This is part of the Monday series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

I guess this may count as street harassment, but compared to the harassment I receive almost every time I go out on the town, this was quite pleasant!

I was walking to the mall with my boyfriend. A young man and two girls were waiting at the cross walk. I walked by and decided he looked safe to smile at… Then he opened his mouth to talk. “Oh God, no. Not now! Can’t he see I’m with someone?! What am I going to do?” I thought, as my smile immediately disappeared.

“Hey, you have a really pretty face!”

My smile immediately reappeared, as I said, “Thank you.”

Then looking back to my boyfriend, who was NOT happy someone else was talking to his girlfriend, my smile went away. The guy must have seen it, too, because immediately afterward he said, “I’m not hitting on your girl or anything, man- I’ve got my girl right here!” he said gesturing to the girl beside him, “I just think she has a pretty face.”

NOTE: In a perfect non-sexist world, women would not be seen as sexual objects or valued based on their beauty alone. However, if you do feel the need to compliment a pretty girl, keep it tasteful! And please, whatever you do, do NOT make public spaces a place to hook up with someone!

A woman walking to work or to go see her boyfriend doesn’t want to be asked or pressured into going on a date with you, coming back to your place or giving out PRIVATE INFORMATION like her phone number! We are not being “snooty” or “bitches” if we ignore you. We probably honestly have no desire to have relations with you, or most of the time anyone!

Don’t assume a woman is single, looking for sex and willing to “just give you a chance.” If you want to find a date, there’s dating sites, classified ads, singles night at clubs, bars, etc. A public place is NOT the place to scout out your next date or sexual adventure!

– Stephanie

Location: Lloyd Center in Portland, Oregon

This is part of the Monday series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

I’m 31 and have experienced awful street harassment in the past. I was at the checkout stand late one recent evening at a supermarket, the kind of store where you pack your own groceries. As I was paying the cashier, I turned and saw two young men quietly packing my groceries. No creepy looks, no winks, no leering — just a kind deed. I thanked them with a smile, and they told me, “You’re welcome.” And that was it.

I smiled as I left, because it reminded me that there are decent, respectful people in the world.

– SB

Location: Visalia, CA

This is part of the Monday series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

There are four construction sites within a two block radius of my house. As you know, that leaves plenty of opportunity for being harassed. I must say, though, that these particular crews of men don’t resort to the usual staring, whistling and commenting that women within their sights tend to experience, despite the fact that three of these sites are right by the local gym and scores of women in shorts and form fitting workout gear pass them by daily.

Kudos and much respect to these men for acting like mature, polite, well raised men. As the women walk by, there may be an occasional glance or two, but no more…. there’s no extended leer or stare. They keep their attention more focused on the job at hand. No whistles, no lewd comments…if there’s anything, it’s just a quick smile. Bravo!

Other construction crews could learn from these guys!! They should give a class on how to behave when you’re in someone else’s neighborhood working, seriously! Anyhow, I just wanted to shed light on these four crews working in my hood being respectful of all who pass and not creating an uncomfortable climate, unlike others have in the past. It’s refreshing and much appreciated! 😉

– Yvonne

Location: 30th Ave and 38th St. in Astoria, Queens, New York

One morning last week I took my dogs on a walk before work. We passed a garbage truck at a stop sign and two men stood on the back of the truck. I automatically tensed up, fearing leers or comments, but instead, they said a polite, non-creepy good morning and that I had cute dogs. I smiled and said good morning and thanks. Then we all carried on with our morning.

This is one of my recent stories of “street respect. “Street respect”* is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.”

Staring today, each Monday I will post a “Street Respect” story on the blog to highlight what we want people TO do (as opposed to most posts where we highlight stories of harassment and what people should NOT do). You can submit your story using the form below.

Sadly, street harassment can make us doubt or question sincerely polite and respectful interactions or make us tense up when there is no reason to, as I did. But for me, one of the reasons why we’re working to end street harassment is so that we can enjoy the street respect and not have to worry if it will turn into street harassment. Humans are social and it’s good to want to interact with each other, it’s healthy and makes us happy as long as it’s respectful and consensual!

So I hope the series can reminds us all that there are plenty of good people in the world and give us renewed hope that one day our efforts will mean our days will be filled with street respect, not street harassment.

Share your story below and spread the word that a weekly dose of street respect will be available here each Monday!

[* Term coined by Stop Street Harassment founder Holly Kearl, Sept. 2011]