Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Can’t even go on a coffee break…”

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Yesterday I was walking across 17th St. (at the intersection with K St. in Washington, DC) on my way to meet someone for coffee. As I stepped back up onto the sidewalk from the street, a guy on the corner said to me, “Hey there, beautiful.”

I just ignored him and continued walking by. After I got past him, he said, “F*** you!!” I was scared to turn around and say something because what if he decided to get violent after using such violent language and tone?

I ignored him again and was a little shaken by the time I got to the coffee shop.

– anonymous

Location: 17th and K Street, Washington, DC

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Outrageous harasser on the morning commute

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Photo by contributor

I board the bus heading to work this morning. The driver wishes me “good morning,” I return the favor, tap my SmartTrip card and head to the back of the bus where I find an available seat. I get lost in space as I read my book.

At Rosslyn, a man comes on the bus, looking mad as I don’t know what. He’s rambling, cursing about this or that, and just gives me this bad vibe. He sits two seats down from me, clumping his backpack down between us really hard. He pulls out his paper, cursing while he reads.

He says something to me, but I ignore it, thinking he’s saying something ignorant. Then I chose to move away from him, and he gets pissed.

“Fuck you,” he says. “When a black man tries to talk to you, you run away, but when a white man talks to you you smile and get all happy. Stuck up black bitch! You love the white man’s dick. You’ll suck a white man’s dick! You ain’t shit anyway. You ain’t got no ring on your finger. Ain’t no one want you. And you got knotty dreads – nasty. You probably ain’t wash yo’ dreads ‘cuz you afraid…”

All this nonsense when I was trying to read a damn book!

I pull out my phone…

“Go ahead, call someone! You ain’t got no one to talk to,” he says.

…and take his photo in the rare moment he wasn’t looking. Then I head to the front of the bus, away from this fool, and ask the driver to call the police.

“This guy is on the back of the bus cursing at me for no reason at all,” I said. “Telling me I suck white man’s dick and other nonsense.”

The guy walked up front from the back of the bus and starts saying more crap! He’s directly behind me at this point.

“I opened a window and she got all scared and moved away!” the crazy man yelled. “I tried to ask her about the window and she ignored me and moved away.”

“I didn’t realize you opened a window!” I said. “You were sitting at the back of the bus, cursing and ranting, talking about me sucking white man’s dick—“

“Watch your mouth!” the driver snapped. “You two need to stop.”

Why was I getting blamed? I didn’t raise my voice or curse, and I was only repeating what the guy had been saying to me.

“Go ahead, cry and whine to the driver,” the crazy guy continues. “You all fine until someone insults you, then you want to cry like a baby.”

“I am not crying,” I said, calmly. “You don’t see me crying.” This was so frustrating.

The crazy guy goes to the back of the bus, still ranting and cursing, and a nice gentleman gave up his seat in the front of the bus so I could get away from this guy. I had the foresight to have Metro Police’s number on my phone, so I called them, described the guy, told them the bus route and bus number, and where we were located at. Sure, the driver can tell me “good morning” but he’s pretty much useless for anything else.

The crazy guy got off a few stops before I did, so I called Metro Police back to let them know that.

“You’ve just gotta stay humble,” the guy at the front of the bus said. “Guys like him are everywhere. All you can do is keep your cool, don’t let it get to you…” and stuff I was just too distracted to take in at the moment.

When I got off the bus I thanked the guy and told him to have a good day. Yet I feel numb. I’m just so used to being sexually harassed that I’m surprised I didn’t start getting angry, or cursing, or crying or showing some kind of emotion. All those people on that bus just sat there and watched me get cursed out and called names because I chose to ignore a crazy lunatic on the bus. Is this like Pay-Per-View or morning entertainment to them?

Things need to change. Not only do harassers need to be held accountable for what they do, the people who sit idly by and watch this stuff happen need to do so as well.

– anonymous

Location: 38B towards Farragut Square (Bus #2600), Washington DC

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It’s not about the veil; it’s about respect

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I wear the veil, and in my country many girls wear veils too, we are the biggest Muslim country.

I thought wearing the veil will always help me keep my dignity, or it’s kinda guaranteed to make myself safe. At least it will keep the stereotype that i am a “good girl” and “don’t messed up with me.”

But it was changed when i was in my high school.

Firstly, it happened when i was about go home, and there are some guys called at me: “Girl”.. I was ignoring them until they repeated many times, and said that i am a bitch because i was ignoring them.

I was pissed off, and then came to them and said, “What’s matter boys? You all SHOULD not talk to me that way, didn’t this veil prove you that i aint a slut?”

That was just the beginning. When i was in my first year of college, everyday i took the train. Then came one day, a stalker followed me from station until i took my train. In the train, he was standing behind me. And i’ve got a sexual harassment, because the train was very crowded, maybe no one notice that, he grabbed my ass, though i am wearing veil that time..

It’s kinda crazy, man sometimes doing crazy things because they often think that we, woman is weak and a second-class..

It actually wasn’t about wearing a veil or not. Any woman in this world SHOULD be RESPECTED, whoever they are..

– Movi Riana

Location: Bogor, Indonesia

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Stalked since I was 12

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When I was twelve, a man who lived down the street started following me to and from school, when I lived in Dawson Creek, BC. He would tell me that he missed ‘seeing my pretty face’ and that he wanted me to ‘come and visit him sometime.’ When I refused, he started stalking me.

I told my mom about it, and she told me it was my own fault for not being street smart enough. So I just tried my best to avoid him until I was old enough to move to a different city. In the six years that he harassed and stalked me, I suffered panic attacks and constant fear. My grades suffered, and I was eventually expelled from school.

I remember running from him one day after school, how he chased me through the trees beside the school. I was lucky that I was a fast runner. I was terrified, but I was also so ashamed. I felt like it was my fault, that if I was somehow smarter, or less pretty, this wouldn’t be happening to me. It wasn’t until later that I realized that the only reason he did this to me was because I was a girl.

– anonymous

Location: Dawson Creek, BC, Canada

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Apology from a harasser

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I walk from the bus stop to get to my job this morning, and a homeless man was sitting outside of Starbucks on M near Wisconsin. He shakes his cup at people walking by, but with me it’s “Hey, gorgeous” and “Hey, mami.”

I walk up to him and tell him that he shouldn’t call women he doesn’t know “gorgeous” and “mami” and that he needs to refer to them as “miss” or “ma’am.” He immediately apologized, said he meant “no disrespect,” and told me to have a nice day. I wished him a nice day as well.

I rarely get apologies from harassers. Usually when they get called out on their behavior they get irate, start throwing insults and get violent. But this guy was genuinely apologetic and I appreciated that.

I wish more harassers would follow his lead.

– Anonymous

Location: Georgetown, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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