Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“You look as hot as I feel”

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I am 14 years old, and a middle aged man — most likely 50+ years of age — mowing the lawn said, “You look as hot as I feel.”

I was walking alone for 100 yards, it was about a 45 second walk. I don’t live in a city, and have never heard of this happening to anyone in my town. This happened today, and I am left feeling lost and confused about what to do, and since I was wearing an old t-shirt, I feel afraid to wear anything flattering. I feel ashamed and terrified about the fact it could’ve easily been worse.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Schools should take action and inform boys and girls in middle school about what sexual harassment is, how to combat catcalling, how to be an upstander if they see someone being catcalled, and how and when to respectfully and appropriately compliment someone.

– Anonymous

Location: Downtown Hershey, PA

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

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Plane Assaulters & Perv Busters

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First, I cannot even believe that a SECOND man was arrested this month for groping a teenage girl seated next to him on an airplane.

An Alaska Airlines flight from Portland to Anchorage was recently diverted to the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport mid-flight. A 23-year-old man allegedly repeatedly groped a 16-year-old girl seated next to him. Another man in their row intervened and alerted the flight attendant who then notified the pilot. The pilot diverted the plane and the assailant was arrested in Seattle.

In a similar incident this month, a man groped a 13-year-old girl seated beside him on an American Airlines flight. The flight attendant saw it and moved her and he was arrested at the airport.

What is wrong with these men?? I’m angered by their predatory behavior and blatant disregard for the feelings and bodily autonomy of the girls. And I’m grateful for the bystanders on the planes who took action to stop the abuse.

But in better news, I am loving the new “Perv Busters” effort that launched last week in New York City. We need a similar effort in every community!

Perv Busters - photo by Matthew McDerrmott, via NY Post
Perv Busters – photo by Matthew McDerrmott, via NY Post

Via the New York Post:

“Guardian Angels founder Curtis Sliwa…was training an all- ­female group called the Perv Busters. Their mission: Finding and shaming subway perverts.

“You know the signs that say, ‘See something, say something’? Well, we’re doing something,” said Sliwa, 62, who founded the Guardian Angels in 1979.

After the MTA backed out of a plan to deploy eight MTA cops to battle a recent surge in subway sex crimes, Sliwa decided to take matters into his own hands.

“I’ve got eight girls doing what the transit cops apparently can’t do,” he said.

His crew gathered at Columbus Circle at 8 p.m. Friday for their first night of prowling for “weenie ­wavers.” …

“We all know what it’s like to be harassed and followed. But you don’t have the right to complain if you don’t do anything about it,”
she said.

The team’s youngest member, 13-year-old Veronica Pagan, is a third-generation Guardian Angelette. She sported her grandmother’s beret.

“I joined because I wanted to make them proud, but I also did it for myself. I want to show guys that we are not weak, we can step up just the same,” Pagan said.

After a demonstration on how to handcuff, the girls lined up in formation on the subway platform.

Silwa ordered everyone to board, break off into pairs and stand in the doorways on lookout.

“The first thing we have to work on is the look. If you’re standing there all smiley, people won’t take you seriously,” Sliwa said.

Sliwa then instructed the Angels to hand out the official Perv ­Busters flier.

Rider Daniel Martinez, 33, was excited that the Angels were back, and asked Sliwa how to join.

“I just think it’s beautiful. It’s about time that we see women step up and be warriors. We need more Joan of Arcs in our city,” Pagan said.

 

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“I’m 16. I shouldn’t be afraid to walk down the street, but I am.”

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I’m 16. I should be living my life to the fullest, enjoying my teenage years, going out and not having a single worry. Instead, I’m afraid to walk home from school without having a guy friend with me. I have nightmares and I fear every male over 14 that I don’t know personally. I download apps in order to keep myself safe and practise how fast I can dial 112 at home. I sometimes carry a pocket knife with me. And the worst part is, that’s not just me – that’s the majority of females. Because nearly every one of us has been street harassed at some point of their lives and once it happens, it’s hard to forget. You fear it will happen again and so you do everything you can to avoid it from happening – you take different roads, different people with you, but it often doesn’t help. At least with me it doesn’t.

I’m 16 and only in the past week, I’ve been street harassed twice. By the same person. I haven’t even seen his face because I am too afraid to turn around when he calls after me – I only know his voice and it gives me chills. After the first time, I changed routes but I still met him. Both times he wasn’t alone – when he talks he uses “we”. And if it isn’t him, it’s someone else. Street harassment happens to me all the time – people yelling at me about my lipstick, my skirts, my hair – people I don’t even know judging my looks and my behaviour and calling me with words I do not wish to share.

I’m 16. My skirt is not short because I’m trying to seduce you – my skirt is short because it is very hot outside.

I’m 16. I’m not swaying my hips at you – that’s just the way I walk.

I’m 16. I shouldn’t be afraid to walk down the street, but I am. And the saddest part is, I have a reason to be.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

We can make public places safer by educating males and teaching them how to treat females. We should raise awarness about street harassment and tell people to help when they see it happening.

– Anonymous

Location: Europe

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas.

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Calvin Klein and the glamourisation of sexual harassment

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Cross-posted with permission from SallyOReilly.com.

OffensiveCalvinKleinAd-May2016
“Upskirt” shot Calvin Klein ad

You’ve probably already heard about the new Calvin Klein advertising campaign. It’s worked, that’s for sure, in that Twitter and Facebook can’t get enough of complaining about it. And of course the pro-sexism and creepy factions can’t get enough of defending it and lashing out at people who recognise it for what it is – blatant sexist glamourisation of and dismissal of sexual harassment.

It’s so depressingly predictable. I almost didn’t write about it because I don’t want to give the advertisers my attention when I have better things to do right now – like eat lunch for example.

However, I’m incensed. I’ll be brief (that’s not a pun).

This new campaign features butt selfies, dodgy slogans, curiously vagina-like grapefruit and ‘upskirt’ shots of a girl who is not only not annoyed but is kind of, pleased looking. Because it’s flattering to have an upskirt shot taken right? At least that’s what they want us to think. They want us to think that women should be pleased to be objectified, and that being available in this way is what female sexuality is about. That this is erotica (yes ..they’ve actually officially called it “Erotica”). After all, women are the target market – right? (!!??)

“Eat_in #MyCalvins”

#RollsEyes

This shot, despite vast amounts of complaints (which I’m THRILLED about) is still live on their Instagram account as I type.

It is appalling, and utterly lacking in awareness and basic empathy, that womens’ experiences of sexual assaults and sexualisation are being normalised and packaged as ‘Erotica’ in this way.

Erotic for whom exactly? Well, I think we can answer that..

But that’s Calvin Klein for you. I don’t know if you’re aware of this but if you have a teenage daughter who has recently insisted that you buy her CK underwear there is a very real chance that on her Instagram there is now a shot of her in said underwear, possibly with some sideboob showing and a host of ‘likes’ from strangers, hashtagged #MyCalvins or #meandmycalvins.

This is grooming.

At ‘best’, teenaged girls are being trained to view themselves as sexual objects without desires of their own. At worst the brand is encouraging underaged girls to pose in ways that will attract sexual predators and who will grow up to believe that their function is to look and be sexually available and to be OK with , indeed to like with being viewed as such. How is that erotic for them?

And now, these predators can feel more OK about it, after all the ads have gone viral and teens themselves are hashtagging away, blissfully unaware of the sinister side of their online activities.

I’m concerned, very concerned.

Please engage your teenagers in a conversation about this when you get a chance and consider signing any online petitions you can find. While there is the irritating reality that we are giving CK more publicity here, there is a more positive reality too – people are beginning to see how very real the threat of advertising is to the self esteem and sexuality of our women and girls. And people power is a real thing.

Meanwhile – #NotBuyingIt.

Sally O’Reilly is a psychologist, psychotherapist & clinical supervisor based in East Cork, Ireland. She holds the European Certificate of Psychotherapy from the EAP and is a graduate member of the Psychological Society of Ireland. Visit her websites and follow her on Twitter, @psychosal.

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“Come here gorgeous”

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I was walking home from a friends house when I was about 13 and I was in my school uniform; shirt, trousers and blazer, when two middle-aged white men came up behind me and started talking about my arse. They started getting closer to me until they were right behind me and they were trying to touch me. Needless to say, at 13 I was terrified, having never dealt with this before, and not in an area where I was familiar, and so I started walking faster, turning every time I could, but they continued to follow me.

I then ran down the street and ended up knocking into a lady walking home with her shopping bags and asked her for directions back to my school so that I would know where I was going to get home. This made the men behind me drop back and eventually I got away from them.

I then arrived on the road opposite my school and as I was walking down (it was a dual carriage way) a man in a van started yelling at me from his window and leaning half of his body out of it, trying to grab at me saying, “Come here gorgeous”.

That was the first time I was ever harassed on the street, but from the age of 11, men I didn’t know catcalled me.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

It depends on how you feel at the time. At first I was too scared to do anything and so I ran away, but when it was boys from my school doing it, I reported it to my head of year. The next time it happened on the street I kicked the man and ran away because he had his head in my boobs. After a while you get used to having to deal with it, but the best you can do is to report it to someone who can actually do something about it.

– SKA

Location: London, UK

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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