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Street harasser in Kuwait smashes a car

December 21, 2011 By HKearl

Police in Kuwait are searching for a man who smashed a woman’s car after she ignored him on the street.

Gulf News:

“The woman was driving her car in Salmiya, the main shopping and restaurant area in Kuwait City, when a young man started following her and attempted to draw her attention, using signs and uttering sweet words. [emphasis is mine]

However, as she ignored him, he became furious and smashed her car several times before driving away from the scene.

The woman, although shocked by the incident, wrote down his car plate number and contacted the police who have launched a manhunt for the suspect.

Police in Kuwait have often to deal with repeated attempts by young men to draw the attention of girls and women, mainly in shopping complexes.”

I wonder what kind of “sweet words” he was uttering. Just as many harassers in the US call women “baby,” “sexy,” and “honey” one minute and then “bitch,” “ugly,” and worse, the next, this harasser changed his tune from sweet to destructive in a matter of minutes. Charming.

And non-harassing men wonder why women are wary or rude when they approach them! It’s because of experiences like this that make us distrusting of all, or at least of many, men we don’t know in public places.

Good for the woman for having the presence of mind to write down his license plate number even though she must have felt quite upset and shocked. Hopefully the police will catch him.

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: kuwait, street harasser

Outrageous harasser on the morning commute

March 24, 2010 By Contributor

Photo by contributor

I board the bus heading to work this morning. The driver wishes me “good morning,” I return the favor, tap my SmartTrip card and head to the back of the bus where I find an available seat. I get lost in space as I read my book.

At Rosslyn, a man comes on the bus, looking mad as I don’t know what. He’s rambling, cursing about this or that, and just gives me this bad vibe. He sits two seats down from me, clumping his backpack down between us really hard. He pulls out his paper, cursing while he reads.

He says something to me, but I ignore it, thinking he’s saying something ignorant. Then I chose to move away from him, and he gets pissed.

“Fuck you,” he says. “When a black man tries to talk to you, you run away, but when a white man talks to you you smile and get all happy. Stuck up black bitch! You love the white man’s dick. You’ll suck a white man’s dick! You ain’t shit anyway. You ain’t got no ring on your finger. Ain’t no one want you. And you got knotty dreads – nasty. You probably ain’t wash yo’ dreads ‘cuz you afraid…”

All this nonsense when I was trying to read a damn book!

I pull out my phone…

“Go ahead, call someone! You ain’t got no one to talk to,” he says.

…and take his photo in the rare moment he wasn’t looking. Then I head to the front of the bus, away from this fool, and ask the driver to call the police.

“This guy is on the back of the bus cursing at me for no reason at all,” I said. “Telling me I suck white man’s dick and other nonsense.”

The guy walked up front from the back of the bus and starts saying more crap! He’s directly behind me at this point.

“I opened a window and she got all scared and moved away!” the crazy man yelled. “I tried to ask her about the window and she ignored me and moved away.”

“I didn’t realize you opened a window!” I said. “You were sitting at the back of the bus, cursing and ranting, talking about me sucking white man’s dick—“

“Watch your mouth!” the driver snapped. “You two need to stop.”

Why was I getting blamed? I didn’t raise my voice or curse, and I was only repeating what the guy had been saying to me.

“Go ahead, cry and whine to the driver,” the crazy guy continues. “You all fine until someone insults you, then you want to cry like a baby.”

“I am not crying,” I said, calmly. “You don’t see me crying.” This was so frustrating.

The crazy guy goes to the back of the bus, still ranting and cursing, and a nice gentleman gave up his seat in the front of the bus so I could get away from this guy. I had the foresight to have Metro Police’s number on my phone, so I called them, described the guy, told them the bus route and bus number, and where we were located at. Sure, the driver can tell me “good morning” but he’s pretty much useless for anything else.

The crazy guy got off a few stops before I did, so I called Metro Police back to let them know that.

“You’ve just gotta stay humble,” the guy at the front of the bus said. “Guys like him are everywhere. All you can do is keep your cool, don’t let it get to you…” and stuff I was just too distracted to take in at the moment.

When I got off the bus I thanked the guy and told him to have a good day. Yet I feel numb. I’m just so used to being sexually harassed that I’m surprised I didn’t start getting angry, or cursing, or crying or showing some kind of emotion. All those people on that bus just sat there and watched me get cursed out and called names because I chose to ignore a crazy lunatic on the bus. Is this like Pay-Per-View or morning entertainment to them?

Things need to change. Not only do harassers need to be held accountable for what they do, the people who sit idly by and watch this stuff happen need to do so as well.

– anonymous

Location: 38B towards Farragut Square (Bus #2600), Washington DC

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: bus harasser, racial harassment, sexual harassment, street harasser, street harassment, Washington DC

Arrested for defending self against street harasser

March 20, 2010 By Contributor

Today I was arrested for defending myself against a man who was sexually harassing me and verbally assaulting while putting my life in danger in my car.

I was driving down Wilshire Blvd and there was a man, light skinned hispanic or black man, who was driving a 4 Runner, driving alongside of me as I was driving my car. Intitally, he was on the left side on my passenger’s side making a pass towards me. I used my hand to indicate that I wasn’t interested and that is when he crossed lanes and got on  my driver’s side and started calling me a “bitch,” and other hideous names. The whole time he was riding dangerously close to me.

Feeling threatened, that is when I pulled out my mace and sprayed his car. He then proceeds to continue to stalk me as I drive through traffic. I arrive at a parking lot where I know the people and he gets out.

I see him on the phone and that is when I call the cops. The cops came out after about 1 hr to 1 hr and 30 minutes and the attitudes of the cops is what repulsed me even more. They tell that I shouldn’t of said or did anything, despite the fact that he was assaulting me (calling someone “bitch” is considered assault) and I really didn’t say anything.

They told me that I should have called the cops even after I explained to them that in the past when I have called the cops for stuff like that, the cops would just dismiss it off as “A pretty girl complaining about a guy ‘bothering’ her,” and not take it seriously. They angrily told me that I shouldn’t of used the pepper spray. I saw them cajoling with the guy on “man stuff.”

The worst thing of was when they said that, “All of this could have been avoided if you had gone in another direction.”

They also told me that had I cursed him out I would have been seen as the aggressor. They arrested me for it, then let me go, but not without taking my pepper spray and my camcorder.

What I went through was pure horror and I didn’t deserve it. How dare a perp – who has prob gone to prison (I noticed he had prison tattoos) – have more rights over someone like myself simply because I was merely defending myself. The problem here is not me, but our society.

No man or woman has the right to strike at someone simply because that person refuses to bend to their advances. Most importantly, that person shouldn’t have power to punish someone who was merely defending herself against a vicious assault on her personhood.

Now I have to face the city attorney simply because I refused a man’s advances. Where did our system go wrong? I need legal counsel, information on places that deal specifically with ending street harassment and codifying it into law.

The problem will persist as long as law enforcement not only turn a blind eye, but give the perps a “pass” by making it seem like it is a case of “boys will be boys,” while girls are supposed to be punished for being girls AND women. I don’t know what to do. I am pissed, but I don’t know what to do or where to go? If you have info on feminist lawyers or feminist/ anti-street harassment orgs, please forward them to me. This has got to stop.

We live in America and, basically, in effect, the guy can curse me out, call me names, stalk me, etc, but the only way I can avoid issues is to not be seen nor walk out in public like women in Islamic countries. For the kicker, the man can attack me and call me any names he likes, yet, when I fight back by calling him a name or take action, it is MY fault!

Funny thing was, when I had a man arrested for battery, the cops were cajoling with the perp with the male officer saying to me, “You know he can sue you for false arrest and imprisonment, right?” Basically, our judicial system is marred by a long time tradition of misogyny and anti-woman attitudes.

What happened to me today; I didn’t deserve it NOR all the women victims of domestic violence who go silent since they know the cops will do nothing – as I explained to the three officers today – and will only then act when the woman decides to act in self defense all because the cops didn’t do anything!

BTW the sickening aspect of it was that the cops was asking the guy if he would accept an apology from ME!
– anonymous
Location: Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: arrested, bad cops, los angeles, street harasser, wilshire boulevard

Apology from a harasser

March 18, 2010 By Contributor

I walk from the bus stop to get to my job this morning, and a homeless man was sitting outside of Starbucks on M near Wisconsin. He shakes his cup at people walking by, but with me it’s “Hey, gorgeous” and “Hey, mami.”

I walk up to him and tell him that he shouldn’t call women he doesn’t know “gorgeous” and “mami” and that he needs to refer to them as “miss” or “ma’am.” He immediately apologized, said he meant “no disrespect,” and told me to have a nice day. I wished him a nice day as well.

I rarely get apologies from harassers. Usually when they get called out on their behavior they get irate, start throwing insults and get violent. But this guy was genuinely apologetic and I appreciated that.

I wish more harassers would follow his lead.

– Anonymous

Location: Georgetown, DC

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: apology, hey gorgeous, sexual harassment, Stories, street harasser

Not expecting to have to be on the defensive

August 9, 2009 By Contributor

I live in South Side Chicago, and I like to get my hair cut on the North Side. I take public transportation, so for me, this means taking the Green Line.

It was an early appointment and I had had a long day; I fell asleep on the way back. I’m woken up by someone hitting me on the knees. It’s some creep in glasses and a do-rag. “Regulations apply to everyone. No sleeping!” Groggily, I get up to see what stop we’re at. Still seven away from mine. I try to make polite conversation (I’m still in North Side mode). The creep is not only a jerk, but incomprehensible. I go sit down on the other side, because I am not in the mood for a fight.

He follows me, sits right across from me. He waits until I get off at my stop, and starts making obscene comments. I am tired and in no mood to fight, so I wait for him to pass and go home.

If I were more awake, I would have argued with him. As is, I’ve been hit with esprit d’escalier all day, and pretty mad at myself for not saying something. I punched a guy on the Beijing subway for groping me; I was just not expecting to have to be on the defensive here.

It happens all the time on the Southside; catcalls are the norm. And the worst part? It’s much, much worse if you’re a Black woman. I’m Asian; thankfully, this intimidates some of them. My roommate, however, is Black. Once this guy followed her for several blocks trying to get her number, even after she made it clear she wasn’t interested. She makes eye contact with a guy, he starts seriously harassing her. When we talk together past single men or men in groups, we know we’d better be in a very involved conversation.

Usually, police presence keeps the guys from bothering you too much, but that’s so rare around here. My roommate has given me one good mantra to keep in mind, though: “What makes them think they have the right to talk to ME?”

– Sandra

Location: Green Line Subway in Chicago

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: Asian, Black, catcalls, chicago, green line, north side, southside, street harasser

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