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“I’ll bet next time he buys marshmallows”

October 4, 2009 By HKearl

Today I’ve been writing my street harassment book chapter on ways women can respond to harassers in the moment – if they feel safe enough to and wish to – and success stories illustrating those ways.  The stories come from my informal survey and from stories submitted to this blog and other anti-street harassment blogs. The Street Harassment Project has a whole depository of great stories and I got a nice laugh from the stories from one contributor in particular. (I don’t condone violence or insulting harassers and I’m not including either of these stories in my book, but it’s hard not to feel some vindication at the outcomes of the stories when too often men get away with this kind of crap)

“Construction sites are full of men who hoot & holler, make rude gestures, etc. They feel safe in doing so, because they’re behind fences, on scaffolds, and with thier buddies. Cowards!

I had to walk past one such site at least twice a day. I’d heard comments, but none of these men had ever actually addressed me. Until a specific afternoon, when one of these guys hollered, “Hey lady, come up here and suck my dick!”

I’d had enough. I have a smart mouth anyway, and before I even thought about it I yelled back “Well maybe I would if I could FIND it under that fat gut of yours!” Jeez. Even I was embarrassed, but his buddies on the scaffolding nearly fell off laughing, and the women near me cheered.

From then on, when I walked past that site, all these guys would dare holler at me was “Hi lady! How ya doin’? Nice day huh?” with big grins on thier faces. And I never heard another lewd commect from ANY of them to ANYONE the whole rest of that remodel. I felt like Wonder Woman!

….

A friend of mine worked nights at 7-Eleven and a creepy little guy browsed around the store until he was the only customer, then brought a can of creamed corn to the counter. She turned aside a bit to ring it up, and when she turned back, he’d taken his willie out and laid it on the counter. She panicked, and did the first thing that came to mind…she smashed it as hard as she could with that can of creamed corn. Split it down the middle. She called 911, totally freaked, and one of the policemen said to her, as they hauled this pervert away in the ambulance, ‘You did a good thing here. Don’t feel badly, he had it coming. I’ll bet next time, he buys marshmallows!'”

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: 7-11, construction workers, flasher, sexist, sexual harassment, street harassment

Dirty school girl outfit

October 2, 2009 By Contributor

One time a man followed me down the street when I walked past a bar. He grabbed my shoulder and asked me if I was able to model for him, he wanted to take photos of me in a dirty schoolgirl outfit. I had just turned eighteen, so I couldn’t get him in more trouble. He wouldn’t leave me alone and kept on touching me. I started to scream and he got angry, but then a friend of my fathers saw what was happening and rescued me.

The thing is, the man didn’t smell like booze at all, he wasn’t drunk. He got dragged away by my father’s friend calling me a cunt and a slut and a bitch and told the police when I called them that it was my fault. I was just walking by… I was wearing a big oversized shirt and regular jeans. I just stood there and cried. I called my dad and he came to pick me up.

– anonymous

Location: Provincetown, MA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: school girl outift, sexual harassment, street harassment

Refused to take ‘no’ for an answer

September 29, 2009 By Contributor

One of many incidents during my daily commute (by bus) involved being followed by a man who refused to take “no” for an answer.

After getting off the bus at a terminal near my office, I walked past this person, a younger guy, probably in his mid-20s. Even though I didn’t make eye contact, he attempted to get my attention. Without looking at him, I said something to the effect of “sorry, I’m not interested” and kept walking to the pick-up spot for my office’s shuttle.

Within minutes he was there and insisting on starting a conversation despite my having told him twice, at this point, that I wasn’t interested. I was forced to just smile and nod and tolerate him until my office shuttle arrived.

Its arrival gave me an easy out of the one-sided conversation, but I was incredibly embarrassed at the prospect of being seen with this guy and having to explain why he was talking to me in the first place. Even though there was no real threat, as we were in a crowded area, my sense of fear and humiliation is as intense now as it was then.

– anonymous

Location: Philadelphia, PA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: philadelphia, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

Refused to take 'no' for an answer

September 29, 2009 By Contributor

One of many incidents during my daily commute (by bus) involved being followed by a man who refused to take “no” for an answer.

After getting off the bus at a terminal near my office, I walked past this person, a younger guy, probably in his mid-20s. Even though I didn’t make eye contact, he attempted to get my attention. Without looking at him, I said something to the effect of “sorry, I’m not interested” and kept walking to the pick-up spot for my office’s shuttle.

Within minutes he was there and insisting on starting a conversation despite my having told him twice, at this point, that I wasn’t interested. I was forced to just smile and nod and tolerate him until my office shuttle arrived.

Its arrival gave me an easy out of the one-sided conversation, but I was incredibly embarrassed at the prospect of being seen with this guy and having to explain why he was talking to me in the first place. Even though there was no real threat, as we were in a crowded area, my sense of fear and humiliation is as intense now as it was then.

– anonymous

Location: Philadelphia, PA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: philadelphia, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

I’ve had…

September 28, 2009 By Contributor

I’ve been harassed more times than I can remember, starting when I was fourteen. I’ve been followed for blocks. I’ve had men walk up to me and say “I want to fuck you.”

I’ve had my ass grabbed. I’ve had lewd comments made about my body. I’ve had men ask me to get in their cars. I’ve had men stop their cars and get out to harass me as I walked down a quiet street. I’ve had men take my photograph. I’ve had a taxi driver pull off the street and ask me if I was a virgin. I’ve had men ask me for dates in the grocery store and get angry when I ignored them.

I’ve been grabbed roughly by the arm by several different men on several different occasions because I dared to ignore their greetings. I’ve been called a bitch. I get stared at all the time by men I don’t know. I have men approach me with personal questions. Even while with my husband or my dad, I’ve had men say things or blatantly stare at me. If I’m wearing sunglasses, men start asking what co lor eyes I have. I’ve had men intimidate me into giving them my (made-up) name and (made-up) phone number. I’ve been called a whore. I’ve had men say they’d like to grab my tits. I’ve had taxi drivers shout at me that their taxi is free.

Men stare at my breasts all the time. I’ve been fondled by multiple men while stuck in a crowd. I’ve had a man stick his hand up my skirt. I’ve had another man stick his hand down the front of my dress. I’ve had men persist in trying to get a date with me for near an hour, when I’m merely trying to browse the bookstore. I’ve had men offer unsolicited critiques of my clothing.

I’m in my early thirties now and I avoid going places where I think harassment is likeliest. I avoid eye contact with all unknown men. I frown while out in public. I walk fast. I *never* relax in public and always feel like I am on display. I’m frequently bitchy to men who try to strike up a conversation with me. I’m scared every single time I walk past a man on the street.

– anonymous

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: groping, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

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