Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Archives for May 2013

Why it’s not okay to “compliment” strangers on the street

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I LOVE this article by Miri about why men should not tell random women on the streets that she is “hot” or otherwise comment on her appearance. Here are a few key quotes but I recommend reading and sharing the whole article!

“It seems that men are finally starting to realize that many women do not like street harassment (or, in the parlance of the uninitiated, “unsolicited compliments about a stranger’s appearance”). This is really great and a sign that activists are doing a good job.

However, predictably, I’ve also seen a surge of men desperately trying to find loopholes so that they can still, yes, give women their irrelevant and unasked-for opinion on their appearance. Hence all the “But what if I say it this way? But what if I say it that way? But what if I make it REALLY CLEAR that I’m NOT TRYING TO BE CREEPY? But why can’t I just give a girl a compliment for crying out loud?

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“Guys, if you find yourself wanting to compliment a random woman you do not know and who is not asking for your opinion, ask yourself this: why does your opinion on her appearance matter?

Why do you absolutely need to express that opinion, even knowing that it might make her uncomfortable?

Why is it her responsibility to deal with that potential discomfort or “get over it,” not your responsibility to keep your opinions to yourself unless they are relevant or solicited?

And, most importantly–if complimenting people matters so much to you, why not compliment a female friend who knows and trusts you? Hell, why not compliment another man?”

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“I have to be on guard”

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I was walking to the train station to get to work this morning, when this dreadlocked guy walked by me and thumped his fist against his chest. I guess he assumed that because I also had dreadlocks that I’d reply back in kind, but I instead said, “Good morning.” This caused him to go, “Huh? Huh?”

I’ve seen this guy before a few weeks prior. I opened the door of a nearby 7-11 and he just walked right through it without saying “Thank you” and went to talk to his friend hanging out outside as if I didn’t exist. I said, “You’re welcome!” sarcastically a bunch of times until I finally got a “Thank you” from him.

Back to today. I don’t think that this guy was following me since he walked over to the street a block away (whereas I walk down another street and then turn towards this street when I get closer to the train station), but once I was on the same street he started yelling “Yo!” and “Psst!” as if he wanted my attention. He was not going to get it, but I kept looking back to see what this clod was up to, keeping one step ahead of him. I managed to get to the train station and on a train, and thankfully did not see this guy enter the train station.

This incident made me uncomfortable, and since I have a feeling that I may see this guy again, I have to be on guard. By his weird reaction to my “Good morning” and his lack of sense at the 7-11 a few weeks ago, I get the impression that this guy’s not in his right mind. I didn’t feel that this guy’s behavior warranted calling the police, but if it does get to that point I have no problem doing such.

– Anonymous

Location: Courthouse area (Arlington, VA)

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USA: Sky’s Out, Thighs Out

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By Lauren Duhon, SSH Correspondent

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past couple of weeks, spring is here, summer is right around the corner and the warmer weather is here to stay. With higher temperatures and sunnier days, it’s time to break out the short shorts, sundresses and swimsuits. Fewer clothes shouldn’t be a reason to justify sexual harassment, but all too frequently I hear men making comments, usually not in a discrete manner, as young women emerge from winter’s cold embrace.

Walking through campus on any given day, I’ve heard countless guys comment on the anatomy of female students; stripping them down with their minds bit by bit like they’re some type of prey for the taking. “Oh, man, did you see that ass?” Charming, isn’t it? A different situation happened to me the other day at a festival. I was wearing a dress when a guy walked up to me, looked right down my dress, made a comment about my breasts and then tried to strike up a conversation about my camera (I was taking photos for my university’s newspaper). The “best” (for lack of a better word) one I’ve heard is “sky’s out, thighs out,” which several of my friends use in reference to the female students and their shorter shorts during this time of year.

All too often I find myself looking into the mirror before I leave my apartment and wanting to put on more clothes in an attempt to avoid unnecessary commentary that I may come across during the day.  And, most of the time, I have grown to dislike the warmer months simply based on the fact that you are less covered and feel more vulnerable. As if I feel like I have to be more modest. Not everyone may feel this way, but I shouldn’t feel ashamed for my clothing decisions. What I choose to wear shouldn’t affect my day-to-day life, nor should some random man influence that decision.

I blame society for perpetuating the wrong idea. The way a woman dresses shouldn’t define or insinuate any sort of action from the opposite sex. Don’t say it’s okay or everyone does it, because it’s not and no one should. Everyone is naturally attracted to others, that’s the normal part. But, that doesn’t grant anyone a free pass to harass others as they please.

So, next time you see an attractive girl, please think about what you’re doing. Street harassment is not a compliment. No one wants to be catcalled or whistled at. Keep your thoughts to yourself and avoid making any vulgar comments. I’d like to walk down the street with confidence knowing I won’t feel attacked for my outfit of choice.

Lauren Duhon is a student journalist from LSU in Baton Rouge, La.

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Success! BareMinerals Drops Sexist Signs

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Cross-posted from Collective Action for Safe Spaces with permission.

This weekend, Washington, DC resident Sara Alcid was appalled and outraged when she went to cheer on friends at the Nike Women’s Marathon in DC and saw groups of men holding sexist signs commenting on the women runner’s looks and clothing. Sara found out that the signs were a part of BareMinerals by Bare Escentuals’ “Go Bare” campaign and tour, and DC was the tour’s first stop. Next step: Sara partnered with CASS and Holly Kearl of Stop Street Harassment (SSH) to launch a Change.org petition for BareMinerals to stop promoting street harassment and objectifying women runners.

Street harassment is no joke. According to research conducted by Kearl, 99 percent of women experience street harassment in the form of sexually explicit comments, sexist remarks, groping, leering, stalking, public masturbation and assault. What’s more, Kearl found that 46 percent of women said they exercised at a gym because of fear of harassment and assault while outdoors.

We’re HAPPY to report that within just a few hours of launching the petition yesterday morning, BareMinerals contacted Sara and CASS and SSH to let us know that they will NOT be using the signs again. We held a phone call with BareMinerals later yesterday evening, and we were pleased with their genuine regret at having promoted sexual harassment and trivialized women runners.

The following sums up their response:

“First and foremost, we want to say how incredibly sorry we are that we caused any offense. Our messages were meant to motivate and support but you’ve made us realize that not everybody would find these messages motivational or supportive. It’s ironic because you’re exactly the kind of women that we are inspired by because you’re fighting the good fight and standing up for women. Our mission is to make a positive difference in women’s lives and to inspire women to be their very best. So to know that this is not what was translated on the street really pains us. We take your concerns so seriously, and we really believe this is a learning opportunity for our brand. Please rest assured that these signs will not be used going forward on the Go Bare tour. We’re glad we’re having this chance to learn.”

We want to take a moment to thank the BareMinerals team for showing a commitment to women’s concerns, particularly those regarding their freedom from street harassment and sexual objectification. In an act of showing BareMinerals and other companies like it that women respond positively to marketing decisions that value them, we encourage you to send a tweet:

Dear @BareMinerals: Thank you for listening to women’s concerns & taking #streetharassment seriously! bit.ly/18uq73x #fem2 #endSH

Most importantly, we want to send a huge thanks to everyone who helped tweet and petition to send our message. Your support and activism are the very core of our mission, which holds that — together — we can collectively prevent street harassment (including a culture that normalizes it) and create safe spaces for all.

Photos of BareMinerals’ #GoBare campaign at the April 28th Nike Women’s Marathon in DC. Credit: Sara Alcid

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