Archives for March 2012

A year or so ago, I posted a story here about my constant harassment living here in Paris.

After being followed and chased by a guy who exposed himself to me and tried to get into my apartment building after following me across the city, I decided to move to an area that would hopefully be safer. But I was wrong.

Three months ago I moved to a completely new area where I am paying more than double the rent I was paying before, just so I could live in a safe area and feel secure knowing that these things won’t happen to me. I do still experience street harassment here, like comments and leering, but not as much as before, until about a month ago.

Then, a month ago, I came out of my front door to go to work very early in the morning. It was still pitch dark, with no one around at all. As I walked out of my door, a car, which was right outside my door, started driving.

As I walked, I realised that the car was driving slowly behind me. I was walking along the footpath with cars along my side between me and the road. As soon as I got to an open driveway, the guy in the car deliberately and quickly drove up in front of me, blocking the driveway so I could not have got past and would have been right at his car door with nowhere to go. Luckily, I was hyper aware and as he drove up over the driveway, I ran around the front of the car and ran as fast as I could up the street. He reversed out and chased after me in his car.

I got to the end of the street and turned right. He followed and did the same as before, blocking the path. I turned and ran left as fast as I could and ran until I got to a cafe that was opening up with someone inside. The man in the car sat and watched me.

I was so terrified and in shock, and it didn’t occur to me to call the police.

A month later (two days ago), I had to go to work at the same time as I had that day, so I asked my girlfriend to walk with me. We stepped outside my front gate, and the car was waiting in exactly the same place and he started the engine immediately as I stepped outside. He drove out along the road but we stopped, I saw him and realised he was there and that he was the same guy. He also saw that I was with someone. I began to panic and couldn’t breathe.

He drove a few cars down the street and pulled in to park. My girlfriend and I turned and ran the other way.
But, I knew I couldn’t live like this. I wanted to report him. So we walked back and took his number plate. But we had to get close to the car to do it. As we stood and looked at the plate, he got out of the car. We turned and ran as fast as we could the other way and he got back in the car.

Yesterday, we reported it to the police and my description of him matched the owner of the car. They said that they will ring him today and tell him to stop. They gave me a personal number to call if I see him, and told me to check before leaving my place. If I see him I am to call them and they will come immediately.

Their response has made me feel supported, but I am still living in fear.

Last night I went out with my friends, had a couple of drinks, and then we are sure that someone put something in my drink. I was paralyzed and lost consciousness. I was taken in an ambulance and spent the night in the emergency until I could walk about 5 hours later.

So, my plan for moving to a safe neighborhood was obviously optimistic. No matter where you are, no matter what you do, it just seems to keep happening.

What more can we do? I now never walk alone, which obviously means my entire life is now dictated by these men and their behaviour and my freedom, peace and happiness is constantly affected by them.

– Grace

Location: Paris, le Marais

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Between the ages of 18 and 33 I lived in Birmingham and experienced street harassment most times that I left the house on my own. It could be wolf whistles or cat calling, mostly it was men coming up to me and talking to me in a disrespectful manner and refusing to go away, about a dozen times it was actual groping or physical attacks.

Ignoring them would simply encourage them. The only way to get rid of them was to get angry and start shouting, then other people would take notice and they would back off. But they usually do it when no one else is nearby.

Do not listen when people tell you not to make eye contact – that is the worst thing you can do as a woman, it just encourages them. The best thing you can do is to keep your head up and look around for potential pests, since if you stare them out it can make them back off. You have to be constantly ready for an argument, you can’t smile or look friendly, and you must never look preoccupied. I found it psychologically exhausting.

I actually found the physical attacks easier to deal with than the verbal ones, since the physical attacks were relatively rare and you just react instinctively, but the verbal attacks were constant and unremitting and there is very little you can do about them.

Anyone who thinks complaining about street harassment is making a fuss over nothing should try living like that. At the time it was the worst factor in my life. You think you are coping with it, then you go on holiday to somewhere like Cornwall where this kind of behaviour is far less prevalent, and you remember what normal life is like, and you dread going back home.

And it’s not triggered by skimpy clothing, though I can imagine that making it worse. I didn’t DARE wear anything flesh-revealing. It still happened even if you were wrapped up in thick winter clothing.

When I got married 12 years ago I insisted that we left Birmingham, since I did not want any daughters of mine growing up and having to experience that. There are nicer parts of Brum where it doesn’t happen but they are expensive.

I think the problem is that most men would not dream of behaving this, and because they do not see it happening, they do not realise how serious a problem it is. My friends all drove everywhere or used taxis, but I didn’t want to feel that I could not walk down the street, I wanted to face up to the problem, however it is impossible and in the end I just moved away.

I still cannot believe that something that has such a huge impact on women’s lives has not yet become a major issue. That’s why I am glad you have started this campaign. I should have started something myself, but at the time I just wanted to forget all about it.

– Anne-Marie Armour

Location: Birmingham, UK

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When I was 14/15 years old I sat on a bench at the Shopping Mall, waiting for some friends to get there. The Mall was crowded, but when the corridor got a little emptier this gross man showed up walking by and sending me kisses and looking at me in a really nasty way. I was shocked, and nobody else saw him doing this to me. I was paralyzed, feeling like a piece of s**** for what he had done to me in a place that I thought was secure.

A few moments later I wasn’t paralyzed anymore, but full of anger because I didn’t react and I was feeling like a perfect victim.

A few moments later, when I was still thinking all that, the same man came back walking in the same corridor. When he saw me sitting in the same spot, he gave me a big big gross smile, with a lot of bad intentions in it, and started walking slower.

I knew he was going to be a jerk again, so I kept calm, I smiled back and showed him the middle finger, with my arm up in the air so everyone could see I was doing that to him.

His smiles vanished. He was so embarrassed and shocked that he flew from the place without looking back.

– TMS

Location: São Paulo, Brazil

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
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