Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Morning Vulgarity

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I get sexually harassed on a daily basis in DC, so for me to post here regularly would get laborious. But I recently had one of the worst episodes so far, and I thought it was worth sharing:

It was about 10 am, and I went to my porch to wait for the plumber. I was standing in my doorway in casual board shorts and a generic tank top, hair back. Basically my grubby pajamas.

There was a lot of traffic on my street (P & 10th NW), so cars were haulted. I noticed a man in a van was trying to get my attention by motionining with his hand that I should come toward him. With the other hand, however, he was making a “V” with his fingers, and very specifically using his tongue to graphically immitate vaginal oral sex. I was in such shock and so horrified that all I could do was stare in disgust rather than simply walking away like I usually do. Moments later, he changed the “V” hand to a fist, and started bobbing his head up and down over it, imitating a blow job, all the while using the other hand to motion me over toward him.

Because I had just filed a police report the night before about someone that sent me a text message of their erection, I was feeling particularly vulnerable and intolerant, so I screamed “Do you want me to call the cops, @sshole?”

–To which he laughed and screamed back, “No, I want your p*ssy!” before driving off.

I know people say we should just let these experiences roll off our backs, but when they happen day in and day out, and you are a female alone in the city when they happen, it really wears on you. I was so disgusted, and felt so violated that I simply broke down crying in frustration.

It is truly exhausting how often I experience this type of thing.

– anonymous

Location: Washington, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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CTA bus drivers voice concern about new anti-harassment policy

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The Chicago Sun-Times has a follow up article to the one I reported on two weeks ago about how the Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) is expanding its policies on how bus and rail operators deal with harassers because of the activism of the Young Women’s Action Team.

Some bus drivers say that they weren’t informed about the new policies ahead of time and they have concerns with the changes. In part, they are concerned that if they intervene it could be dangerous and/or lead to complaints against them by the harasser.  They would prefer to call 911 for intervention – and ask that police respond promptly – rather than deal with it alone themselves. What this tells me is they must see a LOT of harassment because if this was a once in a while occurrence, it probably wouldn’t be so burdensome or worrisome to them.

I’m interested to find out how the implementation of stricter anti-harassment policies will play out on Chicago’s public transportation system.

Side note, I quickly glanced at the comments below the article and found this gem near the top:

“If the women that ride the C.T.A, don’t want a person(man)talking to them stay at home, don’t dress so in a way that a man is provoke to say something to her, besides she-they may not have job anyway.”

*Sigh* so much educating about street harassment to do!

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Creepy Driver

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I was walking from my house to the Potomac Avenue Metro station in DC on a hot Saturday afternoon, unusually dressed up (for me) in shorts and a cute tank top to meet up with friends at a small party. A guy driving a silver SUV said something to me along the lines of “hey, you’re looking fine.” Inappropriate compliment by total stranger, bleh. But then, he kept driving extremely slowly and kept talking to me. At first, I think I just glanced at him and kept walking, I didn’t say anything.

When he kept creeping along beside me, I started to get nervous. I was near my trusted corner dry cleaners, and abruptly turned and went inside the cleaners. I told the lady there what was going on, and just chatted for a few minutes. I waited until I saw the creepy guy in the silver SUV finally drive away before going back out to the sidewalk. I shouldn’t have to duck inside off the sidewalk or feel afraid to get a little dressed up because of creepy guys harassing me, but this episode reminded me why I don’t even try to look cute more often. And it’s always worse in the summer when wearing a skirt or shorts or (gasp!) exposing arms or shoulders.

-anonymous

Location: Washington, DC

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Risky Conversation

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As a woman, I know that there is always risk in politely talking to a male stranger in public, particularly if he initiates the conversation. No matter how benign or polite the topic of conversation is at first, there is always a risk that he will not know when to stop talking and will end up continuing to talk to you, follow you, try to get personal information from you, and maybe do worse, until you have no choice but to be rude to get him to stop.

This has happened to me many times, most recently this past Friday evening during my commute from work in Washington, DC to my home in Virginia.

Around 5:15 p.m., I boarded on an orange line metro car. I sat down next to a man who had his eyes closed. I read a book. We stayed like this for about 18 minutes. Then about two minutes before my stop the man sitting next to me started fidgeting. As I was blocking his way out due to the way the seats are arranged, he turned to me and said, “When you get to the bottom of the page can you please get up, it’s my stop next.”

I said, “Don’t worry, it’s my stop too, so I’ll be getting up anyway.”

“Oh okay,” he said, “then go ahead and read some more since we’ll get up at the same time.” (He mumbled when he said it the first time so I had to ask him to repeat himself)

I put my book away though because we were almost there and he informed me again that it was okay for me to finish reading that page [as if I needed his permission…].

I said, “It’s okay I can’t concentrate anymore.” He said, “Yeah, I know how that is.”

We arrived at the stop and I got up and then smiled and nodded at him when I left to acknowledge that we had had a human interaction as usually no one talks to each other during rush hour on my metro line. He mumbled something as he stood up but all I caught was, “you are beautiful.”

I nodded again, feeling awkward, and left the metro car. On the escalator to leave the metro platform, he stood on the right side and I passed him on the left side, and as I passed (the escalator was filled with people, none of whom are speaking) he said to me, “I should have gone on that side.” I nodded, to acknowledge him, and kept walking up.

He caught up to me soon after the escalator and after we went through the metro card reader area, he walked beside me and again mumbled and again all I caught was something about how beautiful I am. At that point I became annoyed and worried that he was going to keep following me so I didn’t acknowledge him and hurried down the next set of escalators to my bus stop. Fortunately he went to a different bus stop and that was the end of that.

So in a matter of minutes the interaction went from an interaction I would consider acceptable (aside from him feeling the need to grant me permission to read my book) and polite to him making me feel objectified and uncomfortable. Just because I was polite and smiled at him, apparently he felt that was an invitation to follow me and comment on my appearance, not once, but twice. In the end, I had to be rude and stop acknowledging him before he would leave me alone.

It reminds me of the following quote by Sue Wise & Liz Stanley, authors of Georgie Porgie: Sexual Harassment in Everyday Life:

“Most sexual harassment involves men who think that they have the automatic right to demand the time and attention from women, and will invoke that right whenever they choose. And any woman is fair game by virtue of being a woman…most sexual harassment comes in shades of grey and beige; and more often than not it’s entirely ambiguous behavior that could be sexual harassment, but could equally well be seen differently” (115).

Have you had a similar experience?  How did you respond?

Location: Falls Church, VA

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Street Harassment in Portland, Oregon

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I am 17 and live in Portland, Oregon, a supposedly liberal city, but the street harrassment is constant. On a weekly basis I deal with the prolonged, creepy stares of men who are obviously twice my age. This isn’t a 5 second look over, this is a fifteen minute intense, no blinking, staring right at my chest for a 15 minute bus ride kind of staring. Every couple of weeks a man will do something suggestive along with the creepy stare. They act surprised when I don’t like it! The city train is also a terrible place to be. At one point a group of four teenage boys had an animated discussion about my breasts while standing about two feet away from me. I asked them to stop and they laughed and continued.

This sort of attention really bothers me, but it’s not the worst thing. Last summer I had just gotten my driver license. I was at a local city library, somewhere I had always felt quite safe. I checked out my books, walked through the parking lot, got in my car, locked the door and was just about to leave when this stranger walked up to my car and knocked on my window. So I roll down my window a couple of centimeters so I could hear what he was trying to say. He told me he had seen me in the library and wanted to go out. Again, he was probably twice my age. I was obviously much younger. I said no, rolled up my window, and drove away very shaken.

Street harassment is always annoying and frequently scary. I try not to let it limit where I go and what I do but it does. There are certain places I will not walk alone, I always sit as close to the bus driver as I can, and I avoid trains completely. I don’t think the clothes one wears matter much, but I avoid wearing tight shirts or tank tops if I’m going somewhere alone because I feel more visible and vulnerable. I wear shoes I know I can run in. I see guys on the street and think about where I can go if the comments get unbearable. It’s exhausting to be anywhere in public long because I have to be hyper-aware to avoid what potentially dangerous situations.

– I.

Location: Portland, Oregon

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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