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“I am a feminist, yet I am a victim”

April 30, 2012 By Contributor

This article excerpt is cross-posted with permission from the blog Organica: The Story of an Arab American Girl.

I am writing about my everyday experiences as a single woman living in Cairo, Egypt. I travel independently, run my own life and refuse to allow harassment or male behavior hinder my life. I am writing about the price I pay for braving the road, the protests, the streets, and the sit-ins. I am writing about how my feminism feels helpless and often afraid.

Here it goes: my name is Hana and I am an empowered victim.

When I lived in the United States between 2006 and 2011, I used to dream about the day I’d move back to Egypt so that I could yell and shame every man who sexually harassed me on the street. I thought it would feel empowering. I was wrong. Not only is it extremely draining and tedious, it quite often takes a scary turn. Sexual harassers thrive on getting a rise out of their prey.

This is not an article on sexual harassment, but a glimpse of my life.

On the Road:

Everyday my mother looks at me with terror: ‘khali balak men nafsik winabi ya benti’ [take care of yourself my daughter] before I leave the house, and my response is ‘Mami haye7sali eh ya3ni? Mate2la2eesh’ [Mom, what do you think could possibly happen to me anyways? Stop worrying!]. But in reality, I’m wrong and she’s right. She should be worried for my safety. I am often instructed to reconsider my outfits when I am driving alone and I argue that I am not going to let men affect my choices.

The driver-to-driver harassment is rampant in Cairo. One time while in stagnant 6th of October bridge traffic, I was texting on my phone (traffic was at a complete standstill).

The driver in the car next to mine said: “I hope this phone falls on the car mat, so that you may bend down to get it, and I’d drive into you, ya know what I mean?”

I yelled “balash elit adab w 2araf’ [I don’t want disrespect and disgust], which he responded “ba2a keda?” [Like that, eh?] – And then he followed me to my house all while making further obscene comments.

There was nothing I could do to protect myself from this bully – I was helpless.

Protests:

I moved back to Egypt on July 5th. On July 8th there was a million man march and the beginning of a sit-in. That Friday was my first ever protest in Egypt. I dressed appropriately and took to the streets with immeasurable excitement. Given that I moved back to Egypt for the revolution, I thought nothing could taint my first experience in a protest – I was wrong.

A man approached with his three friends and asked about the color of my bra – apparently he preferred white ones. I yelled and said that I would scream if he said anything which made him and his friends laugh loudly – at me – declaring that I am crazy but a ‘hottie,’ and a crazy-hottie combo would be great in bed. I pulled out my pepper spray but it failed to reach my monsters.

The day continued along the same lines, I got groped several times, one of which was actually from the front (I did not know that was even possible), and another by a 12 year old CHILD who I caught and yelled at. I was scared and felt vulnerable although equipped with my knife and pepper spray. There was nothing I could do and it felt awful.

The Streets:

There is no ‘that street’ story because there are countless street stories. They all revolve around the same thing: being verbally and quite often physically assaulted by men. Forget the catcalls, and the comments (I was once told that I am attractive, but would be much more attractive if I lost some weight), but the physical harassment is unbearable.

My street story is by no means special. I was walking home, turning at a corner, when a man’s hand came out of a car window and groped me (it was painful). The car had 4 or 5 guys and I could hear them laugh at my humiliation. I continued walking, feeling disgusted when the car appeared again, and one of the guys in the car so kindly suggested that it was obvious that I wanted to get groped again.

Yeah, that felt awful too.

…

Reality:

The worst thing that I face as a woman who refuses to let such actions hinder or inhibit her is the feeling of helplessness. I am a feminist, yet I am a victim. I know for a fact yelling back or even screaming at harassers is effective, some do actually apologize when shamed, but I also know that NOTHING will stop these men except actual punishment. I am a woman who never uses the metro, microbuses, buses and I rarely use taxis, yet I face this much harassment. I can only imagine what the women who do use public transportation face on a daily basis. I presume I’d have to multiply my experiences by a hundred.

I do not pray often, but I pray that the day comes when I feel safe walking the streets of Egypt; I walk them now anyway, but I feel weak, vulnerable and helpless and it feels awful.

–An Egyptian Woman.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: Egypt, groping, hana elhattab, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

Walk for Respect in Nepal

April 28, 2012 By HKearl

Today 500 youth participated in a Walk for Respect against street harassment/sexual harassment in Kathmandu, Nepal.

Via YouTube:

“We silently walked through footpaths carrying various banners and placards up to Kathmandu Durbar Square.

Objective
1. To sensitize the greater problem among youths as well as other people i.e. eve teasing and sexual harassment.
2. Boost the morale of the people to face the challenges in this issue
3. Aware the people of existing laws and policies of Nepal
4. Gather public support to force the government to take necessary steps in these issues.
5. Warn the culprits that their misbehaviors are illegal and they can be punished for their misdeeds.”

Via CNN:

“The main theme of our campaign is to sensitize the greater problem among youths as well as other people i.e. eve teasing and sexual harassment. We want to boost the morale of the people to face the challenges in this issue and aware the people of existing laws and policies of Nepal. Eve teasing and sexual harassment are serious violation of Human Rights. As an aware conscious citizen we cannot tolerate the violation of Human rights. That’s why this issue needs to be addressed immediately and needs to be acted ASAP.”

One of the participants Pragya shakya said, “It’s high time we raise our voices. We have been suppressed in so many ways and why should we always suffer. The Government has made the rules against eve teasing and sexual harassment so why are we keeping our silence. We will not keep our silence it’s our right to speak, walk and talk with freedom and no one can take this away from us. Like said above people have no right to tell us what to wear first they should stop thinking bad. It’s my right to be who I’m but it’s against law to make me feel harassed.”

Good for them for speaking out!

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Filed Under: Events, Stories, street harassment Tagged With: eve teasing, Nepal, sexual harassment, slutwalk, street harassment, walk for respect

Afghanistan Videos: This is My City Too

April 26, 2012 By HKearl

The Afghanistan-based organization Young Women for Change celebrates its one year anniversary this week! The young women who lead the organization continue to make street harassment one of their central issues of concern (read an article by co-founder Noorjahan Akbar about her harassment experiences). Below are two new videos they produced about street harassment, with English subtitles.

They’ve conducted a 4,000 person study about street harassment in Kabul and it will be released this summer at a press conference event. This is the largest study on the topic that’s ever been conducted. If you can, please donate a few dollars to them as the funds will enable them to print women’s stories and the survey results and then hand those out to attendees and people in the streets. Most Afghans do not have computers/Internet access so print materials is the best way for Young Women for Change to spread their message.

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Filed Under: Resources, street harassment Tagged With: Afghanistan, street harassment, young women for change

“The veil would never protect anybody from getting harassed, not even niqab. As long as they [men] know that under that niqab or under that veil, there is a woman, they will sexually harass you”

April 22, 2012 By HKearl

Via Tunisia Live

This is a really great, thorough article about street harassment in Tunisia. I’m including an excerpt and encourage you to read it in its entirety.

Via Tunisia Live:

“…With a progressive Code of Personal Status, Tunisia is commonly regarded as the Arab world’s most advanced country in terms of women’s rights. Yet sexual harassment exists in Tunisia, too. Unlike in Egypt, sexual harassment has not entered the arena of public discourse in Tunisia, and is often dismissed as a non-issue.

A recent survey conducted by the Tunisian National Office of Population and Family (ONFP) found that physical violence against women was most commonplace, followed by psychological violence, sexual violence and last, economic violence. While the survey found that violence against women was most common in the private sphere, it also revealed that violence against women in the public sphere is sexual in 21.3% of cases, psychological in 14.8%, and physical in 9.8%.

Sexual harassment is not just physical – but includes gestural, and even verbal, harassment. According to UN Women, sexual harassment can be, “making sexual gestures with hands or through body movements,” “hanging around a person,” “sexual comments,” or “unwanted sexual looks or gestures” – not to mention rape, pressure for sexual favors, etc.

For Meriem Manar (whose name has been changed to protect her identity), a student of business and English in Tunis, sexual harassment is a daily reality. “You cannot avoid it. Men are in the street with you, and you have to go to school, you have to go to work. Because it is in our daily life, because it is our every day experience, we end up accepting it. You leave your house mentally prepared. You just deal with it,” she said.

But this comes at a certain price to her liberty. “There are places that I cannot go alone, like parks…because I know I might be not just sexually harassed, but even raped…If you walk on Avenue Habib Bourguiba at night, you will not find a single female on the street. If you are alone at night and walking in the street, and somebody sees you, they will have the idea that you are going to a nightclub, or that you are meeting your boyfriend…that you are doing something your family would not be proud of.”

For Meriem, taking public transportation can often become unbearable. The everyday hassle of public transport turns into a nightmare for women in Tunis – regardless of their age, and their dress. “The veil would never protect anybody from getting harassed, not even niqab. As long as they [men] know that under that niqab or under that veil, there is a woman, they will sexually harass you,” says Manar. While no statistics exist for Tunisia, a study conducted by the Egyptian Center for Women’s Rights, in conjunction with the United Nations Population Fund and the European Commission, found that in Egypt, 72.5% of surveyed victims of sexual harassment were veiled.

Meriem yearns for a car reserved for women, like in the Cairo metro. But according to Chiao, segregation is not the answer. “I ride in the women’s car. But I think that as a policy or a solution, it establishes very bad norms. It promotes this idea that if a woman is riding in the men’s car, then she is looking for harassment, or that she brought it unto herself.”

The Legislation

Since 2004, sexual harassment has been punishable by law in Tunisia – with one year in prison and a fee of 3,000 dinars. Halima Jouini, a founding-member of the Tunisian Association of Democratic Women (ATFD) and a volunteer at the Center for Listening and Orientation of Women Victims of Violence, qualified this law as “limited” and “incriminating” for women.

“We launched this law in 2003…it was the ATFD that led the campaign. It was relatively successful – for the first time, sexual harassment was recognized as a crime. But still we are not satisfied – the law does not protect women,” she said.

At the time of the interview, Jouini was just returning from the tribunal in Tunis, where she had been defending the case of a rape victim. The woman in question was a housekeeper, who had been raped – sodomized, in fact – repetitively by her male boss. Upon confessing this to his wife, the housekeeper agreed to film the crime as evidence to take the man to court. But once this evidence was obtained, the wife pressed charges against both her husband and the housekeeper for adultery. The man, who possessed a Canadian passport, fled the country, leaving the housekeeper in prison – where she had been held for a month as of late March.

According to Jouini, the 2004 law’s definition of sexual harassment is limited in scope – as it delimits sexual harassment as strictly a repeated action. It is currently defined as “persistence in the harassment of the other by repetition of actions, words or gestures.” Citing the case of a woman who quit her job after she was harassed once in the workplace, Jouini pointed out that some women do not put up with the harassment, and choose to put an end to it after the very first occurrence. Jouini further explained that this makes it harder to collect evidence – as it is not always easy to prove that the harassment was repetitive.

The law further provides no protection to the plaintiff and witnesses, but instead explicitly states that if a case is declared nolle prosequi, or if the defendant is acquitted, then the defendant can ask for reparation, and sue the plaintiff for defamation.

Jouini questioned why this was recalled in the body of the law – when this principle underlies all laws included in the Penal Code. “This principle exists for the whole Penal Code, but to recall it in this very article is a way to say, ‘be careful women’…it is incriminating for the plaintiff.”

The Tunisian Association of Democratic Women (ATFD) calls for a comprehensive law on sexual harassment – one that would not only be included in the Penal Code, but also in the Tunisian Labor Code. Jouini pointed out that this was already the case in Morocco. The ATFD is also lobbying to include an article against discrimination and violence in the new Constitution – Jouini added that this has happened in several countries that underwent recent transitions, like South Africa and some Latin American countries.

Last but not least, the law against sexual harassment is couched in a moralizing rhetoric – it claims to discourage the “infringement of good mores and sexual harassment.” According to Jouini, sexual harassment is “a patriarchal discriminatory practice…You can’t justify this by good mores, or the lack of….”

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: sexual harassment, street harassment, tunisia

It’s time for new advice

April 19, 2012 By HKearl

Reston Paths

I was really irritated to read an article on my hometown’s Patch website (Reston Patch) with the headline “It’s Trail Season – Be Careful Out There.”

Fairfax County, where I live, is one of the safest in the country, but it’s still not safe enough. The article tells us:

“A woman told police a man walked up behind her and grabbed her bottom in the 11400 block of Waterview Cluster on April 1 at 6:30 p.m. The man fled in the opposite direction and has not been found or charged.

Police said a woman reported she was grabbed by a man on a wooded trail near Danbury Forest Drive in Springfield on Saturday. The woman yelled and fled.

The man was described as Hispanic, between 5’6” -5’9” feet tall and around 150-170 pounds. He was professionally attired in a white, buttoned shirt and a dark vest, black slacks and black shoes.

Around 12:30 p.m. on Saturday, a man whistled at a jogger in an area near Sully Park and Truitt Farm Drive. When she looked over, he was exposing himself and masturbating.

This incident may be another in a series of similar incidents in the Sully Police District in recent months. The woman yelled and saw him run down a paved path. She described him as olive-skinned with a protruding gut, green shirt and blue jeans. He was between 5’3” – 5’7” feet tall.”

Pretty disturbing stuff, right?

The article then lists advice from the police department:

* Try not to go out alone; if you do, make sure someone knows where you will be and when you expect to return.
* If possible, avoid using trails after dark.
* Do not use headphones at a high volume; make sure you can hear what’s going on around you.
*Always look ahead and see what or who is around you.

How is this helpful? All of the women were harassed and attacked during daylight hours, so the advice to not go out after dark is not applicable. There’s no indication that they were wearing headphones. It sounds like all of them were alert to what was going on around them and they were all able to get away from the creeps. The one thing they didn’t do was go out with a buddy.

Guess what, that ain’t happening. It’s impractical. It’s undesirable. It’s unequal.

Except in a war-torn area or high crime area, can you imagine telling grown men to not go places alone?  (And I know the advice was gender neutral, but really, after listing all those stories about women being harassed, it’s clear who the advice is for.) Why do we accept that it’s okay to tell this to women?

In the context of street harassment and sexual assault in public places, it’s pretty common to hear the words “stay safe” and “be careful” or admonitions to not go places alone or after dark. It’s funny since in general, women have been trained from a young age to be careful and we already limit our lives in ways we think, we hope, will keep us safe. We usually  already follow that advice when it’s practical. And we’re still harassed and assaulted. So isn’t it time for new advice?

While the police did share information on how to report harassers/assaulters, I would love to see information spread about other assertive responses people can have. I would love to see information listed about what bystanders can do. And maybe some kind of community outreach on this topic (..and as I write this, I recall how this is MY community so now I’m brainstorming what I can do offline to help with this issue…maybe I can collaborate with the division that manages the trails and we can post info every few miles about how to respond to harassers/assaulters and how to be good bystanders and post alerts about known perps.)

And of course, broadly, I’d love to see more focus placed on the potential perpetrators, not just on the potential victims/survivors, as a prevention tactic.

What are your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions?

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: reston patch, runners, sexual assault, street harassment, trails

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