Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Now Available: HoodRules thebook

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HoodRules BookAre you looking for a practical book about how to deal with crimes on the street, including street harassment? Then consider purchasing Aqueelah Grant’s new book HoodRules.

From Amazon.com:

“HoodRules thebook, emphasizes that every place is a neighborhood or a “Hood” and crime can happen anywhere so preparation is key. Sometimes shocking and often funny, HoodRules thebook is a quick read, that is designed not to scare you, but to empower you! Crime will always be a problem, but you can decrease your chances of becoming a victim with sufficient awareness. Ms. Grant was not cowed by her experiences-she examined her habits, took self defense classes and came out fighting. She shares her journey with the hopes of helping others to avoid victimization and perhaps create their own set of “Hood Rules”

When I asked Ms. Grant what inspired her to write the book, she said:

“I constantly read articles about crime that hit home:  An assault, a gun point robbery, a car- jacking, a murder, a missing person, a snatched phone. I then read the comments on the articles and they often read: “Oh that’s terrible”, “The world isn’t safe anymore”. When reading these comments as someone who has been victimized, I realize that comments like these aren’t enough and they certainly don’t mean much after the fact.

So two years ago I started writing HoodRules thebook. I wanted to speak to people like a parent, a best friend, and older sister by combining laughter and seriousness. I wanted to give people options on different Street Safety techniques that most people never think of or may have simply forgotten. Also letting people know it is their job to design a personal safety plan because there will be times when the cavalry might not ever come. I’ve had those times where I hoped for a cavalry that never showed up and realized that was because I was meant to be my own Calvary. In the same breathe I also wanted to let the people who have been victims of crime know they are not alone and that some of our most scariest and embarrassing moments are our greatest life lessons.

One quote I created to help myself cope was “If we all had the same story to SHARE there would be no story to TELL”. Which means no one’s journey will be the same because some will be pretty rough. However, when you can tell a story to lift someone else up that’s the moment you realize your journey was worth it.”

Her book is available in print and for digital devices.

Learn more about the topic and the book here: Book Website | Tech Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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Egypt: Year One, HarassMap Report

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I grew up in Cairo learning how to strategize my life to avoid sexual harassment. I would make sure to run my errands during a football match when men and boys in the neighborhood are busy watching, not before or after. I knew which routes to take to school, and that I can only go to cafes to meet my friends, but never to public parks.

I always took sexual harassment as a fact of life that I need to deal with. It never struck me as a plaguing problem until, as a 25-year old professional, I realized that I spend a significant portion of my income on a “precaution budget” against sexual harassment. For example, I had to go out at expensive restaurants but not the more affordable “men-only” cafes or free public parks, and I had to resort to private taxi rides over public buses. I even turned down jobs because they had no accessible parking, which will take me back to the dreadful public bus. And even with all these precautions, I was still harassed in the few minutes that I have to walk every day between my parked car and any building.

I felt very lonely in this shameful experience. But when I talked to one friend after another, I found that it happened to every other woman I know, and that it was not my fault. So I decided that the first step in building up resistance against this shameful behavior, is to create awareness, and tell other women that it is not their fault, and they should not let sexual harassment go unpunished.

Through common friends, I met Rebecca, Engy, and Amel, and we established Harassmap: an open online mapping tool to end the social tolerance of sexual harassment. We help victims, like us, speak out and access support services, and contribute to changing the environment in our streets to no longer tolerate harassers. Our initiative has three prongs: online crowdsourcing of harassment reports, offline street campaigns in target locations, and referral to psychological/legal support services.

Our first year of work was a learning experience for us first and foremost. The reports we received on our portal (540 in the first year) showed that there is no typical harasser or victim. The demographic features of the former ranged across teenagers, university professors, medical doctors –and children in 83 cases; whereas the victims were young and old, women and men, veiled, face-veiled and not.

This insight was a strong foundation for our offline campaigns. It was important to feel confident as we debunked the justifications of harassers to violate women’s safety as such. “Look how she’s dressed”, “It’s her fault for going out so late”, “men are sexually frustrated” are all too common excuses. Conversely, knee-jerk condemnation or patronizing media discourse were evidently ineffective, we had to speak grassroots language and immerse within the grassroots. Now, more than 500 HarassMap volunteers go out once per month to ask shop owners, police, doormen and others with a presence in the street to send the message: harassment will not be tolerated!

In 2012-2013 we are working on strengthening our efforts on the ground. Public order enforcement by community figures (mainly doormen) is very evident in Egypt and it is important to win it on our side. Therefore we aim to strengthen community outreach teams to become more independent as they interact with respective communities. On the other hand, we hope to expand our intervention beyond street harassment, to include workplace, school and university. Finally, we are encouraging the Egyptian police to work together and use our reporting system to target enforcement areas.

Sawsan Gad is a GIS Analyst and the co-founder of HarassMap.

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Street Harassment Fashion Tumblr: Interview with the Creator

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Have you heard about the new Tumblr Street Harassment Fashion that documents clothing people wear when they are harassed to challenge notions of victim-blaming? It’s compelling and growing fast. Creator Ellis Gainsboro agreed to answer a few questions so that Stop Street Harassment readers can learn more about the project.

Stop Street Harassment (SSH):  Hi Ellis, thanks for agreeing to the interview. What is a three sentence biography  for you?

Ellis Gainsboro (EG): I was raised in American suburbia by conservative, working-class, religiously-and-socially-conservative, divorced parents. My life since, has involved a small number of not-so-extreme screw-ups (mostly bad boyfriends and drinking), then afterwards, MUCH reading, educating myself in general, and exploring the world of visual and audio arts. I currently divide my free time amongst painting, recording, spending time with my Significant Other, cooking vegan food, and learning about feminism and social justice issues.

SSH: Was there a particular experience or event that inspired your Tumblr project?

EG: Not really. I have consistently experienced street harassment from the tender age of about 12, but I’ve never had any constructive way to deal with it. Speaking back against it and calling your harasser out on their rudeness is not always the safest action to take, ignoring it feels like you’re letting them win, and basically those are the only two options! It makes me (and many other people, I’m sure) feel so powerless! In addition, when I try to share those experiences with some people, I am often told that I “must have been asking for it,” which is JUST NOT TRUE. NO ONE is asking for it! I don’t care what you’re wearing! I created Street Harassment Fashion so that I could document what happened, what was said, and what I was wearing, as a way to back up my belief that I am not the problem in this situation. The victims of street harassment are extremely varied, and I wanted to have a space on the internet to exhibit that. It’s not our fault and we don’t cause it. The blame falls squarely on the shoulders of those who harass others.

SSH: When you started it, what was your goal/purpose? Has that changed at all based on the response to it?

EG: I wanted to have a place to document the every-day sorts of harassment I get when I am out and about. I wanted to have a link I could share when someone said to me, “Well, you must have been asking for it.” I wanted to document my (and others’) outfits to PROVE that it is NOT what we are wearing that incites this harassment. Already, there is a variety of outfits and looks, different styles, and different fits. Stories with conservative outfits, form-fitting outfits, scarves, bulky jackets, leggings, long hair, short hair, updos, shaved heads. It’s already becoming very clear that the way victims of street harassment dress and style themselves has nothing to do with the reasons that they are harassed.

I don’t think my purpose for this blog has changed since I have started it–I still want to use it as a reference against ignorance and for awareness, but I think that since I have amassed so many followers, with additional new followers every day…It is bittersweet! I am SO grateful for the support and solidarity, but at the same time, it deeply saddens me that so many people can relate.

SSH: What kind of response has the Tumblr had and how do you feel about that?

EG: So far the response has been very supportive, and a bit overwhelming! I didn’t know I would get so many followers so quickly (1,000+ in the first week!) I wasn’t really looking/hoping to find a following of any sort really, but just knowing that other people can relate in some way? That means so, so much to me! But again, it is a double-edged sword, because if people can relate to this blog, it means that they have had some experience with street harassment in their lives (either personally, or second-hand at least). This is a much bigger problem than I can tolerate on my own, and something needs to be done about it.

SSH: Is there one particular story/photo that stands out to you and why?

EG: Since Street Harassment Fashion is young, all of the posts so far carry equal weight in my mind. The posts about my own experiences are important because they happened to ME: I was there, it was a direct part of my personal life, and I will never forget how I was made to feel emotionally as a result of those interactions. The posts submitted by others are just as important though, as they demonstrate very clearly that the street harassment I receive is not isolated to my own experience. It solidifies the fact that this happens to so many people, under so many different circumstances, and that it is not the fault of the victims. I am so grateful that others have been brave enough to submit their stories and pictures. I think it is so important to have a variety of posts from a variety of people about street harassment.

SSH: Is there anything else you want to add?

EG: Yes! I want to reiterate again that the victims of street harassment are NOT TO BLAME. If any of your readers have been the victims of street harassment, and would like to share their stories with me and my followers, or if they just need an ear to talk to and someone to empathize with them, they can send me an email at streetharassmentfasion@gmail.com.

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“I Was Chased Down By A Car While Running”

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Editor’s Note: This story is cross-posted  from Mile Posts with permission from the author, Dorothy Beal.

Yesterday was the first official day of summer break for Chloe – it also meant that it was Day 1 of triple stroller summer training.

I set off with a heaviness in my legs but tried to have happiness in my heart.

I get to run – I don’t have to – I repeated to myself.

To say I was happy that it was the start of triple stroller running is a lie. It is hard to push three kids in a stroller. Harder than any marathon I’ve ever run. I talk about stroller running all the time to try and lift myself up. To try to beat out the demons in my head that tell me to just give up and not train this summer. The voices that tell me it’s okay to gain weight, it’s okay not to run, who cares about being healthy – drinking all the time, eating like crap and not working out is so much easier. The truth is that IT IS EASIER to lead a sluggish life. To replace work outs with dinners out. To replace coconut water and protein shakes with margaritas and pina coladas. The old me isn’t gone. She is as much a part of me as any other part.

It is a daily battle to stay fit to not over eat. It is a weekly battle to remember that I love running and that even though it’s REALLY REALLY hard to make time to run with three little people that in the end it’s worth it.

Mile 1 I saw a woman up ahead – she was far off. I wanted to pass her. I wanted to take some of her energy and use it for myself. I caught up to her in the last minute of the first mile. As I ran past I said good morning – she said morning and then paused. “Looks like I need to pick up the pace if you are passing me pushing three kids” – I smiled – giggled – said thank you and then told her I was dying if it made her feel any better?

Mile 2 was slower. I reminded myself that an 8:20 start is not nearly early enough to start running in the summer with little people. Too sunny. Too hot.

Mile 3 I found my groove. I was tired but I was happy. I felt like I was having a turning point. I was going to listen to the advice I pass out to others. I was not going to make excuses in my head as to why it’s going to be impossible to train for 2 marathons this summer with little help and mostly triple stroller runs. I felt STRONG and my mind believed I was STRONG.

As I approached the end of the third mile I saw a car off in the distance. It was on the other side of the road coming toward me. The man inside was waving his arms, yelling, pointing, cursing – his window was down. I felt confussed. Was he getting upset at me or the girl who helplessly sat in the front seat not making eye contact with me.

When he pulled beside me [still on the other side of the road] I realize he was indeed yelling obscenities at me. I don’t remember all of his words – but none of them were nice. I started to get that fight or flight feeling inside of me – my heart was racing – I kept on running and finally when he yelled out that I was an “f-ing b*itch” – I lost it and flicked him off. In hindsight – you should never ever engage people who are clearly off their rocker. It was a knee jerk reaction – one I wish I hadn’t made. What I heard next were tires screeching as he whipped his car around.

The first thought that came to my head was that he was going to run me and my kids over. I started running scenarios through my head as fast as possible – do I dive in front of the car. If he hit my body would he just leave the kids in the stroller. Where do I run too? What do I do? I panicked. When I panic my mind does not work.

I started talking to my kids. Telling them to be calm and we would get away from this mean man. I told them they needed to listen to whatever mommy says and do it immediately. I ran as fast as I could up the hill towards my house. I was out of breath and my legs were burning bad.

I looked back over my shoulder and saw that he was still following me but was a little distance away so I made the choice to cross the street and head for a nature trail in the woods that I knew was close. I didn’t want to run back to my house and I couldn’t grab my cell phone and call 911 with out stopping and I needed to keep moving away from him.

As we got close to the woods I told my kids to unbuckle and the second I stopped to get out and run for the woods. In hindsight I realize that running somewhere more secluded was probably not the best idea but at the time it was the best move I could think of to get away from this man. As I stopped and my kids got out. The man in the car was right next to me again – yelling and screaming.

I grabbed my phone. Shaking – I texted my husband the license plate # with nothing else. I needed someone to get those numbers in case something terrible happened to us.

After that I called 911. He stayed there yelling and screaming as I ran into the woods and yelled that I was calling the cops. He drove off FAST once I said that.

The cops immediately knew my location based on my cell phone. They told me to keep walking to go to a certain house on the corner of the closest street and hide. They would stay on the phone with me till an officer came. Then they said something I will never forget. Are you wearing a pink shirt? YES. They could see me. I have NEVER been so grateful for technology in my entire life.

An officer was there with in minutes. He listened as I blubbered on about how scared I was. My kids oddly enough were fine. Maybe my crying made them feel they had to be strong. I literally for a moment in my life thought all four of us were going to get run over. It’s not a fun feeling.

The cop followed me home as I pushed the stroller. When I got to my house he again talked to me more – wrote down more information and told me they had a hit on the license plate number and that the man lived in my town. He was going to his house to talk to him.

20 minutes later the cop called and said that the man said he was VERY concerned for my kids safety – that something was wrong with me for pushing them in a stroller like that. He said he followed me to ensure the safety of my children.

I was MAD. So you yell at a woman, chase her down with your car, follow her, scare the cr*p out of her, and verbally assault her because you are concerned for her children? The cop agreed that it was a lie and he was just trying to cover himself.

The girl in the car never once flinched – she never once made eye contact – never once said anything to this man.

The cops said I could press charges against him but because I had already admitted that I flicked him off then he could twist it in court that he was going about his business when I decided to flick him off and get aggressive with him.

I don’t care to press charges but I do think this man is off his rocker and it’s not long before he does something like this again to another woman. The police assured me that they keep records of this in a database and should anyone call about this man again it will show up that he has a history of doing stuff like this.

What I learned from this situation:

  • Never engage people who are crazy. I shouldn’t have flicked him off. It made a bad situation worse. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE.
  • Do not run to a remote area if you are being chased.
  • Always carry a cell phone if I am running with my kids. It’s probably a good idea to carry my cell phone with me on long runs as well.
  • Wear my RoadID. You just never know. It’s not helping me if I am not wearing it.
  • Never wear headphones while running with my kids. I don’t do this anyways but it reminded me that when I am running with my little people I need to be aware of my surroundings at all time to be safe.
  • Hold up your cell phone as if you are making a video [if you have a camera on your phone start snapping away]. People will likely change what they are doing when they think it’s on camera. [My husbands co-worker suggested this one]

This morning I picked myself up. I won’t let one crazy person scare me. Little people and I ran 4 miles. [We took a different route just in case.]

What do you do to stay safe when running? Have any helpful tips?

NOTE: I ask these questions not as the obligatory end of blog posting question – but because I really truly would love to hear what you think and learn some new ways that you have found to keep you [and your kids] safe.

 

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