Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

What Can Men Do?

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Dr. Gary Barker, President of Promund-US, did an interview with Mashable a few weeks ago about what men can do in light of the #MeToo movement and ending sexual abuse. Check out all 5 actions in the full article, as well as excerpts below:

“1. Listen to women. Women are sharing their stories, from just two words to details about harassment and assault. If you as a man feel compelled to comment beyond words of support, think twice. Women who’ve made themselves vulnerable by sharing their painful stories don’t need men second-guessing their accounts or making contrarian remarks.  Before you do anything, listen.

2. Talk to other boys and men about #MeToo. If you can’t believe so many women have experienced sexual violence, other boys and men probably don’t realize it either. #MeToo is an opportunity for men to talk to each other about how those experiences are universal for women, and to talk about what men can do.

3. Call it out when you see it.* Too often men see other men harassing or abusing power and turn the other way. It’s uncomfortable for us to question other men, particularly when it’s a friend, a co-worker, or even a relative. Lots of other men knew what Harvey Weinstein did and said nothing. Take a stand and call it out even if it’s uncomfortable – and even if it puts you at risk.

4. Advocate for better education and prevention. Use #MeToo as an opportunity to advocate for long-term education and prevention efforts in schools, campuses, and workplaces. Meaningful change happens through multiple education sessions over time, institutional messages about prevention, and comprehensive training for staff and leadership. Boys and girls need to learn about consent, sexuality, and respect in open, honest ways.

We cannot let our silence be deafening as men. We cannot look the other way and pretend that it’s those other men. We need to speak out and take action today, first and foremost listening to women who have experienced harassment.”

Learn how Promundo is working with partners in the United States and more than 40 countries worldwide to challenge the root causes of sexual harassment and sexual assault and to promote gender justice.

Check out our male allies section and my books Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe & Welcoming for Women and Stop Global Street Harassment: Growing Activism Around the World for information specifically around what men can do to stop street harassment.

For programming ideas, check out Collective Action for Safe Spaces’ “Rethinking Masculinity” program.

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UK: We Welcome All Men Who Are Ready to Take a Stand

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Tracey Wise, London, UK, SSH Blog Correspondent

Chris Green. Image via http://www.coe.int/
Chris Green. Image via http://www.coe.int/

Since establishing Safe Gigs for Women in June, after being groped at a big music event in the UK, it has become clear that I was not alone in facing this problem. Many women have contacted us, sharing their experiences of harassment at gigs, some saying as a result they now no longer go to gigs alone. At least three major festivals in the UK this summer reported serious sexual assaults. And let’s not forget that infamous T shirt from Coachella.

As such, it became clear that one of the principle aims of this campaign has to be to engage with gig goers to raise awareness of how their behaviour can impact others. Key to Safe Gigs for Women is the idea that this isn’t ‘man hating or women blaming’. But we must have the conversation that says it is not okay for men to grope women at music events nor is it appropriate to see the darkness and crowded space as a blanket for which it is acceptable to do this and get away with it. It will also be working to ensure that we are looking out for each other. Gigs and festivals can be a daunting place at times, and with music being very much, in our eyes, a force for good, to encourage everyone to look out for each other at all times will go a massive way to address this. The establishing of other projects addressing just this issue in the UK further highlight how this is a problem, including the White Ribbon Music project and Girls Against.

Hannah from Girls Against, said when asked why this project and why now:

“We’ve had numerous people… get in contact with us to say that they had no idea this even went on. We’d like to keep educating people… We’ve had people say that they’ve seen this happen but did nothing about it so we want to change that… We should be joining together and supporting each other so that everyone has a good time”.

Writing in support of Safe Gigs for Women on the Land of Sunshine blog, Niki Jones rightly points out that “a woman shouldn’t need a burly protector in order to enjoy a band”.

And it’s not just the UK. Recently, the US based band Speedy Ortiz set up a helpline for fans experiencing harassment at gigs.

Safe Gigs for Women was very much established in the opinion that for this to be successful, we must first encourage and defend the teaching of consent in all schools, as part of sex and relationship education. Secondly, if men are the “problem,” then men have to be part of the solution. So how do we do this?

Whilst I could stand and talk about this all day, chances are someone out there will call me a whinging feminist. But to achieve this, as I was lucky enough to hear Chris Green (director of the White Ribbon Project in the UK) advocate, men have to have the conversation with other men. Men have to call out other men on their inappropriate behaviour. Safe Gigs for Women welcomes all men ready to stand with us in this.

Born and raised in London, Tracey is a graduate of City University. She has spent the best part of her life at gigs and festivals and obsessing about music and created the “Safe Gigs for Women” project.

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Men can stop street harassment

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Street harassment and rape are related in many ways. For example, a fear that street harassment will escalate into a rape attempt is not an uncommon reaction for many women (especially when the harassment takes the form of stalking, physical contact, and sexually violent language).

Like rape, street harassment isn’t going to end until men – the majority of the perpetrators – work to end it. The fact is, women can take every precaution told to them (which limits their freedom and sense of safety) and some of them will still be raped or street harassed. The answer is for men to stop their behavior.

Women can help educate men to stop and can make men’s actions have consequences by reporting them, calling them out on their actions, and intervening when other women are harassed, etc. But ultimately, we can only accomplish so much without men’s cooperation and participation. I know that most men don’t engage in street harassment, just like most men don’t rape, but all men need to hold each other accountable for that kind of behavior and help make it socially unacceptable.

I just came across a “Ten things men can do to stop rape” list issued by Kansas State University and I’m adapting several of their suggestions to address ways men can stop street harassment:

Things that Men Can Do

  1. Be Aware of Language. Words often demean or put down women. Avoid using words like bitch, whore, ditz, bimbo, and ho and language that reduces women to their body parts. That language sends a negative message about females that devalues them. Seeing them in such a light makes it easier to treat them disrespectfully or to view them as stupid or to only value them in a sexual way.
  2. Speak Up. If your friends are engaging in behavior that is making women uncomfortable or that is clearly inappropriate, don’t participate, don’t encourage them, and tell them to stop. When you see street harassment occurring, intervene and help end the incident. You may not always see street harassment occurring but you will likely hear jokes and language that is inappropriate, makes light of rape or the harassment of women, or degrades women. When that happens, don’t laugh, don’t encourage the speaker, and tell him or her to stop.
  3. Support Survivors of Street Harassment. Street harassment will not be taken seriously until everyone understands how common it is and stops blaming women for its occurrence. In the U.S. alone, millions of women are harassed each year. By learning to sensitively support women who experience and report street harassment, men can help individuals feel more comfortable about coming forward and talking about what has happened to them (and may be happening to them quite regularly) and the impact street harassment has on their lives and well being.
  4. Talk with Women. Listen to women’s stories to learn how street harassment & the fear of rape affects their daily lives. Try to understand how it feels to be harassed or “complimented” over and over by random men. Conceptualize what it’s like to go in public and get followed or touched by a man or group of men after having been told since a young age that women are at risk of rape by strangers.
  5. Talk with Men. Talk about what it is like to be viewed as a potential harasser or rapist. Talk about how they would feel if a woman they loved was harassed on the street or in other public places. Talk about appropriate ways to express an interest in a woman you see in public.
  6. Contribute Your Time and Money. Join or donate to an organization working to prevent street harassment, like Right Rides in NYC.
  7. Work against ALL oppression. The harassment of women feeds off of all forms of prejudice including racism and homophobia. By speaking out against behaviors that promote one group as being superior to another, you support everyone’s equality.
  8. Don’t do it. Don’t ever harass a woman or do anything that may make her feel demeaned, uncomfortable, scared, or angry. If you are in doubt about a comment or action, just don’t do it. Act respectfully toward anyone you encounter.

Do you have other suggestions?

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