Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Asking for it” – new PSA by Temple University sophmore

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Read the background story from PSA creator Kara Lieff:

‘Asking For It’ was made for those who believe that there is a definitive connection between a woman’s clothing choice and her sexual availability. Many people think that women who dress a certain way are asking to be, or wouldn’t mind being, bothered, but this satirical take on street harassment shows that what a women really wants does not coincide with her attire.

This video was created for a class, and the assignment was to make a video that would get viewers to accomplish a certain action. I knew that I wanted my video to be a conversation starter – for my viewers to discuss street harassment, their experiences, why it happens, who is to blame, and what can be done to combat this problem. By featuring college-aged adults, I especially hope to reach out to my peers early on.

My sister Megan not only helped me develop this project, but over the years she has been a huge influence in my life, helping to develop my ideas about women’s rights, safety, and representation. Through her, I have learned that we need to focus on the source of the problem, not placing blame on the victim.

Just the other night while waiting for a few friends outside, two men decided that because I was wearing a short dress and tights, it would be appropriate to call out to me. As, unfortunately, I’m sure many of you reading this know, it’s not a good feeling when you walk down the street from where you live and are made uncomfortable for simply being there. Street harassment is a huge problem, and any method used – whether it be talking back, writing, art, or videos – to fight back is a step in the right direction.

Kara Lieff is a sophomore studying Film & Media Arts and Women’s Studies at Temple University. She loves to bicycle around Philadelphia, cook with friends, and watch TV and movies, while (somewhat successfully) making enough time for schoolwork, her job, and clubs. She hopes to one day have a career dedicated to creating and maintaining positive messages and visibility for women in media.

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“I yelled that he just groped me. I literally started punching him in the head”

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Via NY Post -- Shyane DeJesus

22-year old college student Shyane DeJesus attacked, berated, and snapped a cell phone picture of a man who groped her on a subway platform in New York City.

From the New York Post:

“DeJesus, who lives in Queens, was headed to work at a shoe store at 9:50 a.m. Oct. 23 when the drama unfolded as she stood on the platform and leaned over the tracks to see if a train was coming.

That’s when she noticed a man sneaking up alongside her.

Before DeJesus could step away, the deviant began rubbing against her thigh.

“It was disgusting,” she said. “I felt so violated.”

When the downtown No. 6 train arrived, the man “grabbed my right shoulder and pushed my head down and lifted my skirt up and groped me,” DeJesus said.

Via NYPost -- Report this man if you see him!

She began fighting back, and the cowardly creep ran onto the train.

“He went on the train and sat down as if nothing happened. I was hysterical. I yelled that he just groped me. I literally started punching him in the head,” she said.

No one came to her aid.

DeJesus got in a few more knocks on her attacker, and, as the train pulled in to the next station, took her phone out of her bag.

“I held the door and positioned the phone in his face. I was shaking, I’m surprised I got it,” she said.

“He smirked when I looked at him. He never said a word, not a word. All I got was that smirk.”

DeJesus then got off the train and ran to her job, where she called police.

Cops are still searching for the man.”

While I don’t condone violence, I sympathize with her actions. When man after man gets away with sexually harassing, stalking, groping, and assaulting women on the streets, subway platforms, buses, and stores of our country, and when bystanders stand by and let it happen, there comes a breaking point. Maybe after getting kicked and yelled at by a person he thought he could easily grope, this perpetrator won’t be so quick to grope someone else. Especially if the police catch him. Good for DeJesus.

DeJesus is not the only New York City woman to have this type of reaction to groping. In the past year, we’ve heard from Nicola Briggs who was videotaped yelling down the man who rubbed against her and flashed her on the subway (he was later arrested and deported), Kate Spencer who hit the man who groped her on a subway platform, and Robyn Shepherd who chased down a man who smacked her butt as she walked down the street.

Street harassers, beware: more and more women are fighting back and not just figuratively and not just online, but actually, physically fighting back. So stop harassing us. We don’t like it, no one does. If you continue to harass us, you may just find out how much we don’t like it when you get a slap to the face or a kick to the groin. I don’t like violence, I don’t like harassment. Stop the harassment, there will be no violence.

And bystanders: do something if you see another person facing harassment! Ask them if they’re okay if you’re not sure if they’re being harassed or not. Just do something! Standing idly by is not acceptable.

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“At least your new hair cut screams, ‘Guys in trucks bark and howl now.'”

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“In this country we tend to be proud of the fact that we don’t cover “our” women in burkas. But, as bell hooks said — whether it’s obvious or subtle, oppression is oppression. Ubiquitously practiced sex-based public harassment is a form of oppression that we tolerate as women and cultivate as a society to our net detriment. This is a social injustice that undermines our most lofty claims about what America represents.”

Artist and writer Soraya Chemaly penned this in her recent powerful Huffington Post piece, “Street Harassment is Everywhere; What do We Tell Our Daughters?”

Her article is spot on and speaks to the way street harassment limits women’s equality with men and makes public places less safe for us, and acknowledges that this is a messed up thing to have to tell our daughters.

Last week I had the good fortune to chat with her about street harassment. One thing we discussed is how humor can be an effective tool for raising awareness about street harassment. Since Soraya is a witty and creative feminist as well as an excellent writer, over the weekend she cooked up a cartoon. Watch and share it widely! The transcript is below.

Friend 1:

Good morning. Are you going to work dressed like that?

Friend 2:

Is it obvious? I’m practically begging some random dude in the coffee shop to tell me I have a luscious ass. That way I can make a fake phone call while I wait for my coffee and he can call me a stuck up dyke. It’s a great way to start the day.

Friend 1:

It’s so nice out. Are you sure that’s what you want? Look at me. I’m wearing my Nice Tits dress.

Friend 2:

I did try on my How-Much-Baby skirt but then I’d probably just get a quiet dick flash on the bus.

Friend 1:

Yeah, but, at least your new hair cut screams, “Guys in trucks bark and howl now.”  They might even stop and offer you a ride. You could save on bus fare!

Friend 2:

I want to mix it up a bit, like when you lost all that weight last year.

Friend 1:

I know, but I sort of miss the compliments I used to get. You know, it was nice to hear Fat Slut now and then. No one ever calls me Thin Slut.

Friend 2:

You sound like my mom.  She was at the grocery store in her vintage dumb bitch jacket yesterday and all she got was some guy grabbing her butt.  He didn’t say a word.

Friend 1:

Aging sucks.  Your Where’s-my-smile-baby coat might lift her spirits.

Friend 2:

My sister borrowed it. You know how much she likes flirting with guys she doesn’t know by not smiling at them and averting her eyes. It is so her. Before I forget, could I borrow a hair bow?

Friend 1:

Sure, why do you need a hair bow?

Friend 2:

I’m on air today doing a live broadcast. The anchor, you know, what’s his name, always says I’m gods-gift-to-men and so I thought a bow would be a nice touch.

Friend 1:

No problem. It’s in my sports bag wrapped up in the gym clothes I wear to get guys to help me when I’m exercising. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

Friend 2:

Forget how to lift things probably. I’m so glad to know you got some come hither sweaty gross guy spandex.  Have to run.

Friend 1:

Have a great day!

Friend 2:

I will, you too!

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Interview: Sydnie L. Mosley and The Window Sex Project

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When I was in New York City two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to meet with Sydnie Mosely and talk about her anti-street harassment initiative The Window Sex Project. She has a big event coming up on November 12 and so I thought this was the perfect time to interview her so you all can learn about her creative project and how to get involved.

Stop Street Harassment (SSH): Hi Sydnie! To start, can you please share a little bit about who you are before we talk about the Window Sex Project?

Sydnie L. Mosley (SLM): Sure. I’m a New York City-based dancer, choreographer and teaching artist. I’m currently an Alumnae Fellow with the Barnard Center for Research on Women, a position that allows me to deepen my artistic work with the resources of the academy. I present my choreography with my Harlem-based company Sydnie L. Mosley Dances with works that seek to actively engage the audience’s physical and emotional senses with dance performance in addition to involving audiences in the artistic process. I earned an MFA in Dance with an emphasis on Choreography from the University of Iowa and a BA in Dance and Africana Studies from Barnard College.

SSH: Thank you. What is the Window Sex Project all about?

SLM: The Window Sex Project is a dance performance which addresses and tackles the every day practice in which women are “window shopped,” that is forced to bear unsolicited harassment from men while walking on the street. The Window Sex Project gives voice to these concerns and restores agency to women by celebrating their bodies in a public artwork informed by members of the Harlem community, for the Harlem community.

The work places women of varying races and body types on pedestals in an art gallery setting, forcing audiences to contend with the objectification of the female body in a contemporary society. The dance investigates how a woman’s sexuality is perceived based on these physical attributes. It aims to equally celebrate all the bodies which are unique, and do not fit into generic models of womanhood.

This work is grounded in personal experiences, feminist theory, and a collective need to take action. Much of the movement content was generated from women who participated in free workshops over the summer, who were asked to create movement expressions of their harassment experiences. This aspect makes this activist project unique. The Window Sex Project specifically uses bodies, the site of harassment, as the mode of response and activism.

The sound score orchestrated by Ebonie Smith includes newly composed instrumental and/or vocal selections, energetic dance beats, a collection of “hollas” heard on the street, and also the voices and bodies of the dancers. Visual media aspects of the work include projected video of Harlem women who participated in community workshops, as well as the work of some visual artists in Harlem. The show also integrates excerpts of “Can I Get A Smile?” a one woman theater show written & performed by Leah King.

SSH: I love the integration of body, dance, and activism. What inspired your project?

SLM: I was inspired by a simultaneous creative want to make a dance about a woman’s body & sexuality, and my own daily experiences with street harassment and a need to act out against them. [In this video, she expands more on her inspiration and why she decided to address street harassment]

SSH: What kind of response are you getting to your work?

SLM: Harlem artists, businesses, organizations and people in general have been extremely receptive and supportive of this work. People have been and continue to be involved with the project in a myriad of ways. Community members have participated in workshops this past summer which took place at Grosvenor House YMCA, Barnard College at Columbia University and the Harlem School for the Arts.

Businesses such as The Body Shop in Harlem, Land Yoga and The Best Yet Market made generous donations in food & give away items to our participants. Local artists & teachers graciously volunteered their time to co-facilitate workshops.

Women continue to be involved by being a part of our online video series in which we ask them to share their story. Incredible artists including dancers, painters, and musicians have graciously shared their talent, time and energy to bring this work to fruition.

Lastly, the Barnard Center for Research on Women has become a major supporter of the work providing a home base for continued research & planning to produce a published curriculum for workshops, and dance performances.

SSH: That’s great to hear. And lastly, how can people get involved with The Window Sex Project?

SLM: There are several ways:

* Submit an online video link to you sharing your story like these.

*Submit a guest blog to sydnielmosleydances@gmail.com with the subject “Guest Blog” about your street harassment or related experiences to be posted on the website.

*Become a producer of our performance project by making a tax-deductible donation in ANY amount, and encouraging others to do the same.

*Plan to lead a community workshop in your own neighborhood in 2012. Email sydnielmosleydances@gmail.com with your interest.

*Attend a Work In Process showing and give your feed back as we develop the choreography. Help us make sure the dance speaks to you and your concerns.

If you’re in NYC on November 12: You are invited to see the first draft of the full length dance on Saturday, November 12 at 5 p.m. HOORAY! The showing will take place at Land Yoga located at 2116 Frederick Douglas Boulevard (between 114th & 115th Streets). The performance will be followed by an audience feedback session. Please attend & contribute your constructive criticism. This is a community work & I value each of your opinions.

*Spread the word! Follow @sydmosley & @SLMDances. Be friends with http://www.facebook.com/sydnielmosleydances. Use the hashtags #windowsexproject & #streetharassment.

SSH: Thank you!

Sydnie recently spoke about her work on a panel at Activism & the Academy: Celebrating 40 Years of Feminist Scholarship & Action, a conference in honor of the 40th anniversary of the Barnard Center for Research on Women.

Expanding Feminism: Collaborations for Social Justice from BCRW Videos on Vimeo.

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How to act when you see a woman dressed “sexy”

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How to treat and respond to someone dressed “slutty,” “provocatively,” or “sexy” comes up a lot during discussions I facilitate on street harassment and sexual harassment in schools (‘Well why do girls/women dress that way if they don’t want the attention?”). I address this issue in my book and briefly on my website in the section “How to Talk to a Woman.” The bottom line is, no matter how someone dresses, treat them with respect.

Caperton at Feministe broke the issue down further in her excellent post “So There’s a Woman Dressed All Sexy-Like: Your Role as Observer“:

“There’s a lot of ongoing debate about what, exactly, a woman is looking for when she goes out dressed all sexy-like (which is itself a subjective concept). Men (and women) get ideas about exactly what that woman wants, what she welcomes, how they should behave toward her, what her all-sexy-likeness indicates. And guys, in particular, can come up with a thousand excuses for publicly ogling a woman’s goodies–They’re right there; I can’t help but look. She’s doing it for attention–she wants men to look. If she didn’t want guys to look, she shouldn’t put them out there. They’re so ubiquitous, I hardly notice them anymore, and when I do I generally dismiss them with rolled eyes and an unladylike snort.

There is one excuse that, while common, is sufficiently uncommon to draw my attention: Some girls get their feelings hurt if you don’t look/whistle/comment/shout/grope. Seriously. Seriously? Your personal approval is paramount to them, and you’re doing them a service by sexually harassing them. They pass you by at a bar, ladypillows pushed up to their chin, and when you don’t hazard a pinch they look back at you with a single, crystalline tear rolling down their cheek. Your unsolicited grunt is really your generous way of seeing to their emotional health, you saint, you. (Whether the gentleman offering this service is the same one who wanted custody of our metaphorical dog, I shall not say.)

And so I provided him a list, albeit not a universal or comprehensive one, of things to do when you see a woman dressed all sexy-like.

1. Admire, if it’s your thing. I mean, why not?

2. Don’t stare. It’s rude. And it’s not like the view is going to change from minute to minute–generally, women don’t spontaneously disrobe or hyperinflate their breasts or turn into lizard-people such that you’d miss it if you turned away. The view ten seconds now will be pretty much the same as the view you’re getting now, so it’s safe to look away.

3. Keep your commentary–and your hands–to yourself. Some women truly are into it; many aren’t. Many really aren’t. It’s best to err on the side of not offending anyone.

4. Don’t assume she’s dressing for you. Maybe she’s dressed all sexy-like for the benefit of her boyfriend/girlfriend, and they just happen to be out in public where you can observe it.

5. Don’t assume she’s dressing for you. Maybe she’s dressed all sexy-like for the guy two barstools down from you, who’s taller than you and flashed a Rolex when he reached for his drink. Or maybe it’s for the guy next to you on the other side who’s shorter than you and wearing tight jeans and hipster glasses that you think look stupid. Or maybe it’s for the woman behind the bar. She’s allowed to be picky, and she’s allowed to not pick you. The fact that you’re sitting within sight of her all-sexy-likeness doesn’t mean she’s aiming it at you–just that she’s a shotgun and you’re within the spread.

6. Don’t assume she’s dressing for you–or anyone else, for that matter. Maybe she’s dressed all sexy-like purely for herself, because she likes the way she looks. Maybe looking all sexy-like makes her feel sexy, and that gives her more confidence or a little bit of a personal thrill. And yes, maybe her look is one that is also appealing to the more prurient gaze, but there’s a difference between wanting to look sexy and wanting to actively pursue interaction of a sexual nature. She gets to do either one.

7. Don’t think she owes you anything. Dressing all sexy-like isn’t some contract with the world that a woman will respond positively to all come-ons or welcome all (or any) physical advances. Even if she is dressed all sexy-like expressly so that people will look at her, that doesn’t mean she wants anyone to touch her or even speak to her, and she gets to do that. If you insist on seeing it as a transaction, think of it this way: She gets to dress in a way that makes her feel sexy, and you get to enjoy seeing a woman who’s dressed all sexy-like.

8. Be a nice guy (or girl), not a Nice Guy™. Review #5. Maybe she’s not into short guys, or tall girls, or guys at all, or girls at all, or facial hair, or muscles, or people who open with “Hey, nice tits.” People have their reasons–and you’re eyeing the woman who’s dressed all sexy-like and not the woman in the mom jeans next to her, so it’s not like you’re one to talk. Here’s a clue: If you find yourself saying, “I’m a nice guy, but no one will sleep with me! Women are only into rich/bad/hot guys. Shallow bitches, all of them,” you’re not a nice guy. You’re a Nice Guy™, and that’s why you’re single.

Am I leaving anything out? Moreover, at what point do you know that a male friend is just plain not educable?”

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