard (seriously, what was this guy doing with that thing in his car?!?!) thrown at me, along with a tide of insults. This one made contact. It hurt like crazy but I managed to make it home. When I told my parents, they advised me to not go into that area (and it was NOT a bad neighborhood!), and my mother acted like I’d done something to deserve it.

I also had a horse at one point and my friends and I liked to ride on less-traveled roads. You might think people would take heed to be more careful, but it had the opposite effect. Men would drive by slowly, honking their horns and yelling, trying to scare the animals – a dangerous activity since a startled horse is unpredictable. Fortunately mine wasn’t too easily spooked by that kind of stuff.

I was 14 years old.

And that’s only in addition to having to hear every 3 minutes or so how nice your ass is or how fat it is, depending on the personal taste of whomever’s yelling at you. You get this from about age 9 on up till you’re 80 or so, I reckon (Nope, I’m not there yet.) And calling the police? Don’t make me laugh. Officers hate responding to this kind of crap because it’s not like anybody ACTUALLY grabbed you and threw you in his trunk or anything, so what should THEY do about it?

Women are not exempt. A neighbor boy my age also experienced this kind of threatening behavior, although I’m sure they didn’t tell him he had nice tits… he just had stuff thrown at him. And for those of you who might think it’s a “compliment”, things like that are often said to women in the same kind of threatening tone that you’d typically reserve for your arch enemy.

I retaliated by packing a bag and getting OUT of that hellhole literally the SECOND I turned 18 and could do so legally, and I’ve never gone back. I got myself a scholarship, got an education, got a good job and make it a point to only date men who treat other people- not just women but ALL human beings- with respect.

To this day I’ll never set foot in Hendersonville, Tennessee. Those people think they’re better than everyone else. Maybe I haven’t learned my lesson, but I still walk to work… what can I say, I like the exercise. 🙂

– anonymous

Location: Hendersonville, TN

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“Can’t Even Drive With My Windows Open”

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I have shared multiple stories here now, each incident taking place in Massachusetts, either in or near Boston. Brockton, East Boston, Lexington, and now, Revere.

It was a fairly nice day when I was driving on the Lynn Way towards Boston, driver’s window open. I had my music on and wasn’t bothering anyone when an older looking black Honda drove up in the lane next to me. Three or four guys, probably teenagers or in their early twenties began to stuck to their heads out of their own windows and stare at me, and it was clear they wanted me to make eye contact with them. I denied them this, and instead rolled up all my windows and
continued to drive like nothing was happening.

Then, they began to stick their hands out of their windows and point at me, which had me starting to feel terrified. what the hell did that mean? Why were they pointing at me? Probably to get my attention, of course. I refused to bat an eyelash at them. They, however, refused to quit acting like idiots and didn’t stop until they finally turned off towards Point of Pines, Revere.

I know harassment is everywhere, but I’ve had too many stories in MA alone, so I urge all MA ladies to report their stories. Clearly the men here aren’t getting the message.

The boys were driving a Black Honda, MA plate number 6WE-590.

– anonymous

Location: Revere, MA

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Assault in Nantes

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These are two stories, but they occurred in the same city — Nantes, France, in the Pays de la Loire province.

Story 1– I was waiting for a tram in the middle of a sunny afternoon in April. I planned to take the tram from Commerce (the center of town) to Petits Ports-Facultes, where my French university was located. As I waited for the tram, a man came up to me and rubbed his hands and arms all over my breasts. At first shocked, I started screaming and he ran away. There were easily 100+ onlookers who did nothing. It was terrible.

Story 2– Also in Nantes, I was taking the evening bus circuit from town (Commerce) to my host family’s home (near Montbazon). A strange man had followed my friends and I after dinner, but I wasn’t worried — it was only around 8pm and there’s no way he could be THAT harmful, right? He followed me onto the bus, and partway through the ride home I noticed that he was masturbating, on the bus, and staring at me with frightening and disturbing desire. Every time I moved as if I were getting off the bus, he would stand, and I knew I would be followed if I decided to stop. He moved to sit behind me, and, while he reached to touch my hair, I immediately moved to the front to sit behind the driver. I missed my stop and soon, the masturbating pervert and I were the only people on the bus. Fortunately, as the stop cycled back, a Nantes transport police officer boarded the bus. I told him what was happening, and he was dismissive. “See if he gets off first. If so, you’re fine. If not, we’ll arrest him back in the center of town.” The officer did nothing — not even talk to the man. Eventually, the man ‘finished’ — staring at me all the while– and got off the bus. I finally passed by my stop, got off the bus, and vomited on the side of the road.

– anonymous

Location: Nantes, France, in the Pays de la Loire province

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Harassment is a health hazard

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I’m with my partner visiting his grandparents in a very rural area of Virginia. This morning when I was running, men in a white truck felt the need to whistle a few times at my retreating figure as I turned off the road they were driving on. I was wearing a bright orange, oversized t-shirt from a race and blue running shorts, I was dripping in sweat in the southern heat and humidity. In short, I was the picture of stunning beauty so I bear them no ill will for their uncontrollable need to harass me while I was on what was otherwise a peaceful run.

Sike.

I have every right to go for a run without being harassed. That includes whistling, honking, sexual comments, and stalking. Twice in my life I stopped running outside for a while because I was getting harassed so much each time I went running and that was exhausting. Additionally, I’ve had the most vulgar comments made to me on my runs and I’ve been followed by men twice while running (= very scary).

I am not alone. In an informal survey for my forthcoming book, I found that one in four women exercise inside on at least a weekly or monthly basis because of actual or feared interactions with strangers in public, meaning because of street harassment by men or their fear of being attacked.

Since mentioning this fact in an Oregonian op-ed, I’ve done a few interviews in the last two weeks specifically on exercising and harassment, because this reality is striking a nerve.

In response to the AOL article I posted on my Stop Street Harassment Facebook group, one woman wrote, “So sad and so true. My boyfriend suggested I could save money by running outside instead of using the gym. I replied, ‘I can’t. I’ve got big tits.’

Imagine how many more women would exercise if they could do so outside safely and without harassment  since running outside offers a lot more flexibility and affordability compared to exercising at a gym. And we know that exercise is something we all need to be healthy. So, men harassing women is a health hazard. Seriously, think about it.

Anyway, I want to know, do you get harassed while exercising? If so, what impact has it had on your life? How do you deal with it? Do you have any suggestions?

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“Unleash your Inner Death Metal Singer! Holla Back!”

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One day, several years ago, I thought my boyfriend was whistling at me outside of our apartment, I turned around and made eye contact with the actual man who whistled at me, a stranger. I noticed he seemed shocked and uncomfortable that I acknowledged him. I realized no one really says anything back to these men and I really wanted to start letting them know that not all women will pretend it didn’t happen. I wanted to humiliate them by acknowledging his ridiculous behavior.

A few years later I was walking in Eugene, OR on 5th and Blair with a female friend of mine when a man stopped at a light whistled at us. Fed up with men treating my friends and me like shit, I turned around, and in my best death metal voice yelled “FUCK OFF!!” The light turned green and the man followed us slowly down the street. I kept my phone in my hand in case we needed to call for help. We approached a one way street and walked the wrong way so he couldn’t follow us anymore.

I felt scared that this man might retaliate against me for standing up for myself. But mostly I felt proud of myself and hoped that I could make a dent in the frequency in which men treat women like this. I am so fucking sick of feeling confined to my home in hopes of avoiding this kind of intimidation! Unleash your inner “death metal singer” and Holla Back!

– anonymous

Location: Eugene, OR

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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