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Jordan: Taking up Space in the City

May 18, 2016 By Correspondent

Minying Huang, Amman, Jordan, SSH Blog Correspondent

Photo of AmmanFor women in Amman, street harassment is a daily reality and, due to its prevalence, one to which many have grown de-sensitized. Though I still feel anger that it occurs, it’s frightening how easily I can brush off verbal and physical harassment and how little emotional impact it has on me now. Equally, I realize that life would be exhausting if I were to let every catcall, every grope, and every micro-aggression get to me.

My internal reactions to incidents of harassment were very different when I first moved here from the UK at the start of October of last year: after being felt up twice in one night in the streets of downtown Amman, I remember feeling acutely uncomfortable, ashamed, and angry at myself for having remained silent as wandering hands touched me, shielded from public view by shopping bags. Despite knowing that victims of harassment shouldn’t have to feel shame or guilt for what is done to them, I couldn’t shake my unwarranted feelings of dirtiness and humiliation – showing that, on some level, I, along with many others, have internalized the damaging, socially-entrenched myths surrounding sexual harassment.

As a foreigner living here, and especially as a young woman of East Asian descent, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you are targeted for your racial difference and on account of common misconceptions regarding non-Arab women. Whilst this is certainly a factor that comes into play (and one that I hope to explore in future posts), it’s also clear that sexual harassment in Jordan is by no means solely limited to foreign women and it happens regardless of what you wear.

In 2012, a group of students at the University of Jordan created a short film titled ‘This is my privacy’ in an attempt to combat on-campus sexual harassment and draw attention to the issue. The original video was taken down but you can watch a re-uploaded version. It speaks volumes that Professor Rola Qawas, who supervised the making of the film, was dismissed from her post as Dean of the Faculty of Modern Languages after senior management deemed it a distorted representation of university life and an attack on the overall reputation of the university.

I’d like to emphasize that sexual harassment is a global phenomenon not exclusive to Jordan and the Middle East. I have encountered sexual harassment in the UK where I grew up; however, without wishing to generalize, I don’t think that it would be too far-fetched to suggest that cultural ideas of space and notions of “honor” perpetuate and intensify the problem here, reinforcing the adaptive behaviors women engage in to avoid putting themselves in vulnerable situations. As a result, men are able to continue exerting control over public spaces, and progress toward redefining these established boundaries is slow.

More often than not, sexual harassment is about power. In Jordan, where high youth unemployment is a major socio-economic concern, young people are becoming increasingly disillusioned with politics and worried about their future prospects. Restless, sometimes without the means to achieve independence and further their aspirations, the shabab – literal translation: ‘the youth’; commonly used to refer to young men in the streets – may be inclined to resort to expressions of dominance in communal areas in order to offset the sense of powerlessness found in other aspects of their life.

The question is: how do we bring this conversation into the public sphere without compromising the safety of those wishing to effect change? How do we promote the idea that public spaces are not male spaces but shared spaces accessible to people of all genders? The social and legal framework here in Jordan fails to protect women from harassment. Instead, society attaches stigma and shame to the victims. The law does not explicitly condemn the act, with lawmakers neglecting to clearly define the crime. The law states that offenders can be punished for committing violations against “modesty” and “humanity”, but the use of such nebulous and subjective terminology makes it difficult for victims of harassment to actually achieve justice.

The repercussions of speaking out impose a culture of silence on Jordanian society. Few people openly discuss the realities of sexual harassment, and those that do are subject to public criticism. Yet, in private spaces, the consensus is that something needs to be done to tackle the underlying causes of this recent phenomenon in response to a rapidly increasing number of Jordanian women setting foot outside the confines of the home and entering the public space. When a woman dares to occupy the public space and asserts her right to an equal share in it, the ownership of her body should not then be up in the air and up for grabs.

Minying is a 19-year-old British-born Chinese student from Cambridge, England. She is studying for a BA in Spanish and Arabic at Oxford University and is currently on her Year Abroad in Amman, Jordan. You can follow her on Twitter @minyingh.

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Filed Under: correspondents, race, Stories Tagged With: jordan, traveling

Healing after Assault Abroad

April 14, 2016 By Contributor

This article is cross-posted from Wanderful with permission from the author for International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

Trigger Warning: Assault

As non-male travelers, we live uniquely gendered experiences. No matter where we are, women’s safety is an ever-relevant topic. Thanks to technology, we are more connected to information about traveling to different parts of the world.

From deciding to go to Israel to attending protests abroad, safety matters to all of us. But how do we prevent or avoid smaller, more targeted crimes, like assault or petty thefts?

I had never been assaulted until I came to Nicaragua, the safest country in Central America.

I have traveled to several different countries and put myself in much riskier situations, so I did not expect to be assaulted at knife point in the morning as I ran up the huge hill.

I was wearing headphones, as I do on my typical morning runs, but I had no electronics with me. I wear headphones to avoid catcalls, so men will think I can’t hear their sexual and lewd comments.

trail-660x440Image by Unsplash user Paul Jarvis.

My attacker pulled out a knife and felt through my pockets. He knocked me to the ground and kept searching them, hoping to walk away with an iPhone. Ten seconds later he realized I had nothing of material value on me. He walked away with nothing, and I was physically fine, but I had the emotional consequences to deal with.

As soon as I came home, I felt extremely unsafe. Instead of my post-run feeling of accomplishment, I was petrified. I didn’t know what to expect after an event like I had just experienced.

Still, I vowed not to let this experience stop me from living and exploring this beautiful country. Just as I didn’t expect to be assaulted in a country where I feel relatively safe, I didn’t expect to recover immediately.

I did realize the importance of taking steps to heal, so I learned what to do after an experience like mine.

Here are the steps I took to help me recover from the assault:

1. Report the crime.

After being assaulted, I immediately called my Peace Corps Security manager and reported the crime. The hardest part of it all was admitting what had happened. I have never said the words,

I was assaulted at knife point.

I described the attacker as much as I could, and after reporting the assault, it was easier to process what happened.

If you find yourself the victim of an assault, reporting the attack to the police is also a good option. Even if the assailant is never caught, reporting helps others become aware of safety issues.

2. Write about it.

As soon as I reported the crime, I wrote down exactly what happened, to further acknowledge it. Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. After a few days, I wrote a powerful letter to my attacker in order to quell the thoughts of what I should have or could have done.

I don’t really believe in the concept of full closure, but psychologically engaging my attacker in a final dialogue and forcing him to listen to me made me feel as if I was able to process everything that happened to me and to gain some form of closure.

3. Don’t do it alone.

As an introvert, I usually thrive on alone time, but not after an assault.

I immediately called my friends, who came right away to keep me company. I told them that I felt like I’d gone through a break-up, and they reassured me that I was feeling as if I’d broken up with my feeling of safety. They had undergone worse attacks than I had in their lives, and we talked about things that we wouldn’t have normally broached in conversation. I was so reassured because I wasn’t alone.

A few of the people who supported me did so from afar. I reached out immediately to a few people with connections to Wanderful for online articles and resources. One of those was Leanna. I felt comfortable reaching out to her because she had been assaulted and was not afraid to write about this personal issue so publicly. She inspired me to be open about healing and to let others know they are not alone.

Delia reminded me that, although I wasn’t physically harmed, this was a traumatic experience and that I am more than worthy of self-care.

4. Be okay with your recovery time.

The first day was the worst. I had an insane amount of flashbacks. My mind kept replaying every little thing that had happened and how I felt in those 10 eternal seconds of my attack. I didn’t know when the flashbacks would stop, but I decided to be okay with it. I was also okay with crying at random times because I knew it would pass. I knew I needed to give myself the time I needed to process what had happened.

5. Talk to a therapist.

After my assault, I spoke to a therapist every day for three days. She helped me to come to terms with what happened and to process it further. I don’t usually seek out therapy, but I knew I couldn’t do this alone and that I needed to have a better idea of what to expect. Calling a therapist is still awkward for me, but I know that it is worth it. I don’t enjoy appearing weak, but I know that the short-term discomfort of reaching out for help far outweighs feeling too ashamed to reach out in the first place.

My therapist let me know that my flashbacks were a normal, bodily response and that, with time, they would decrease.

If you can’t afford a therapist, there may be a therapist in your area that offers their services on a sliding-scale. There are also online therapy options and help that you can find in books.

6. Be vulnerable.

Avoid listening to social stigmas of feeling “ashamed” that this happened to you. It wasn’t easy for me to write a descriptive blog post about my experience. The hardest part was clicking “publish,” but it was worth it.

I broke the silence about assault. Friends and acquaintances reached out to me, offering words of solidarity and comfort. I reminded myself that vulnerability is not weakness. We fear being vulnerable because we fear rejection, but I have learned to push past this fear and embrace my vulnerability.

Hopefully, you will never need to heal yourself after an assault. But you may encounter a friend who could really benefit from your support. If you do need this list, know that what you experienced is not your fault. Repeat that a hundred times to yourself if you need to.

Further Resources:
Post-Harassment Self-Care by Autostraddle
Traveling Is Healing for Me, a story by male PTSD survivor C. David Moody
Traveling with PTSD Discussion Forum

Do you have any other advice for fellow travelers about recovering from an assault? Share them in the comments.

Char Stoever was born in Mexico and grew up in Moses Lake, Washington. While at Wellesley College, she gravitated toward learning French and enjoyed being in language classrooms the most. After studying abroad and traveling in France, she realized how empowering it was to be a woman traveler. After graduating, she tutored at-risk high schoolers in San Antonio, Texas. She then taught at Brooke Charter School in Boston. In August 2014 she began her 27-month Peace Corps Nicaragua service as a TEFL Teacher Trainer. As the LGBTQ volunteer coordinator, she has led safe space trainings for Peace Corps Staff. She does social media marketing for the Peace Corps Nicaragua Gender and Development Committee,  and is an editor of Va Pué, the volunteer-run magazine. She also does social media work for Soma Surf Resort Nicaragua.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, Stories Tagged With: assault, Nicaragua, running, traveling

Traveling Alone as a Woman in India

June 8, 2015 By HKearl

The park I walked to was across the street.
The park I walked to was across the street.

I have traveled to 50 U.S. states and 17 countries (excluding countries where I’ve only been to the airport). Mostly I’ve traveled with my family, friends, colleagues, or my male partner. It’s, of course, when I travel alone that I face the most street harassment.

My current trip to India to attend and present at a convening of UN Global Safe Cities partners from 24 countries later this week is no exception.

I know this, of course. I only traveled to Egypt three years ago once my dad agreed to go with me. If I was ever not by his side for an instant, I was usually harassed immediately. In Ethiopia last year, I presented at a conference for the US State Department. One afternoon when I walked on the streets near the hotel, I was accosted and followed several times by men. (“I just want to make friends. It’s the African way.”)

I was in India five years ago for another UN safe cities conference and I did not book a flight until I had found someone with whom to travel. She was a female friend my age. We faced some harassment during our three days of sightseeing, especially when we went to Agra, but it was mostly “just” excessive staring. I think we were a buffer for each other in a sense. This time, if I venture in public I do not have that buffer.

I arrived in India last night and the conference is at a very nice hotel near the embassies and government buildings in Delhi. It’s a much less crowded and more upper-scale area than much of Delhi, it’s also not very residential. So it’s not super crowded and I also thought it might be “safe” for me to take a walk this morning when I had down time. I will be primarily at the hotel without time to get around the city, so I at least wanted to see the surrounding streets. I kept telling myself, the women here do this every day. I can do it, too.

On Google Maps, I spotted a park about 3/4ths of a mile away. It was just two turns to get there, so I didn’t bring a map or hefty guide book and knew if I just paid attention, I could easily get there and back. It was over 100 degrees and bright out, so I donned a hat and sunglasses and dressed in pants and a tshirt. I didn’t see any other non-Indians around and instead of being able to blend in and walk unobserved, several men picked me out and picked on me. Men in auto-rickshaws tried to get me in their vehicle, promising to take me to the best shopping. One man on foot followed along side me for nearly 10 minutes (maybe less, but it felt that long), telling me there were political demonstrators the direction I was headed and it would be dangerous and that I should go with him to the tourist office to book travel to Agra or to go with him to the shopping area. It took a long time to shake him off, he was so insistent on telling me the right thing for me to do. And he straight up lied. There was no political demonstration.

A few other men approached me to ask personal questions and try to tell me where to go or what to do. I persevered to my destination only to find that, like the museums, it was closed on Mondays. Gardeners were doing yard work. I had no interest in continuing to be accosted and harassed and turned around and went directly back to my hotel. I was harassed up to within a block of the compound. I was so relieved to be back.

Walking in 100+ degree heat
Walking in 100+ degree heat

I thought perhaps the harassment was more because I was white/Western = someone with money than because I was female, but my gender certainly played a role. At dinner, I found out that a white male colleague had also taken a walk this morning – for two hours – without incident. And I think if I had been with someone else, we may have still been approached, but I think the first time we said no, that would be it. All but one of the men who approached me were very persistent and insistent on interrupting me and bossing me around and disregarded my “no thank you’s” until I straight up became rude and shouted no or ignored them. I also don’t think I would have been asked personal questions if I was with someone else or if I were a man.

For more context, there were probably 50 men to every one woman I saw during my walk, so I certainly stood out simply for being female. But I did not observe any men harassing the women I saw. Twice men literally bee-lined for me instead of an Indian woman nearby. (This is in contrast to my last visit when my friend and I witnessed several Indian men harassing Indian women. One was the driver of our auto-rickshaw who swerved to the sidewalk to harass a young woman waiting alone for a bus.)

One of my other colleagues who arrived this afternoon from NYC said she was harassed by the customs officer at the airport. He began persistently interrogating her about her marital/relationship status because she too was traveling alone.

Street harassment is a problem everywhere and in my experience, it is certainly always more pronounced when I am alone, no matter the country. I hate that I need an escort to feel safer.

I am sorry to be missing out on seeing more of Delhi, but I’d rather be un-harassed, especially during a week when harassment is a focal point of my thoughts and work. Especially in an unfamiliar area and country, it is draining and exhausting to deal with it and you have to be on 100% high alert, unsure about anyone’s intentions or for how long they will follow you or what they may escalate to doing.

I am grateful for the privilege to be staying in a hotel where, so far, I have not faced harassment and feel relatively safe. I hate that havens like that are necessary (and that many women do not have places they can go to feel safe). I wish that everyone could feel safe everywhere, myself included.

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Filed Under: SSH programs, street harassment Tagged With: India, solo traveling, traveling

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