Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Saddening: when women tell other women to just “deal” with street harassment

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So here we go. Another week of idiots thinking they can hiss and catcall to me. For no reason at all. Ok so it hasn’t been all that bad this time but it still left me feeling annoyed.

Harasser 1) I’m sitting on a bus with my boyfriend, then we decide to move seats because there wasn’t much leg space. After we move, we hear two young men sitting two seats behind us cough and the word ‘twats’ being said at the same time. I knew it was at us. And I’m sure it wasn’t an accident that they somehow came out with that word when they coughed! And both of them as well. Hmmm.

Harasser 2) Still on the bus, almost at our destination. I look out the window and see a van. And surprise surprise, I saw a nice view of a middle finger sticking up at the back window. Charming. What could I of done? Smiled and waved? Of course not. I happily gave them the finger back! Before the idiots drove on.

Harasser 3) This happened the day after. I was walking home from my boyfriends house and I wasn’t in a very good mood. Well certainly not in the mood to be whistled at! Yep, but thats what happens when you are in a ‘don’t mess with me’ mood and you have the ‘don’t mess with me’ look on your face. It’s called intimidation!

Dam so I’ve really taken some crap this week. As I said, it’s not really shocking or anything but still frustrating! I’ve had enough. I can’t go anywhere…

[Editor’s note: Here is a second submission from Clarice]

I do apologise, I know I’ve already sent one story yesterday but I just have to add this bit in… First of all, I had another harasser. This was after I sent the story. So… Harasser 4) I’m waiting for a bus to go home from the supermarket and just as the bus was coming, two boys on bikes rode past and shouted BITCH! at me. I could not say anything back to them. I was livid. It ruined my evening and I felt powerless. What did I do to deserve this crap? And to top it off, when I told my gran she just laughed and said ‘perhaps it wasn’t aimed at me’. It was.

Then to get my frustration out, I ranted about street harassment on an anger site. Most of the responses I had were awful. One said ‘you love it you slut’ another ‘show us your tits bitch’ and the one that saddened me the most was from a woman telling me it’s what men do and I should deal with it.

Yeah sure. Fine. Im a woman and because I have a vagina then I should deal with it. Ok from now on I will, after all boys will be boys (sarcasm)

– Clarice

Location: Wales, UK

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“All of a sudden, it wasn’t funny anymore. We felt threatened & uncomfortable.”

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My friend and I were walking to the deli one summer night to buy some snacks. It was about 8 p.m. and it was starting to get a little dark. As we were walking there, we received some whistles and some, “How are you ladies today?” but we just laughed because it was funny and a little flattering, I must admit.

While we were walking back, there was a group of guys across the street outside of a house just hanging out. Their ages ranged from maybe about 17-20. As we passed by them, a guy starting shouting some words to us but we didn’t hear him so we just kept on going. Then he power strided across the street full force, almost getting hit by a car, shouting, “Ayo mami, what’s good?” and, “I’m talking to you, turn around!”

He was coming towards us very aggressively and I was scared. A few of his friends had to hold him back because they noticed how obscene his behavior was. I was so scared, that I jogged away a little because my heart was beating intensely. The guy got very close, he almost grabbed me, but luckily his friend got him and apologized to us for his actions.

I was very shaken after this. He almost got hit by a CAR, but he kept going! We were only 13 at the time. Sure, we looked older than our age, but even if we were older, that is just not appropriate at all.

It did not feel good at all. We didn’t laugh. We weren’t flattered. All of a sudden, it wasn’t funny anymore. We felt threatened and uncomfortable. He crossed the line.

– Veronica

Location: Brooklyn, NY

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Street harassers crush her dreams of loving to live in the city

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I was at a stop waiting for public transportation to go home. I was new to the city, so walking alone wasn’t a big deal yet. As I was walking towards the platform from the mall, a few 40 year old or so men were standing in the corner, waiting for the same light rail. One of them shouted saying, “You know you’re hot. You know you are. I’d like to take you home and tear you up,” and the others laughed.

I did nothing but ignore, and feel my eyes start to swell. It just so happens that on my way home on the same evening, just ten minutes after that incident, I caught an even older man staring at me. I tried to ignore it, but when his stop came he looked at me and stated so everyone could hear, “You’re so beautiful you look like a model.”

I am from a small town, and could feel comfortable going to the mall in the evening. I am only 19 and I moved away from the city because of how frequent I would be bothered walking in the street. My dream since I was a little girl was to love living in the city.

– E

Location: Lloyd Center Mall Portland, Oregon

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“He grabbed my head and tried to whisper ‘You’re beautiful’ in my ear”

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I was taking public transportation and an obviously drunk guy came on with two swollen eyes and dried blood stains by one eye. Not trying to make this a race thing but i’m a black female and with some black men I know I cant even make eye contact or it will start. Not that all men harass and not that black men don’t harass others because they do but I have noticed they are worse with us because they think no one is going to intervene and they can get away with it.

Anyways so, I tried not to make any eye contact cause I just knew he was gonna say something to me. He came right to my seat, grabbed my head and tried to whisper “You’re beautiful” in my ear. Then he sat behind me. I told him there was no need to ever touch me and I don’t like people touching me and he said he did that cause he thought I had head phones on.

I go back to ignoring him and then he tells me he got beat up in the war just now and that’s why his eyes are swollen (lmao!). He keeps talking more nonsense and I tell him I have a boyfriend i’m gonna marry just to keep him off my back but of course he said he didn’t care and he starts pulling out his credit card saying he’ll take me wherever I want to go. He keeps trying to touch my shoulder and i’m like STOP TOUCHING ME but he wont and then he starts saying i’m not even his type and i’m a mess really loud and i’m like “oh I’M the mess”.

Meanwhile the driver is doing NOTHING to stop it. There was a girl that looked shocked and I could tell she wanted to say something but didn’t want to get involved so she wouldn’t get harassed as well. Finally he got off at the stop but I was totally humiliated and violated.

I’m 29 years old and have been dealing with it since I was about 15. Some men just see women as second class citizens and they have a right to say and do anything to us and get away with it. I have tried everything to get them to stop and nothing works.

– Anonymous

Location: Southern Illinois, near St. Louis, MO

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“It is not o.k. to follow women or to not take no for an answer”

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I was recently almost at my apartment building in NYC when a man who was hanging outside the deli at the corner said, “Hey, you’re really gorgeous.”

I ignored him of course and walked the half a block to my front door when I realized he was right behind me. He cornered me at my front door and said, “I’m sorry to follow you but I want to know if you want to continue this conversation.”

I said, “No, I can’t” which was stupid, I guess, because he thought “I can’t” meant, “I want to but I’m busy.”

And he said, “You chose your words carefully see you said I can’t…” I then got very forceful and told him I did not want to talk to him and he needed to leave me alone and walk away.

He became very belligerent and started ranting about how I was “retarded” and didn’t know how things work in this neighborhood because I must be from “Ohio or Seattle” or something.

I’m not, but I didn’t tell him I just kept telling him to leave and stop harassing me. I had my key in the first lock of the door but I was afraid that if I tried to go into the building he would try to push in behind me. I figured I was probably safer on the street where there were a lot of people walking around. He finally backed up enough for me to go inside. He was ranting and cursing and obviously very drunk as he was not only a complete jerk but making absolutely no sense at all.

I was pretty shaken up and extremely angry when I got inside. It is not o.k. to follow women or to not take no for an answer.

– Anonymous

Location: East Village, New York City

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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