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“I Was Chased Down By A Car While Running”

November 13, 2012 By Contributor

Editor’s Note: This story is cross-posted  from Mile Posts with permission from the author, Dorothy Beal.

Yesterday was the first official day of summer break for Chloe – it also meant that it was Day 1 of triple stroller summer training.

I set off with a heaviness in my legs but tried to have happiness in my heart.

I get to run – I don’t have to – I repeated to myself.

To say I was happy that it was the start of triple stroller running is a lie. It is hard to push three kids in a stroller. Harder than any marathon I’ve ever run. I talk about stroller running all the time to try and lift myself up. To try to beat out the demons in my head that tell me to just give up and not train this summer. The voices that tell me it’s okay to gain weight, it’s okay not to run, who cares about being healthy – drinking all the time, eating like crap and not working out is so much easier. The truth is that IT IS EASIER to lead a sluggish life. To replace work outs with dinners out. To replace coconut water and protein shakes with margaritas and pina coladas. The old me isn’t gone. She is as much a part of me as any other part.

It is a daily battle to stay fit to not over eat. It is a weekly battle to remember that I love running and that even though it’s REALLY REALLY hard to make time to run with three little people that in the end it’s worth it.

Mile 1 I saw a woman up ahead – she was far off. I wanted to pass her. I wanted to take some of her energy and use it for myself. I caught up to her in the last minute of the first mile. As I ran past I said good morning – she said morning and then paused. “Looks like I need to pick up the pace if you are passing me pushing three kids” – I smiled – giggled – said thank you and then told her I was dying if it made her feel any better?

Mile 2 was slower. I reminded myself that an 8:20 start is not nearly early enough to start running in the summer with little people. Too sunny. Too hot.

Mile 3 I found my groove. I was tired but I was happy. I felt like I was having a turning point. I was going to listen to the advice I pass out to others. I was not going to make excuses in my head as to why it’s going to be impossible to train for 2 marathons this summer with little help and mostly triple stroller runs. I felt STRONG and my mind believed I was STRONG.

As I approached the end of the third mile I saw a car off in the distance. It was on the other side of the road coming toward me. The man inside was waving his arms, yelling, pointing, cursing – his window was down. I felt confussed. Was he getting upset at me or the girl who helplessly sat in the front seat not making eye contact with me.

When he pulled beside me [still on the other side of the road] I realize he was indeed yelling obscenities at me. I don’t remember all of his words – but none of them were nice. I started to get that fight or flight feeling inside of me – my heart was racing – I kept on running and finally when he yelled out that I was an “f-ing b*itch” – I lost it and flicked him off. In hindsight – you should never ever engage people who are clearly off their rocker. It was a knee jerk reaction – one I wish I hadn’t made. What I heard next were tires screeching as he whipped his car around.

The first thought that came to my head was that he was going to run me and my kids over. I started running scenarios through my head as fast as possible – do I dive in front of the car. If he hit my body would he just leave the kids in the stroller. Where do I run too? What do I do? I panicked. When I panic my mind does not work.

I started talking to my kids. Telling them to be calm and we would get away from this mean man. I told them they needed to listen to whatever mommy says and do it immediately. I ran as fast as I could up the hill towards my house. I was out of breath and my legs were burning bad.

I looked back over my shoulder and saw that he was still following me but was a little distance away so I made the choice to cross the street and head for a nature trail in the woods that I knew was close. I didn’t want to run back to my house and I couldn’t grab my cell phone and call 911 with out stopping and I needed to keep moving away from him.

As we got close to the woods I told my kids to unbuckle and the second I stopped to get out and run for the woods. In hindsight I realize that running somewhere more secluded was probably not the best idea but at the time it was the best move I could think of to get away from this man. As I stopped and my kids got out. The man in the car was right next to me again – yelling and screaming.

I grabbed my phone. Shaking – I texted my husband the license plate # with nothing else. I needed someone to get those numbers in case something terrible happened to us.

After that I called 911. He stayed there yelling and screaming as I ran into the woods and yelled that I was calling the cops. He drove off FAST once I said that.

The cops immediately knew my location based on my cell phone. They told me to keep walking to go to a certain house on the corner of the closest street and hide. They would stay on the phone with me till an officer came. Then they said something I will never forget. Are you wearing a pink shirt? YES. They could see me. I have NEVER been so grateful for technology in my entire life.

An officer was there with in minutes. He listened as I blubbered on about how scared I was. My kids oddly enough were fine. Maybe my crying made them feel they had to be strong. I literally for a moment in my life thought all four of us were going to get run over. It’s not a fun feeling.

The cop followed me home as I pushed the stroller. When I got to my house he again talked to me more – wrote down more information and told me they had a hit on the license plate number and that the man lived in my town. He was going to his house to talk to him.

20 minutes later the cop called and said that the man said he was VERY concerned for my kids safety – that something was wrong with me for pushing them in a stroller like that. He said he followed me to ensure the safety of my children.

I was MAD. So you yell at a woman, chase her down with your car, follow her, scare the cr*p out of her, and verbally assault her because you are concerned for her children? The cop agreed that it was a lie and he was just trying to cover himself.

The girl in the car never once flinched – she never once made eye contact – never once said anything to this man.

The cops said I could press charges against him but because I had already admitted that I flicked him off then he could twist it in court that he was going about his business when I decided to flick him off and get aggressive with him.

I don’t care to press charges but I do think this man is off his rocker and it’s not long before he does something like this again to another woman. The police assured me that they keep records of this in a database and should anyone call about this man again it will show up that he has a history of doing stuff like this.

What I learned from this situation:

  • Never engage people who are crazy. I shouldn’t have flicked him off. It made a bad situation worse. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE.
  • Do not run to a remote area if you are being chased.
  • Always carry a cell phone if I am running with my kids. It’s probably a good idea to carry my cell phone with me on long runs as well.
  • Wear my RoadID. You just never know. It’s not helping me if I am not wearing it.
  • Never wear headphones while running with my kids. I don’t do this anyways but it reminded me that when I am running with my little people I need to be aware of my surroundings at all time to be safe.
  • Hold up your cell phone as if you are making a video [if you have a camera on your phone start snapping away]. People will likely change what they are doing when they think it’s on camera. [My husbands co-worker suggested this one]

This morning I picked myself up. I won’t let one crazy person scare me. Little people and I ran 4 miles. [We took a different route just in case.]

What do you do to stay safe when running? Have any helpful tips?

NOTE: I ask these questions not as the obligatory end of blog posting question – but because I really truly would love to hear what you think and learn some new ways that you have found to keep you [and your kids] safe.

 

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Filed Under: street harassment Tagged With: runner inspiration, street harassment, threats, women runners

“No woman should be blamed for encouraging men to act in this way”

March 27, 2011 By Contributor

I am a 22 year old British woman and I have never really had many bad experiences in the UK – maybe the odd wolf whistle or comment but I have rarely felt intimidated.

When I moved to the south of France last year, I experienced street harassment on a regular basis. A car drove along, stopped and reversed, which was very intimidating. My friend (also British) and I were walking along the street and some men heard us speaking English and started to harass us. Then they grabbed us and as we walked faster and ignored them, they threw a glass bottle at us. We had glass thrown at us in the middle of the day once before. Luckily, it did not land too near us.

Men have gotten in my face and shouted at me. It would be expected to be groped in a night club.

Never before have I ever felt so intimidated.

When I asked people why men felt it appropriate to do this, I would hear the response that it’s cultural. We, the Brits, encourage it somehow by wearing provocative clothing. I did not wear provocative clothing for this very reason, yet it still happened and besides, that way of thinking is frankly absurd in today’s society.

Women everywhere should feel safe to walk down the street without that feeling of intimidation and the fear as you get hotter and your heart beats faster. No woman should be blamed for encouraging men to act in this way.

– Anonymous

Location: Aix/Marseille, France

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: france, groping, sexual harassment, street harassment, threats

“I was honestly so scared that I went into a safe place and shut off”

March 16, 2011 By Contributor

Last night I was going out to a club on the west side and had one of the worst harassment experiences I have ever had. I waiting for the E and I saw this guy staring at me so I moved down and thought I shook him off.

The uptown train pulled in and I was like sweet! No one on the train… I get on and he came in right after I did. He sat across from me and was looking at me all weird. He was holding his phone like he could be filming me but I was like whatever.

So the doors close and her starts rubbing his crotch and is still pointing his phone right at me. I have read posts on this site before and am so proud of the women that say something. I was petrified… I couldn’t even say anything.

Then I hear “because of traffic there are delays…etc” the train was stopped and then this guy actually pulled out his penis and jerks off. He was calling me a little slut and saying how I wanted to get laid tonight. It felt like an hour and the train started again and he kept doing it and pointing his phone right at me. I got up and stood by the door and he kept saying stuff to me. I wish I would have said something to him but I was honestly so scared that I went into a safe place and shut off.

I am so proud of the women that say something. I REALLY wish I did. On the upside… I had a great Saturday night out and don’t give a shit about that asshole

– Tanya

Location: E Train, New York City, NY

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: E train, public masturbation, sexual harassment, street harassment, threats

Harassment starts so young

September 16, 2008 By Contributor

I grew up in Manhattan. One day in 6th or 7th grade, my friends and I got out of school kind of late because of an after-school program. When we left the building there was this homeless guy sitting outside and we didn’t pay him any attention, but were standing around trying to figure out what to do now that we were out for the day. He started mumbling something at us and we started feeling uncomfortable so we started to walk up the street and away from him. Finally, I guess he got mad that we ignored him and he says “Hey! Girl with the yellow back pack!” (I had a bright yellow Jansport,) “I wanna stick my d*ck up your a*s!”

I’ve never been so humiliated and horrified in my life! We all took off running up the street and I just remember looking back at some point and seeing him walking after us. We ducked into a convenience store and luckily it was crowded because he actually followed us in there! I saw him looking over people’s heads to see if he could find us but we stayed low and eventually he went away. Usually I took the train the opposite direction of all my friends to go home, but I was so scared I went home with one of them so I didn’t have to be alone. I was so scared he was going to find me.

My mom was really upset that I had went to my friend’s house without telling her. I remember being so angry that she didn’t understand how scared I was to take the train alone that day after what had happened…

-Ashley JC

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: fear, New York City, rape, Stories, street harassment, threats

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