Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
I was walking alone near the cultural center in Denver, Colorado in the early afternoon. While crossing the street, a man at least twice my age (I was 18 at the time) said something like, “Hey baby, why don’t you come home with me?” I was offended, but ignored him and kept walking. Nothing came of it.
– anonymous
Location: Denver, CO
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So today I’m coming home at midday on the tube, wearing the sexiest outfit ever of jeans, trainers and long sleeved shirt, minding my own business – reading and listening to my headphones.
A bunch of five boys get on my carriage, probably about 18, all making a row and making sure everyone hears how ‘cool’ they are throughout the carriage. I’m aware they’re looking over and trying to get my attention so I continue reading and don’t make eye contact. As more people get off the carriage, I’m now the only person in that section of seating with them. They now start making loud comments about the girls they went out with last week, in graphic detail. Smooth. Clearly annoyed that I’m not paying any attention, they move on to making direct comments about me amongst themselves: “Can’t stop reading, look”; “It smells a bit musty in here” (and then, when I get up to get off at my stop, “Ugh – it smells worse now” (laughter)). Seriously – at 18?! This is akin to those boys who used to complain that it smelled ‘fishy’ whenever a girl walked past when we were in middle school. Unfortunately they get off at the same stop as me, so I pointedly walk past very briskly with my head high and looking straight ahead – cue more looks of consternation that I’m not interested in whatever they’re doing or saying.
I have to say there was some slight satisfaction in how thoroughly pissed off they were about a girl ignoring their desperate pleas for attention.
– Jen
Location: London, UK
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I’m from Reykjavik, Iceland, and I want to share my story as a warning to other women.
Although I do get a lot of verbal harassment in the US, I feel somewhat safer here than back home in Iceland, because the stories you hear there are mostly about rape. That said, I haven’t heard of any statistics that imply that rape is more common in Iceland than anywhere else. What I’m implying is that even though a country or culture does not present itself as male-dominated or predatory (through common cat-calling to insults and grabbing, for e.g.), there is always a chance of danger, unfortunately.
One Saturday night I was sitting on a bench on the main shopping street in Reykjavik, Iceland. I was drunk and tired, and against my better judgment, I sat down on the bench to take a break from walking home. Within a minute, a guy around 20 years of age approached me. He said that I shouldn’t sit there alone, I looked like easy prey and that he would like to walk me home, to make sure that I would be safe.
I said that I was glad for his concern, but that I would be fine by myself. He kept insisting, saying that he would feel awful if he didn’t make sure that I’d get home safely. He seemed very genuine and sweet, so I gave in.
During the fifteen minute walk to my house (I was living with my parents at the time) we talked about what we do, and mostly his girlfriend, whom he said he was in love with.
When we got to my house he asked to come in, he needed to call a cab and didn’t want to wait in the cold. I was reluctant, but said OK. When we got inside we sat on my bed, because there was nowhere else to sit, and he began touching my shoulder and thigh, asking for a kiss, just one kiss.
I was shocked. I asked him about his girlfriend, who called at that very moment, and he lied to her straight about being at a party and explaining that it was quiet because he was in the bathroom!
His taxi came and he ran out the door, thankfully.
After this incident, I don’t trust anyone to walk me home except my husband and some very close friends. The fact that this guy used my fear of sexual assault to harass me in such a calculated way is alarming. I HATE to say this, but women, be vary of strange men, even the “nice” ones.
– K.
Location: Reykjavik, Iceland
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The first time that someone harassed me I was 16 and the offender in around 80 years old. I was waiting on my buss listening to music and suddenly this old man is asking me something. I take out one of my headphone and listen what he got to ask. “Is this where the bus to … leaves” (I don’t know where he had to be anymore), so I answer and want to go back to my music, but he starts talking about the second world war and all his friends he has lost. I didn’t want to be rude so listen. I thought: “This is just a lonely old man who needs someone to listen to him once and a while.”
Suddenly his hand is on my leg and I start to feel uncomfortable, but didn’t knew how to react. This was the first time this happened to me. So I move away from him. He pretends it didn’t happen and goes further with his story. After a while his bus arrives and he says: “Oh well. That’s my bus. Care to join me?”
I tell him I didn’t. He keeps repeating his question a couple of times and tries to touch my leg again. I keep saying no. After a while I get sick of it and just leave. This happened 5 years ago and I still feel disgusted by it.
– anonymous
Location: Ghent, Belgium
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The first time I was ever made to feel frightened of a man in a public place was when I was 4 years old. We were at West Edmonton Mall and I was walking a little bit behind my mother. A group of guys surrounded me and one picked me up and pretended to carry me away. I screamed and kicked and they put me down. They walked off laughing about the incident.
– Sarah
Location: West Edmonton Mall, Edmonton, Canada
Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.