Stop Street Harassment

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Harassed, followed, assaulted on Oxford Street in Liverpool

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[Trigger Warning — Sexual Assault]

I was walking home from a club late at night, having become separated from my friend earlier on in the night. I stopped on the steps of a cathedral close to my house to have a cigarette and look at the view, and as I came down the steps, a man came out of a side street and began to follow me.

He tried to talk to me and I politely told him that I needed to get home, and said goodnight to him. At that point, he began grabbing me by the waist, holding onto me tighter every time I slipped away from him. I turned around and screamed at him to leave me alone, by this point scared and beginning to cry.

As I walked behind the bus stop next to my home, he grabbed me again, this time refusing to let me go. He pushed his hand into my underwear, and sexually assaulted me.

Several cars drove past less than two metres away from where I was being attacked, in full view of the road, and as I can remember it was the fifth or sixth passer by who eventually stopped to help me.

– Anonymous

Location: Oxford Street, Liverpool, UK

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Man harasses, follows woman and her 8-year-old daughter

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A man slowed his car to follow me & my daughter (8 yrs old) on foot. He followed us for about a block yelling out his window that I’m sexy, I need to give him my number, at least my name, just hop in & talk to him for a little bit….

My daughter was obviously confused & uncomfortable, but I ignored him hoping she might think he wasn’t talking to me. I have a history of sexual assault & was merely focusing on controling my senses so that I wouldn’t dissociate. Then he pulled up into the driveway in front of us, cutting us off & yelled at my daughter: “Your mom is a fucking bitch-cunt-whore” before leaving in a fury. My amazing daughter yelled back that he was a stupid jerk & pulled me off the sidewalk, toward the park nearby where there was more people on foot.

Now, even though my only “invitation” for such threateningly creeptastical behavior was to fearfully ignore his graphic catcalls, the other family nearby looked at me instead as if I had caused the entire interaction & they held their children closer as we walked by. I do recognize the difference between a glance of disgust and a glance of pity. They directed their blame at the wrong person, just like when a rape victim is told she shouldn’t have gone out or she shouldn’t have worn a V-neck shirt. A more appropriate response would have been to ask if we’re alright!

My daughter asked me what the man’s words meant & why did all of that family look so mean at us. I told her there are no good answers to those questions. I told her I wish I’d been strong enough to tell him to go away when he first opened his mouth because following us was illegal. She said she knew I was scared because my hand was shaking in hers & that she would always be my hero when I need one.

We wanted to walk to the police station but we couldn’t remember what color the car was or any other details. We agreed that next time we would just tell such a person, “You’re breaking the law” & then we would tell them what they look like so they would know we would remember them.

– Tiffany Brown

Location: Small town outside of Syracuse, New York

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“This guy then ran after me and chased me”

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Last August I was walking home after a gig and as I live in Manchester City Centre I’d always been comfortable walking home on my own as its fairly busy. Sometimes you’d get wolf whistles or lewd comments from groups of men, but nothing that made me feel threatened.

Then last August, as I said, I was walking home from a gig when I got to Market St, which is close to where I live in the Northern Quarter. It was midnight so not as busy as during the day but still a fair few people around so thought I’d be ok, as I had been hundreds of times beforehand.

I’d just got to where the escalators from the foodcourt area, and I noticed this guy who was hanging around the seats near the escalators. I had a bad feeling in my tummy about this guy so I put my head down and quickened my pace. He seemed to notice me and pick on me as he came over and looked at me, I’ll never forget that look in his eyes, he was psycho! He obviously could tell I was intimidated and he said, “Run love, run” and I did. I always thought if i was in a situation like that I would stand up for myself but in reality I was terrified and just ran.

This guy then ran after me and chased me all the way up Market Street. When I got to High Street I had to stop to get my breath and I thought he had got bored but he hadn’t and he was chasing me still. So I ran along High Street and it was only that I bumped into someone I knew who walked me to my building that he didn’t catch up with me. What freaked me out even more is that about half an hour later, i was watching out of my bedroom window and I saw him cross the road in front of my building.

The incident really freaked me out and I’m still having anxiety problems related to this.

– Katie

Location: Manchester City Centre, United Kingdom

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Why many women are suspicious of men who really do just need directions

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I was in my neighbourhood, walking home from an appointment at around 10.30 in the morning. A man in a car pulled over and asked me for directions to a street, but I explained I didn’t know where it was. He then proceeded to follow me in his car while saying the most disgusting things about my body and what he wanted to do to me. I wasn’t far from home but I didn’t want to lead him right to my front door.

There was a fork in the road with a small strip of houses in the middle, and I went down the one opposite to where his car was heading and hid in the wheelie bin area as I was terrified. I thought he was going to bundle me into his car. I heard his car back-up and assessed my options. I was already ringing my housemates but there was no reply. I scanned the area and saw a young man in the distance and bolted towards him. As I reached him and began to explain what was happening, I heard the car screech away into the distance.

I reported the situation to the police but nothing ever came of it. I felt it necessary to explain myself to the police: I was only wearing jeans and t-shirt at the time (i.e. nothing provocative), although the police officer made it clear that this was irrelevant.

This was not the first or last time something like this had happened to me. To a large extent these incidents of harassment dictate to me what I leave the house wearing, particularly if I am on my own, but I generally find that it doesn’t matter what I’m wearing. I still get unwanted vulgar remarks, horns honked at me and sometimes even followed while being jeered at. It has definitely shaken my confidence in going anywhere alone, even in the day time, and makes me feel disgusting and inferior to be objectified.

– Anonymous

Location: Leeds, United Kingdom

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“The feeling of being trapped and helpless was quite strong.”

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Around 11:30 or 12 one night after work, I took a bus route that required me to walk a few blocks to my apartment. My building is right on a busy street and the front door was always unlocked. Among the people on the bus were a group of giddy young girls and an older, shady-looking man. He had been focused on the girls, but when I stood up for my stop, he got off the bus with me.

He followed me for three blocks, while I crossed and re-crossed the street and paused to see if he would pass (he didn’t). I reached my building but was afraid to go in because he would see it was unlocked. I waited at a well-lit bus stop, where a young man was waiting as well. The stalker remained across the street, occasionally staring at me (I stared back) and patiently waiting for me to move. I contemplated crossing the street to talk to him, but reflected the streets were quiet and he might be stronger (and faster) than he looked. I was stuck and helpless.

Fortunately, my live-in boyfriend was at home and came out to walk me around the back and inside my building, but otherwise, I would have had few options – nearly all the stores were closed and I didn’t have any friends nearby. The feeling of being trapped and helpless was quite strong. As a young woman, I am tired of being targeted by unsavory, creepy men. I shouldn’t have to walk around with a constant fear of being followed, watched or accosted.

– Victoria

Location: Eglinton Ave. W and Avenue Road, Toronto, Canada

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