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“These sexually exploited comments were coming from children”

April 1, 2011 By Contributor

I have been harassed twice last week. Both incidents were small but the affect it had on me was BIG.

I have had it with society. What has happened to our supposed ‘civil’ race? The human race. We have become more savage and uncivilised than animals. Even they are far more dignified than us! I swear by it.

I was waiting for a taxi outside a guest house in Porthcawl. The night before, I had dyed my brown hair, blonde. Only it turned out slightly ginger. I wasn’t all that bothered about it. I could dye it again. The only thing I was sensitive about was what OTHER people might think. Would they stare at me? Would they laugh at me? Will some arrogant asshole come along and make a snide comment? Well, I was half expecting it… and my fear was confirmed.

A gang of teenagers were walking on the other side of the road and were ALL staring at me. “Here we go” I thought to myself. And when I looked back, a boy made a face and said “Eww”. Then a girl did the same. I sighed. I knew it!

Then they carried on walking as though nothing had happened. Yes, to them, maybe it was ‘nothing’. But guess what you jerks?? Your sheer ignorance happened to ruin my day! I’m sure you would feel proud of that wouldn’t you? If you knew.

Then a few days later, I was on my way to my local community hall and I had to walk past a shop. Three young boys were hanging around. They only looked about 12. I didn’t think much of them until after I had walked past them, I heard shouts of “Can I bum you?” “Move that ass!”

These sexually exploited comments were coming from children. As I walked on ignoring their jeering, I shook my head in disbelief. What has this world come to?

Sexual harassment is getting younger and younger. I have experienced this before with young kids. And each time it happens, it disgusts me more and more. Where are their morals? Are their parents aware of how they are behaving when they are not around? Where have they picked this type of language up? It beats me.

All I can say is they are not being taught a very important thing – respect. And I find it very saddening.

– Clarice

Location: South Wales, UK

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: street harassment, Wales

One week, three instances of harassment in Wales

March 3, 2011 By Contributor

Hello. I have not written in here for a while – fortunately. But now I have a reason to write.

I have been harassed three times this last week.

Ok, first one: I was walking down my street on my way to my boyfriend’s house. Two lads walked past me and one said, “Alright love?” I politely replied, “Yes thanks,” and went on. I didn’t think much of it until i heard them snickering a few seconds afterwards. Why?

Second story: I was walking back from my boyfriend’s house (on a different day) and a gang of teenagers walked across the road near me. A boy shouted, “Can I have your number?” I told himI have a boyfriend. Then he yelled, “Twat!” at me before rambling on that I was being ‘stubborn’. What appauled me the most was that there were girls with him and one said, “He wants to buttf*ck you.” Sigh.

Third tale: I was walking to the local supermarket when a teenage boy and girl came walking towards me. As I came in line with them, he shouted, “Fuck my ass!”

I have two words for the lot of you idiots. GROW UP.

– Clarice

Location: Porthcawl and North Cornelly, Wales

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: sexual harassment, sexually explicit language, street harassment, Wales

Three organizations that care about women’s safety in public

June 16, 2010 By HKearl

In light of my recent post about if “the left” cares that women aren’t safe in public, which is rather a downer piece, I want to do an upper piece and point out three organizations that do care. I applaud them for taking this issue seriously.

1. United Nations: Through UNIFEM the UN has a comprehensive Safe Cities project. The initiative started in Peru and Argentina and has spread to other countries, such as India.

“Harassment and abuse of women and girls in public spaces is a rampant yet largely neglected issue. This module provides guidance on how to create safe cities and communities for women and girls to live a life free of violence drawing on the knowledge of experts and on existing programmes that work.  This advance version, walks you through essential programming elements, giving step-by-step guidance for implementation with illustrative case studies and links to tools and other resources.”

Printed out, it’s over 200 pages. I’m in the midst of reading through it and I’m impressed by its scope and am SO glad that an organization with the caliber of the UN is addressing this issue.

2. Government of Wales: Recently they launched a “One Step Too Far” Campaign that illustrates the slippery slope between harmless interactions and harassment in public places.

“The campaign asks individuals to re-assess the impacts of their own behaviour and that of their peers. The absolute cut-off between harmless and abusive is subject to debate, and depends on the context and on the individuals concerned. One thing is not open for debate however, and that is that any behaviour that degrades, humiliates or frightens a woman is unacceptable.

Gender discrimination stems from a man’s perceived sense of entitlement. It’s this attitude that gives him the green light to direct derogatory and unfair behaviour towards women. By accepting this behaviour- either as a woman or a man- we propagate this attitude in society as a whole.

If it’s ok to express these attitudes, then it’s ok to express these behaviours, right? And if it’s ok to express these behaviours, then where’s the harm in pushing it a bit further, right? Sexism falls within a continuum of harm, a slippery slope of ever-worsening behaviours that moves women further and further from where they’re entitled to be.

Physical violence towards women, sometimes resulting in death, is where that slippery slope ends. Which is why we must all challenge these attitudes.”

The hidden camera video is excellent and they list numerous resources. There’s also a comments section though I’d pass on it unless you love reading comments from men who think it’s perfectly fine to harass women in public who dress “a certain way.”

3. International Center for Research on Women: They are running an excellent initiative in India focused on changing boys’ and men’s attitudes about masculinity and gender issues, including addressing the rampant problem of street harassment, or eve teasing, there. One component of the initiative is called “Parivartan.” Through it, cricket coaches and role models on community cricket teams attend workshops on gender issues and then, because the others on the team look up to them, expose large groups of boys to healthy definitions of manhood and respect for women. This excerpt explains the impact on one of the participants:

Rajesh Jadhav via ICRW website

“…As is custom, Rajesh explains that women stood in a compartment [of the train] relegated for them. But the train was packed on this day, so some women were in the general area, alongside men. That’s when Rajesh saw a few men deliberately brush up against women. His eyes caught the pained looks on women’s faces.

Another time – actually, many other times – Rajesh says he was with friends when they harassed girls with lewd comments. He says he’s seen friends do so if they thought a girl was too tall. If they thought her skin was too dark. If she was with her boyfriend, they’d comment about what she did with him sexually.

In India, such behavior by Rajesh’s friends is called “eve teasing.” It runs the gamut, from making suggestive remarks to groping women, and is relatively common in public settings.

“I always used to feel … that we look at women and girls from a narrow perspective, and we make fun of their existence,” says Rajesh, who is pursing a bachelor’s degree in commerce at a nearby college – a rare opportunity in his community. “I’ve seen girls break down and cry and I couldn’t do anything.”

Until now.

These days, Rajesh has the confidence to speak out against mistreating women and girls. Sometimes, he even intervenes to stop it. He admits to being pressured to harass girls, too – and has in the past – but no more. “I know now that is harming someone’s dignity.”As a participant in ICRW’s Parivartan program, Rajesh has become an ambassador of sorts, preaching to his peers that women shouldn’t be controlled, and that men need to learn how to handle problems without using violence.”

So wonderful. Can we please get a similar program in the US?! Additionally, check out ICRW’s publication What Men Have to Do With It.

“Most policies that strive for equality still focus exclusively on empowering women and neglect the role that men can play in the effort. This report summarizes how policies of seven countries (Brazil, Chile, India, Mexico, South Africa, Norway and Tanzania) involve men in gender equality goals. The study also examines whether the policies address social norms that reinforce traditional perceptions of what it means to be a man. The authors analyze advances, challenges and remaining gaps in a range of policy arenas”

I am so grateful for the programs of these organizations and hope that other big groups will follow suit and address the fact that nearly all women and girls are unsafe and unwelcome in public spaces at least sometimes because of some boys and men. That won’t change until we all do our part to make sure it changes.

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Filed Under: street harassment Tagged With: eve teasing, International Center for Research on Women, one step too far, Parivartan, sexual harassment, street harassment, UNIFEM. United Nations, Wales

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